View Full Version : Billville Election Contested
Jester2000
11-08-2003, 17:16
From the local paper:
In a not unexpected move, and for the third year in a row, local evil-doer Fester has contested the results of Billville's recent mayoral election. His response when asked why: "hey, I know he's not the worst mayor ever in the history of Billville, but ninety percent of the vote? Something smells funny to me, and it's not just Tarlin's feet. Come to think of it, I haven't even seen proof that there even WAS an election."
When contacted for a response, Jester's office issued the following statement:
"Fester is evil."
Asked for a counter-response, Fester replied, "well that's neither here nor there. Did ANYONE vote for this guy? Does anyone even know where a single polling place was? We can debate whether or not I'm evil all day, but until I see some actual numbers, or at least some proof that last Tuesday SOMEBOBY voted for Jester, I'm contesting the election."
Sleepy the Arab
11-09-2003, 19:45
In a related note, Katherine Harris is moving to Billville to help clear things up. Good luck Fester!
WalkinHome
11-10-2003, 09:19
I voted for him/her at least six time (that I can remember) whoa, did you hear that noise? but I digress. Was off my medication that day (night?) so don't quite remember - GET OFF!!!! Sorry about that but they won't leave me alone here-they are always claiming that they need to adjust my restraints and things but I think (know?) that it is just an excuse to touch me. Ow, my head hurts - did someone say head???
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
Peace, love and GET OFF!!!!! Sleep now.
First of all, I assume that the interview between the local paper and Fester was conducted at night. No one has ever reported seeing Fester at night, further promoting the rumors that he is a blood-sucking malcontent.
Furthermore, I read in the gossip column that polling locations had been established in Damascus, Duncannon, Hanover, Hot Springs, and Monson. However, apaprently someone going by the name of Clamp sabotaged the polling locations so that no votes were able to be placed.
Too bad, since without a vote, the incumbent (Jester) takes the throne. I heard that Fester was leading by a 2-to-1 margin - mostly due to his open policy about loud stereos after 1 AM.
-Chomp
BTW - Fester cruises around in one of these:
http://www.worldskycat.com/markets/skyyacht.html
RedneckRye
11-10-2003, 19:16
Did the liquor option pass?
Jester2000
11-11-2003, 18:46
According to the lastest results, the vote on the liquor referendum was not even close. On the ballot the question was phrased as seen below.
Referendum question 1: Liquor?
The results were:
yes 81%
no 9%
I don't even know her 10%
RedneckRye
09-23-2005, 01:02
Isn't about time for a midterm election? Are there midterm elections? Polling places? Punch cards or some sort of electronic device or maybe just the counting of bottle caps? Proof of residency? Absentee voting? Who's running for what? I was there for the last election, but don't seem to remember many details. Was my vote actually counted or am I a dis-enfranchized Billvillian (Billvillite?)? Where is the paper trail? What is this Billville thing, and where is it anyhow???
Blue Jay
09-23-2005, 07:00
According to the lastest results, the vote on the liquor referendum was not even close. On the ballot the question was phrased as seen below.
Referendum question 1: Liquor?
The results were:
yes 81%
no 9%
I don't even know her 10%
Although I do not live in Billville, that 9% seems extremely high to me. Fester may be correct. Former President Carter has done election verification around the world. I respectfully suggest he be called.
Frolicking Dinosaurs
09-23-2005, 07:28
I was a resident of the quiet 'town' next to Billville - I'm fairly sure that both the liquor option and lack of any ban on noise at any time of the day or night options passed. :D
The Old Fhart
09-23-2005, 08:11
Chomp-"Too bad, since without a vote, the incumbent (Jester) takes the throne."If that's the case, I hope he turns on the fan and flushes twice! :D
Where are the hanging chads when you need them. Now Justice Renquist is no longer with us to save Jesters ass like he saved W's ass Jester will have to depend on Clarence Thomas. If Sandra Day O'Connor sticks around she may go with Fester. Jester, win or lose I'll see you at The Gathering. Keep on shaking babies and kising hands.
:datz :datz :datz :datz :datz :clap
TJ aka Teej
09-24-2005, 07:24
Where are the hanging chads when you need them
Fortunately, the Hanging Chads, aka Milo and the Parapackers, have been running the Blue-Blaze-Hikers-Ride-Free referendum campaign for the Wildcat Gondola in New Hampshire. Unfortunately, they've been running it in Utah.
It's amazing how things can go on for years...... If Jester is on the PCT next year - who is going to take over the office?
Nominations:
Chomp
Bag O Trix
Baltimore Jack
Funkee Monkey
Dirty Bunny
:-?
It's amazing how things can go on for years...... If Jester is on the PCT next year - who is going to take over the office?
How about Warren Doyle, as a "Reform Candidate"? :eek:
I can see it now... A Contra Dance at the '06 Winter Warmer. I can feel the love...
Blue Jay
09-27-2005, 16:38
When contacted for a response, Jester's office issued the following statement:
"Fester is evil."
This may in fact be true. The following is a direct quote from the Tom Leonard Register, dated 8/10:
"Warning - Fester has not been hiking his own hike. He has been stealing other people's hikes, hiking them and returning them soiled and tattered. Victims include Sequined Sisters, Magic Touch and To Phat. You have been warned."
It was signed, "Not Fester" so it may be a politically motivated smear campaign. If so I apologize in advance to Fester. I can't help but wonder if To Phat is any relation to Old Phart, you know same last name.
Jester2000
10-01-2005, 21:42
I was a resident of the quiet 'town' next to Billville - I'm fairly sure that both the liquor option and lack of any ban on noise at any time of the day or night options passed. :D
Hmm. Well, people 'round here don't much trust the folks from that quiet 'town' -- aka Williamstown -- ever since the incident with the 40-foot red inflatable gorilla and the flammable party favors, but to get the facts out there:
Billville voted overwhelmingly (barely overwhelmingly, admittedly, just a few votes past whelmingly) to impose a ban on noise from 8:00 am to 8:30 am, especially, but not limited to, uninvited persons in our camping area (some may recall an ugly incident two years ago right around now. . .). Mala has a special dispensation, should he feel like yelling about coffee or pancakes.
I think the big question here is: how the heck did this thread come back from the dead? Hard to say, but one thing's for certain: there is never any reason to apologize to Fester.
See you all at the gathering!