View Full Version : cutting to the chase

10-09-2007, 13:18
The first time a friend and I spent time alone together was on a hike 5 years ago on a trail at Skyline Drive. One year later we were married. Getting to know each other revolved around the many day hikes we shared in our year of dating - not popcorn, not at the movies...but hiking in the beauty of the woods where everything important is tangible. So the "trail" is part of who we are as a couple. My husband was introduced to the AT years before we met. He started telling me about it and the idea was very appealing. So we've been dreaming about how nice it would be to take on the challenges of the AT as a couple...really focus on what the future holds for us during that time and where we fit into the scheme of things. We've been buying and testing gear over the past four years, continuing day hikes, doing a few overnights, searching info on line, reading books. Now it looks like we may be able to hike the AT in '08...and a part of me is getting "cold feet"! I could list all the things that are making the reality a little scary (hence, "timid_pass") like leaving family, job and home behind and the uncertainty of what that means when we return...new job? new home? where? :o

Any thoughts? I know I posted this under Female Forums...but a male perspective would also be appreciated. (Did anyone go through this with their wife? What was your response and what was the outcome?) I think it's VERY important to support your spouse in pursuing their passions...and this is an oportunity for me to support my husband in pursuing a dream. One that's very important to him. It's just that this support requires a lot of change. It isn't quite like supporting him in a hobby or something that happens while "regular life" continues. Does that make sense? But, I love hiking too!...I love how awesome it feels to realize that all you really need in this life (as far as possessions are concerned) can be carried on your back! And to share that with someone you love is awesome! (Especially when they know exactly what you're talking about - they understand that "simplistic" freedom.)

I guess the part that has kind of shaken me a little is that for us to hike the AT we have to give up home and job. Literally. But what blind-sided me is that I didn't think I would give it a second thought! In fact I knew that would have to be part of the plan for us to be able to do it. I'm actually a pretty spontaneous person! And I've never thought of myself as someone attached to "things". So in a way I'm kind of confused by my response to the news that we can go in '08. :o Shouldn't I be dancin'!?! Ha, is there a psychiatrist in the house?

10-09-2007, 13:48
Welcome to a fellow Virginian.

I think it's great that you have the opportunty to hike as a couple. I met several hiking couples on the trail this year - they were wonderful to watch. And at times I really missed my hubby.

It's very typical to have doubts, to wonder if this is right, to get cold feet every once in a while. But if this is a dream, something you have wanted to do, it will override everything. It's like having bridal shakes, I guess. Boy you want to marry that guy, but there are sometimes those nagging little doubts, which can feel ridiculous. Maybe these are AT shakes now, :) It's a big step, a step into the unknown for sure, as much as stepping onto the AT for the first time (boy were we nervous that day! And everything was going wrong, too. But we kept going. There was no turning back. Esp for me.).

All I can say is, if it looks like things are working out for you to go, then by all means go. Life has a way of slammng doors in your face if it's not meant to be. But if the doors are opening, go through them and take a hike!

10-09-2007, 14:33
A marriage that makes it through a thru hike is bound to be a very strong one .

Go for it, what a great opporunity now, before you have children, too many dogs, cats, mortgages, excuses, etc. There are many who would envy your place in life, and the fact that your husband wants to join you . :)

10-09-2007, 15:30
Well...it's true, there are no dogs and cats. Can't say the same about mortgages and children! :) My youngest graduates early from highschool this January. So of course those dynamics are playing into the scenrio. But my girl is a great person and has plans after she graduates. So I know she'll be fine. And there are many more homes for another day after the sale of our current one. And you're right....it's great that my husband and I both can share this experience together. I'm sure there are many husbands and wives who would think the other one was crazy to even suggest a 6 month hike! Thanks for the encouragement!

Blissful? Thanks for your encouragment too!