View Full Version : Camping Tips

09-07-2007, 13:49
I thought these may be useful to some...

Get even with the bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.

A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.

The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.

When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.

**My personal favorite**

Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.

A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.

In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.

Do you have any other "useful" camping tips???

Appalachian Tater
09-07-2007, 13:52
Just because your tent has a "bathtub floor" does not mean that you are supposed to fill it up with water and take a bath in it.

The Weasel
09-07-2007, 13:55

- Don't drink from the spring your dog just peed in.

- When rescued, don't ask your rescuer, "What took you so long?"

- Don't pet black and white striped pussycats near shelters.

The Weasel

09-07-2007, 13:57
Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.

09-07-2007, 13:58
In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring shelter-mate.

Tipi Walter
09-07-2007, 14:06
1. Never get married.
2. Never have children.

The Weasel
09-07-2007, 14:06
Eat beans to get the entire shelter to yourself.

The Weasel

The Weasel
09-07-2007, 14:07
1. Never get married.
2. Never have children.
3. Never have a job.
4. Be born rich.

The Weasel

09-07-2007, 14:10
The number of mosquitoes at any given location is inversely proportional to the amount of repellent that remains.

The sun sets three-and-a-half times faster than normal when you're trying to set up camp.

SGT Rock
09-07-2007, 14:14
Honey is a good insect repellant.

09-07-2007, 14:19
...especially when you have all the DEET and Honey just washed her hair with Herbal Essence

Nearly Normal
09-07-2007, 23:15
When you take your dog backpacking have snappy answers when it..........

Barks aggressively........"don't worry he won't bite".
After he bites.............."he never did that before"
After crapping under the shelter table..............."aint he cute"

Nearly Normal

09-07-2007, 23:44
The probability of getting diarreah is directly proportional to the number of squares of TP you have left.