View Full Version : Kindness off of the trail
angewrite
07-24-2008, 12:47
I had an experience recently that has made me think about our attitudes towards non-hikers. I know people who will go out of their way to pick up a filthy, smelly, hitching thru or section hiker but would never pick up a clean shaven, well dressed, good ole fashioned hitch hiker.
On Mon I picked up a hitch hiker (after dropping off two LT thru-hikers) and gave him a ride to Burlington from Stowe. Nice enough guy, was on his way to Canada but wanted to see the sites first. I ran into him last night standing outside of a bar. I asked him how he was doing, where he was staying and all that. It turned out he had slept in a bus stop the previous night and would probably do the same that evening. It was raining and I felt bad so I bought him and his other hitch hiking/homeless friend a couple drinks and bought them dinner. Me being generally kind and slightly intoxicated invited them both to shower and spend the night at my place. (We all know how good a shower can feel and we've all been "there") They were both very, very kind hearted people and extremely grateful. This morning I realized just how stupid something like that can be off of the trail. Everything worked out ok and it made me think about the risks people take for us as hikers and how we could all stand to be a little kinder especially to non-hikers.
I had an experience recently that has made me think about our attitudes towards non-hikers. I know people who will go out of their way to pick up a filthy, smelly, hitching thru or section hiker but would never pick up a clean shaven, well dressed, good ole fashioned hitch hiker.
I give hitches to people. I've been on the receiving end.
Truth be told, most of the hitches I have given have been to people who look like thru-hikers (if with different gear): bearded, young, a little scruffy.
They probably see me (clean shaven, shaved head) and think why is the yupster picking me up. :) (Of course, I do have a small pick up...so maybe not...)
angewrite
07-24-2008, 12:56
I give hitches to people. I've been on the receiving end.
Truth be told, most of the hitches I have given have been to people who look like thru-hikers (if with different gear): bearded, young, a little scruffy.
They probably see me (clean shaven, shaved head) and think why is the yupster picking me up. :) (Of course, I do have a small pick up...so maybe not...)
I know people wonder why I (lone, white, professional female) am stopping to pick up some dirty hitch hiker. It only takes them a minute to figure it out. :eek:
A while back, when I had my first beater car and the new found ability to drive, I had a flat and was on the side of the road. I got out my spare and jack, and found out the hard way that lug nuts don't come off really easy when you only have that 12 inch long lug wrench that mounts in your spare compartment. As well as the fact that those little scissor jacks that fit so nicely into your trunk are not so stable. After a lot of cursing (I was on my way to my girlfriends house) and some baking in the hot sun, an old man and his wife stopped there car behind mine. I had long hair, was dressed like a punk, and could see the woman getting concerned as her husband said he was going to help. He got out, surveyed the situation, and got out real tools from his trunk. He decided that while I probably looked like trouble, I still needed help. Ever since then I have carried a good jack, a good lug wrench and even an old jacket for kneeling in the mud on. I myself have never had a flat since, but have stopped to help many others. I am not usually in a hurry, and often have the ten or fifteen minutes to help some one just like that old man helped me. Being kind to every one, especially when they are in need, hiker or not, is a better way to live. Just my 2 cents.
I have 2 daughters about your age 23 and 26. I think a lone woman picking up strangers, taking them home is extremely risky business. I would not recommend it. There are other ways to show kindness.
angewrite
07-24-2008, 13:29
I have 2 daughters about your age 23 and 26. I think a lone woman picking up strangers, taking them home is extremely risky business. I would not recommend it. There are other ways to show kindness.
Ok, I know taking them home wasn't the smartest thing in the world and I certainly will think twice before doing something like that again. But I also don't think it's much riskier than accepting a hitch or staying at a strangers home when offered on the trail.
Lone Wolf
07-24-2008, 13:31
I ran into him last night standing outside of a bar. It was raining and I felt bad so I bought him and his other hitch hiking/homeless friend a couple drinks. Me being generally kind and slightly intoxicated invited them both to shower and spend the night at my place.This morning I realized just how stupid something like that can be. Everything worked out ok....
...this time
...this time
Yeah, don't do that.
And watch your back the next day or two if you suspect they are still in the area. They know where you live now. Not trying to scare you, but they don't call 'em strangers for nothing. Just be safe.
there was a thread a while back that dealt with this issue. I came down on the side, that thinks, lone woman hitching rides, are taking exposing themselves to too much risk.
Old Grouse
07-24-2008, 13:42
Sorry Angewrite. I can't believe there's a father of a daughter anywhere that'll endorse taking in an itinerant stranger you met at a bar, however well-intentioned the act may be.
OG
there was a thread a while back that dealt with this issue. I came down on the side, that thinks, lone woman hitching rides, are taking exposing themselves to too much risk.
She didn't say she "exposed" herself. ;)
angewrite
07-24-2008, 14:15
Sorry Angewrite. I can't believe there's a father of a daughter anywhere that'll endorse taking in an itinerant stranger you met at a bar, however well-intentioned the act may be.
OG
You may want to re-read my original post.
The reason for this post was to point out that there are good decent people out there who are not hikers and they deserve our kindness as much as a hiker does. There are plenty of people out there that help out hikers not knowing anything about them or their lifestyles. Why can't a hiker do that for someone else?
I did not say that what I did was "smart" and I don't think everyone should go out and bring a homeless man home with them tonight.
I had the opportunity to get to know one of the guys during a 40 minute drive 2 days prior to running into him again outside of the bar. I felt bad for him and my female intuition on both occassions told me that he was a good person and deserving of my kindness.
Give me a break, I'm not a total moron http://trailplace.com/forums/images/smilies/wink.gif
Angewrite/Bobcat is a smart and tough cookie. Don't mess with her. :cool:
Give me a break, I'm not a total moron http://trailplace.com/forums/images/smilies/wink.gif
I think people are just expressing concern, tis all.
Normally, a young woman is at greater risk than say a 30-something year old guy who has (at times) looked much worse than the guys he gives hitches too. ;)
But, you were there and we were not. Seems like your gut instinct was correct.
Nice to know that for all the troubles in the world, there are still kind souls.
"Just be careful" is the phrase of the day for both genders.
Old Grouse
07-24-2008, 14:49
I didn't say I met him at a bar. I picked him up and got to know him during a 40 minute drive 2 days prior to seeing him again outside the bar.
Oh, okay, that makes me feel better (!). I know you're well aware of the risk and I, for one, appreciate your candor in posting the story for the sake of initiating a worthwhile discussion as to whether or why our hiker-friendliness should'nt extend to others.
My own take on it is that (to paraphrase Simon & Garfunkel) we sometimes see what we want to see and disregard the rest. Back in my prehistoric youth I had to learn that not everyone with long hair was cool. An A******* with long hair is just a long-haired A******. Today someone with a full pack and a scruffy mein may be a long-distance AT hiker, or they might be (some other kind of) a social misfit with massive psychoses. Can we accurately judge from the brand of their equipment or maybe some other outward sign?
Angwrite, I've read many of your posts and we've PM'd a time or two. I respect your level-headedness. You were there, you met these guys and made a judgment based on your experience and intuition. Hikers or not, some people do deserve help, while others don't, despite certain outward appearances. I'm just glad it worked out for you, and I'd say that as a point of philosophy, LD hikers are in a position to have experienced the kindness of others, and should be generous with help to all. But I still want to scream, "Don't do that again!." I'd rather see you give them a ride to a nearby hostel than to your home. Sorry.
OG
But I still want to scream, "Don't do that again!." I'd rather see you give them a ride to a nearby hostel than to your home. Sorry.
OG
Wise advice.
I know people wonder why I (lone, white, professional female) am stopping to pick up some dirty hitch hiker. It only takes them a minute to figure it out. :eek:
They ask me why, too. Some notice the trail stickers on the back of my truck and know why. For those who don't, I just say I've done my share of hitching and like to give back.
Most the hitchers I pick up are late teens/early 20s and just doing their (perceived version) of the Jack Kerouac thing. In a few years, most of them have plans to go to grad school. And in ten years, they'll probably be clean shaven, balding (with a shaved head), picking up hitch hikers and boring THEM with stories of when they hitch hiked. Not that I know anyone like that...
angewrite
07-25-2008, 08:09
They ask me why, too. Some notice the trail stickers on the back of my truck and know why. For those who don't, I just say I've done my share of hitching and like to give back.
Most the hitchers I pick up are late teens/early 20s and just doing their (perceived version) of the Jack Kerouac thing. In a few years, most of them have plans to go to grad school. And in ten years, they'll probably be clean shaven, balding (with a shaved head), picking up hitch hikers and boring THEM with stories of when they hitch hiked. Not that I know anyone like that...
LOL, I guess it's just the way it goes. I hope everyone that you've given a ride to (and that I've given a ride to) at some point in their lives are able to help someone else out along the way.
Two Speed
07-25-2008, 08:19
It's called "giving back."
Hammock Hanger
07-25-2008, 08:30
When I am driving in the area of the AT I will always stop to give an hiker with a pack a ride. I think nothing of it. However, I never pick up hitchhikers anywhere else. I look at them and feel bad because I know what it is like to be standing there hoping...
Outside of the AT corridor my "sense of survival is much stronger and I was taught never pick up a hitchhiker it is dangerous". That is kind of a weird thought from someone who got into strangers cars while hiking...
I have 3 daughters and have told them all NOT to pick up hitchhikers, it is just not a safe practice.
We all have to use our heads. My thinking is that she just had her intuition finely honed by a 2100 mile thru and used her 'gut check ' before making her decision.
angewrite
07-25-2008, 08:41
It's called "giving back."
Exactly. Much like the premiss of the movie Pay It Forward. If anyone hasn't seen it yet, I highly recommend going out to rent it this weekend.
Two Speed
07-25-2008, 08:44
Mmm hmm. Still the folks telling you to be careful aren't being hateful, they'd just hate to hear you got hurt.
Actually HH's post brought up a good point: a lot of this, particularly picking up hitchhikers isn't logically consistent. Of course a lot of life isn't logically consistent, so that'll always be a problem. :-?
Short version: kindness is good, but don't forget personal safety. It all matters at the same time.
I don't think telling you to be careful is bad at all, IMO bringing two MALE complete strangers into your home and having them spend the night is one of the craziest things I have ever heard! But to each their own :)
angewrite
07-25-2008, 11:13
I don't think telling you to be careful is bad at all, IMO bringing two MALE complete strangers into your home and having them spend the night is one of the craziest things I have ever heard! But to each their own :)
There's nothing wrong with someone expressing warranted concern or to remind someone to be careful.
What does bother me is that as a female so many people have a problem with me helping out a male. Where as if I had helped out another female it would not be as much of an issue, if an issue at all. Regardless of gender, safety is an issue but no one should ever assume that it is "safer" to help out a woman than it is to help out a man or that women shouldn't help men because of gender bias.
There is a gender bias here because more woman have been brutally beaten, raped, and murdered by men than by other women.
Lone Wolf
07-25-2008, 11:25
There's nothing wrong with someone expressing warranted concern or to remind someone to be careful.
What does bother me is that as a female so many people have a problem with me helping out a male. Where as if I had helped out another female it would not be as much of an issue, if an issue at all. Regardless of gender, safety is an issue but no one should ever assume that it is "safer" to help out a woman than it is to help out a man or that women shouldn't help men because of gender bias.
lotsa women helped out ted bundy. 30 + are dead
There's nothing wrong with someone expressing warranted concern or to remind someone to be careful.
What does bother me is that as a female so many people have a problem with me helping out a male. Where as if I had helped out another female it would not be as much of an issue, if an issue at all. Regardless of gender, safety is an issue but no one should ever assume that it is "safer" to help out a woman than it is to help out a man or that women shouldn't help men because of gender bias.
It's a tough call. I understand the men (who are fathers) giving you the advice they are delving out. I also understand your passion to help others who may be less fortunate. I've felt the same pull between common sense/safety and the 'Mother Theresa' factor if you will :)
While volunteering in New Orleans, I stepped away from my community site to help a man find a job. This was not within my volunteer duties. I realized while I was helping him how desperate he was. His urgency for money, to hlp his family and to put food on the table. I didn't know him, which is precisely the problem. He could have taken advantage, or worse, but didn't. I took a chance (and found him a job!) to help out a fellow human.
Moral of the story, trust your gut, but stay smart. It's a fine line between doing a nice thing and getting burned. This is particularly true for women, in light of what happened this past New Years. This is a valuable skill for the trail,life and beyond.
While I would hope that you would pick up my scurvid hide were it me, if you were my younger sister or brother I would ask you to self-smack. (That is when you smack yourself upside the head.)
There's nothing wrong with someone expressing warranted concern or to remind someone to be careful.
What does bother me is that as a female so many people have a problem with me helping out a male. Where as if I had helped out another female it would not be as much of an issue, if an issue at all. Regardless of gender, safety is an issue but no one should ever assume that it is "safer" to help out a woman than it is to help out a man or that women shouldn't help men because of gender bias.
No there is definitely nothing wrong with expressing concren at all, that is not a bad trait to have at all.
My concern for you would be that these two men decided to flip the switch when you were sleeping and have their way with what ever they would like, including you. And unless your a black belt, have a gun under your pillow, or some other way to fend off said STRANGERS then bringing them into your home was an extremely risky move, regardless of what you might have THOUGHT of their character. You know the old saying "you can't judge a book by it's cover"? I'm glad everything worked out for you and you were able to help some people, but if it had gone another way it would have been sad...
I think that is what this thread is about..picking up strangers.
I my self have given rides to hikers a bunch of times. It is a nice thing to do and getting to a road miles from town, a hitch may be necessary.
However, I think feeling so sorry for them that you buy them dinner AND drinks, AND invite them home to your place.. that is going a bit too far. Especially considering they weren't hikers. It is risky.
As I have said I have given rides to many people, Angewrite included. I don't consider it a risky act giving a hiker a ride. If I did I surely wouldn't offer the ride. I don't think the avg driver is taking much of a risk when he/she picksup hikers. It's a pretty safe group.
But, going back to the original post in this thread.. picking up a hitch hiker, hiker or not, is an act of kindness that we should not take for granit (sp?). It does involve a certain amount of trust. Imgaine if no one trusted anyone.. how much harder it would be to hike the AT?
DavidNH
Blissful
07-25-2008, 14:50
I won't give rides to strangers, even with backpacks. That's why my hubby and son are for. And a woman shouldn't hitch alone either. We live in different times. And way too many women have been hurt (one was raped hitching on the AT this year) or killed. It doesn't matter if you know karate. So did Meredith Emerson who was a tough cookie and yet look what a weirdo with a backpack did to her. Play it safe with strangers.
Blue Jay
07-25-2008, 15:18
Exactly. Much like the premiss of the movie Pay It Forward. If anyone hasn't seen it yet, I highly recommend going out to rent it this weekend.
Now if the movie was Fear it Forward they would watch it. Life is a risk from beginning to end. Yes helping humans and trusting them (oh the horror) is risky. Remember there is a huge risk not helping people and being afraid all your life.
Bare Bear
07-25-2008, 16:52
Actually there is every reason to believe that Ted Bundy killed over 100 women. Picking up hitchers of any kind AT or not, is a lot safer if you have a pickup truck where they can get into the back and you can keep the inside of the vehicle secure. It also has the pratical use of helping to keep the stink out. I have been amazed at the rides I got when I KNEW how I smelled.
Me being generally kind and slightly intoxicated invited them both to shower and spend the night at my place.
based on the odds, I 'd say you are lucky to still be among the living. :eek:
based on the odds, I 'd say you are lucky to still be among the living. :eek:
what odds? only bad stuff is reported. kindnesses rarely are. bobcat reports a kindness and rather than praising her, we are telling her she did a bad thing. we weren't there to know if perhaps she actually did know these fellas enough to trust, yet we say no way. most bad stuff happens between two people who have known each other a long time. leave her be.
fiddlehead
07-26-2008, 02:03
Reminds me of a similar situation when i took two young Canadians home for a nights sleep and some cleaning up. They were just asking for a cheap place to spend the night as it was cold and after talking to them for a while, i gladly took them home and we became friends.
They were organic farmers as I had been working at a few of these type farms in my life and they ended up giving me a great book on timing your planting as best as you can.
A very enjoyable experience.
Of course, i am a guy and have travelled a bit myself and put myself in people's shoes.
I believe the OP did the same and had probably an enjoyable experience because of it.
Not everyone is a crook, mugger, killer, evil person. I believe after talking to someone for a few hours, you can decide if they are genuine or not. If you can't, maybe you shouldn't talk to strangers.
angewrite
07-27-2008, 12:57
Reminds me of a similar situation when i took two young Canadians home for a nights sleep and some cleaning up. They were just asking for a cheap place to spend the night as it was cold and after talking to them for a while, i gladly took them home and we became friends.
They were organic farmers as I had been working at a few of these type farms in my life and they ended up giving me a great book on timing your planting as best as you can.
A very enjoyable experience.
Of course, i am a guy and have travelled a bit myself and put myself in people's shoes.
I believe the OP did the same and had probably an enjoyable experience because of it.
Not everyone is a crook, mugger, killer, evil person. I believe after talking to someone for a few hours, you can decide if they are genuine or not. If you can't, maybe you shouldn't talk to strangers.
Some people just don't understand that there are some really good people out there. And they aren't all hikers ;)
what odds? only bad stuff is reported. kindnesses rarely are. bobcat reports a kindness and rather than praising her, we are telling her she did a bad thing. we weren't there to know if perhaps she actually did know these fellas enough to trust, yet we say no way. most bad stuff happens between two people who have known each other a long time. leave her be.
Why is it that only bad news is reported? I think that is primarily the reason why people think that on bad things will happen if they go out of their way to help a stranger. Everyone should think about how many non-hikers helped them while they thru or sectioned hiked the trail. Now how many non-hikers have they helped? They took a risk in helping them (probably could tell they were good people) so why not take a risk in helping out another non-hiker if they seem like good people?
Now if the movie was Fear it Forward they would watch it. Life is a risk from beginning to end. Yes helping humans and trusting them (oh the horror) is risky. Remember there is a huge risk not helping people and being afraid all your life.
When did trusting become such a bad thing? I understand that the world at large has been slipping fast but there are some genuinely good and deserving people out there. Aren't we all good and deserving people? Do the people on here really think that hikers are so much better than other people?
modiyooch
07-27-2008, 15:52
In response to your original question, when we help a fellow hiker, we are helping them reach a goal. I think that there is a distinction. I volunteer with the homeless. I am naive at times and go out on the limb. It's a learning process. Helping is one thing; enabling is another. Please be careful. It's not so much the person , but the surrounding situation. There are other more constructive ways you can help, not to mention-safe.
EX: If we have someone sleeping at the bus station or the woods, it means that person won't stop drugs or alcohol long enough to accept a shower and a bed at the local shelter.
Some people just don't understand that there are some really good people out there. And they aren't all hikers ;)
Why is it that only bad news is reported? I think that is primarily the reason why people think that on bad things will happen if they go out of their way to help a stranger. Everyone should think about how many non-hikers helped them while they thru or sectioned hiked the trail. Now how many non-hikers have they helped? They took a risk in helping them (probably could tell they were good people) so why not take a risk in helping out another non-hiker if they seem like good people?
When did trusting become such a bad thing? I understand that the world at large has been slipping fast but there are some genuinely good and deserving people out there. Aren't we all good and deserving people? Do the people on here really think that hikers are so much better than other people?
Great points you bring up. Positive is so much better than negative thoughts. I am like you,I really enjoy helping folks. My wife thinks I am a sentimental push-over,maybe so...but I rather go without than see someone else go without. Just my nature I guess. Oh,and like you I can tell right from wrong when its time to trust/or not trust. Been burned about 1% of the time,sucked...but I learned from it. I just can't be going around looking at everyone like they are going to take advantage of me.
angewrite
07-27-2008, 19:49
EX: If we have someone sleeping at the bus station or the woods, it means that person won't stop drugs or alcohol long enough to accept a shower and a bed at the local shelter.
That is not necessarily true. Sometimes the shelters are full, sometimes they don't know where the shelters are or show up late. Every situation is different.
angewrite,
I agree with you. Every scenario is different,you have to go by your gut feeling.
BTW,Burlington seems to be a great place. I would trust just about anyone in that area. Healthy peace love and granola types in my book. Down to earth folks.I want to spend more time in the area,but all my time seems to be spent seeing friends and family at Fletcher Allen Hospital there. Terrible reason to be in VT,but I have no choice. I also love the gear ex-change,bought my last pack there.
Hang in there,you should not be ridiculed for being generous and honest.
modiyooch
07-27-2008, 22:01
That is not necessarily true. Sometimes the shelters are full, sometimes they don't know where the shelters are or show up late. Every situation is different.
yes, and you can point someone to a shelter. I was referring to my city and the group that I try to help. Every situation indeed is different, but they can also be quite volatile.
Ok, I know taking them home wasn't the smartest thing in the world and I certainly will think twice before doing something like that again. But I also don't think it's much riskier than accepting a hitch or staying at a strangers home when offered on the trail.Maybe...maybe not, but fact is we all judge for ourselves what feels safe. 100 years ago it might have been considered discourteous not to feed a stranger and put him up if he happened by. There were 5 billion less people and no news on tv to scare everyone, but your chances of running afoul of a murderer or something might have actually been greater than today. We just hear about it more because the news makes money from scaring us and encouraging our outrage. Maybe simple kindness is worth the risk, as it was to so many more people a hundred years ago. I say, if you weren't there you can't judge.
The comments have migrated into three areas:
1) Giving obvious backpackers hitching a ride - a good thing to do
2) Giving a non-backpacker, possibly a drifter or shady character a ride - risky whether your are a lone male or female.
3) A lone female giving any male stranger a ride - extremely risky. You have a kind and generous spirit, but you should refrain from doing this. We don't want to read about your sad demise in the media.
modiyooch
07-27-2008, 22:30
I do feel that the people on the streets are harmless in it of themselves. It's the surrounding issues that concern me. Guns, drugs and violence. I do not want to subject my family to these dangers. I have a friend on the street that is struggling. She is approached daily in regards to drugs.
what odds? only bad stuff is reported. kindnesses rarely are. bobcat reports a kindness and rather than praising her, we are telling her she did a bad thing. we weren't there to know if perhaps she actually did know these fellas enough to trust, yet we say no way. most bad stuff happens between two people who have known each other a long time. leave her be.
I agree.
Steven Newman (Worldwalker) walked around the World alone in the mid 80's and counted on the kindness of strangers, thousands of them, during his 4 year odyssey. Yes he had a couple of run ins (the ugly stories we here about) but as far as the odds go he discovered that tens of thousands of acts of kindness occurred compared to a few desperate self centered acts. Keep using that good intuition. It's great to here of acts of kindness. I know in my life it is a blessing to help someone who needs it and appetites it. As a father I worry about my yong adult children too and would do anything to protect them, but ultimatly they are capable adults and will make their own choices.
angewrite
07-28-2008, 13:03
The comments have migrated into three areas:
3) A lone female giving any male stranger a ride - extremely risky. You have a kind and generous spirit, but you should refrain from doing this. We don't want to read about your sad demise in the media.
I kindly disagree and I don't think anyone should try to scare women away from helping men. Have you ever received a hitch from a woman? I am certain you have. What's the next step, a lone woman should never accept a ride from a man? I think we just need to keep our eyes open and use a little common sense. There is no reason to generalize, I am just as likely to harm someone as you are.
Have you ever received a hitch from a woman?
Yeah, I prefer getting picked up by women! Try not to listen to the naysayers, you did fine. Nothing to apologize for.
Yeah, I prefer getting picked up by women! Try not to listen to the naysayers, you did fine. Nothing to apologize for.
besides, I am pretty sure that bobcat has claws! ;)
angewrite
07-28-2008, 13:21
besides, I am pretty sure that bobcat has claws! ;)
And teeth and Leki poles ;-)
And teeth and Leki poles ;-)
Claws are good, teeth no so, what do you do with leki's? :D
angewrite
07-28-2008, 13:26
Claws are good, teeth no so, what do you do with leki's? :D
one time, at a shelter... :eek:
one time, at a shelter... :eek:
when you was alone? :D
twosticks
07-28-2008, 13:44
a crazy hitch hiker came in and...
angewrite
07-28-2008, 14:01
a crazy hitch hiker came in and...
Offered me some beer, to buy me dinner and put me up for the night but I declined because he was a MAN and I was told to NEVER accept kindness from a man because I'd end up dead. :eek:
So I drank water, ate Ramen and was eaten by mosquitos all night :(
Offered me some beer, to buy me dinner and put me up for the night but I declined because he was a MAN and I was told to NEVER accept kindness from a man because I'd end up dead. :eek:
So I drank water, ate Ramen and was eaten by mosquitos all night :(
BS! That ain't what happend at all. :D
i feel like i have a lot to pay forward,
I've never given a non-backpacker a hitch, not saying that i won't do it, but its not very likely...
when people find out about my hiking and the question comes up about hitching, i make sure to give them advice about what to look for in a legitimate backpacker hitching a ride at/near a trail and let them know that its a safe person to give a hitch too
I always carry some kinda food in my car: granola, fruit, bottles of water, etc... when i see a homeless person begging, I will give them food or water, never money,
even then i'm cautious and try to avoid 'crackheads', its amazing how many times i've been turned down, but then there are those who's eyes light up at a granola bar, those i ask to pay it forward when they can...
twosticks
07-28-2008, 16:24
Offered me some beer, to buy me dinner and put me up for the night but I declined because he was a MAN and I was told to NEVER accept kindness from a man because I'd end up dead. :eek:
So I drank water, ate Ramen and was eaten by mosquitos all night :(
so the next day...
... There is no reason to generalize, I am just as likely to harm someone as you are.
That just ain't so. Stranger men injure a lot more women than the other way around.
angewrite
07-28-2008, 16:44
That just ain't so. Stranger men injure a lot more women than the other way around.
Stranger women injuring men happens a lot more than is reported, it has something to do with the male ego...
Stranger women injuring men happens a lot more than is reported...
How would you know that?
How would you know that?
I didn't report her...
I kindly disagree and I don't think anyone should try to scare women away from helping men. Have you ever received a hitch from a woman? I am certain you have. What's the next step, a lone woman should never accept a ride from a man? I think we just need to keep our eyes open and use a little common sense. There is no reason to generalize, I am just as likely to harm someone as you are.Scare women? Oh really? All I offered is common sense in a generalized form. It's certainly your call as to whether you take heed or not! :eek: And yes I can recall a couple of times being offered a ride by women, one alone and the other time it was a couple of women. While I certainly appreciated the ride, I was somewhat amazed that they did that and would stand by my statement that even in the case of me, these ladies were taking a big risk. As it turned out, I'm a nice guy :) , but they couldn't have been certain of that.
Since it is impossible to make an accurate character assessment of someone you see standing on the side of the road as you approach with your vehicle, deciding to take that person into your vehicle IS assuming unnecessary risk, is it not?
modiyooch
07-28-2008, 19:27
I'll never be as strong as a man, but I do believe I could hold my own against a woman. There is no contest if there is a gun.
Bare Bear
07-28-2008, 23:43
LOL. All of this reminded me of two little old ladies near Bemis Stream. They got lost and I helped them find their car on a road nearby. One wanted to take me "home, laundry, meal, bed, bake me a pie"; the other was horrified so I begged off. The next morning I saw a small bear right by my camp. So I missed the pie but have a mind picture of that bear forever. No hitch hikers nor drivers were injured during the making of my hike. I did suffer a few hangovers.
... One wanted to take me "home, laundry, meal, bed, bake me a pie"; the other was horrified ...
Kind of sums up the physiological spectrum out there...love involves risk:rolleyes:.
angewrite
07-29-2008, 08:55
One wanted to take me "home, laundry, meal, bed, bake me a pie"; the other was horrified so I begged off.
Wow, pie! Never thought of that one ;) I'll have to keep some apples handy for the next homeless person/ hiker I run into so I can bake them one of my world famous pies :D
Doesn't all of this make you wish it was 1950 again and everyone was a little more kind, a little more accepting and a little more generous?
It's funny but in terms of generosity it's amazing that most people would rather give money (somewhat meaningless gesture in my mind) than give their time. Are we all really that busy? :confused:
Bearpaw88
07-29-2008, 09:46
Doesn't all of this make you wish it was 1950 again and everyone was a little more kind, a little more accepting and a little more generous?
It's funny but in terms of generosity it's amazing that most people would rather give money (somewhat meaningless gesture in my mind) than give their time. Are we all really that busy? :confused:
Hey Bobcat,
I avoided posting on this thread because I know you and trust your judgment. I agree with you that the gift of time and kindness is a wonderful thing.
I am not sure if the 1950's contained more kindness than now. I think it is a kind of Norman Rockwell nostalgia. There were crazies 1000 years ago, 100 years ago, and now.
I think I recall us talking about picking up hitch hikers last time I saw you. I wouldn't pick up two guys alone. If I were with someone yes, but there are also ways to be kind without putting yourself at risk.
Maybe personal experience has jaded me. I am glad everything turned out all right, and it was nice of you to be so kind.:) I do worry though.