View Full Version : Trail social etiquette
jojo0425
02-10-2004, 16:51
Do you do much hiking alone? If someone gives you a bad vibe, forget manners, just say no thanks and get away fast.
As far as a hiking partner that ends up becoming a pain, that reminds me of the Mary Ellen character in "A Walk in the Woods" , if you haven't read it, you should. To get rid of their pain, they hauled butt and got ahead of her. That's one alternative, high tail it til you're sure you've gotten rid of them. :D
Two questions:
1. When you're hitching, what's the best way to decline a ride from someone who gives you a bad vibe? ("No thanks, I'll just walk," doesn't seem very plausible when it's pouring rain and you're way outside of town.)
2. How do you politely disengage yourself from hiking any further with someone you've joined up with after you realize she or he is obnoxious/boorish/overbearing/knowitall/loud/racist/whatever (not dangerous, just unpleasant to be around)?
1. Like Nancy Reagan said, "just say no (thank you)". By the way, guys really like hitching with women, 'cause you tend to attract rides quicker. In other words, you don't have to hitch alone.
2. Sometimes this is easier said than done. At least if you are trying not to bruise feelings. If the direct approach doesn't work, you can always say "I think I need some solitude. If you don't mind, I'd like to hike alone today." The next day, you can say "I really liked hiking alone yesterday. I think I'd like to do that for the next several days." Or, you can go into town, and take a zero day. That should put some space between you and the individual.
Of course, some folks just can't take a hint.
snuffleupagus
02-10-2004, 20:41
You know not all people have to get along with each other. It takes a lot of people to make a world work. A lot of people have flaws in there character, which for some, are just to difficult to overcome. For example one person might think I'm a goofball. Another might think I'm rather an aquired taste. And yet another might think I'm the funniest person they have ever met. Most men I run into are intimidated by my size, which for the most part keeps obnoxious men away from me. But I've had no problem with the tiniest squint of a woman tell me to go to hell if I've offended her. I feel when hiking you usually get a pretty good sense of one's character buy how they hold up to being tired all the time. Most people who lack character whine and bitch constantly, which is usually a good sign that they are self centered and ego based personallities. Someone else who is tired all day may have a more humble approach to life's adversities and will tend to be thinking how to overcome a bad situation. Either way bad character is something that knowone want's to hike with for very long.
Being honest is the best way to cut yourself free from unwanted social situations. It's hard, but that doesn't mean that you are being, or have to be rude. A simple I'm not looking for a hiking partner right now. Or I'd like to be alone for a while, will most likely do the trick. If someone doesn't understand a statement like this, maybe it's time to get a little defensive, and therefore, like such, be a little rude. I think it's always a good idea for women to know were a group of hikers will be stopping for the day. At social gatherings, find a group of people you like to talk with, find out were they will be stopping for the day, and do that everyday. If you feel like your in any trouble from an annoying person let that group know that you are uncomfortable being around this particular person. We are all succeptable to fear, especially when that fear is of the unknown.
If you are hitchhiking and Gramma and Grampa Mosses stop I think for the most part you'll be just fine. Most people giving rides to town do it quite often and are for the mostpart just that townsfolk. If at first glance Billy Bob Flannel Jacket stops and offers you a six pack along with a chicken eating grin. Maybe it's time to just turn down that ride. I've found that the people that pick up hikers will pick you up just for the experience and good conversation. If you are not use to hitch hiking find a nice hiker to share a ride with. (Good idea for all women). I'll share a ride with any female hiker, if she's pretty that's just a bonus to me. I usually get stuck riding in the back of the truck with the dog. Either way first impressions aren't always best impressions. Just use good judgement, like always. You don't have to be rude, but if your senses tell you to feel defensive, it would be better to be rude than impulsive.
For the first question you could pat your pockets as you get ready to get into the car and say, "Oh shoot, I left my wallet a mile back when I stopped for something to eat. I have to go back and get it."
Haiku.
Hammock Hanger
02-11-2004, 10:48
To question 1: I hitched alone a lot. One time 2 guys stopped to pick me up. They seemed like nice guys but I made a deal with myself that I wouldn't go with 2 guys or in a Van. I thanked them very much and explained my situation and fears. They sai they promised not to hurt me just give me a ride. I told them I had to stick to my rules. They shrugged their shoulders and said okay. I think they understood, but ya know what if they didn't and were pissed, too bad. Women have a way of not wanting to hurt feelings, even those of a stranger. Another time it was raining and I really needed to get to the PO in Atkins. A guy stopped in a small beatup Toyota. He was on his way home from work. Kind of dirty, missing a few teeth, well you get the picture. I got in, held the handle of the door and swore I would jump if he turned of the main road. I knew exactly were the PO was. He noticed my anxiety and commented. I said "**** ya I'm nervous. I'm a woman hitching alone. Where I come from that is a ticket to a death ride." He smiled and promised not to divert from the main road. - I was in the PO for about 25-30 minutes getting a package sent home. When I came back out he was sitting there waiting for me. I said aren't you going the other way. He said he didn't want me tramatize by having to wait for another hitch. He drove me back to the motel and wished me luck. He really was a nice guy. ALWAYS, always go with your intuition, if the hairs on your neck go up, decline the ride, do not worry about hurting feelings.
2. Sometimes getting rid of an unwanted hiking partner means putting in a couple of really big mileage days that you know they can't keep up with. Or stay an extra day in town, or skip a planned town stop that you know they must take. There are indirect (I won't say devious) ways to lose someone.
Sue.Hammock Hanger:bse
Two questions:
1. When you're hitching, what's the best way to decline a ride from someone who gives you a bad vibe? ("No thanks, I'll just walk," doesn't seem very plausible when it's pouring rain and you're way outside of town.)
2. How do you politely disengage yourself from hiking any further with someone you've joined up with after you realize she or he is obnoxious/boorish/overbearing/knowitall/loud/racist/whatever (not dangerous, just unpleasant to be around)?
squirrel bait
02-11-2004, 11:44
In the seventies I hitched back and forth to Colorado from Iowa about six times. Whenever I felt bad vibes about a ride I always said," I was just waiting for my ride and I thought you were it, my parents have the same kinda of car/truck and I was funning them thinking I was hitchiking". I think you could substitute brother/fellow hikers and have the same effect. No one every questioned me farther and if they would have, well, then I would have really been on alert. Good luck on your hike and let someone now where you are/supposed to be. For what it's worth, we never held out our thumbs, we just waved at everyone, :welcome we thought we were skirting the law that way and it made for interesting conversation when we did get rides.
Two questions:
1. When you're hitching, what's the best way to decline a ride from someone who gives you a bad vibe? ................
2. How do you politely disengage yourself from hiking any further with someone you've joined up with after you realize she or he is obnoxious/boorish/overbearing/knowitall/loud/racist/whatever (not dangerous, just unpleasant to be around)?
i've never been one to hold back my "feelings" or "opinions."
1. I've NEVER turned down a ride while hitching...but, if i did get a bad vibe...i'd just say:... "thanks, but no thanks."
2. If i'm hiking with someone who is obnoxious or whatever....i just take a break....let them get in front of me a mile or so....& then resume my hike....
this is not usually a problem with me..because i'm a 2 mph(avg) hiker & most of the folks i hike with are 3 mph hikers......(they know i'll get there eventually!) :D
see ya'll UP the trail (eventually!)
Carry a Lady Derringer. That way if the ride 'just won't take no' for an answer or the leech companion is an obnoxious/boorish/pc type, you can get rid of 'em with no sweat.
Jester2000
02-12-2004, 03:57
So you want to decline a ride but you don't want to be rude? And everyone else here says to just be rude, which doesn't actually answer your question?
Here's what you do.
Look in your data book and find out the name of the town in the OPPOSITE direction of the way you want to go. If you get skeeved out by a potential hitch, ask them if you're headed in the right direction to get to that town. When they tell you it's in the opposite direction, thank them and let them be on their way. If they offer to turn around and take you there, say "no thanks!" Resume hitching when they leave.
That works, and you don't have to be rude, although you do have to be kind of a liar.
azchipka
02-12-2004, 04:39
1. Bad feeling about hitching i have never had a problem but part of it is related to the fact that when i hitch i take my badge out of my wallet and wear it, and also wear my side arm. The combitation of the two im pretty sure puts all the bad guys on edge enough to keep driving. The fact that my pack clearly says United States Border Patrol on it might help a bit, although I do think that this may be causing me to miss some rides from harmless people who have just made a couple mistakes in life, but i tend to get picked up pretty quick. But how to deal with it i would simply say no thanks and have the proper ability to defend yourself, perhaps mace.
2. From working in the park i have found i can pick up the pace enough for the person to not be willing to keep up with me. If the person is able to keep up with me and makes it to dinner time i dont set up camp at dinner but break out dinner and eat with them and then tell them i am going to get some night hiking done to catch up on some lost time. A day of covering 15 miles and then having the idea night hiking thrown at them is enough to get rid of 1/100 people. If this doesnt get rid of them and they push on with you be thankful having a partner for night hikes is always a good idea unless they wont shut up or insist on using a white light flashlight all night. In most cases if i find someone who can keep up with me through that I will let them stay with me, as i am hard pressed to find someone that can push through like that, but if they are really bad and just arnt taking the hint I will break down and say me and freddy need some alone time (read my trail journal and you will understand why this is funny and works almost all the time - see the gear (http://www.trailjournals.com/entry.cfm?trailname=1991) )
Jack Tarlin
02-12-2004, 14:33
I will probably get ripped for saying this...... I assure you I am not a sexist, an old fuddy-duddy, a male chauvinist, whatever....
That being said, I don't think it's a particularly good idea for women, especially solo women, to hitchike, period. I realize that there are times when this is difficult to avoid and there are times when one has no choice, but I've heard too many awful stories from too many people, both Trail folks and others. Giving advice on how one can sensibly hitch is fine, but I don't think it'll ever be an entirely safe thing to do. Unless you have no choice, I do NOT think that women should hitch-hike alone.
azchipka
02-12-2004, 16:07
I will probably get ripped for saying this...... I assure you I am not a sexist, an old fuddy-duddy, a male chauvinist, whatever....
That being said, I don't think it's a particularly good idea for women, especially solo women, to hitchike, period. I realize that there are times when this is difficult to avoid and there are times when one has no choice, but I've heard too many awful stories from too many people, both Trail folks and others. Giving advice on how one can sensibly hitch is fine, but I don't think it'll ever be an entirely safe thing to do. Unless you have no choice, I do NOT think that women should hitch-hike alone.
I second That
Hammock Hanger
02-12-2004, 17:27
Jack I didn't take your response as sexist, but damn isn't it great to be a MAN!! Sometimes ;D and NO it is never entirely safe to hitch alone and I told my daughters I would kill them if I ever heard they did such a stupid thing. If male hikers were around and it could be worked out I preferred it much better. There were stretches where I was alone for days at a time. Ya do what ya have to, but... well ya know. Glad to hear you are concerned for our safety Jack. I don't think you will get ripped for this reponse, the facts are the facts and somethings are not equal. Sue/HH
I will probably get ripped for saying this...... I assure you I am not a sexist, an old fuddy-duddy, a male chauvinist, whatever....
That being said, I don't think it's a particularly good idea for women, especially solo women, to hitchike, period. I realize that there are times when this is difficult to avoid and there are times when one has no choice, but I've heard too many awful stories from too many people, both Trail folks and others. Giving advice on how one can sensibly hitch is fine, but I don't think it'll ever be an entirely safe thing to do. Unless you have no choice, I do NOT think that women should hitch-hike alone.
1. Bad feeling about hitching i have never had a problem but part of it is related to the fact that when i hitch i take my badge out of my wallet and wear it, and also wear my sidearm. ............................./URL] )
Digital Ranger:
Leave your badge & "side arm" @ home...you'll cause more problems with them than solve.
see ya'll UP the trail
azchipka
02-13-2004, 07:05
Jaybird,
Was more referring to in the past then what I will be experiancing on this trip. Based on things i have heard about the AT and my own experiances on the Norhern section of the trail i completely agree with you on that one.