View Full Version : Turtle Riding on the AT?!?
Jester2000
09-21-2007, 18:38
Just got my copy of Appalachian Trailway News and must say that I'm disappointed in their choice of cover. It appears to be a photo of a freakishly massive turtle. Don't the editors of ATN realize that people might misconstrue this cover to mean that it's acceptable to ride huge mutant turtles on the trail, or use them as pack animals?
This trail is designed for HUMAN traffic. It can't take the erosion and (I'd imagine) enormous droppings that unnaturally enlarged turtles would create.
News to the ATN editors: it's a footpath. If you want to encourage people to ride genetically altered monster reptiles, start a magazine about a different trail, 'cause it ain't happening on the AT.
I too wish the ATC would feature hikers on the cover of the ATN!!!!
Lone Wolf
09-21-2007, 19:43
Just got my copy of Appalachian Trailway News and must say that I'm disappointed in their choice of cover. It appears to be a photo of a freakishly massive turtle. Don't the editors of ATN realize that people might misconstrue this cover to mean that it's acceptable to ride huge mutant turtles on the trail, or use them as pack animals?
This trail is designed for HUMAN traffic. It can't take the erosion and (I'd imagine) enormous droppings that unnaturally enlarged turtles would create.
News to the ATN editors: it's a footpath. If you want to encourage people to ride genetically altered monster reptiles, start a magazine about a different trail, 'cause it ain't happening on the AT.
i think the first issue since becoming a conservany featured hores-packing in the virginia highlands. they lost my membership
Jester2000
09-21-2007, 20:09
i think the first issue since becoming a conservany featured hores-packing in the virginia highlands. they lost my membership
I find nothing wrong with whores-packing, but you forgot the "w."
Encouraging turtle riding is, however, deplorable.
I find nothing wrong with whores-packing, but you forgot the "w."
The second ammendment, and all that.
Jester2000
09-21-2007, 20:40
[quote=Jester2000;411822]I find nothing wrong with whores-packing, but you forgot the "w."[quote]
The second ammendment, and all that.
No, no, no. It's illegal to pack a whore everywhere except some parts of Nevada.
The second amendment protect Lone Wolf's right to carry a gun, which he's gonna need if someone spooks a herd of these chelonian monstrosities and they, panicked, crawl ponderously towards him.
It wouldn't be pretty. Have you ever been the victim of a gigantic turtle stampede? No? Do you know why you haven't? Because they're not allowed on the AT, dammit!
Jester2000
09-21-2007, 20:43
Now that I think about it, Lone Wolf wouldn't technically have to carry the gun with him. Once the stampede started, he'd probably have time to go home, get his gun, and be back before they reached him. But still.
Lone Wolf
09-21-2007, 20:44
I find nothing wrong with whores-packing, but you forgot the "w."
Encouraging turtle riding is, however, deplorable.
my nappy headed ho's meet me at all road crossin's. i ain't packin' em in. i've been in touch with PETA who in turn will be in touch with the ATC about all these animals being exploited on the covers. poo is gonna hit the fan. conservancy my ass
Jester2000
09-21-2007, 20:53
conservancy my ass
Yeah, you know? If they really cared about the animals, they wouldn't be tacitly approving of all of the bizarre experiments necessary to get turtles large enough to ride.
And I don't want to hear anyone chiming in that Galapagos Tortoises are large enough to ride. There aren't that many of them, and they're notoriously difficult to break and take a saddle.
It's a travesty.
Hmm, could there be an article in this issue about making turtle soup that you just haven't gotten to yet?
Yeah, you know? If they really cared about the animals, they wouldn't be tacitly approving of all of the bizarre experiments necessary to get turtles large enough to ride.
And I don't want to hear anyone chiming in that Galapagos Tortoises are large enough to ride. There aren't that many of them, and they're notoriously difficult to break and take a saddle.
It's a travesty.
Much less get that bit in their mouth. Spurs? forgetaboutit, useless.....
Jester2000
09-21-2007, 21:22
Hmm, could there be an article in this issue about making turtle soup that you just haven't gotten to yet?
Naw, man. You ever try to cook a turtle as large as the freak on the cover? It looks positively gargantuan. And gamey. No, that's clearly a turtle meant for riding. Or maybe guarding campsites from incredibly slow bears. Whatever.
But you prove my point. There's already confusion as to what these turtles are for, and where they can and can't go.
Is the ATC trying to encourage the slowest assisted illegal thru-hike ever? No? Then don't put reptilian behemoths on the cover!
Jester2000
09-21-2007, 21:29
Much less get that bit in their mouth. Spurs? forgetaboutit, useless.....
A bit in the mouth? Exactly. The beak on that thing would slice your hand off if you tried, and there's no way a rider could control that thing with spurs. This is a safety issue. Who's going to tell my loved ones that while I was out hiking on what was supposed to be a footpath I got trampled in slow motion by a mutant turtle that the rider couldn't control?
There are a lot of good reasons why hulking reptilian livestock isn't allowed on the trail. I just want ATC to realize that they're sending the wrong message with that cover.
If you're reduced to eating turtle soup, the turtle beng gamey is probably no big deal. A little splash of tobasco fixes everything. Of course not many hikers other than Samwise carry a pot that big, so I'm probably a little off.
Ooh, maybe they're being trained to ferry hikers across rivers?
Jan LiteShoe
09-21-2007, 21:38
The beak on that thing would slice your hand off if you tried,
Nor would you want to go swimming with one of those babies.
:)
Lone Wolf
09-21-2007, 21:41
cindy ross is behind this s**t. gotta be. her, todd and the kids are gonna do a thru-hike of georgia on the sumbitches. should take about 4 months
Skidsteer
09-21-2007, 21:42
Nor would you want to go swimming with one of those babies.
:)
Hey Hey Heyyy!! That's not funny.
Time to break out the pitchforks and torches. And codpieces.
Jester2000
09-21-2007, 21:47
. . .A little splash of tobasco fixes everything. . . .
Ooh, maybe they're being trained to ferry hikers across rivers?
A little splash of tabasco isn't going to fix me when I get slowly crushed in possibly the most easily avoided stampede ever.
As for crossing a river on one, I'll let Jan answer that one:
Nor would you want to go swimming with one of those babies.
:)
'Cause who knows, right? You think you're fine, could've walked across, but you're livin' life high on the shell, so you're ferrying on the turtle, and WHAM! That crazily inbred genetically altered goliath has you right where he wants you -- out of your element and right into his big-beaked maw.
If ferrying is the plan, the ATC's even dumber than I thought.
Jester2000
09-21-2007, 22:41
cindy ross is behind this s**t. gotta be. her, todd and the kids are gonna do a thru-hike of georgia on the sumbitches. should take about 4 months
Hey, you know what? Fine. If Cindy feels the need to do a long distance hike with her family on these colossal brutes, she should go to the PCT, which is graded for turtles.
Plus, people out west are used to unnatural freaks (Schwartzenegger, sasquatch, Ray Jardine, etc.).
Anyway, 4 months on a turtle? The turtles would most likely die of exhaustion, but if you want to debate that, I suggest starting a thread called "4 Month Thru on a Turtle?"
This thread is about the ATN. Let's keep our outrage focused.
camojack
09-21-2007, 22:48
Hey, you know what? Fine. If Cindy feels the need to do a long distance hike with her family on these colossal brutes, she should go to the PCT, which is graded for turtles.
Plus, people out west are used to unnatural freaks (Schwartzenegger, sasquatch, Ray Jardine, etc.).
Anyway, 4 months on a turtle? The turtles would most likely die of exhaustion, but if you want to debate that, I suggest starting a thread called "4 Month Thru on a Turtle?"
This thread is about the ATN. Let's keep our outrage focused.
I still like the soup suggestion. Mmmm...snapper soup! :D
Frolicking Dinosaurs
09-21-2007, 23:11
As an oversized reptile myself, I am stunned and appalled by this cover. Ride a turtle? Oh the horror!
Not only would riding a turtle be depraved, but also it would no doubt result in a hike taking even longer than MS's hike. And then there is the matter of Katahdin and the turtle's short legs. I want photos of a turtle climbing the iron pegs.
We aren’t even going to thrash out what I think about the ghastly suggestion of having my cousin as the first course of a trail meal.
Actually, I heard from a very reliable source that these particular turtles will be relocated to Sunfish Pond to keep hikers out of the water............careful now.........
Jester2000
09-21-2007, 23:37
I notice that for some reason this thread has been moved to "Hiking Humor." What's so funny about wanting the ATN to properly represent the AT?
That this is a joke to some people is exactly the problem. Titanic mutant turtles near the trail would be a serious concern even if people WEREN'T riding them. People get their knickers all in a twist over invasive species, as if some weed from Morocco is really going to rear up and crush them. But this? This is on a whole different level.
I mean, hike your own hike and all, sure. But I refuse to share the trail with these grotesque things.
Everyone, including the ATC better take this seriously, or pretty soon there's going to be consequences -- stuck hiking for hours at turtle pace behind some monstrous beast whose shell you can't get over or around; piles of rotting hamburger meat at those scenic overlooks you used to stop for lunch at; not to mention erosion from those claws (and don't tell me the riders are using the rubber tips -- nobody uses those stupid things)
Hiking humor? It's not gonna be so funny in a couple of years, when we're all up to our necks in steaming Baltimore Jack-sized mounds of turtle poo.
camojack
09-21-2007, 23:39
We aren’t even going to thrash out what I think about the ghastly suggestion of having my cousin as the first course of a trail meal.
Trail town meal, then? :confused:
Jester2000
09-21-2007, 23:46
Trail town meal, then? :confused:
What's with this obsession about eating turtles? Jimmers brought it up originally, but I'm sure he was joking. I mean, Shark is delicious too, but no one's thinking about riding a shark on the trail.
At least not yet, anyway.
But with the editors of ATN as irresponsible as they are, there could well be a shark on the cover of the next issue.
Or some kind of weird shark/turtle hybrid.
camojack
09-21-2007, 23:48
What's with this obsession about eating turtles?
Ever had snapper soup? With lots of sherry?! Mmmm... :D
Is this the turtle?
http://usera.imagecave.com/markyannone2/YannoneBlog1/BushPostTurtle.jpg
Of course not many hikers other than Samwise carry a pot that big, so I'm probably a little off.
Easily solved. Just use the turtle's own shell as a cook pot. Then it could serve double duty as an emergency shelter as well... or a canoe... or you could use it like a dry sled for the downhills... hmmm, this might actually be the most useful item you could get...
Frolicking Dinosaurs
09-22-2007, 09:31
::: Dino bites Sly on toes for suggesting that thing is a member of the reptile family :::
Sly, is that what a post turtle looks like? I always thought they were a myth...
Yeah, you know? If they really cared about the animals, they wouldn't be tacitly approving of all of the bizarre experiments necessary to get turtles large enough to ride.
And I don't want to hear anyone chiming in that Galapagos Tortoises are large enough to ride. There aren't that many of them, and they're notoriously difficult to break and take a saddle.
It's a travesty.
There may not be that many of them....but they sure do try to keep the species goin'! . I'm sure you've been to the philly zoo. Those turtles prompted my first "birds and the bees" conversation. Come to think of it......that could explain a lot:-?
saimyoji
09-22-2007, 14:38
There may not be that many of them....but they sure do try to keep the species goin'! . I'm sure you've been to the philly zoo. Those turtles prompted my first "birds and the bees" conversation. Come to think of it......that could explain a lot:-?
You know how turtles lay 10s-100s of eggs? Well, not all those eggs have the same father, if you know what I mean. ;)
Frolicking Dinosaurs
09-22-2007, 14:58
Are you saying not only are those turtles trashing the trail, but they are pink-blazing as well? :eek:
Call in a Turtle Whisperer already, would ya?. Gheesh! :)
Hey Tripp... using it as a dry sled would involve cutting switchbacks and that is WRONG!!
Also, Saimyoji, just cause we don't like those steeenkin turtles doesn't mean you have a right to slander their morality.
Great pic of the post turtle. Thanks for the laugh....
But I do like the idea of the soup..........
Hey Tripp... using it as a dry sled would involve cutting switchbacks and that is WRONG!!
Not if you use your hiking poles as steering mechanisms :-?
Some from the west may approve of turtles on the trail.
Some from the west may approve of turtles on the trail.
While I don't want to hike with a turtle, I like the way the trails have to be switchbacked for turtle-packers. No more rock scrambles! A new direction for the AT!
The Weasel
09-23-2007, 16:08
Frankly, the legal implications of all of this are so staggering that I'm not sure any of you are capable of comprehending them, so I won't bother mentioning them. But you all had better be very careful about the potatoes.
The Weasel
Damn potatoes have eyes, everywhere.
Miss Janet
09-23-2007, 17:01
I think this terrapin... not a turtle at all... is native to the Appalachians. I just didn't know that got so dang BIG! I guess with their camo they can lay around in the woods and you might hike right past them and not see them. I don't know about you all but I am going to be really observant the next time I go off the trail to see a man about a dog. Who's afraid of bears??? These things are a lot more scary! I wonder if there is an emerging market for Turtle Bells??
The Weasel
09-23-2007, 17:56
Damn potatoes have eyes, everywhere.
YOU DOLT!!!!! Not on the inside! What are you thinking? And do you have to tell EVERYone? Sheesh.
TW
Dolt? I far prefer knothead.
Jester2000
09-25-2007, 00:35
Okay, I can see that we've gotten seriously off track here. It's okay -- when you become a member of whiteblaze you have to accept the fact that almost every thread is eventually going to lead into discussions of turtle sex or potatoes, or turtles having sex with potatoes.
But I would urge everyone to contact the Editors of ATN and voice your displeasure with the whole turtle riding controversy that has been stirred up by this cover, not only because something has to be done about this very important issue, but also because the confused silence coming to you across the phone lines will have worth without measure.
Say "NO!" to Turtle Riding on the AT!
Frolicking Dinosaurs
09-25-2007, 06:56
I must protest this mashing of potatoes by turtles. I believe the UN should send overseers to the AT to protect the turtles from would be riders and the potatoes from abuse by turtles.
The Weasel
09-25-2007, 11:25
*** when you become a member of whiteblaze you have to accept the fact that almost every thread is eventually going to lead into discussions of turtle sex or potatoes, or turtles having sex with potatoes.
Or cheese.
By the way, it's not "potatoes". Whoe aree youe, Dane Quayle? It's "potatos". Or "cheese."
TW
Okay, I can see that we've gotten seriously off track here. It's okay -- when you become a member of whiteblaze you have to accept the fact that almost every thread is eventually going to lead into discussions of turtle sex or potatoes, or turtles having sex with potatoes.
But I would urge everyone to contact the Editors of ATN and voice your displeasure with the whole turtle riding controversy that has been stirred up by this cover, not only because something has to be done about this very important issue, but also because the confused silence coming to you across the phone lines will have worth without measure.
Say "NO!" to Turtle Riding on the AT!
When does that T-Shirt come out???
Or cheese.
By the way, it's not "potatoes". Whoe aree youe, Dane Quayle? It's "potatos". Or "cheese."
TW
chuckle...hmmm....no: "potatoes" source: dictionary.com
po·ta·to /Pronunciation Key (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/) - Show Spelled Pronunciation (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/)[puh-tey-toh, -tuh]Pronunciation Key (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/) - Show IPA Pronunciation (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/)
–noun, plural -toes.
Maybe Dan wasn't so dumb, after all! ;)
The Weasel
09-25-2007, 15:08
chuckle...hmmm....no: "potatoes" source: dictionary.com
po·ta·to /Pronunciation Key (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/) - Show Spelled Pronunciation (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/)[puh-tey-toh, -tuh]Pronunciation Key (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/) - Show IPA Pronunciation (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/)
–noun, plural -toes.
Maybe Dan wasn't so dumb, after all! ;)
And maybe he was a total braindead idiot, too, but one who could spell sometimes. But I think not, as to either, although perhaps he could spell "cheese".
TW
That picture was taken before the effects of global warming kicked in.
They now look like this (with credits to Sleepy the Arab and the WB photo gallery)
Jester2000
09-25-2007, 19:58
Or cheese.
By the way, it's not "potatoes". Whoe aree youe, Dane Quayle? It's "potatos". Or "cheese."
TW
Nope. I'm not Dan Quayle, although I did used to read the Arizona Republic. And I spelled potatoes correctly, as befits my heritage.
But that's hardly the point here. And Rickb's post regarding turtle size is also irrelevant. A couple of years ago Mr. Clean tried to do a one year southbound hike with smaller sized turtles strapped to each feet. You know what that got him? Stuck in New Jersey with fallen arches.
Regardless of size, turtle-aided thru-hikes are a terrible idea.
The Weasel
09-25-2007, 21:15
Umm, Jester, I need to clarify something:
Are you a turtle?
TW
Jester2000
09-25-2007, 23:17
Umm, Jester, I need to clarify something:
Are you a turtle?
TW
You know, I see what you're angling for here, and I'm not going to give you what you want.
For those who have never studied logic, The Weasel is trying to set me up for an Argumentum Ad Hominem Circumstantial attack, a fallacy that states that the opponent's argument can be dismissed because he is disposed to make the argument based on his circumstances.
I refuse to take the bait, even if it is composed of delicious raw hamburger! My opinion regarding the cover of the ATN is correct regardless of whether or not I am a turtle!
PS -- my teacher, who was not a turtle, referred to this kind of fallacy as a bulverism.
The Weasel
09-25-2007, 23:24
You know, I see what you're angling for here, and I'm not going to give you what you want.
For those who have never studied logic, The Weasel is trying to set me up for an Argumentum Ad Hominem Circumstantial attack, a fallacy that states that the opponent's argument can be dismissed because he is disposed to make the argument based on his circumstances.
I refuse to take the bait, even if it is composed of delicious raw hamburger! My opinion regarding the cover of the ATN is correct regardless of whether or not I am a turtle!
PS -- my teacher, who was not a turtle, referred to this kind of fallacy as a bulverism.
Umm, ahh, aw, gee, Jester. You've been nice to me. But I was just asking, "Are you a turtle?" and you didn't say you were, much less as another esteemed member of the Fraternal Alliance of Real Turtles would, to another Turtle, with the ritual smirk as you intoned, "YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS I AM!" As a long-standing (well, squatting, yeah) member of FART, I hate to break it to you, but you owe a beer to everyone near us. I think, in this electronic age, that means pretty much everyone on WhiteBlaze. As of last night, that was about 14,000 people, as Jack took pride (for some reason) in telling me.
Perhaps Wolf can arrange for that much beer. I'm not sure if we should do it at Trail Days next year. Perhaps you could provide it at the Gathering, and tell everyone that I made it possible? The reaction to that would be fascinating.
http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/palms/1396/turtle.html
The Weasel
Skidsteer
09-25-2007, 23:25
...PS -- my teacher, who was not a turtle, referred to this kind of fallacy as a bulverism...
Oh, that made my day....:D
[quote=Jester2000;414270]PS -- my teacher, who was not a turtle...quote]
You mean, Master Splinter, the rat.
camojack
09-26-2007, 06:49
OK, I finally got around to looking at the latest issue of ATN, and saw the turtle.
(Have you seen the turtle?)
It's actually a fricasseein' turtle, not a soup turtle. Oh, well... :(
Jester2000
10-02-2007, 21:57
When does that T-Shirt come out???
No T-Shirts yet, as I have yet to find a manufacturer who will guarantee that the shirts will be made of 100% turtle-free materials. Most of them seem really confused at first.
Then they hang up on me.
The Weasel
10-02-2007, 21:59
No T-Shirts yet, as I have yet to find a manufacturer who will guarantee that the shirts will be made of 100% turtle-free materials. Most of them seem really confused at first.
Then they hang up on me.
One more try: Jester, Are You A Turtle?
TW
Jester2000
10-09-2007, 10:12
Just got back from the Gathering, where, disappointingly, there were no Discussion Groups on the program to address the issue of Turtle Riding on long distance trails. I tried to corner Brian King, but he was as wily and elusive as ever.
But sooner or later everyone's going to have to start paying attention. Those turtles aren't getting smaller.
Note to those who didn't attend: Whiteblazers who were there can confirm that, at least to the casual observer, I do not appear to be a turtle.
camojack
10-09-2007, 10:21
Just got back from the Gathering, where, disappointingly, there were no Discussion Groups on the program to address the issue of Turtle Riding on long distance trails. I tried to corner Brian King, but he was as wily and elusive as ever.
But sooner or later everyone's going to have to start paying attention. Those turtles aren't getting smaller.
Note to those who didn't attend: Whiteblazers who were there can confirm that, at least to the casual observer, I do not appear to be a turtle.
Oh, I dunno...there is something of a resemblance to a terrapin. :-?
But seriously, as a member of the ALDHA Board, you could've instigated such a Discussion Group. You are an instigater, after all.
But we still luv ya... :D
Lone Wolf
10-09-2007, 10:25
Just got back from the Gathering, where, disappointingly, there were no Discussion Groups on the program to address the issue of Turtle Riding on long distance trails. I tried to corner Brian King, but he was as wily and elusive as ever.
But sooner or later everyone's going to have to start paying attention. Those turtles aren't getting smaller.
Note to those who didn't attend: Whiteblazers who were there can confirm that, at least to the casual observer, I do not appear to be a turtle.
if a discussion does come up next year, don't let laurie p. do any drawings on the chalk board
dixicritter
10-09-2007, 10:30
Note to those who didn't attend: Whiteblazers who were there can confirm that, at least to the casual observer, I do not appear to be a turtle.
You definately don't walk like one. ;)
Gray Blazer
10-09-2007, 10:40
One more try: Jester, Are You A Turtle?
TW
In a way, we are all mocking turtles when we hike and carry our shelters on our back. That makes us mock turtles.:o
taildragger
10-09-2007, 11:04
I know this might be considered heresy, maybe even thread drift, but what if I were to get a walking catfish and attempt a thru on the trail. This would be a great peice of gear. If said fish "breaks" its time to whip out the swiss army knife, fillet him, and have a nice fish fry on the trail.
And PS, those turtles have been fleeing the Cajuns since the 1800's, due to their persecution. They were nearly hunted to extinction during the "Great Gumbo Wars", they have been seeking refuge in the Appalachias. I think the only real way to make sure that the trail stays giant turtle free is to release a few cajuns, there will be no turtles in just a few weeks. Unfortunately there will be a higher risk for running into people cooking delicious stews out of 'possum on the trail....
Stonewall
10-09-2007, 19:00
So i just recieved the latest copy, and was quiet confused by it, but now that I found the this thread I understand a little better. (here is the copy I recieved)
Note to those who didn't attend: Whiteblazers who were there can confirm that, at least to the casual observer, I do not appear to be a turtle.
While I agree to the casual observer Jester may not have looked like a turtle, also to the casual observer there appeared to be a troll wondering around camp. It seems very possible that Jester is in fact a turtle in disguise. He did appear to show some turtle like characteristics. Also I saw him stop his tour to save a turtle trying to cross the road on the battlefield, showing his great turtle sympathies, perhaps due to the fact he is one himself.
Stonewall
10-09-2007, 22:41
duplicate post....
The Weasel
10-09-2007, 23:44
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Weasel http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/wb_style/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?p=418396#post418396)
One more try: Jester, Are You A Turtle?
TW
In a way, we are all mocking turtles when we hike and carry our shelters on our back. That makes us mock turtles.:o
MORE FREE BEER FOR EVERYONE!
TW
:)
In honor of this thread, I moved a turtle off the road today. I feel better now.
Jester2000
10-10-2007, 21:28
So i just recieved the latest copy, and was quiet confused by it, but now that I found the this thread I understand a little better. (here is the copy I recieved)
For those of you who have, up until this point, been unconcerned about the whole issue, you really need to click on Stonewall's thumbnail and peruse the whole cover up close.
Despite the location of this thread in the humor forum, it's no joke.
Well, my theory has changed.....this IS a serious issue. After careful observation at the Gathering......I belive that our beloved Jester is a SPY!!! Yes, you heard me...a spy!!!
I have recently discovered the exsistence of an underground group or militant turtles. They fell that the hiking communtiy has robbed them of their turtlely pride. That in the way we live and travel, we are depriving from them their very culture!!! They used to shine as natures Hobos.....now, people will say. Ah, I guess turtles are really like hikers!!! Moving slow, carrying their life on their back, smelling funny...eating garbage (only certian factions of the hikers fall into this group)....I guess I can see their point.
Anyway, it appears that Jester is in with this rouge group of reptiles.....careful what you say or 2008 hiking season may become the "Year of the Killer Turtles"
Uncle Silly
10-11-2007, 13:11
In a way, we are all mocking turtles when we hike and carry our shelters on our back. That makes us mock turtles.:o
So does that mean mock turtle soup is made of hikers??
twosticks
10-11-2007, 14:56
Frankly, the legal implications of all of this are so staggering that I'm not sure any of you are capable of comprehending them, so I won't bother mentioning them. But you all had better be very careful about the potatoes.
The Weasel
I don't know why, but I love it. Those damn potatoes....
Frolicking Dinosaurs
10-11-2007, 19:45
.... an underground group of militant turtles. They fell that the hiking communtiy has robbed them of their turtlely pride. That in the way we live and travel, we are depriving from them their very culture!!! They used to shine as natures Hobos.....now, people will say. Ah, I guess turtles are really like hikers!!! Moving slow, carrying their life on their back, smelling funny...eating garbage (only certian factions of the hikers fall into this group)....I guess I can see their point...... this rouge group of reptiles.....:::: Prune-faced Dino cast icy glance at Wonder for discussing her cousins in negative terms :D ::::
I think we need to build a big fence to keep turtles off the AT. Some might think this will be an expensive boondoggle that won't work anyway (islands like Great Britain are infested with turtles), but we have to do something!
SGT Rock
10-12-2007, 07:43
I'm not going to ride a turtle, but I plan to get two of those big ones for pack animals.
I figure no only will I get out of carrying all that stuff, they will also force me to slow down and enjoy myself.
Johnny Thunder
10-12-2007, 09:16
So does that mean mock turtle soup is made of hikers??
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEEEEEOOOOOOOPPPPPLLLLEEEE
Jan LiteShoe
10-12-2007, 09:34
So i just recieved the latest copy, and was quiet confused by it, but now that I found the this thread I understand a little better. (here is the copy I recieved)
That's too funny.
What did we do for laughs before Photoshop?
Jester2000
10-19-2007, 23:27
I'm not going to ride a turtle, but I plan to get two of those big ones for pack animals.
I can't recommend this. With your early start date, and considering that turtles are cold-blooded, you're going to have a hard time keeping them. . .
Aw, man. See what just happened? Rock totally screwed me here. He got me talking about logistics when I'm advocating zero tolerance.
No turtles on the trail. Not for riding or as pack animals. Be firm, people. (T-Shirts coming soon. . .)
No turtles on the trail. Not for riding or as pack animals. Be firm, people. (T-Shirts coming soon. . .)
Hmm, I see a huge and unexpected market for these t-shirts.
Be Firm, People. Viagra would love it. Or maybe those trendy shops that sell playboy merchandise and other inappropriate clothes to tween-agers?:-?
I'm not going to ride a turtle, but I plan to get two of those big ones for pack animals.
I figure no only will I get out of carrying all that stuff, they will also force me to slow down and enjoy myself.
turtles are to slow, donkeys are big and stubborn, dogs are good if you have one and is well trained, i think the perfect solution is this--> http://www.highuintapackgoats.com/ they eat grass and produce fresh milk ;):D
RadioFreq
10-25-2007, 21:10
turtles are too slow, donkeys are big and stubborn, dogs are good if you have one and is well trained, i think the perfect solution is this--> http://www.highuintapackgoats.com/ they eat grass and produce fresh milk ;):D
These people may support LNT principles but it's obvious the goats don't. That first picture showing the little green tufts of grass is proof positive of previous goat packs practicing their version of LNT.
Now turtles, on the other hand, are great practitioners of LNT. The even apply it to their act of giving birth. But don't try to ride one while that is taking place.....that would just be bad form. :mad:
hikerboy57
11-06-2013, 00:13
i never realized the effects of oversized turtles could have on the trail
hikerboy57
11-06-2013, 00:26
They do make a nice soupdo you have any good turtle soup recipes?
do you have any good turtle soup recipes?
Depends on the size of the turtle?
Did you know that in the dark ages they would use turtles to destroy castles. They would dig a tunnel under the castle and stuff the tunnel full of turtles and set them on fire. The turtle fat would burn so hot the castle would collapse. Then the victors would pick through the rubble and eat the turtle in celebration. After moving to New England they transitioned to using lobsters instead of turtles and we got the New England lobster bake.
hikerboy57
11-06-2013, 00:36
Depends on the size of the turtle?
Did you know that in the dark ages they would use turtles to destroy castles. They would dig a tunnel under the castle and stuff the tunnel full of turtles and set them on fire. The turtle fat would burn so hot the castle would collapse. Then the victors would pick through the rubble and eat the turtle in celebration. After moving to New England they transitioned to using lobsters instead of turtles and we got the New England lobster bake.so thats what happened to all the new england castles
Train Wreck
11-06-2013, 00:41
..............
24736
I never knew that there used to be castles in New England :confused:. I learn something new on here every day! Thanks Whiteblaze!
Sand castles
coach lou
11-06-2013, 09:14
24737 nothing wrong with a little goat packing..........we could have cheesecake all week!
Another Kevin
11-06-2013, 09:23
Sounds like me on the trail.
http://dirtyclassroom.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Tim-turtle-snail.jpg
Come on people, if you don't have any actual turtle riding experience you should keep your comments to yourself...
Oh sorry, I keep seeing things like that in the thru hiker forum and I got carried away.
Non turtle riders can have valuable input too.
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk
Train Wreck
11-06-2013, 13:24
Depends on the size of the turtle?
Did you know that in the dark ages they would use turtles to destroy castles. They would dig a tunnel under the castle and stuff the tunnel full of turtles and set them on fire. The turtle fat would burn so hot the castle would collapse. Then the victors would pick through the rubble and eat the turtle in celebration. After moving to New England they transitioned to using lobsters instead of turtles and we got the New England lobster bake.
Sounds like something that should be reported to PETA.
Come on people, if you don't have any actual turtle riding experience you should keep your comments to yourself...
Oh sorry, I keep seeing things like that in the thru hiker forum and I got carried away.
Non turtle riders can have valuable input too.
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk
she has turtle riding experience
24738
Is that a turtle or a tortoise? It does make a difference I'm told. I wouldn't know for sure, I'm just a weekend section hiker :)
I did ride a tortoise once when I was 5, but this is about turtles so I'll defer to the experts on this one.
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk
Is that a turtle or a tortoise? It does make a difference I'm told. I wouldn't know for sure, I'm just a weekend section hiker :)
I did ride a tortoise once when I was 5, but this is about turtles so I'll defer to the experts on this one.
Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk
Tortoises always look like they need some moisturizing lotion.
rocketsocks
01-10-2017, 00:32
Once I saw a turtle with two heads, one at each end, one winked and one stinked.
Is this like, the zombie thread apocalypse?
rocketsocks
01-10-2017, 00:36
Is this like, the zombie thread apocalypse?worse, it's real!
HHHHAAAAAAhahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where is the crying emoji when you need it?! :clap
Sarcasm the elf
03-04-2022, 14:08
I've just received unconfirmed reports of hikers riding zebra/turtle hybrids or "Zertles" on trail this year. I'm becoming concerned that the Appalachian Trail Conference is not yet addressing this issue.
LazyLightning
03-04-2022, 16:58
man I can't believe I missed that part of the trail on that nice sand beach!