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Kirby
10-03-2007, 21:31
I have to do a presentation on my Appalachian Trail hike at shool pretty soon, I would like to start the presentation with a poem about the AT that non-hikers would see the humor in, but all AT humor poems are welcome because I will understand them, and so will a vast majority of people on this site, just maybe not non-hikers.

Kirby

Skidsteer
10-03-2007, 21:39
I have to do a presentation on my Appalachian Trail hike at shool pretty soon, I would like to start the presentation with a poem about the AT that non-hikers would see the humor in, but all AT humor poems are welcome because I will understand them, and so will a vast majority of people on this site, just maybe not non-hikers.

Kirby

Oh boy. This oughta be good.

Kirby, you might want to give some moral direction here as to content of the poems and the age of the intended audience. Fair warning...:p

Kirby
10-03-2007, 21:41
Audience:high school students.

All poems are welcome, but I am looking for clean poems, no sexual content or references to illegal substances, ciggarettes, or alcohol. I would not be allowed to use it, although I will still read it for my own humor. the poems have to clear my principals inspection before a presentation, that should give you a good guideline as to what I need.

Kirby

Appalachian Tater
10-03-2007, 21:57
Kirby, I don't know of any humorous hiking poems but you should see this website if you haven't already: http://www.ediblegear.com/

There is this forum here:
http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=119

And these quotes, some of which are humorous:
http://www.americantrails.org/quotes1.html#Humor

It includes this quote:

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-five now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.

—ELLEN DEGENERES

Frosty
10-03-2007, 22:13
Not particularly humorous, but it can be sung to the tune of Ode to Joy:

Come and sing this song of trail
Of wood and mountains glorius
Sing this song of blazes white
In mountains appalacious

Hiker voices pray for sunshine
Heaven sends them sleet and rain
Still they sing this song of joy
In Mountains Appalachian


Couple of Beatles tunes re-done to fit the AT that I at least intended to be humorous:

Hey, Dude, Pack out your trash
Take this shelter, and make it better
Remember to pack out all of your junk
Then you can say you've made it better.

Hey Dude, Pack out your trash.
LEAVE NO TRACE is the code you live by
The minute you pack out what you pack in,
Then you begin to make it better.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Dude, refrain
You carry your world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a punk who leaves his junk
So making his world a little colder
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah

Hey Dude, don't let me down
I have found trash, I hope it's not yours
Remember to take it out to the road
Then you can start to make it better.

So let's pack out what you pack in, hey Dude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
But don't you know that it's just you, hey Dude, you'll do
The trashbag you need is on your shoulder
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah yeah

Hey Dude, don't make it bad
Take a shelter and make it better
Remember to pack out what you pack in
Then you'll begin to make it
Better better better better better better, oh

Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
Nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah, hey Jude
(repeated ad nauseum)



It's been a hard day's hike,
And I've been sweating like a hog
It's been a hard days hike,
I should be sleeping like a log
I have to get to the road,
So I can take off my load
To make me feel alright.

You know I hike all day
After a zero to make up ground.
And it's worth it just to know I can say
I'm gonna hitch-hike into town

So why on earth should I groan
I'll have a TV and phone
You know I'll feel okay

When in town, everything seems to be right
When in town, spending the whole blessed night
night, yeah

It's been a hard days hike,
I should be sleeping like a log
I have to get to the road,
So I can take off my load
To make me feel alright.

You know I hike all day
After a zero to make up ground.
And it's worth it just to know I can say
I'm gonna hitch-hike into town

(fading out)
So why on earth should I groan
I'll have a TV and phone
You know I'll feel okay

veteran
10-03-2007, 23:10
The text version of beer poets 'rainy day poem' (http://www.readingonline.org/newliteracies/rush/poem.html)

Auntie Mame
10-04-2007, 21:11
Frosty, Those are hilarious! Mame

hopefulhiker
10-04-2007, 21:14
There was one about Ramon noodles written by a thru hiker.. that got Slate.com worst poem award...

minnesotasmith
10-05-2007, 00:59
Someone posted this in a VA register:

Trail comes to a fork
Virginia did not blaze it
flip a coin and pray

I wrote this one:

The Appalachian Trail

Rocky ups and downs
it's supposed to have flat parts
I've seen maybe two

warraghiyagey
10-05-2007, 01:01
More Haiku than poems I would say.

Nightwalker
10-05-2007, 04:05
More Haiku than poems I would say.

But not too shabby.

MOWGLI
10-05-2007, 07:35
"Ode to my Nipples" from the Full Goose Shelter in 2000 is still my all time favorite. I wish I'd copied it down.

Furlough
10-05-2007, 07:40
Kirby,
Check out Gatorgumps Trail Journal from this year. He re-wrote the lyrics to some popular songs to capture the moment on the AT. Also check Zero's trail journal. I believe it was a very recent entry (early Oct) where he re-wrote the lyrics to Hank Williams "All My Rowdy Friends" to express his views of the moment.

Furough

Flush2wice
10-05-2007, 10:37
The poem commemorating the the death of the man who invented Ramen Noodles won Slate.com's worst poem contest. It was written by Rhymin' Worm who is an AT hiker. I lifted it from their site:

The grand prize winner of Slate's Bad Poetry Contest (http://www.slate.com/id/2171900/nav/navoa/), the only entry to win four out of four votes from our judges, goes to rhymworm for his epically awful elegy to the recently deceased inventor of Ramen noodles, "Arigato, Momofuku (http://fray.slate.com/discuss/forums/thread/210102.aspx):"

I.
He softened up after the winter solstice:
The springs were icy, the ridgelines almost deserted,
And snowdrifts filled corners of the hiking shelters;
The LCDs froze in the glass of each GPS display.
Our mileage tables tend to agree:
His last day on earth was a zero day.
Far from the test kitchens
Purists trudged south past the blue-blazed shortcuts
And hostel-keepers allowed the old year's air to clear;
By hiking-boot tongues
The death of the noodle king was kept from his soups.
But for Ando-san present and future now were pasta,
Steeped in MSG and savory broth;
The cellophane lost air-tightness,
The desiccated brick began to moisten,
Dampness invaded the packaging,
The starch lost its stiffness; he became his flavor varieties.
Now he waits on shelves in a hundred trail towns,
Wholly given over to odd combinations--
Slathered with peanut butter, perhaps,
Or sautéed with a mess of spring ramps.
The carbs of a dead man
Are modified in the guts of the living.
But in the thru-hike plans of tomorrow,
When gear salesmen are demonstrating the newest ultra-light cookstove,
And post offices stack the duct-taped boxes
to which they have become mostly resigned,
And each thru-hiker imagines himself alone atop a ridge,
A few wanderers may recall this day
As one recalls a day when one left something at the previous shelter.
Our registers all agree:
His last day on earth was a zero day.
II.
You hungered as we do; your dream transcended ours:
Deep-fried noodles, made permeable in palm oil,
Then dried-lightweight, calorific; just add water.
Now hikers have oatmeal and their ramen too,
For noodles simply keep one going, enduring
To the next town stop, or maildrop, where gourmands
Would never think to pause; starchy strands
One carries past bears and shelter mice, or eats
Raw in hostels when low on cash; surviving,
Sure of something they will fill-a mouth.
III.
Dirt, receive a soupy mess:
Ando-san is laid to rest.
Let the camp stove cookware be
Emptied of its noodlery.
'Round the fire-ring in the dark
All the trail dogs pant and bark.
There some camping party waits,
Freeze-dried omelets on their plates;
Palpable is their disdain:
Noodles? No, they will not deign;
Their food's from an outdoors store
(Packets paid twelve dollars for).
Hikers, though, don't find it strange
To fill up for two bits and change.
(In fact it's truly not uncommon
to hike for days, just eating ramen;
Those who walk and persevere
Have to save their cash for gear.)
Who cares if the trans-fats mount?
Bless that high caloric count!
Momofuku, go in peace
Be at ease in your release:
Most men slurp, so few men chew;
Hikers will remember you.

Flush2wice
10-05-2007, 10:47
There's also this link that was provided by TJ akaTeej.
http://www.path-at.org/archives/ballad.html

Gray Blazer
10-05-2007, 11:38
Frosty, Those are hilarious! Mame

Auntie Mame....have you heard the poem....How bleak was my puberty in Appalachia.....as performed by Agnes?:D