View Full Version : Hiked twice in life and headed toward the AT...
Ok, girls..
I am 28, and I am VERY new at hiking. I have done a few couple-of-mile trips, NO BACKPACKING, and my camping experience is limited to truck camping in state parks.
My husband of nearly 9 years is heading out March of next year to start his life-long dream of thru-hiking to Katahdin. (sp.?) He has (not-so-subtly) hinted that he REALLY would enjoy my company. I started by saying a few weekends here and there. That has extended to a few weeks here and there. Now he is talking like I have committed to the whole thing!!! Having never really slept in the "woods", I feel like yelling HEEELLLPPP!!!
On one hand, I would like to go. It would be an adventure that I have never considered, but may never see again. On the other hand, I am scared as *&^#!! And I am DEFINATELY not committing to going yet (that is said in case he happens to find this thread and take it as an "all ahead full"!).
I would looovvee some friendly female advise as to how you ladies started camping, any "tricks of the trade" that would make me more comfortable in my hubby's ultralight world. I am open to everything from gear suggestions to hygiene to stamina tricks. I am REALLY at a loss.
Bless my husband, since he is trying his best to prepare me, but I think there may be things that only the girls can share.
Thanks in advance for all of your suggestions! (and prayers!!!) :o
Go! The best case is you love it more than him after a month and it binds you..worst case is you hate it, and leave the trail after a couple weeks.
Going UL doesn't have to mean not comfy either :) Let him know you would like a real tent (hey, it can be a fully enclosed bathtub floor tarp tent!) and get a good sleeping pad. The pad can make all the difference.
But most of all? Start hiking now! Get out there!
jmcgarrahan
06-15-2007, 10:55
I agree, you should go, My husband is on his thru hike and I desperatly wish I could be doing it with him. But definatley get out there and do a few weekend hikes, so you can determine for yourself what is comfortable for you. What type bag, sleeping pad and tent you will like. If your plan is March of next year, you have plenty of time to get out there and find what makes you comfortable. Maybe try a week long section somewhere really get a feel for the whole lifestyle.
In an effort to get my wife to come backpacking with me, I made major concessions for her comfort and piece of mind. I bought a larger, fully enclosed tent (she thought my other one was cramped). I agreed to carry a more comprehensive first aid kit, a bigger kitchen set - more, bigger pots, and my old Peak One gas stove (she doubted the effectiveness of my backpacking stove). I agreed to carry all the common gear, we agreed on extras, including more body wipes than anyone could possibly use and deoderant. I did draw the line at bringing a sun shower kit along.
She ended up changing her mind and never did backpack a single night with me (maybe I should have agreed to the sun shower kit), but the point is that I was willing to make major concessions if she would come along. Your hubby will undoubtably also.
As someone said, there is little risk. If you don't like it, you can leave the trail easily after a few days.
A couple things I would consider: Start in April. Tough enough with learn to backpack while you walk without adding the stress of being cold. You will still get nights in the thirties and you will be chilly, but nights in the teens can be daunting. Also go norhtbound, not south. Lots more company in the south for you to bond with. Oh, and try to work out ahead of time what happens if you bond with another woman hiker and enjoy her company (because this WILL happen), but her pacce is slower that what your husband would prefer. Will you maintain his pace, or hike slower so you can have female companionship. Neither is right or wrong, but a pre-hiketual agreement might prevent an on-trail argument. The more you cover beforehand, the more smoothly the hike will go, and the fewer misunderstandings.
Good luck. If you go, it will be an experience you will never forget, even if you decide to call it quits at Neels Gap.
hammock engineer
06-15-2007, 12:15
I hope you don't mind a little advice from another guy, but here it is.
I would try to go on a couple overnight or weekend trips this summer to know what you are getting yourself into. I have been on a couple day hikes and overnight with my current girl friend and a past ones. My experience is similar to Frosty. I always end up changing the way I do things to make them comfortable and have a good time. I still have fun doing it this way, but it is a different kind of fun. Something I would do for a few days, but not any longer than that. Too me it becomes about making sure they have a good time, it ususally means one way or another I lose a little fun. Be it a heavier pack or more work around camp.
I also suggest you sit down and really talk about it and make sure you both know what is excepted of both of you. I would do the same with any hiking partner.
Frosty's right.A pre-hiketual agreement is a great idea. There are a few couples that do well being with each other 24/ 7 and many that don't. There will be times when you guys need to be physically apart for practical reasons such as the above mentioned different pace or reasons of the overall health of the relationship. and you guys are going to have to work out how you are are going to do that.
Were I in your position I would spend the next couple of months learning your craft by hiking solo.
By doing so when you finally get on trail in April you will have some experience and ability and be a full partner in this adventure.
Good luck
guavaguy
06-15-2007, 17:37
Another .02 from a guy...My wife and daughter and I did the Smokies part of the AT last year. My wife loves to camp in a camper or car camp with an air mattress. She loved the AT but did not enjoy the 10 and 8 mile days. Her pack was too heavy (too much food) and she was not physically prepared. Also, I love to get up and start hiking by 8 or 9am...she likes to take her time and ease into it.
Hike your own hike but it's more fun when both hike in a similar fashion. Definitely try a 2 or 3 day sample hike first just so you know what you are getting yourself into.
Above all, enjoy the outdoors.
Aloha
There are a few couples that do well being with each other 24/ 7 and many that don't.
Luckily, my husband and I have had stints of time where we WERE spending 24/7 together. We worked/lived/played together, had all the same friends, everything. SO, this is not a problem.
I am more worried about dragging him down, and ruining his trip-of-a-lifetime. :confused:
Passionphish
06-15-2007, 19:16
There is no possible way YOU could ruin my trip of a life time. You were the first part of my "thru-hike through life" and you will be there long after the trail as eat'in me alive!!!!
Starting next weekend, we will work it all out.
Some, all of it, or none of the trail. I have my wants but nothing will get "ruined"... ;)
I just always dreamed of doing this with my "special someone". That's you!!!!! (Just in case there was some confusion between you and our daughter)
I wouldn't worry about that if I were you. I would have slowed down to 1/10 my desired pace if I could have had my girlfriend of 2 years out there with me.
Skidsteer
06-15-2007, 19:36
There is no possible way YOU could ruin my trip of a life time. You were the first part of my "thru-hike through life" and you will be there long after the trail as eat'in me alive!!!!
Starting next weekend, we will work it all out.
Some, all of it, or none of the trail. I have my wants but nothing will get "ruined"... ;)
I just always dreamed of doing this with my "special someone". That's you!!!!! (Just in case there was some confusion between you and our daughter)
Ah. The mystery is solved. A consumated WB marriage(in the female forum, naturally). ;)
1n the Sun
06-15-2007, 19:36
if nothing more, plan a nice long section hike and do some "car support" stuff with him during the vacation time you feel comfortable taking. Thru Hikers do need "at home" support, folks to send them new boots, goodies and whatnot...
but go for some major overnighters...heck...you have practically a whole year to try backpacking locally at other state parks and national recreation areas before taking off for a 2000+ mile hike!
Programbo
06-15-2007, 20:06
I`m afraid I`m going to have to be the fly in this little ointment...I would think long and hard about commiting to anything beyond the few weekends you mentioned with an "ultralighter", especially with basically no outdoors experience at all..I think his life-long dream of a thru-hike and your marriage might both suffer from you trying to make more happen than you are prepared for or really have an interest in...I have actually seen it happen a number of times..I recall one time outfitting this couple for an extended hike together and even drove them up to the trail and dropped them off..Two weeks later they were back in my store and were asking if I knew anyone who wanted to buy any used gear as they fought almost constantly out on the trail...I saw someone mentioned they would have slowed down to 1/10th their desired pace to have their g/f out there....I`m sure that would go over real well with someone who goes ultralight and is attempting a thru!............But in fairness I say you have a year to decide..Go out on some day hikes with him and maybe some weekend trips..See how it feels...Remember on a thru-hike you don`t only have to hike when you want and feel like it but also when you don`t ....If you find you don`t care for it I`m sure you can share in his dream and hike with routine visits and various other types of support along the way..Keep us all informed how it`s going!
if nothing more, plan a nice long section hike and do some "car support" stuff with him during the vacation time you feel comfortable taking. Thru Hikers do need "at home" support, folks to send them new boots, goodies and whatnot...
but go for some major overnighters...heck...you have practically a whole year to try backpacking locally at other state parks and national recreation areas before taking off for a 2000+ mile hike!
Agreed!
My husband and I do some lengthy sectioning of the AT together, and when I started hiking with him, I had a very, very difficult time keeping up. I worried I was going to ruin his good time, too.
I've learned a lot since we started doing this together--one, my husband has a lot more patience than I do! Also, I have learned that I can and do enjoy this, sometimes even more than he does. It all depends on the day. I had to get comfortable with telling him when enough was enough. I had to get comfortable with my gear. I had to get comfortable with being smelly. And as I started to recognize and honor my limitations, they began to broaden and I got better and more comfortable with this. I'm addicted now. I just did my first 100+ section (several before in the 85-90 mile range, but breaking a 100 was a big deal for me)...and we pushed out the last day at 32 miles, b/c of some weather issues (and the fact that my husband had contact dermatitis and was itching like crazy).
When I was new at this, I hiked as much as I could tolerate and did some angeling for the balance of his hike. I returned to the trail when I was comfortable doing so, and usually finished out the last day with him. Now I am usually at the front of the pack (although i think this is his ploy to shake the rattlers before he gets to them).
This is a very personal adventure. I have truly come to appreciate what people mean when they say "hike your own hike". You do just that. Sounds as though your husband expects no less. Hike your own hike--it will probably change from day to day, and it might include driving from point to point to meet him with some goodies when you need a shower and he doesn't. But it also might include some personal gains you never expected. We are shooting for a thru in 2010.
Have fun. Gum
Spirit Walker
06-17-2007, 02:12
You have almost a year to decide whether you enjoy hiking and backpacking enough to commit to it full time. Get out there every weekend you can between now and next spring. If you find that you do enjoy the hiking, that you like to spend a lot of time with your husband, and that the idea of hiking to Katahdin has grown on you -- then go for it. I doubt you'll regret it. OTOH, if you find that you hate hiking or camping and can't get past the heat/cold/dirt/bugs, etc. Now is the time to find out, not when you're on the trail.
For many of us, thruhiking is a really essential part of our lives - not just a long vacation, but a basic part of who we are and what we value. If that is the case for your husband, wouldn't you rather be a part of it, part of all the memories that he will treasure for the rest of his life, rather than just an onlooker?
When I hiked the AT the first time, I had been hiking for about three years and backpacking for less than one. I did it all solo - with nobody to help on gear selection, etc. I had read a little about the AT (the Rodale books), but was really unsure what I was getting myself into. You will have an experienced partner who can help you get what you need to get started as easily as possible. You have a large support crew - here and elsewhere. You can read journals or books to learn what thruhiking is like. Come to the Gathering this October and you will meet others of the tribe of thruhikers and can ask questions in person that you might not think to ask online. Most important - start hiking now. In a very short time you'll learn that it isn't as strange and scary as it seems now. A week on the trail and you'll feel right at home. At the least, you'll understand better what your husband is going through, if he does go without you.
soulrebel
06-17-2007, 13:29
I hiked with my wife. What a nightmare (probably more for her) !
Now we're closer than ever, but I definately brought our relationship to the brink of divorce a couple of times on the trail.
There is no possible way YOU could ruin my trip of a life time. You were the first part of my "thru-hike through life" and you will be there long after the trail as eat'in me alive!!!!
Starting next weekend, we will work it all out.
Some, all of it, or none of the trail. I have my wants but nothing will get "ruined"... ;)
I just always dreamed of doing this with my "special someone". That's you!!!!! (Just in case there was some confusion between you and our daughter)
YOU are awesome. Just know that i care about this hike, and i REALLY care about you, and want this to be fantastic...
:sun
Programbo
06-17-2007, 20:01
Get a room you two!
Passionphish
06-17-2007, 20:07
I would prefer a tent!
ok, ok...
I appreciate everyone's input. I am going to think (and pray!!) loooonngg and hard about this trip. As issues come up, I will jump on here and ask more questions.
thanks everyone!!!
BumpJumper
07-10-2007, 20:24
I wish I had a husband to go WITH. Go with him for goodness sakes.
Tell ya a story.
My husband wanted a motorcycle more than anything. A sport bike. I saw him get him by one and then he totalled another one so I was against them. His oldest son got one and when he came to visit, his dad was teary eyed that he could go ride with him.Something he always wanted to do.
Well, I caved. I told him to go buy one and jokingly told him to take out a $200k life insurance policy. HE DID.
Well, I rode with him on the back of that thing then said, "I hate riding on the back."
Well, he loved riding. That is all he wanted to do. No more doing ANYTHING I wanted to do.
I got a motorcycle as well. Just so I could be with him.
I started a riding group that grew to over 350 members.
To make a 4 1/2 year story short, that is all we did together. He got some friends that I didnt care about. He started doing things on the internet that I didnt like. (sent to him by one of these guys in the group) well....
WE DIVORCED.
I look back on it now and wondered what it would have been like if I had just said NO.
I am glad I am where I am today, but I just wanted to make HIM happy.
Go with your man and give it a go.
RockStar
07-10-2007, 21:05
I ad never camped or hiked a day in my life. Except for playing in the woods as a child. I started a Thru March of '06. It ended at Bly gap (The GA/NC border) due to back injury.
I thought I would miss a lot of things including but not limited to: Showers, McDonalds, and Sleeping in. I found that half the crap I brought I didn't want or need. I didn't miss the showers as noone cared if I smelled b/c we ALL did! And I don't like McDonalds much anyway. Sleeping in wasn't anything I missed because I didn't come out of my tent(except to pee at 2am) until the sun hit the vestibule! ;)
Im going back next year.
My hiking partner had camped before but never hiked. She hated hiking. Loved everything else about it except the walking in b/t camping. lol She missed McDonalds and felt like she was "holding me back" b/c she was slower. My advice to you is, If he says he would enjoy your company don't make the mistakes my partner made
A. Assuming I was lying when I said it was OKAY that we went slower. I assured her we would pick up pace as our bodies were ready.
B. If you have injury of ANY KIND especially CHAFFING...SAY SO ASAP. Don't wait days until it is nearly infected.
I enjoyed having company more than I enjoyed big miles. I enjoyed knowing I was helping her get to Katahdin with Moral support as was she by almost forcing a slower pace. As soon as she left I tried doing bigger miles. I did bigger miles and suffered the consequences.
Betst of luck!