View Full Version : I Failed 2007
I have not posted since the spring of 2007. I dreamed of thru hiking the trail in 2007 when I retired. I just turned 55 yesterday and I feel like I failed in life, I quit after 5 days, at Neels Gap. I have a wife who loves me after 36 yrs and two grandkids who love me and a carier that people respected me for. So why do I need to proof (speling is very bad so deal with it)to me that I need to walk to Maine. The dream is still there but I dought who I am. I need to walk in the wood to find my self. If I can't come here. where do i go for those who have been there? My life has been great and I have been happy with who I am. So why do I feel like I have failed me?
Lone Wolf
10-09-2007, 13:25
it's just a trail. you failed nothing. you went for a walk in the woods and went home a little early.
Jack Tarlin
10-09-2007, 13:26
Sounds to me like you've had a great life. A healthy and happy family is much more important than finishing a hiking trail, and if you've got the former, then don't worry over-much about the latter. That being said, you have plenty of time to give it another go, and when you decide to do so, let us know. This is a great place to ask questions, to discover new things, and to improve your knowledge of what the Trail is really like.
But failure? Nope.
The only failures are the ones who never even dare to try.
SGT Rock
10-09-2007, 13:26
Yes the scoreboard didn't change on you. We are all section hikers.
Blissful
10-09-2007, 13:34
Maybe the time isn't right yet for that dream. Or it may just be different from other hikers. Maybe you're the one who will do the AT a section at a time. You just began the trail this year is all. The inaugural hike, so to speak. You can go on from there. That isn't a failure but a beginning. I admire greatly section hikers and their tenacity to get out there and go, short or long, a piece at a time. If you ask me, that's much harder than a thru. I have met people that have been sectioning for 15 years. One chunk at a time. It's great. But it's the journey, after all. Your journey. Long or short, one mile or twenty. No one else's.
I know how it feels, lacbe. Really! For me, "finishing" took 17 years. The trail will be there when you're ready for it. I found it to be more manageable and enjoyable in short(er) sections.
Footslogger
10-09-2007, 13:48
I have not posted since the spring of 2007. I dreamed of thru hiking the trail in 2007 when I retired. I just turned 55 yesterday and I feel like I failed in life, I quit after 5 days, at Neels Gap. I have a wife who loves me after 36 yrs and two grandkids who love me and a carier that people respected me for. So why do I need to proof (speling is very bad so deal with it)to me that I need to walk to Maine. The dream is still there but I dought who I am. I need to walk in the wood to find my self. If I can't come here. where do i go for those who have been there? My life has been great and I have been happy with who I am. So why do I feel like I have failed me?
==============================
Count your blessings ...of which it sounds you have many.
The trail will always be there. You did more in 5 days than many people I know will ever do or attempt to do in their entire lives.
'Slogger
Maybe what you're after is a journey that lasts a lifetime, rather than a journey of a lifetime. Each is good in its own way.
There may be better ways for you to experience the A.T. Explore them. It called you once. It may call you back again.
SGT Rock
10-09-2007, 13:51
I think this gets into expectation management buddy. You had a dream that may not be exactly what you expected. In the Army we have a saying: "Fight the enemy, not the plan". This basically means you make a plan before you make contact with something then after that you will probably have to totally change the plan because nothing is ever exacly like we plan it to be.
You made a plan based on what you thought you could do or wanted to do. It turns out when you hit the trail you were smart enough to change the plan when required. Do an AAR (After Action Review) and decide what the new plan should be based on what you learned - don't go back and try the same plan over again and don't feel like a failure if it didn't work the way you had it planned.
You plan could be to try again later in a different way, it could be to become a trail bum and hike the sections you want to hike when you have the time, it could be you want to become a trail angle or maintainer and help others live their dreams and be happy with that - or a combination of all the above.
A loving family, a career that you are proud of and some memories that are great. You failed nothing my friend.
Thru-hiking is not 'the end all and be all" of enjoying the outdoors.
Go for some day hikes or weekend backpacks. Maybe trail work will be just as satisfying for you.
Nature is a wonderful thing. And there are many wonderful, satisfying and different ways of enjoying it.
Thank you for your concerns. But I need to still find who I am. Right now, I still need to find out who I am. You have all finished the trail. I envey that. You know what you are, and why you finished your hikes. Me, I still need to see what the future holds for me. Thank you. For listening to someone who still has (THE DREAM) of finding ones self on the trail.
KirkMcquest
10-09-2007, 13:56
DON'T GIVE UP!! It was only your first try. This percieved failure may help bolster your resolve for your next attempt.P.S why did you quit? Was it physical? Or when you got out there, did you feel that it wasn't what you thought it was going to be? Did you get lonesome? Figuring this out will help you tweak your game next time.
cannonball
10-09-2007, 13:56
Every time I go out to section hike the AT I drive hundreds of miles and then walk, er trudge and cuss, up and down mountains only to find that what I really seek is in my own living room.
Two Speed
10-09-2007, 13:57
Lacbe, wondered where you'd been hiding. :welcome back!
I had two surgeries Jan 17, and tried to hike 8 weeks latterer( MY SPELING IS REAL BAD, SORRY). I was sure I could do it. Not to smart for an old man. But what is, is what is. I will try again, but with MORE DETERMINATION.
Lone Wolf
10-09-2007, 14:05
But I need to still find who I am. Right now, I still need to find out who I am. You have all finished the trail. I envey that. You know what you are, and why you finished your hikes. Me, I still need to see what the future holds for me. Thank you. For listening to someone who still has (THE DREAM) of finding ones self on the trail.
thru-hikers rarely "find" themselves on the trail. they usually find they're tired, hungry, sore and thirsty. some find themselves back out the following year doing another hike. the AT ain't a magic cure, just a walking trail. fantasy and reality are two different things
Gray Blazer
10-09-2007, 14:11
I've never finished the trail. I haven't even half started. I've never been to Springer(me
Gray Blazer
10-09-2007, 14:16
I've never finished the trail. I haven't even half started. I've never been to Springer(me
I hit some button by accident. As I was saying my brother and I started for Springer one time and got lost (another story). I hope you find out who you are, but, don't go measuring by this yardstick. I'd love to do Springer to Neel's Gap someday. I can't answer your question. You have to answer it for yourself. Keep hiking.
leep frog
10-09-2007, 14:17
I'm 29. I lift weights hard, ride my bike a couple of hundred miles a week and backpack as often as I can, and despite that I had to quit last year also. I limped into Erwin with tendonitis that I never would have forseen and had to decide to just get over it.
Forget about it. Section hike or try again. I don't have the money or time to try throughing again anytime soon, so I've had to modify my plans toward sectioning over the next few years.
I'm not exactly over it, but it's not worth letting it eat a nagging pit in your stomach either.
thru-hikers rarely "find" themselves on the trail. they usually find they're tired, hungry, sore and thirsty. some find themselves back out the following year doing another hike. the AT ain't a magic cure, just a walking trail. fantasy and reality are two different things
Thank You, but you have been there. To me that is still a dream, I have had since I was was a kid, I want to know, what is like to be on top of that MT in Maine! To feel the air on on your face. to feel like you truely did something for you. Maybe that is selfish, but is'nt that what a thru hike is?
the goat
10-09-2007, 14:23
Thank You, but you have been there. To me that is still a dream, I have had since I was was a kid, I want to know, what is like to be on top of that MT in Maine! To feel the air on on your face. to feel like you truely did something for you. Maybe that is selfish, but is'nt that what a thru hike is?
nah, it's really just an extended hike through the woods on a trail.
thru-hikers rarely "find" themselves on the trail. they usually find they're tired, hungry, sore and thirsty. some find themselves back out the following year doing another hike. the AT ain't a magic cure, just a walking trail. fantasy and reality are two different things
When I started in 1993 I was constantly surprised by the number of hikers who were surprised at what they found the trail to be -- including me. I had been climbing mountains since the age of four and had done all of Maine with a nine year old in preparation.
But as the enormity of a six month walk set in, I was a bit shocked to think I had started such as task. I kept going mostly out of curiosity about what would be found over the next horizon.
I was also fascinated by the varieties of plants and flowers and how closely many were the same as those I had known on midcoast Maine -- and how they were blooming at the same time on the high ridges of Georgia as they would have been at home on midcoast Maine.
I strongly recommend that thru hike wannabes develop a curiosity about the environment of the trail before starting. Otherwise, I suspect, the long green tunnel can get pretty boring at times.
I'm also a champion of late starts. The trail is hard enough -- at least for us old folks -- without the added challenges of February and March cold and snows.
Did I "find myself" on the trail? Not really. Though I did confirm some things I had long suspected. And my walk did give me a renewed appreciation of the amazing miracle that the creation of a 2,000 mile trail through the crowded east really was.
Weary www.matlt.org
Failing isn't even a part of the picture here. The attempt was a huge success, Congratulations!
Focus your energies now on how to fulfill your dream, getting to the place you want to be, looking back is just going to cause you to trip over yourself :)
Before I put my psycho hat on I need to know, why did you quit?
Survivor Dave
10-09-2007, 14:49
Lacbe,
I just sent you a PM. I wish you would read it and get back if you get the incling.
I ditto a lot of what folks have already said. I have personally experienced what you are going through and where you got off the Trail as well. The shuttle back to my house was horrible. I made it that way. No one that cared about me judged me. I guess it's kind of hard to see that when you are feeling down.NO ONE QUITS THE AT, THEY JUST GET OFF FOR A WHILE. Ask any hiker here.
As in the Eagles song, I had to "Get Over It". I'm sure Don Henley, Joe Walsh, Timothy B. Schmidt, Glen Frey, and Don Felder won't mind me using the title! LOL
Who's says you can't feel the wind in your hair and stand next to the Katahdin sign? Nobody. The only person judging you so harshly is Lacbe.
I will maybe attempt it next March. Wanna go?
Survivor Dave
Lacbe,
I started hiking on the AT when I was about 14. Just a few days now and again. After I got out of the Marine Corps in 1970 I started hiking again, just a few days now and again as work and family permitted. It was good, relaxing and a lot of work. In 2000 time was right to attempt a thru hike. I didn't get to Maine but I don't feel like I failed for not having made it. I am planning to go again next spring. Not because I think I failed in 2000 but because each time I am out in the woods it is a success, regardless of where I am or how many miles I go, it just feels good.
I thought my 2000 hike was a success because I went as far as my knees would allow. They've been fixed now and are good as new. I've been dreaming and planning for the next time ever since I got home. It is still a challenge I've set for myself to complete the entire trail but (In My Opinion) if I don't I won't look upon myself as having failed in any aspect of AT hiking, for as has been said repeatedly in this thread, it is not the sum of one's life, it's just one of many trails through the woods, there to be enjoyed for itself alone, not as any measure of a person's life successes or failures.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Each day on this side of the dirt is a success.
Hiking from AFSP or Springer to Neels gap could never be considered "failure".
SGT Rock
10-09-2007, 15:18
True - that is a nice stretch of trail.
Appalachian Tater
10-09-2007, 15:21
If you quit because you missed your family you're not the first. Be glad you have them to spend time with. Nothing wrong with that.
Cookerhiker
10-09-2007, 15:23
I also retired at age 55 at which point I had hiked about 800 miles in sections, all in short trips no more than 3-4 nights. Although I wanted to finish the AT some day, I didn't even conceive at the time (2003) of hiking 100 or 200 miles at a clip let alone a thruhike. But I managed my first 100-mile hike in 2004 and gradually became convinced I could hike long-distance. So I gradually increased the number and mileage of my hikes. Bottom line, I hiked over 700 miles in 2005 to finish the Trail.
My message is:
You're not a failure
You have more time ahead of you - retirement years are the best
Start with small chunks like you've already done and work your way up to 100, 200, 300 miles. Believe me if I can do it, you can also.
Pick the best times of year i.e. don't hike the buggy, low-elevation mid-Atlantic in the heat & humidity of mid-summer.
And especially, listen to all the good advice from the WBers above.I had similar sentiments albeit briefly when I couldn't finish the John Muir Trail last year but no regrets; I had a beautiful time. So remember, you've succeeded much more than you've failed.
-SEEKER-
10-09-2007, 15:45
In 2006 I only made it to Jarrard Gap (25.3 mi). When I got home all I kept saying was that I had left a part of me on the trail. I knew I had to go back and pick up that part of my heart and soul that I had left behind. In 2007 I started over and only made it to Unicoi Gap (50.7 mi). At Neels Gap I wrote in the journal " I am finally at peace with myself". I now know that I belong not only in the woods, but on the AT in particular. No one can know exactly how you feel. Your personality and how you deal with things are unique to you. Trying to get people to understand you will only cause you more angst. Start working NOW for your next attempt. Monitor yourself for signs of depression and seek help accordingly.
leeki pole
10-09-2007, 15:47
Hey...a day in the woods beats a day at work. You are not a failure.
Suck it up and go again. Coach says so. Report back upon summitting Big K. We will await the good news.:)
Congrats on making it to Neels Gap, and you are not a failure, you tried, be proud, not many people even try.
Keep on pushing,
Kirby
Failed? You've got to be kidding. You hiked 31 magnificent miles over several days with everything you needed on your back. That is an adventure that only a tiny fraction of the population will ever experience. Chalk it up as one, and if the urge arises, Neels Gap is a great place to start your next section hike.
AbeHikes
10-09-2007, 16:17
I've never attempted a thru-hike. If you've tried and I haven't even done that, what does that make me? Who's yardstick do you have?
And you're only talking about your first attempt? Seems to me that all that says is that you're on the hook for another try. Just go, man.
SGT Rock
10-09-2007, 16:20
Who says the internet is full of negative jerks?
shelterbuilder
10-09-2007, 16:23
A wise man once said that it is not the destination, but rather the journey, that is important. I started hiking the trail in sections years ago in college, then I got "side-tracked" building shelters and maintaining trail while I was raising a family. But now I see that there is so much more to the trail than what most hikers will ever see - and that's part of MY journey. Don't become discouraged, and don't ever give up.
When Edison was trying to invent the light bulb, he went through hundreds of different types of filaments - and none of them worked, until his LAST attempt. As the "failed" filaments burned out, he'd turn to his assistant and say "Well, now we know THAT doesn't work." And he'd try something else. You need to keep trying, keep changing things, equipment, methods - until you find what works for YOU. DON'T GIVE UP!
Like many peoplle in 2004-2006, I caught the Lewis and Clark bug. For a variety of reasons, I was entranced by the journey the Corps of Discovery undertook.
I overdosed on ANY literature I could find about the L&C expedition. One delightful book I read was Dayton Duncan's OUT WEST.
A road trip along the L&C trail. Highly suggest it!
Every chapter of the book has "rules of the road". The last one, I think, applies to this situation:
Road Rule 26: The final value of any expedition is not what you failed to discover but
what you found in its place; the important thing is not so much the dream you pursued
but the fact that you pursued it. Looking back on your journey, what you remember most
is not what you were searching for, but the search itself.
dessertrat
10-09-2007, 16:29
I had a great hike once; I planned on doing the hundred mile wilderness in 8 or 9 days. I ended up doing the Barren-Chairback range, plus a day hike up Gulf Hagas, in 6 days, and then went home.
I really enjoyed it. That was not a failed journey, just because I didn't stick to the plan, was it?
kyhiker1
10-09-2007, 16:30
I sense no failure ,actually you have acomplished more than most by just getting out there.Please dont give up....never give up!!
Jim Adams
10-09-2007, 17:16
I've thru hiked the AT twice and did 1,000 miles of the PCT...you have a home life...I am very jealous of that! You didn't fail and your life sounds good. I would give almost anything for your home life with your family....the grass isn't always greener!!!! Good luck.
geek
as many have already said, no one can feel what you are feeling....however, in all of our eyes, you are not a failure. you got out there, you gave it a go....that is HUGE!
you say you still need to find yourself...maybe the AT is the place for you for that, and maybe it isn't....just be open to whatever comes your way, and the way it comes...
i may have done a thru myself (in 02) and in 99 i also quite up in gorham, nh...decided the journey was over for me then....and as far as finding myself, i do believe i found myself a more confused being after living on the trail....
and i second what Geek just said...sounds like you have a wonderful home life....i would absolutely love that right about now...
i understand it can be tough not fulfilling an expectation of oneself, but do not forget the blessings you do have...
You're retired at age 55? And you dare call yourself a failure? :D
When Edison was trying to invent the light bulb, he went through hundreds of different types of filaments - and none of them worked, until his LAST attempt. As the "failed" filaments burned out, he'd turn to his assistant and say "Well, now we know THAT doesn't work." And he'd try something else. You need to keep trying, keep changing things, equipment, methods - until you find what works for YOU. DON'T GIVE UP!
"If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward." - Thomas Alva Edison (http://www.quotatio.com/e/edison-thomas-alva-if-i-find-10-000-ways-something-050178.html)
He was a pretty smart fella.
I've recently retired as well and since my teens I've had the idea of a thru-hike in the back of my mind some where. Now that I have the time to actually attempt a thru, I don't think it's part of The Dream any longer. I'm not that goal oriented. I don't want to be a slave to a schedule or think that, every day, I've got to make X-number of miles. That doesn't seem like too much fun and above all, it should be fun. I plan to do long sections and in that regard, you're well ahead of me already. :)
Tom
Who says the internet is full of negative jerks?That is EXACTLY what I was thinking while reading this thread. Keep hope alive.:cool:
springerfever
10-09-2007, 20:15
Lacbe.......
Hang in there man, the trail is always await'n.
Sounds like you had a fair amount of determination, but your physical state and mental state just weren't ready for the journey. You have so much to be thankful for and it sounds like you were having separation anxiety from your family. There are some hard pulls from Springer over to Neels Gap and with the recent surgery and the required bedrest, you definately were not at the top of your game.
I, too, plan to pick up a pebble at Springer and tote it all the way to Katahdin, and I too, just had some recent surgery (ACL replacement right knee). Focus on getting yourself in shape both mentally and physically and consider your 2007 hike just a shakedown.........
You've got plenty of folks here to support you and you possess the most important characteristic of a successful thru----DETERMINATION.......
Bet you didn't know that a higher percentage of us over 50 that start the trail..FINISH.....as opposed to the multitudes of young whippersnappers that drop out for various reasons...
Good luck and keep us posted..........
Lone Wolf
10-09-2007, 21:44
I have not posted since the spring of 2007. I dreamed of thru hiking the trail in 2007 when I retired. I just turned 55 yesterday and I feel like I failed in life, I quit after 5 days, at Neels Gap. I have a wife who loves me after 36 yrs and two grandkids who love me and a carier that people respected me for. So why do I need to proof (speling is very bad so deal with it)to me that I need to walk to Maine. The dream is still there but I dought who I am. I need to walk in the wood to find my self. If I can't come here. where do i go for those who have been there? My life has been great and I have been happy with who I am. So why do I feel like I have failed me?
i've had time to think about it and read the rest of the posts. quit your ****in sniveling and hike the trail or stay home and pout. you're able bodied, got $$ and a family that is behind you. no more sympathy. just friggin hike or go on oprah
modiyooch
10-09-2007, 22:32
^^^ That was harsh. Why does it have to be all or none? Last year I ran into a man that decided to hike for the week so that he could make a major decision about his career. He told me he reached that decision within the first mile. I'm a section hiker, but the days are the same. 10 hours walking, 2 hours eating, and the rest sleeping. Plenty of time to think without distraction. why limit that thinking to one big hike?
^^^ That was harsh. Why does it have to be all or none? Last year I ran into a man that decided to hike for the week so that he could make a major decision about his career. He told me he reached that decision within the first mile. I'm a section hiker, but the days are the same. 10 hours walking, 2 hours eating, and the rest sleeping. Plenty of time to think without distraction. why limit that thinking to one big hike?
Well, I walk a bit in the woods every day I can. I find it a healthy and fun thing to do. But I never found it a special help in making decisions. Well, once, while walking in the woods, I decided somewhat casually to go to Georgia and walk home. A few days before starting, I had an excuse to not go. But my wife and I hired a lawyer to resolve the problem and after a two week delay, I left anyway.
I had plenty of time, but not much money, especially after hiring a lawyer. But I live frugally and have never much cared about what I was spending this year, as long as I thought it would all balance out in the end.
Weary
I have not posted since the spring of 2007. I dreamed of thru hiking the trail in 2007 when I retired. I just turned 55 yesterday and I feel like I failed in life, I quit after 5 days, at Neels Gap. I have a wife who loves me after 36 yrs and two grandkids who love me and a carier that people respected me for. So why do I need to proof (speling is very bad so deal with it)to me that I need to walk to Maine. The dream is still there but I dought who I am. I need to walk in the wood to find my self. If I can't come here. where do i go for those who have been there? My life has been great and I have been happy with who I am. So why do I feel like I have failed me?
i have been hiking the AT for 7 years and still have not finished it yet,i have hiked 1832 mile,still have 342 to go,a say take your time enjoy retirement
and hike it bits and pieces at a time,just enjoy it:cool: neo
I have not posted since the spring of 2007. I dreamed of thru hiking the trail in 2007 when I retired. I just turned 55 yesterday and I feel like I failed in life, I quit after 5 days, at Neels Gap. I have a wife who loves me after 36 yrs and two grandkids who love me and a carier that people respected me for. So why do I need to proof (speling is very bad so deal with it)to me that I need to walk to Maine. The dream is still there but I dought who I am. I need to walk in the wood to find my self. If I can't come here. where do i go for those who have been there? My life has been great and I have been happy with who I am. So why do I feel like I have failed me?
wow i wish i could retire at 55,we here on whiteblaze are your friends and we are here for you:cool: neo
There are lots of ways to get to hike to Maine, besides leaving with the herd in the spring. Suggestion: Hike one week a month. Start at Neels Gap, hike for a week. Go home for three weeks. Pick up wherever you left off, hike for a week. Go home for three weeks. Do that all through the winter. By next summer you'll be getting pretty far north. You might want to hike for two weeks at a stretch. Or three. Or a month. You could do the whole thing over, say, five years.
I would like to thank all of you for your thoughts and replies. It's good to be able to come here and get encouragement from a community of people who have a common love of the trail and who really care about helping others. I will try again, just not sure when. PS-- L. Wolf I feel honored that you gave me a fvking and friggin, I didn't think it was harsh, it was just the Wolf being the Wolf.
Don't let anyone fool you, hiking is hard work. Hiking for weeks on end is Very hard work.
Like Wingfoot always said, "If the AT isn't the most important thing in your life, you will not complete a thru hike!" This is so true: I have done about 7 section hikes, and when the above statement isn't true, I do not finish that section, when it is true, I complete my planned section and then some.
Maybe next time the AT will be important enough, or not, it really dosn't matter. After all, it's only hiking!
Give sectioning a try, you may find that is how you were ment to hike the AT.
teledaveaustin
10-10-2007, 09:41
I started as planned on the 15 of March on Springer after taking my time on the approach trail. I made it to the far side of Wayah Bald. In August 2006 I was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer and went through surgery, radiation and was pretty much in the middle of chemo when I took off for the trail. I am so proud of making around 125 miles on the trail. My trail name is trooper and I met some really fantastic people on the way. The A.T. seems to be a magnet for people rebounding from accidents, illness etc. I am longing to get back NOBO and I know for a fact I will.
dessertrat
10-10-2007, 10:00
Wow. Just think, it someone had made the AT 4000 miles long, there would be a lot more failures, and if they had made it 10 miles long, there would be a lot more successes.
The "whole trail", while an accomplishment, is an arbitrary trail that stretches an arbitrary number of miles. Hike some, none, or all of it. It just is.
Lone Wolf
10-10-2007, 10:26
I would like to thank all of you for your thoughts and replies. It's good to be able to come here and get encouragement from a community of people who have a common love of the trail and who really care about helping others. I will try again, just not sure when. PS-- L. Wolf I feel honored that you gave me a fvking and friggin, I didn't think it was harsh, it was just the Wolf being the Wolf.
sorry to be so harsh but there are young children in cancer wards who's dream is to be alive for christmas so a dream of hiking a trail is kinda unimportant. but i do hope you get back out there.
sorry to be so harsh but there are young children in cancer wards who's dream is to be alive for christmas so a dream of hiking a trail is kinda unimportant. but i do hope you get back out there.Ah, I see. Since one's dreams are not seen as all that important to others, there is no need to have them.
Wolf, you are certainly right that in the big scheme of things dreaming to walk the trail is rather insignificant when compared to the child with cancer dreaming to see Christmas. But a dream is a dream and as such, we internalize them in similar ways. You can always find a more sympathetic, or honorable dream, even more so than the child dreaming to see christmas. It is only a matter of degree.
But I understand that after all this happy talk, a swift kick in the *ss might have been warranted.
Lion King
10-10-2007, 10:56
You either will or wont, no matter what any of us say.
You will either live with the thoughts of the trail and allow it to 'haunt' you or you will let it go and hug the wife and kids, eat Lobster and do whatever it is that makes you happy at home and be fine with it.
You will either pack a bag and go out for small hikes, long hikes, blue blazing/yellow blazin/white blazin/aqua blazin/pink-red-brown and purple blazin until your mind is exhausted and your body aches on every level and you wish to god it was over until you get home and begin thinking about the next time your feet are firmly planted on top of some mountian you sweated and struggled to get to the top of. or you wont.
and hopefully you wont just be happy to be there because your cell-phone gets service there.
No one, and I mean NO ONE can ever make you go on a hike (Unless you are military obviously), and no one, no matter how much they coddle you can make you feel better about your own descisions to either come out or to not, to finsih a hike or section or whatever.
Sometimes we need validation for our decisions, the good ones to let us know we made the right choice, and also for the bad ones, to let us know we didnt make a mistake in our choices and hopfully others will pat us on the back and say..."It's okay, your still super wonderful and okay in my book", because as an insecure species on the whole, we for some damn reason need others aprovals in whatever we do.
..but in the long run it wont matter what any of us think of your choices to get back out, or your self imposed guilt about begin a 'failure'.
You are what you believe yourself to be and no one can change that, your inner turmoil or your wunderlust that will call out to you till you hike some more.
Just get out for a two or three week hike a year till you section hike it.
It will hurt, you will miss people, you will be hungry, you will face some inner issues and you may even want to go home the first day back, but at least you are out there.
So, re-read LW's straight to the point post and go out and do it, or dont.
Best of luck
I know what a "failed" through hike feels like. I cried a small river of tears the day I quit in VA -- even though I knew, going in, that the odds were long.
"Failure" has meaning only with regard to human conditions, measurements, and definitions. The trail itself makes no such judgements. It doesn't care if you you walk it as a thru, or in sections, or at all. The task before you is to redefine "success" so that you can achieve it while still having fun.
earlyriser26
10-10-2007, 11:10
I've been hiking my "Thru hike" since 1969 and am only half way done. If it isn't fun, don't do it. We call that work. In two weeks I'll be hiking a whole 20 miles from Springer to woody gap. Another 1% done!:)
SGT Rock
10-10-2007, 11:23
Wolf, you are certainly right that in the big scheme of things dreaming to walk the trail is rather insignificant when compared to the child with cancer dreaming to see Christmas. But a dream is a dream and as such, we internalize them in similar ways. You can always find a more sympathetic, or honorable dream, even more so than the child dreaming to see christmas. It is only a matter of degree.
But I understand that after all this happy talk, a swift kick in the *ss might have been warranted.
That is what I was thinking when I saw Wolf's comments. Sometimes when I am sniveling it helps more if someone tells me to suck it up and figure it out than sympathizing with me. I imagine there may be others like that that want a kick in the ass rather than a hankie LOL.
take-a-knee
10-10-2007, 15:46
Lacbe, I didn't catch what your surgeries were, eight weeks sounds a little soon to me. If any connective tissues, IE tendons, ligament etc were involved, and they usually are, it might take six months for them to get back %100. Just sucking it up won't make you heal. Determination will keep you on a proper exercise/rehab regimin but determination alone won't always garantee you'll heal properly if you over do it. Also, I live in Kathleen, let me know when you want to do the Pine Mountain Trail sometime.
I imagine there may be others like that that want a kick in the ass rather than a hankie LOL.
Perhaps this device may be useful? (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/orc/408390645.html)
...when I am sniveling...
Holy Crow Bat Man, Sarge SNIVELS! :eek:
ChinMusic
10-10-2007, 20:20
Holy Crow Bat Man, Sarge SNIVELS! :eek:
That only leaves Chuck Norris.:cool:
take-a-knee
10-10-2007, 20:29
But he doesn't snivel like a rat eatin' onions.
SGT Rock
10-10-2007, 20:35
Sure I get a little whinny occasionally then remember to suck up the snot bubbles and pull in my boo-boo lip and drive on.
...and drive on.
First sniveling, now yellow-blazing, oh Lord what's next? I am in total shock. :eek:
SGT Rock
10-10-2007, 20:44
I'm not a purist but I do try to not snivel.
Doing the AT is a goal for me. I don't have the time to do it in one year though. So it is in pieces. If you are looking for something then you don't know where you'll find it. You can't force it. Enjoy the walks, remember, it's not the destination, it's the journey that's important.
Been there, still am.
Enjoy the walks, remember, it's not the destination, it's the journey that's important.
Been there, still am.
I agree...don't overestimate the destination and underestimate the journey. Sometimes the JOURNEY is really what it's all about. (I'd even venture to say MOST times!) That's where the things that help us put the puzzle pieces together usually happen...the crisis that made us stronger, the friendship we weren't expecting, the times we just flat out blew it and learned something from it that ultimately made us a better person, the times we were amazed we had "it" in us and were ready to take on the world only to come to the realization that we're not intended to be the "hero" every time! Another thought....just a thought!...if hiking the AT is the pinacle of finding out who we are, won't all the other "journeys" that follow kind of be unnecessary or a let-down? And what about all the "journeys" you've been on in life up to this point...like being a husband, a dad, a coworker, a friend? Get the best you can out of the AT, don't let it get the best of you!
warraghiyagey
10-12-2007, 01:07
I'm not a purist but I do try to not snivel.
All your not snivelling is starting to sound like snivelling.:-?
Phoenix Rising
10-12-2007, 01:08
Lacbe
Thank you… I think there are a lot of us on WB who have felt similar feelings at some point or another but don’t have the courage to post about it. I agree with what the others have said you have not failed. When I was named in 2005 I never could have known how poetic the name would turn out to be… I stated with the masses hiking north with the intention of the Big K, but I knew right away it wasn’t the right time for me. I KNEW I could do it, I just wasn’t meant to do it. At least not that year… so the thru hiker of 2005 was burned to ashes and Phoenix Rising was reborn as a trail angel. Had someone told me 6 months earlier that I would be spending my summer and all my savings helping not only complete strangers, but stinky hiking ones, I would have said they were crazy, but I now look back at that summer as the best I have ever had. The only person who actually said I was a failure was my younger brother, who I have not spoken to in almost 7 years, so that was no great loss to me. And my response was how could that be a failure anyway? For the first time in my life I went out backpacking with no friends, I hiked over 100 miles, I hitchhiked, and I was out for more than 3 days. I did not fail; I altered my adventure. I will hike again, that I know. And I know I have been blessed by the friendships I have formed through the AT, mostly because one of my closest friends (who also got off the trail in 2005 and later returned in 2006 for a complete thru) has a saying I keep in the front of my mind… “That was only a practice run!” So remember you have now had a practice run and the trail is always there for you no mater how you choose to hike it!
Phoenix Rising
warraghiyagey
10-12-2007, 01:15
Lacbe
Thank you… I think there are a lot of us on WB who have felt similar feelings at some point or another but don’t have the courage to post about it. I agree with what the others have said you have not failed. When I was named in 2005 I never could have known how poetic the name would turn out to be… I stated with the masses hiking north with the intention of the Big K, but I knew right away it wasn’t the right time for me. I KNEW I could do it, I just wasn’t meant to do it. At least not that year… so the thru hiker of 2005 was burned to ashes and Phoenix Rising was reborn as a trail angel. Had someone told me 6 months earlier that I would be spending my summer and all my savings helping not only complete strangers, but stinky hiking ones, I would have said they were crazy, but I now look back at that summer as the best I have ever had. The only person who actually said I was a failure was my younger brother, who I have not spoken to in almost 7 years, so that was no great loss to me. And my response was how could that be a failure anyway? For the first time in my life I went out backpacking with no friends, I hiked over 100 miles, I hitchhiked, and I was out for more than 3 days. I did not fail; I altered my adventure. I will hike again, that I know. And I know I have been blessed by the friendships I have formed through the AT, mostly because one of my closest friends (who also got off the trail in 2005 and later returned in 2006 for a complete thru) has a saying I keep in the front of my mind… “That was only a practice run!” So remember you have now had a practice run and the trail is always there for you no mater how you choose to hike it!
Phoenix Rising
PR, that is a great story and a great piece of writing. Thank you.
nitewalker
10-12-2007, 08:29
treat it like a lays potato chip. you cant eat just one, you always go back for more...maybe your 5 day hike was your 1st chip and there will be many more to follow..if you take and eat one chip at a time be4 you know it the bag will be gone....and by the way not all of us have finished the bag of chips yet..i have eaten 800 chips[miles] since 03... good luck on your future journeys..............peace out, nitewalker
skeeterfeeder
10-14-2007, 07:10
Lacbe, I was wondering what you were really asking. There have been many replies to you, but they don't seem to be what you were needing.
You didn't say what it is about doing a thru that you feel you need. Also, you didn't mention why you left the trail at Neel's. I was 55 when I started, so maybe I can understand where you are coming from with a little more information, if you care to expound.
...Me, I still need to see what the future holds for me. Thank you...
Who knows what the future brings anyone. You can either sit around waiting on it or you can go out to meet it head on.
There's no waiting line on the AT that I know of. And, no judges or requirements to be met. Go hike, see and enjoy. HYOH!!!
icemanat95
10-15-2007, 08:42
I'm with the others here. You failed nothing, you just realigned your goals with reality.
In the militarty, there is a well worn adage that "no plan ever survived first contact with the enemy." the enemy has their own plans and conditions on the ground are often quite different from what planners see on maps and intel reports, thus there is an expecation that the plan will bneed to be modified and adapted on the spolt at both the micro and macro levels.
Your initial plan to thru-hike the AT in 07 was an initial plan, that met the enemy (the reality of life on the , and was adapted to that reality. You have fallen back and are regrouping to implement a more realistic plan considering your own needs and wants.
Section hiking is a perfectly reasonable and rewarding way to address the AT. It allows you to pick and choose what section you want to hike at what time of the year, so you can avoid the hottest, driest sections during the peak of Summer, etc. You also avoid the grinding boredom that many hikers suffer in the Mid-Atlantic (Virginia Blues).
Go out and address the trail (or many other trails) in manageable chunks. At 55 you've got a couple of decades of hiking left in you so long as you maintain your health and don't push too hard. Enjoy your retirement.
BigwaveDave
10-15-2007, 17:06
Lacbe, Failed? No way Like the man said you just came home a little early. Some people don't have the guts to try, you just successfully hiked a section of the trail. Keep the faith brother, hike another section.
BigWave
Again, I would like to thank all of you for your thoughts and I am ashamed for what I said, my wife always tells me, I am black or white, all or nothing and I hate to admit it ,but she is right. My mind was set to go all the way to Maine but my body wasn't. I had 2 surgeries for a groin and embilical hernias on Jan 17 and started my hike 8 weeks later on March 17, big mistake! Every time I put my pack on it would hurt. But I was not going to let that stop me, well it did She also says I'm not to bright sometimes, man I hate when she's right. I'v received quite a few private posts and with what has been said above, from those who wish they could have walk that section and I am sorry for the way I wrote the original post. I had an experence that some will dream of, but never try or can't try and I was feeling sorry for myself, (she also calls me a few things I can't repeat here) I will try again, but with a different mind set. I was being a bit hard on myself and I should have not posted in that frame of mind. So i deserve a big kick in the backside. So please let this thread end.
Programbo
10-15-2007, 21:54
I dreamed of thru hiking the trail in 2007 when I retired.
.............Why?