View Full Version : Some WB users...please pay attention! :)
(http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/usatoday/brand/SIG=11dr571mi;_ylt=AopTWZsfBsUC5A5yUrO_YhxdCGYD/**http%3A%2F%2Fwww.usatoday.com%3Fcsp%3D1%2F)
Town may criminalize online harassment -
Note From FD: This originally contained a link to a news article about a tragic story of on-line harassment gone very wrong -- and one town attempting to make on-line harassment against the law. Several people have complained that the tragedy does not belong in the humor section.
(http://news.yahoo.com/s/usatoday/20071121/tc_usatoday/townmaycriminalizeonlineharassment;_ylt=AkGLUOVsIw d7Fc0x6FKB0g2s0NUE)
Skidsteer
11-21-2007, 19:46
Wow. Pretty grim stuff.
That article is a good lesson not to take this internet thing too seriously.
Wow. Pretty grim stuff.
That article is a good lesson not to take this internet thing too seriously.
While the idea of criminal harrasment on the Internet is probably not enforceable, the outcome is undeniably a tragedy.
Golden Rule time.
Having said that...
Frolicking Dinosaurs
11-21-2007, 19:57
::: Dino makes evil plan to round up the usual suspects and move them to Dardenne Prairie, MO :::
My 2 teenage boys think we are fools because we limit "myspace" time.
Bobby
Programbo
11-21-2007, 20:28
This is from the "Ask Stevie" section of her website:
Question 130 - from Judy in Saint Cloud MN
Hi Stevie!
Do you have a myspace.com page?
Stevie's answer: Hi Judy, no I don’t. I think they are evil. Seriously, I think myspace.com has the potential to be a very dangerous site.
Frolicking Dinosaurs
11-21-2007, 20:38
The serious discussion in this thread has been moved here (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?p=453708). Continue with humor
You think some members here use WB as a forum for harassment? NOooo? REallyyyyy? HA!
warraghiyagey
11-22-2007, 11:31
The serious discussion in this thread has been moved here (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?p=453708). Continue with humor
So this penguin walks into a bar and asks if anyone has seen his brother and the bartender says, "I don't know, what does he look like?"
So this penguin walks into a bar and asks if anyone has seen his brother and the bartender says, "I don't know, what does he look like?"
I actually lauged at that!
warraghiyagey
11-22-2007, 12:14
I actually lauged at that!
Sweet!! Here's another. I've got lot's. Tell me when to stop, they get worse.
A sandwich walks into a bar and says can I get a beer? And the bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other, "It smells fishy around here."
warraghiyagey
11-22-2007, 12:27
Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other, "It smells fishy around here."
OK. Took me a second, then I laughed.
An owl walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey owl, how's your brother?" and the owl says "who."
I made that one up
warraghiyagey
11-22-2007, 12:29
Two cows are standing next to each other in their stalls over in England and the one cow says to the other "So, what do you think of this mad cow disease?" and the other cow says, "Why should I care? I'm a chicken!"
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck
What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Dam!
warraghiyagey
11-22-2007, 12:35
THis guy walks into a bar and says "ow."
Are we the only ones on the computer today?? Good jokes btw!
Lone Wolf
11-22-2007, 13:07
Are we the only ones on the computer today?? Good jokes btw!
i'm on in between prepping our glutonous feast to come
Lone Wolf
11-22-2007, 13:08
why'd the woman cross the road?
who gives a s**t. what's she doing out of the kitchen?
what's she doing out of the kitchen?
Let me take a guess.....stacking wood?;)
Let me take a guess.....stacking wood?;)
LOL... Happy Thankgiving Mrs Gorp!
Horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Hey, why the long face?"
A SEC Alabama/Auburn joke...
Coach "Bear" Bryant is out fishing in a small boat with the coach from Auburn when Bear slips and falls overbaord. The Auburn coach jumps to the rescue and pulls coach Bryant back into the boat.
After a few minutes, the Auburn coach says, "Bear, not for nothing but with our rivalry, the fans may be a little ticked at me for saving your life. Could you not mention it?"
Bear Bryant responds, "Well, coach, I won't mention you saving my life, if you don't mention, I can't walk on water!"
why'd the woman cross the road?
who gives a s**t. what's she doing out of the kitchen?
Beer run.
Lone Wolf
11-22-2007, 17:31
Beer run.
you damn right!
Wow. Pretty grim stuff.
That article is a good lesson not to take this internet thing too seriously.How do you not take it seriously when thousands of people bombard you with emails, and post your name and address, phone and work phone, and satellite pictures of your house along with hate mail?
briarpatch
11-22-2007, 19:54
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
Okay then...continuing with the (bad) humor.
Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
That's my wife's. One better (yeah right!)...
Guy's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere late at night in a storm. He realizes he passed a house a couple miles back and walks back up the road, turning in at this incredible mansion. He rings the bell, and an honest to goodness butler answers the door. Guy explains his situation and is ushered in out of the storm as the butler swoops away to inform the man of the house.
The man of the house turns out to be a somewhat eccentric but nice old coot, who has clean clothes and towels brought to the fellow, fixes him up with a warm shower and, afterward, some hot coffee. Showing the fellow to a room where he can spend the night and assuring him they'll take care of his car in the morning, the old guy says,
"Now look. Feel free to roam about the house if you have trouble sleeping. Make yourself a midnight snack if you like. Whatever. But no matter what you hear, no matter what you see, do NOT touch the pink gorilla."
Blinking a few times, the poor, tired man replies, "Sure, okay, whatever. I won't touch the pink gorilla." Of course, the old man must be nuts.
Guy goes to sleep, and sure enough in the middle of the night he's awakened by the worst racket one could imagine. He slips on a robe and follows the noises, the screaming and banging and something clanging on metal, to the kitchen. He peaks into the kitchen and there in the middle of the floor is a great cage, with a massive pink gorilla inside. Seeing the man, the gorilla stops his racket. Huffing and puffing, he whimpers, and reaches a hand through the bars toward the man.
Feeling sorry for the animal, the guy steps forward and cautiously lays his hand on that of the pink gorilla. The gorilla flies into an insane rage, leaping around in his cage, screaming, and tugging at the bars. The bars begin to buckle under his incredible strength, and within moments the gorilla wrenches open the door to his cage. Scared out of his wits the man flies out of the kitchen, the gorilla coming after him. Down a long hall and out the back door the man runs, the gorilla right on his heels.
Through the woods, and the gorilla is gaining on the man. Looking over his shoulder at the beast the man trips on a log and tumbles to the ground. In seconds the gorilla is upon him. Reaching its enormous hand toward the man with lightning speed the gorilla grips the man by the hair of the head and yells, "Tag! You're it!"
Skidsteer
11-22-2007, 22:40
How do you not take it seriously when thousands of people bombard you with emails, and post your name and address, phone and work phone, and satellite pictures of your house along with hate mail?
Personally? I'd unplug the ******ing computer and eat a bowl of ice cream.
Teenage girls these days just aren't willing to take such drastic measures.
doggiebag
11-22-2007, 23:03
Okay then...continuing with the (bad) humor.
Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
That's my wife's. One better (yeah right!)...
Guy's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere late at night in a storm. He realizes he passed a house a couple miles back and walks back up the road, turning in at this incredible mansion. He rings the bell, and an honest to goodness butler answers the door. Guy explains his situation and is ushered in out of the storm as the butler swoops away to inform the man of the house.
The man of the house turns out to be a somewhat eccentric but nice old coot, who has clean clothes and towels brought to the fellow, fixes him up with a warm shower and, afterward, some hot coffee. Showing the fellow to a room where he can spend the night and assuring him they'll take care of his car in the morning, the old guy says,
"Now look. Feel free to roam about the house if you have trouble sleeping. Make yourself a midnight snack if you like. Whatever. But no matter what you hear, no matter what you see, do NOT touch the pink gorilla."
Blinking a few times, the poor, tired man replies, "Sure, okay, whatever. I won't touch the pink gorilla." Of course, the old man must be nuts.
Guy goes to sleep, and sure enough in the middle of the night he's awakened by the worst racket one could imagine. He slips on a robe and follows the noises, the screaming and banging and something clanging on metal, to the kitchen. He peaks into the kitchen and there in the middle of the floor is a great cage, with a massive pink gorilla inside. Seeing the man, the gorilla stops his racket. Huffing and puffing, he whimpers, and reaches a hand through the bars toward the man.
Feeling sorry for the animal, the guy steps forward and cautiously lays his hand on that of the pink gorilla. The gorilla flies into an insane rage, leaping around in his cage, screaming, and tugging at the bars. The bars begin to buckle under his incredible strength, and within moments the gorilla wrenches open the door to his cage. Scared out of his wits the man flies out of the kitchen, the gorilla coming after him. Down a long hall and out the back door the man runs, the gorilla right on his heels.
Through the woods, and the gorilla is gaining on the man. Looking over his shoulder at the beast the man trips on a log and tumbles to the ground. In seconds the gorilla is upon him. Reaching its enormous hand toward the man with lightning speed the gorilla grips the man by the hair of the head and yells, "Tag! You're it!"
Thanks for the laugh! :D
Reaching its enormous hand toward the man with lightning speed the gorilla grips the man by the hair of the head and yells, "Tag! You're it!"
:confused: I dont get it...
Sweet!! Here's another. I've got lot's. Tell me when to stop, they get worse.
A sandwich walks into a bar and says can I get a beer? And the bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
50 Lemurs walk into a bar.
Bang ouch, bang ouch, bang ouch...
LastHonestFool
11-23-2007, 03:12
Why don't women wear watches?
There's a clock in 2 two room sthey belong in, one on the stove, and on on the bed table.
Why can't women drive?
There isn't a road between the kitchen and bedroom.
whats the difference between a women at that time of the month and a terrorist?
you can negociate with a terrorist
:confused: I dont get it...
Which is funny in and of itself. :D
The joke works great with kids. At the punch line you grab them, as if you're the gorilla grabbing the man. They jump out of their pants and then laugh themselves silly. Kids are the best audience, hands down.
Now that makes better sense! Thanks for clearing that up!
Why don't women wear watches?
There's a clock in 2 two room sthey belong in, one on the stove, and on on the bed table.
Why can't women drive?
There isn't a road between the kitchen and bedroom.
whats the difference between a women at that time of the month and a terrorist?
you can negociate with a terrorist
Dang. If any females of the species smiled at that, I don't want to meet them. Just wait 'til you get trained...
LastHonestFool
11-23-2007, 12:52
lol, it's only jokes man
I don't actually feel that way :)
Why don't women wear watches?
There's a clock in 2 two room sthey belong in, one on the stove, and on on the bed table.
Why can't women drive?
There isn't a road between the kitchen and bedroom.
whats the difference between a women at that time of the month and a terrorist?
you can negociate with a terrorist
Funny because MOST men are pretty useless in the kitchen and the bedroom. Great jokes though.
Frolicking Dinosaurs
11-28-2007, 12:49
Funny because MOST men are pretty useless in the kitchen and the bedroom. Great jokes though.::: Dino gives AmazonWoman a high five :::
Lone Wolf
11-28-2007, 12:52
how do you give a woman an orgasm?
Funny because MOST men are pretty useless in the kitchen and the bedroom.
Huh, the sexes do have more in common than I thought.:D
Lone Wolf
11-28-2007, 12:55
how do you give a woman an orgasm?
who cares?
who cares?
Thanks for validating my point:rolleyes:
:p
cowboy nichols
11-28-2007, 13:14
It is said that God made man in his image EXCEPT for one thing. Any guesses?
Gray Blazer
11-28-2007, 13:25
This Doctor walks into a bar and orders a walnut daquiri. The bartender is out of walnuts and makes it out of hickory nuts. While the doc is drinking it the bartender asks him "How's the hickory daquiri, Doc?" (cartalk)
A panda walks into a bar, orders a sandwich and a beer, when he's finished he pulls out a gun and proceeds to shoot the place up.
The bartender who has been hiding under the bar says "Hey, what the heck did you do that for? Who do you think you are?"
The panda replys "I'm a Panda, look it up."
The bartender pulls a dictionary out from under the bar and looks up Panda. The definition is "large, black and white Asian mammal. Eats shoots and leaves."
:banana :banana :banana
Jim Adams
11-28-2007, 13:35
A reporter for the Pittsburgh Press is jogging in the park when he sees a mad dog going after a small boy across the field. Just as the dog is ready to pounce on the boy another boy watching the senerio jumps on the dog and stabs it before it can attack the child.
The reporter runs up to the boy and proclaims him a hero and assures him that he will be the headlines in todays news.
The reporter looks at the boy and starts to write. How's this for a headline?he says: "Young Pirates fan kills rabid dog and saves young boys life!"
The boy says: "Thats nice mister but I don't like the Pirates."
The reporter erases and then says: no problem, how's this, "Young Steeler's fan kills rabid dog and saves young boys life!"
The boy says: "That's nice too mister but I don't like the Steelers either."
The reporter says: "Well who do you like?"
The boy answers: "I like the Cleveland Browns!"
The reporter starts to erase it all while just shaking his head and writes: "Little bastard kills family pet!"
geek
Johnny Thunder
11-28-2007, 13:39
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his belt.
The bartender exclaims "Pirate, there's a steering wheel on your croch."
The Pirate says "arrr, and it's drivin' me nuts"
Just remember, this is a family friendly site.... keep em clean(ish)
The Weasel
11-28-2007, 14:06
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Yellow fish.
TW
Jim Adams
11-28-2007, 14:12
How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Wanta ride bicycles?
geek
Jim Adams
11-28-2007, 14:14
How many geeks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
4...1 to hold the bulb and 3 to drink until the room spins.
geek
Johnny Thunder
11-28-2007, 14:23
How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2.
1 to screw it in and another to complain he was inspired by the darkness
Lone Wolf
11-28-2007, 14:25
what's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes full of lawyers?
a porcupine has pricks on the outside
Alligator
11-28-2007, 14:42
Which is funny in and of itself. :D
The joke works great with kids. At the punch line you grab them, as if you're the gorilla grabbing the man. They jump out of their pants and then laugh themselves silly. Kids are the best audience, hands down.I love the pink gorilla joke, but know a slight variation where the guy is buying the house and is told to take care of the pink gorilla. The pink gorilla is then located through a trapdoor door, down several flights of stairs, and behind a wood door, a stone door, and a metal door and then his cage. You can build the suspense better in person 'tis true.
That's awesome, Alligator. I'll try it out on my kids. It's so funny how they want to hear the same joke over and over... =o)
Flush2wice
12-04-2007, 11:18
An avid AT hiker lives in a trail town. Every Saturday for years he awakes at 5 AM, laces up his boots and heads out the back door for a 6 hour day hike. One winter morning he gets up and notices it's 5 degrees and snowing. He bundles up anyway and hits the trail. The wind gets stronger as he hikes up the mountain. The temperature continues to drop, the trail is icy and the snowstorm turns into a blizzard. 30 minutes into the hike he bails and heads back. Once home, he goes into his dark bedroom undresses and snuggles back in bed with his wife.
"It's absolutely freezing out there" he whispers to his wife.
"Yeah, and can you believe my idiot husband is out hiking???"
Gray Blazer
12-04-2007, 11:34
A termite walks into a bar and says, "where's the bar tender?"
warraghiyagey
12-04-2007, 11:59
Two gerbils walk past a ga. . . never mind.
taildragger
12-04-2007, 12:01
2 cows were standing out in a field
one cow looks at the other and says, "I got artificially inseminated today"
The other cow says, "Really"
First cow says, "Yeah, no bull.."
warraghiyagey
12-05-2007, 04:17
Dear Lord, please forgive me. OK here goes:
What did the blonde say after having really great sex?
'So, are you guys all on the same team?'
What happened when Hellen Keller fell down the well?
She screamed her hands off.
What were Christa McAuliff's last words?
'What does this button do?"
Why do blondes only get a half hour for lunch?
If you gave them an hour you'd have to re-train them.
How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?
A) They rearranged the furniture.
B) They left the plunger in the toilet.
Why didn't the Columbia astronauts shower before they went up?
They knew they'd wash upon shore.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M and M's factory?
She kept throwing away all the w's.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog commit suicide?
You'd kill yourself too if your name was Uuhnnggh.
My preemptive apologies (unless you laughed).
F---ed up, but I'm laughin out loud. I liked 'em.
warraghiyagey
12-05-2007, 04:30
F---ed up, but I'm laughin out loud. I liked 'em.
As WB's Woodsy knows, I don't find myself responsible for anything I type after 2AM.
As WB's Woodsy knows, I don't find myself responsible for anything I type after 2AM.
Do you need a timer on your keyboard, so it'll automatically shut itself off at 2?
PS--Terrible jokes, BTW. I'm still grinning.
taildragger
12-05-2007, 09:19
Well, if Hellen Keller jokes we're deemed alright then here I go
How did Hellen Keller break her arm while driving?
She was reading a stop sign.
What sound does Hellen Keller make when she falls off of a cliff
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
splat
Why was Hellen Keller not allowed to drive a car
Cause she's a woman
Do you know what Hellen Keller's dog looks like...neither does she.
Thats all that I could think of that could be considered WB appropriate
warraghiyagey
12-05-2007, 16:26
Well, if Hellen Keller jokes we're deemed alright then here I go
How did Hellen Keller break her arm while driving?
She was reading a stop sign.
What sound does Hellen Keller make when she falls off of a cliff
splat
Why was Hellen Keller not allowed to drive a car
Cause she's a woman
Do you know what Hellen Keller's dog looks like...neither does she.
Thats all that I could think of that could be considered WB appropriate
Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow?
Because her dog was blind too.
warraghiyagey
12-05-2007, 16:26
Do you need a timer on your keyboard, so it'll automatically shut itself off at 2?
PS--Terrible jokes, BTW. I'm still grinning.
That probably would be best.:) :p