Coming back to responsibilities and the long distance hiker

[soulrebel]

What happens to the hikers who just can't seem to reintegrate into the daily grind of life? I know a few and I, myself, still have one foot stuck on the trail. I get by, but what about the folks that just get stressed out from having to take care of "stuff" that comes with living in a home and having a job.

What can they do to harness the frustration from all of the lil' things that "can and do" go wrong, especially in the cities? Where is there solace, why do things have to blowup?

Life is always some good and some bad. But what if trail life and the freedom it provides makes the bad seem worse than it was before. I know someone afflicted real bad like...and short of another long hike--not feasible atm, don't know what to do for 'em, thinking a long hike just would make it worse, anyways.

How do you get them to put the hat and the apron and nametag back on? I mean, HIKER trash till the end, but jeez, at some point stuff has to get done, especially if you wanna hike again.

I've liquidated a lot of useless junk in my house, but if you own a fridge and an oven, bathroom and stuff you gotta clean them eventually don't you?

For those On permanent vacation,

HElp! lol

[fiddlehead]

Well, life should get simpler.
Lessons are learned on a thru-hike (especially the 1st one) that help you deal with life and it's blowdowns.
Things that would've frustrated you in the past tend to get looked on like just another blowdown on the trail, nothing to get upset about, nothing that can be done about it except to start looking for the way around it.
You may start walking to work instead of driving and enjoying the scenery and nature more along the way.
Or you may change your career totally and get into something that is more in tune with your new found passion in life: to live it more fully.
Anyway, these are things that happened to me and some of my friends.

We changed our lives so that we could hike more and spend quality time in nature rather than joining the rat race or sheep herd and moving thru life with your head down and shuffling your feet.
Up to you of course.

[soulrebel]

We changed our lives so that we could hike more and spend quality time in nature rather than joining the rat race or sheep herd and moving thru life with your head down and shuffling your feet.
Up to you of course.


Can you clarify a bit? Do you mean extended hikes or just getting out every weekend/holidays? Did you get an outdoors job in the industry (outfitters) or a forestry job with the govt, a farm? And if so, were you able to raise a family on that income or was it a struggle? Just having trouble with the numbers game, the whole uprooting to live a simpler life--seems too good to be true, everything has its price. I'm not concerned about giving up things for the adults in the household, but more the children. Do they even need a home with four walls?

Thx for takin the time.

[Pokey2006]

Long distance hiking certainly does prompt changes in one's life. And change is always hard. But it's hardest when we try to resist it and cling to the ways things used to be. You've already simplified some things in your life; don't be afraid to continue making changes along those lines. Go with the flow.

Change is a process that takes time and strength. Try to decide where you want to be in the end of that process, and just go with it.

Beyond that, I can't help you...two years later, I'm still trying to answer these questions for myself! But I've been going with it, and I think I'm getting closer to where I'm meant to be. Best of luck to you as you figure out your own path.

[Kirby]

Transition has been difficult, especially since very few people on the home front have interest in my hike. My Dad has not asked me a single question about my hike since my first day back, and he recently told me I've changed for the worst.

Kirby

[bikerscars]

be good (do the right thing)
be happy
leave it better than you found it

this are the 3 simple guidelines i believe in and try to teach by example to my children...
trying to live up to other's expectations (if not our own) has the tendency to make us unhappy...
you have to be true to yourself...
finding a way for your loved ones to understand your choices can be a challenge...
a guidepost i try to rememeber that in the end-on your deathbed-will the life i'm living leave me at peace or will the choices i've made leave me with regret...

$0.02

[rafe]

Transition has been difficult, especially since very few people on the home front have interest in my hike. My Dad has not asked me a single question about my hike since my first day back, and he recently told me I've changed for the worst.

Kirby

It's like at the end of Lord Of The Rings... when the Hobbits return to a peaceful Hobbiton... with the locals blissfully unaware of the epic adventures that Frodo, Sam, Pippin and Merry have experienced.

[smaaax]

It's like at the end of Lord Of The Rings... when the Hobbits return to a peaceful Hobbiton... with the locals blissfully unaware of the epic adventures that Frodo, Sam, Pippin and Merry have experienced.

That's exactly it, my group compared a thru-hike to the series and there are a ton of parallels.

[Pokey2006]

I do think it's possible to "change for the worst," especially when it comes to dealing with other people. Six months of living in the woods is good for washing away many of our social graces.

[fiddlehead]

Can you clarify a bit? Do you mean extended hikes or just getting out every weekend/holidays? Did you get an outdoors job in the industry (outfitters) or a forestry job with the govt, a farm? And if so, were you able to raise a family on that income or was it a struggle? Just having trouble with the numbers game, the whole uprooting to live a simpler life--seems too good to be true, everything has its price. I'm not concerned about giving up things for the adults in the household, but more the children. Do they even need a home with four walls?

Thx for takin the time.

I started a business selling outdoor gear.
I also drifted more into things that i liked to do rather than just ones that make money. (for example: i almost always carry a guitar when i hike and play it everyday, now i am a professional musician and couldn't have done it without all those practice hours out in the woods)

I now have a family (3 year old boy and Thai wife) and feel what you are talking about more and more. I only had to worry about feeding and housing myself before, now it's a whole different ball game and i struggle much more to make enough for them.

I want my boy to have a good education and that is going to cost a bundle.
I hope to be able to do it on the money i make now, if not, i'll pass that blowdown when i come to it.

I do look for different ways to support them but no. 1 has always been to enjoy what i do. I have not worked for others since 1978 and don't know if i still could. It'd be hard to make THAT change but of course, it could be done.

One thing i've discovered after all my hiking: I can do anything i set my mind out to do. ("it's more head than heel" in both worlds.)

[Tipi Walter]

Here is one of my not-so-recent posts on the subject:

http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?t=33308&page=2

It's all about the choices we make, especially in the important years between the ages of about 18 to 30. In those years most people are nearly unconscious to the impact their life choices will have in later years. For example, many people in that age bracket get married and bring forth children, and there's no greater impediment to living outdoors(whether living in a tent/tipi/primitive shelter or backpacking a long trail), than taking on the responsibilities of having kids.

While it's true that the outdoor life of backpacking is synonymous with freedom, it's difficult to find such freedom when shackled by choices that tie a person to home payments, living on the grid, having a full time job, and the frustrations that come with living in a city.

But every problem has a solution, and even those people who feel chained to the unnatural life can find some relief by setting up a permanent basecamp tent in their backyard and by sleeping out every night, expecially in the winter. And to take what time is given for weekend backpacking trips and vacations, etc.

The people I have known who have lived outdoors permanently did not have children and were willing to work minimally and make just enough money to get food and kerosene for their lamps. And they were comfortable pulling in around 5 to 6 thousand dollars a year. Having no vehicle to support and maintain is also an important consideration. I went many years w/o a car and either walked or hitchhiked to my destinations, and then later got a small motorcycle which was very cheap to maintain.

Anyway, its all about personal choices.

[Mags]

Before a thru-hike, many people discuss the plans before th trail and what being on the trail will be like. Few people ask what it is like when you FINISH the trail. Adjusting to life after the trail can be interesting.


The following came from discussions I've had on e-mail hiking groups. Food for thought.

It is always there, of course, when you come back from the green world. You
have been living by sunrise and sunset, by wind and rain, surrounded by the
ebb and flow of lives that respond only to such simple, rhythmic elements.
But now the tone and tempo of the days switch. Instead of harmony, jangle.
--Colin Fletcher, WINDS OF MARA


I wrote these two posts on the Pacific Crest Trail mailing list. May be appropriate for the discussion. Kinda long. Kinda personal. You may or may not find it appropriate.

From December 2005:

As I mentioned, gear discussions are nice. It is the nuts and bolts of our passion.

But, gear is not what hiking is all about (for me anyway). Part of the allure of hiking for me is the journey. A wilderness pilgrimage where I immeressed in beauty for months at a time. Part of the journey is
the arrival back home. It is the part of the journey seldom talked about. Adjusting post trail can be interesting.


Below is something I wrote back 2003 on another hiking list, less than a year after I finished the PCT. Seems appropriate for this list. Maybe some of you will get something out of it. Maybe some of you will think what I wrote is a big pile of steaming crap. But it is most definitely PCT (and long distance hiking in general)
related.

Read it. Enjoy. Or not.

From 2003:

Re-adjusting after the AT was just brutal. Most of the people who have been on this list for a while know the story of what I found out the day after I finished the AT, but to re-cap for those who are new here (1999
on!):

August 1st, 1998. Finished the Appalachian Trail (AT). Easily one of the happiest days of my life. One of my best friends, who I have known since Catholic school days, hiked the last week of the trail with me. My youngest brother and other friends met us at Katahdin Stream campground at 7am.

Still remember the day clearly. The ponds were misting for the day was cool, but warming quickly. The two miles from Daicey to Katahdin were strange. Almost dream like. Five mos of hiking about to come to an end. But I arrived in the parking lot, and there was Steve (brother), Leo, Jim and Steve (friend). They hadn't seen me in 5 mos, never saw me with a beard, and couldn't believe how I looked (or smelled!).

Climbed to the Tableland with them. But, as soon as I saw the Katahdin sign, I sped up. All but Steve and Tim fell behind. Reach the sign, hollered, took my picture (with a full watermelon I carried to the summit). The others arrived and pulled out a feast. Leo packed in a bottle of Dom (!). My first and only time drinking a $100 bottle of champagne. They also sprayed me down with sparkling wine. They said I smelled better stinking of cheap booze! We also had cold-cuts, bagels, cheese, fresh fruit. As Squanto said "Your friends packed an Italian deli to the summit!".

Indeed.

Also puffed on some convenience store stogies my brother packed in. Reminded me of why I don't smoke...

Happy..happy..happy..very happy day.

August 2nd, 1998. Shaved, showered, clean clothes. Somewhere on I-95 getting back to RI. The rental car became very quiet. My brother, who had just graduated from high school, said "Paul. There's sometihng I have to tell you".

That line is usually not a good way to start a conversation...

"While you were away, our parents separated. The family house has been sold"...

ME: "What about the dog?"

(the family pet of fifteen yrs)

STEVE: "She's been put to sleep".

(She had arthritis extremely bad before I left..had lost most of her sight while I was away)

Ouch.

As you can imagine the double whammy of getting used to civilization after 5 mos of exploring the woods and getting used to the idea that the previous 24 yrs of my life just does not exist made for an interesting time. Pulling up to the family home seeing a SOLD sign on the front lawn, finding all my belongings in cardboard boxes and having two weeks to find a place to live (when I did not expect to) was a bit overwhelming.

Needless to say, 1999 was a difficult year for me. Felt lost. No one in my family could relate really. I was supposed to have "gotten it" out of my system. At 24, I was supposed to start thinking of serious things. And Rhode Island is not exactly a mecca for people who value the outdoors as something to be cherished.

Coming from a conservative, blue-collar, Catholic background was not supposed to do things like dreaming of taking big adventures. One was supposed to be more than enough. Time to get a good job, meet a nice girl, start a family. (Come to think of it..they still say
that. :) ) My friends, with the exception of one friend, wondered when I was going to "snap out of it" as well.

Long story short...needed a change and moved to Colorado one year to the day I ended the AT. Wanted to get away and start fresh, if you will. Was not the first person who looked West to reinvent myself. Tim kicked me in the ass to get a move on. Basically said "You aren't happy. Do something about it!" Good friends are like that...

Moving to Colorado was an adventure in itself. I might as well have moved to Guam. For most of my friends and family, going to Boston (1 hr away), was a road trip. Being 2000 miles away? Wow... Definitely became the black sheep in a family where all 6 children and all 16 grandchildren still lived within ten miles of each other. (On the other hand, when I do visit, I do get to pick whatever food I want for family meals. ;-) Oh yes..the family is now up to 4 great-grandchildren. Traditional Catholic family in more than a few ways... ;)

Think that is common for many people who finish a long trail. Feel adrift. Not sure what to do next. The goal you worked so hard for has been finished. Now what? Part of that feeling is physiological. Your energy level was absurdly high. The body becomes addicted to
that level. Then, the activity ceases abruptly. But, the big adjustment is psychological. Getting used to many people again. Getting used to living on a schedule that is not set by you. Going from your "office view" being the mountains to working in a cubicle again, wondering if you can get the extra day-off for along weekend.

I think I had a unique post-trail story, but sure of this story reflects, in some ways, for other thru-hikers, too.

My Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) PCT re-adjustment story was in someways better, someways worse. I figured doing the AT, would be ready for the post-trail "funk". Wrong.

First, the IT industry took a big nose dive in Colorado. Even more so than the rest of the country. Long story short, the job I had lined up before I left was no longer. The company was liquidated. The job I had was not best. I had trouble in large groups to the point I was visibly uncomfortable. People asked if I was OK. I am still like that in crowds, if a bit better than a year ago. I don't think I was really prepared for the physiological changes. I was so preoccupied with the family issues post-AT, that I did not notice the physiological issues at all. This time I did.

But, living in Boulder (which *IS* an outdoor mecca), had much more support from other people. People who may not have thru-hiked but have spent weeks or months biking in Europe. Climbing the Himalayas. Training for ultra-marathons. They could relate on some level. People who actually wanted to hear stories. Who nodded their heads and understood.

Also became heavily involved in my outdoor group. Took over the e-mail list, organized a bunch of trips. In short, found a new "project" right away. And I took up running, helping to keep up that physical activity. The combo of running and being involved in something really shortened the post-trail funk.

So, post-trail "funkiness" can be interesting. You feel lost, uncomfortable in "normal life". You miss the lifestyle terribly. Some people adjust better than others. Some keep on hiking. :-)

Anyway, that was my long, rambling post about my post-trail experiences. A bit awkward at times..but I adjusted. For the most part. ;-)
****

Postscript Dec 2005:

Here it is two years later after I made that post. Like many habitual offenders, I want to be on the trail again.

The Colorado Trail last year was but a tease! I don't know if I really adjusted if I still want to keep on doing a long hike. Kinda like a healthier (physically) junkie.

I once told my on again/off again girlfriend that after the CDT I'd be ready to settle down; one more big hike is all I need.

She looked at me with a Mona Lisa smile and said "You'll be saying that when you are 70". Ah..she knows me well!

She also once told me "The outdoors for you is not a hobby, it is a lifestyle".

Her two comments could apply to MANY of us.

So post-trail adjustment? I am afraid for many of us are in **PRE-trail** adjustment. We long for the next big adventure.

Is it healthy? Probably not. But it is the way many of us are. Trying to find the same sense of fulfillment in daily life can be difficult at times. Possible, but difficult... Still trying to balance wanderlust and stability.

Anyway..that's my nickels worth of rambling!

And another post from a woman asking what we did to combat post trail "funkiness": She had just finished the Pacific Crest Trail. Here was my advice:

--- "Sevenon7th:

> not. What I can tell you, is that this is real for
> me. I would love to hear from some folks who had
> similar feelings upon returning from trail life.
> How did you adjust?

Right now..get off the keyboard and do SOMETHING.

A lot of what you are experiencing right now is physiological. You are coming down from a drug (endorphin) high. Your body is addicted to the physical activity. To go from such a high level of activity to a little is hard.

I too was feeling lost when I returned from the PCT. And part of that was physical. I took up running in addition to my usual hiking. Not saying you have to go for a run..but a long walk would be nice. Do regular exercise..you'll feel better.

The other, much more important aspect, is the mental.

Your big goal is over..now what? Can you find something in life that gives you some focus?

For me, post-PCT, was becoming heavily involved in my outdoor group. I maintain the e-mail list, organize a boat load of trips and spend time with people who may not necessarily hike for 4-5 months, but can at least appreciate it on some level. Living in Boulder, I amlucky where I can find like minded people. My social circle is almost entirely made up of people I met through this outdoor group, too. In short, I formed a community that means as much to me as much as the community I formed on the trail.

If you look at my outdoor photos, you'll see many of the same faces (and one chocolate lab who I spoil way too much. Actually bought the dog Hanakuh biscuits. Sheesh..wait until my friends have kids!)

Keeping up my physical activity, having a focus and forming a community are what helped me adjust to the "real world". Living where I live (Boulder, CO) helps immensely too. But every community has some people you can relate to. In Boulder, it is easier. But if you look, you shall find.

The one part I am still struggling with is the yearning to do another big hike. Not sure if that ever goes away. Trying to balance a sense of wanderlust while still having a community and stability in my
life is something I struggle with myself. That, my friend, is the hardest post-trail challenge of all!

Good luck..hope this helps!.

February 2006 Another post script: My friends announced two weeks ago that they are going to have their first baby! Woo hoo! They thought I spoiled the dog, wait until they have the baby. "Uncle Mags", the crazy hiker trash uncle. ;-)

[Appalachian Tater]

Soulrebel, maybe you're looking at hiking as part of the cause when it's really a symptom.

[Tipi Walter]

After reading Mags interestng post, a few things jump out:

Fletcher's quote, "instead of harmony, jangle."

Mags "immersed in beauty for months . . ." and "re-adjusting after the AT was brutal" and "feel adrift".

And finally, "It's not a hobby, it's a lifestyle."

All I can say is that there some thngs more important than career or family or financial security or a higher standard of comfortable living. And there will always be a small group of people who hear the "call of the wild" and want to live in the "green world" of nature. Whether they be mountain climbers or backpackers or nylon hobos or jeremiah johnson-types or stealth camping bums, there will always be a small group on this North American continent hearing the old whispers of woolly mammoths and paleoindians stumbling thru snowbanks in the last Ice Age.

It's the ancient high and small voice that is still buried in our medullas even though the current culture and human construct does everything in its power to silence. And many people feel a lifelong jangle without it, not just when they get back to town after a long time on the trail. I call the cure for it "nursing at the teat of Mother Nature", and w/o her living-giving milk of wild solace, we are partially zombies sleep-walking and starving in an unreal world.

[Two Speed]

Don't have the experience that the previous posters have, but having been out for a month once or twice I will say that if you go for a long distance hike and really get into it you don't ever really come home again. You're just hanging around, waiting for the next chance to get out again.

[NICKTHEGREEK]

It's like at the end of Lord Of The Rings... when the Hobbits return to a peaceful Hobbiton... with the locals blissfully unaware of the epic adventures that Frodo, Sam, Pippin and Merry have experienced.
This might be a good time to reflect on something a bit more real perhaps soldiers returning from a 4th combat deployment and trying to adapt.

[Tipi Walter]

[quote=Two Speed;689990 You're just hanging around, waiting for the next chance to get out again.[/quote]

Totally agree with this statement. And for the encumbered, there are ways to kill time before the next trip:

Dayhikes
Tent-In-The-Backyard(sleep out every night--gotta get those bag nights)
Bicycle backroads and bike trails(explore-while-rolling)
Bicycling and Backpacking: The Two Great Sports(Stumpknocker should know)
Sit on Whiteblaze and squirm until the next trip.

[Christus Cowboy]

That's exactly it, my group compared a thru-hike to the series and there are a ton of parallels.

Yes there alot parallels.... and think if you re-watch the Lord of the Rings you will find more each time.... People in the civilized world view a thru as a long walk but those who experience it come to find that it is indeed an adventure and becomes a part of who you are.....

I'm looking forward to doing a thru one day and yes I'm concerned about that transition on the backside but that is why I'm waiting a couple of more years until the kids move out and my parenting responsibilities are greatly reduced.... After all when it comes to your children there are no repeat performances..... I realize that which is why I'm waiting.....

[Many Walks]

Soulrebel, everyone has good input. IMO with a family you'll need to do whatever you can to support them. Hopefully, you'll be able to channel your interest to the right activity to make some money while maintaining the lifestyle you desire. Along with the ongoing simple things like walking just to keep active and collect your thoughts, involving the family in frequent hiking/camping gets you in the woods and can be a tremendous education and enjoyment for your family. It may also be possible they may enjoy it so much you can plan extended annual trips together giving you something greater to look forward to. Always keep your eyes open to opportunities that may contribute to your income and desired lifestyle.

We planned for the afterhike by anticipating a drastic reduction in "stuff". Before the hike we sold our Iowa Farm & equipment and gave away the rest to Goodwill. 30 yrs of goodies basically like new (3 skid loaders, tractors, Harley, F550 7.3 diesel, fully equipped 6K sf shop, etc.). We both also had high pressure Corporate jobs and decided life was way too short to have a heart attack in the office making the Executives rich while laying off clerks and collecting toys. Basically, we were working long hours on the job and nights, weekends and holidays on the farm. We were working all the time making everyone else rich and increasing our inventory of stuff, so I put myself on the layoff list, simplified, and didn't look back. Only regret is I wish I'd done it sooner. We settled in Northern CA kickin' around the trails, getting involved with local hiking groups and working up to a PCT thru.

Mags, we planned a fairly radical lifestyle change and it was enough of a shocker. After reading your post it's hard to imagine what you went through with the extreme high on big K to the deep low in the car ride afterward. What a free fall! From your posts and great trip reports I have a lot of respect for the way it appears you've managed to put together a lifestyle that really captures your interest. Kudos to you! Good example for many and I know the decisions along the way were thoughtful and deliberate to work through.

My best to all.

[hoyawolf]

try coming back from 15 months of combat - anytime you have a watershed experience readjustment is not fun - for anyone involved.

[Blissful]

Transition is really tough. I find myself wondering what to do - even though I HAVE things to do! Especially when hiking the AT was a 30 year dream for me. But I hold on to the fact that I can still have other dreams and goals. And to look forward to the future and not backward. But make the most of the experience I did have and use them for good.

[Mags]

Thanks for all the kind words. I may clean up the article and write something CDT related as well.

I did write these two thing as well (Warning:A bit long! I hope people don't me posting all this. It is a subject that been on my mind a LOT in the past decade!!!!)



Here 's an e-mail I sent out to some CDT friends:

Hard to believe....

For those of us in the CDT 2006 crew (and those who admit to knowing us.. ;-) ), it has been about 1 year (give or take) since we finished the CDT.

Feeling a bit of CDT homesickness if you will, I watched Disco's Walkumentary (http://www.thewalkumentary.com/) again.

I laughed at the many funny memories, thought wistfully of the time spent in the Winds and think of what a great year 2006 turned out to be.

I don't think the time on the CDT would have been as memorable if it was not for all the great people we met on the trail. Safe to say, I think many of us did the CDT expecting a solo experience and not a social one. The CDT was mainly solo for me, but the moments spent with other hikers were so memorable. There were not many of us, but those of us out there seemed to really have some great memories together. One crazy weekend in CB, marg night in Rawlins (who ever knew a pit of a town could be so fun ?), walking through some gorgeous country together and too many other memories to count.

One year later, it is amazing how many of us still see each other. A bunch of us did the 13er traverse outside of Berthoud Pass, D-low, Disco and I experienced CDT-like brutality (questionable boundaries, old and vanishing trails, road walking and snow drifts included!) around Pikes Peak, we continue to hook up for beers, a few of us hooked up at the ALDHA West Gathering (sigh. not d-low or I), and one crazy and unexpected night, Speedo was in Denver at a mainly thru-hiker get together. Many of the people on this e-mail list were there. The energy was high and made for a memorable night.

What is there to say? The CDT last year was awesome. And I think part of the reason was because of the shared experience we all had. So here's to the CDT in 2006. Here's to a great 2007 that we are about to finish. And here's continuing to staying in touch for 2008 and beyond. :)

Nostalgic Mags


http://www.pmags.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=14339&g2_serialNumber=2&g2_GALLERYSID=3b949e66edab509941c598e1d0bfae7e (http://www.pmags.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=14339&g2_serialNumber=2&g2_GALLERYSID=3b949e66edab509941c598e1d0bfae7e) Hiker Trash in Crested Butte


The replies back from my trail buddies were in a similar vein.

As I have said many times in the past, balancing a sense of wanderlust with an equally strong sense of wanting some stability and community in my life has been difficult.

I enjoy my community here in Boulder. But, I look at photos, I read my journals and I watch the videos. My mind wanders to the backpack hanging on the garage wall. I just want to grab the pack and go.

Next year it will be ten years since I've done the Appalachian Trail (http://www.pmags.com/joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=13&Itemid=34). Hiking the AT, frankly, ruined me. It was hard to go back to my previous life in Rhode Island. And it left me with the desire to continue to wander. The intellectual part of me thinks "You are going to be 34 in a few months. You should grow up and settle down!" My gut tells me "When can I get out again??!?!" I readily admit to not knowing how to strike a balance.
For those cursed and blessed with wanderlust, you are in good company. Steinbeck wrote a wonderful book called TRAVELS WITH CHARLIE (http://www.amazon.com/Travels-Charley-Search-America-Centennial/dp/0142000701/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1195232211&sr=8-1). In this travelogue, Steinbeck (along with his dog Charlie) travels the roads and off-the-beaten path areas of early 1960s America. A chance to reconnect with the common people he wrote so eloquently about in the past.

Some of the first lines Steinbeck wrote set the tone of the book:

When I was very young and the urge to be someplace was on me, I was assured by mature people that maturity would cure this itch. When years described me as mature, the remedy prescribed was middle age. In middle age I was assured that greater age would calm my fever and now that I am fifty-eight perhaps senility will do the job. Nothing has worked. . . In other words, I don't improve, in further words, once a bum always a bum. I fear the disease is incurable.

A (now former) girlfriend once told me that "The outdoors for you is not a hobby, it is a lifestyle". She's right. But more importantly, my outdoor TRAVELS are a lifestyle for me. A lifestyle I am finding difficult to give up; a yearning that never goes away.

Even if I am not on the trail, or planning to be on long journey, the urge to get out there never goes away. Day hikes are nice, overnighters are fantastic...but nothing replaces the sheer joy and bliss of being on a journey. The simple act of putting one foot in front of another. Getting from Point A to Point B under my own power. Living out of my pack. Having the country all round me and being discovered one step at a time.

Once a bum. Always a bum.


Something I wrote in April 2007 as well:


As a person in his early 30s, I am seeing much transition in my life.

Part of the transition is that many of my friends are now married and starting to have families.

Having wandered on and off for the better part of a decade, my life has taken a different course than many of my peers.

Instead of a career, I've had a series of jobs to pay for my hikes.

I do not own a home, but have purchased a new shelter (http://sixmoondesigns.com/shop/shopexd.asp?id=48) recently.

For the first time in over six years, I now own a vehicle.

And now that my friends are entering a different stage of life, their time is understandably limited.

As such, it it easier for me to work my schedule around their free time than the other way around.

On April 21st, I accompanied the Zapins (http://marninjosh.com/) (Marni, Josh, Avery and their dog Traveler) on a three mile hike to Lost Lake. Avery is almost 8 mos old now and is quite comfortable in his carrier. Josh and Marni want to make sure that the outdoors and the love of nature is large part of Avery's upbringing. I also feel honored when I tag along on these outings.

Marni and Josh are two of my closest friends in Boulder. What started off as a "fun run" one New Years Eve over 4 years ago has grown into a strong friendship. I've shared holidays with them, been to many awesome places and have had discussions that go beyond just spending time together on a hike or a run. After Avery was born, Marni and Josh started referring to me as "Uncle Mags". Truth be told, Avery has become an adopted "nephew" to me.

So, I was delighted to spend some time with them.

The hike was moderate, but always more challenging when a little one is on the hike. The hike was also a little more challenging due to the snow around the lake. No matter. The little guy enjoyed the hike. He was laughing and smiling (and sleeping! (http://www.pmags.com/joomla/index.php?option=com_gallery2&Itemid=36&g2_view=core.ShowItem&g2_itemId=15188)) . Here is a boy that will grow to love the outdoors.


http://bp3.blogger.com/_B-SpheviBfA/Rjd0HhS4CHI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/2AyYyH5NFag/s400/abz_lost_lake.jpg (http://bp3.blogger.com/_B-SpheviBfA/Rjd0HhS4CHI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/2AyYyH5NFag/s1600-h/abz_lost_lake.jpg)The Zapin family at Lost Lake


After spending some time at the lake, flurries picked up. We headed down. Afterwards, we all headed to the Southern Sun for a brew and food.



Since going on this hike, I've been thinking. I will be 33 in a few weeks. Hardly old. But I am getting older.

I've made choices in my life . Choices that are not conventional. Because of these choices I have made, life is a lot different than I would have imagined since taking that first backpacking trip in 1996.

That trip was a watershed moment in my life. It lead to hiking the Appalachian Trail two years later. Doing the AT lead to me moving to Colorado and wanting to do other trails.

As I see my friends starting their own families, I think of the choices I made in my life. There is one choice that leads to me not taking that backpacking trip that weekend. I'm still in Rhode Island along with the rest of my (large) family. Another choice lead to not doing the PCT in 2002 and staying with the company I was working for at the time. I might be in Portland, OR now; making considerably more money but deep in the corporate world. And so on...

All choices that lead to somewhere different.

As I approach my mid-30s, I wonder what choices I may make now that will affect my future. Do I settle down a bit? Do I continue my wandering ways?

When I did the CDT last year, I could not help but think about the need for a community in my life...but still have this urge to wander and explore. I have yet to reconcile these very different, but equal, pulls in my life.

I enjoy the time spent with my friends. By spending time with my friends who now have a family, I am seeing what my life could have been like. It is not better or worse..but definitely different from the way my life is now.

All choices involve sacrifice. The key is to make the sacrifices that will make the life the most fulfilling for each individual. My question still remains for me: What sacrifices do I want to make and for what ends? The simple answer is: I still don't know.

All the photos (http://www.pmags.com/joomla/index.php?option=com_gallery2&Itemid=36&g2_view=core.ShowItem&g2_itemId=15092&g2_page=5) (Many pics of the little guy! :D)

[Many Walks]

hoyawolf, you are absolutely right and I couldn't agree more! I am USMC 20 mos. Viet Nam.

[Many Walks]

hoyawolf, I'll expand just slightly. After experiencing the return from VN, I had an idea that after the thru my path would change again. I chose "Oorah" as my TN because I wanted to honor all my brother Marines that would not ever be able to hike the trail. I had to finish for them. Oorah also translates to "a new beginning", which seemed appropriate for what we did. My tour in Viet Nam was one I don't care to repeat, but memorable none the less. Just one of my Many Walks to get where I am today. I think anyone who does a thru, or has any other significant experience is wise to try to look beyond it. I admire Soulrebel for trying to figure that out and I wish him well.

[Mags]

hoyawolf, you are absolutely right and I couldn't agree more! I am USMC 20 mos. Viet Nam.


My "little" brother (he's going to be 29 soon!), did not see combat. But, he was a medic at Balad hospital seeing much more injury, carnage and god-knows-what-else, in a constant high pressure and intense environment, than I can imagine. Most of which he told me about (over some beers when it was just the two of us); some of which I am sure he'll never share.

I can't fathom what he went saw or experienced.

Coming back from any life changing experience alters your life in ways you can't fathom. Nor can your family, friends and other loved ones.

Combat (or combat related situations such as my brother) are perhaps the most intense and obvious way in a which a person is changed.

I remember my grandfather, a ww2 infantry veteran (Sicily, Anzio and, perhaps the most horrific of all, Dachau) not wanting to talk about his war and post-war experiences even 50 yrs later. It was only when he passed away (and reading a book about his division) that I learned any of what he saw from stories my Grandmother told.

Having said that, the echoes of intense, life changing experiences of ANY type still come with you and make it hard to relate to other people.

Missionary work. Peace Corps. A tragic situation. And yes, a long journey in the wilderness among others.

Some people adjust well. My grandfather was able to raise a family, enjoy his grandsons and be proud of his military service.

But from what little he hinted at, what he saw never left him. The man of 1945 was different from 1942 when he was drafted. He looked like a young boy before he left. In 1945, his photos showed what he wouldn't tell. The experiences were etched in his face.

My brother is adjusting OK; but he still feels like he should be back there. Like he has not done enough.

And me? And many others? We did not see death. We did not get shot at. Our lives were never in any danger (for the most part)..but there is no doubt that traveling for months at the time in the wilderness has altered some of us. Changed us so it is hard to related to other people who have not experienced the same journey.

Instead of harmony, jangle.

FWIW, I updated my post trail doc on this slow Friday:
http://www.pmags.com/joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=51&Itemid=33

[Tipi Walter]

The origin of our sense of wanderlust is easy to see since as a species we lived as hunters and gatherers for the last 190,000 years. Anatomically modern humans(Homo sapiens)first appeared at least 130,000 years ago and as far back as 200,000 years ago:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human

We lived outdoors and in primitive shelters with children AND EVEN HAD WIVES WILLING TO JOIN US but now sit at keyboards wondering where it all went and how to get it back. The old fight or flight sydrome is still around and we've traded stone points for ballistic nuclear warheads but we'll never get rid of our desire to sleep out under the stars and wander along wilderness trails. No matter how soft we get or how soft our lifestyle becomes.

Mags said something about the struggle between the sense of wanderlust and the need for stability and community. I believe we had both in the old days when we travelled in small bands and lived under animals hides or thatch. The lovers of civilization(syphilization)will say sure, but we all died at the age of 40. Some did but not all. And the extra 40 years we've gained thru technology has not helped to make us any wiser or given us a return to the simple life out under the stars in the woods. So yes, we can live a few extra decades in unpaid debt in subdivisions with piped in water and flush toilets surrounded by another billion sardines in similar tins, but it's not how we started and it doesn't have to be this way. Inside us is a 200,000 year old memory stick tickling our medullas and whispering, "Shuck it all and set up camp in a blizzard." Some fortunate few hear the call and are never the same.

When we as a society and as a people and as a species broke our connection to nature and to living outdoors(around 6-10,000 years ago), we lost something that is still there for the taking but has been obscured by our unwillingness to forsake the "soft life" and to get into "roughing it." So really, in the final reel, it all comes back down to hauling water and chopping wood and forsaking the soft life. It is the soft life that is the biggest enemy to living outdoors.

[Many Walks]

Wow MAGS, great update and post! Clearly demonstrates everyone's story is interesting, valid and important. Everyone's life evolves based on prior circumstance and experience. Certainly, no two are the same. I think the key is to somehow build on the good things and channel all of that to a positive future that accomplishes what we truly need to do. I hope Soulrebel finds something to help him in all of this. The beauty is this WB community understands, whether they are thru hikers, section hikers, day hikers or simply trail enthusiasts. No one is better than anyone else as we are all in love with the same thing. However, after saying that I also think it's fair to say thru hikers do know it's a unique experience and a significant accomplishment that keeps trying to pull you back in. I think we all would like to hear more input telling how folks adjust to the challenge of living a "normal " life after having been bitten by the extended trail life bug.

[Tipi Walter]

I think we all would like to hear more input telling how folks adjust to the challenge of living a "normal " life after having been bitten by the extended trail life bug.

Or maybe this: How people decided to dump the "normal" life and figure out a way to stay out permanently or nearly so.

[Many Walks]

Tipi Walter, I believe you are right. It's simply part of our DNA and this community was lucky enough to rediscover it. Months on the trail is not unique, but rather where we really belong. Always had that feeling myself. So why fight it, just look for more ways to get back out there and enjoy the journey along the way. Soulrebel still needs to find a way to make that happen and support his family...like many I'm sure.

[MOWGLI]

Transition has been difficult, especially since very few people on the home front have interest in my hike. My Dad has not asked me a single question about my hike since my first day back, and he recently told me I've changed for the worst.

Kirby

You may not care for this advice, but since very few people (if any) know you better than your parents, I would ask him to expand upon that comment, and listen carefully to what he has to say. He may be wrong, but there is a chance he is on to something.

And yes, I too had an awful time with transition.

[Tipi Walter]

Months on the trail is not unique, but rather where we really belong.

What I've been trying to say for the last few posts.

[Many Walks]

MOWGLI, your advice to Kirby is good. Anything you can share with how you managed to deal with the transition? Would also like to hear back from Kirby after he talks with his Dad. That may be good insight.

My family was supportive, with a deer in the headlights sort of look, but then again they were in shock, so who really knows. A lot of people, outside of this group, don't really get why we would voluntarily be unemployed and homeless to roam around in the wilderness. Life goes on, but it's way too short to worry about needless crap.

[MOWGLI]

MOWGLI, your advice to Kirby is good. Anything you can share with how you managed to deal with the transition? Would also like to hear back from Kirby after he talks with his Dad. That may be good insight.



My insight? Don't be a moody prick like I was. :eek: Just because I went on a long hike, didn't give me a license to sulk and brood. Needless to say, I didn't handle it gracefully.

I guess the best advice I could dispense would be to get out and hike again. For an overnight, or a weekend, or longer. I didn't do an overnight for almost 9 months, and that was a HUGE mistake. I also wouldn't try and go back to the AT to try and recapture the magic. Chances are you won't. Me? I took to discovering new places. And I haven't a single regret about that decision. Hence, the comment under my name on every post.

Connoisseur of other trails since 2001

[Dogwood]

No need to get frustrated and freak out since getting off the trail. Integrate what U learned on the trail into your city/family/work life.

I refuse to go back to the life that I had before thru-hiking the AT and PCT, but not because that life was 'bad' just because my desires and needs have changed. U have probably heard it before from other thru-hikers, but I live a much less complicated and simpler lifestyle now. I don't buy into what so many tell me I need. Big business, big organized religion, and big government used to dictate to me what I should have, but I have found to question these groups motives. It seems they all want to dictate, control, and/or manipulate in order to usurp personal power/will. I think we would all do better if we would question what our desires are and their origins. And, if U truely are overjoyed with the hiking lifestyle why not incorporate that lifestyle into your older non-hiking lifestyle. If U are passionate about hiking make it a bigger part of your life. CARPE DIEM!!!

[Many Walks]

Soulrebel, everyone has great comments here. I think the key to moving forward is to somehow find your passion that involves the outdoors and hopefully has some income involved.
There must be a gazillion ways to do that, but it all comes down to your interest, talent, and opportunity available to you. Maybe there is something here that sparks your interest as a seed to a great idea. If nothing else, it's clear a thru hike changes a person and we all had to adjust afterward. Wish you the best.

[kayak karl]

I've liquidated a lot of useless junk in my house, but if you own a fridge and an oven, bathroom and stuff you gotta clean them eventually don't you?
HElp! lol
NO, only clean them if a security deposit is involved:D

[buff_jeff]

Transition has been difficult, especially since very few people on the home front have interest in my hike. My Dad has not asked me a single question about my hike since my first day back, and he recently told me I've changed for the worst.

Kirby

That essentially sums my feelings up perfectly, man. I don't want to talk about my hiking as a distorted way of self aggrandizement. I simply like talking about hiking. Nobody else seems to. I have met a few people who get it, though, and that is always nice.

[kayak karl]

he recently told me I've changed for the worst.

Kirby
Maybe he's right? He's your Dad, older and wiser then you. Maybe you need to hike a few steps back and think about it. :-? My Dads 82 and i still seek his guidance:)

[Blue Jay]

Mags, your post is one of the best things I have ever read. Thankyouthankyouthankyou

[smokymtnsteve]

well mayB your Dad knows something my dad is 74 and every day I relize what a complete IDIOT he is and always was.

[buff_jeff]

well mayB your Dad knows something my dad is 74 and every day I relize what a complete IDIOT he is and always was.
Ouch. I did my best. :o

[Trailbender]

try coming back from 15 months of combat - anytime you have a watershed experience readjustment is not fun - for anyone involved.

Agreed. I did a tour in Iraq in 2004, and it took awhile to even get close to adjusting. I find it amusing seeing someone get angry that their latte wasn't made right, and think about some of the things everyone saw and did over there. I haven't hiked the trail yet, but I think the massive inability to relate to "normal" people would be about the same.