Going solo

[Jason of the Woods]

This may seem silly but I want to apologize to anyone here that I may have offended during the last couple of months! I have lost my hiking partner of three years, as she decided to dissolve our relationship so I have been going through a rough patch. Now the worst of it is finding out that it can be a little lonely at night in the Hubba all by my lonesome.;)

[Tipi Walter]

I wish I could list all the girlfriends I had and lost while living out of a backpack but I don't want to offend the innocent, etc. First there was Beckola, then came the Hawk and then the Eye-Dark One, etc etc etc. When I think of a certain one, I think of a particular backpacking area like Lost Valley, the Harvard tipi site, Temple of the Gods(didn't I take several wannabe girlfriends up there?), Winklers Creek, Pisgah forest and the rock canyon, Marys Rock on the AT in Shenandoah, on the AT outside of Hot Springs, and on and on. How many days did I wait camping along Upper Creek for the Nordic Queen to arrive? And she never did!

My backpacking buddy Johnny B was in the same fix. How many i chings can a person throw to figure out the potential of a certain lady? Old Johnny B would sit outside his tent with his i ching book and wonder if his current favorite would arrive into camp with pack and bag. Like Johnny B, I hauled around a big paperback of Linda Goodman's SUN SIGNS and used it to decipher the mystery of a particular female's heart.

The backdrop of Nature can be pretty lonely at times, and at other times it's a walk in beauty when shared with a significant other. There are two ways to backpack solo: Either having someone waiting for you back home or having no one. When I had no one I found myself backpacking to areas where people congregated and I was downright social although I spent thousands of nights alone in my tent or tipi completely content to be alone and under a clear night sky.

Loneliness is just a part of Nature, like the wind and the snow and the cold and the rain. It is another component of "roughing it". And there are even some people who never feel loneliness, just aloneness. And above them are the precious few who find company with ants, beetles, birds and toads, I mean real company at the level with humans. And then there's Momma Nature who is the real Girlfriend and Lover. Backpacking is just an excuse to sleep with this beautiful woman every night, I admit it. She's the thrill of the hunt and she ain't hard to find.

[Bearpaw]

I've loved MANY women and been loved back, at least for a while. There's nothing like meeting "the one". I've met at least half a dozen of them.;)

The best thing I can say is that, IME, an honest lonely is better for the soul than a fake love. It might be a good time to sort out what is really real for you. I can't give any more advice than that, because heaven knows I'm no expert on that particular subject myself. :-?

[fehchet]

This may seem silly but I want to apologize to anyone here that I may have offended during the last couple of months! I have lost my hiking partner of three years, as she decided to dissolve our relationship so I have been going through a rough patch. Now the worst of it is finding out that it can be a little lonely at night in the Hubba all by my lonesome.;)

I would think it would be a little crowded in the Hubba at night. YMMV

So that is the joke answer. I wish you well, relationships area tough breed. Realise your love of hiking and maybe this will help.

[Jason of the Woods]

Thanks guys. She was one of those "the one"! I think that it shocked our friends more than us. She has shown me a whole new ugly side this week that makes my divorce look as if it were a cake walk. Life gets you sometimes but tomorrow I will go crank out a few miles, enjoy some wildlife, and let nature filter my soul the way that it tends to do to me.The hurt just takes a little time.:)

[Summit]

Life is full of bizarre, sometimes painful, twists and turns. Keep pressing on, seeking God's will and plan for your life. Whether the split is temporary or permanent, hopefully you will look back down the road of life retrospectively and realize it was for the best. It takes time to heal. Give it time.

[Jason of the Woods]

Time, and hiking helps too. I am headed out the door now.;)

[Old Hillwalker]

I always tell my married friends that I'm in love with a very much older woman and considering my somewhat advanced age they look at me strangely until they find out that her name is Mother Nature:D

[k-n]

I've loved MANY women and been loved back, at least for a while. There's nothing like meeting "the one". I've met at least half a dozen of them.;)

The best thing I can say is that, IME, an honest lonely is better for the soul than a fake love. It might be a good time to sort out what is really real for you. I can't give any more advice than that, because heaven knows I'm no expert on that particular subject myself. :-?

an honest lonely is better for the soul than a fake love. great line.it needs to be in a country song

[littlelaurel59]

I always tell my married friends that I'm in love with a very much older woman and considering my somewhat advanced age they look at me strangely until they find out that her name is Mother Nature:D

I have been married to the same wonderful woman for 24 years. She likes short day hikes, but is not a backpacker.

Mother Nature is my mistress- "the other woman." My wife knows about her, and doesn't mind the relationship.

Life is good:)

[Jason of the Woods]

It's funny but it really is a relationship of sorts. The funny thing is that she has never done me wrong even in the worst weather.;)

[Christus Cowboy]

This may seem silly but I want to apologize to anyone here that I may have offended during the last couple of months! I have lost my hiking partner of three years, as she decided to dissolve our relationship so I have been going through a rough patch. Now the worst of it is finding out that it can be a little lonely at night in the Hubba all by my lonesome.;)

J... I'll have to admit that I felt some of your posts were a bit much at times but I would like to tell you how much I appreciate you posting this as it really sheds some light on alot of things for me. You didn't have to share this with anyone much less the Whiteblaze community but you felt compelled to do so.... So what can I say?... Your transparency is commendable and has helped me understand some things a whole lot better now. As far as losing your hiking partner that's a tough shot to say the least and I'm sure its quite painful.... All I can say is when I've taken some tough shots in life, I too find comfort in the backcountry because it gives me a chance to pray, ask for healing, and seek renewal in my life. Of course for me, it helps me reflect on the relationship I have with God. It is through this I find that I'm better able to bear life's burdens and helps bring more meaning to the relationship I have with others.....

[Jason of the Woods]

Thank you CC. Yesterday I want on about a ten mile day hike. About half way through I almost put my trekking pole down on the bigget copperhead that I had ever seen. It was almost a sign. I had to get a pic but all that I had was my camera phone. The snaked just sat there coiled up as I leaned in well within his striking distance to get a pic. The snake didn't so much as flinch. In my mind I saw that as Mother Nature doing something to make me happy in a time of grief. I am a spiritual man but not religious. When things like this happen it definately reminds me that there is more than just us. And yes, the backcountry is my church and where I seek my salvation.

[Jason of the Woods]

I can't spell. It's early.;)

[Tipi Walter]

Thank you CC. Yesterday I want on about a ten mile day hike. About half way through I almost put my trekking pole down on the bigget copperhead that I had ever seen. It was almost a sign. I had to get a pic but all that I had was my camera phone. The snaked just sat there coiled up as I leaned in well within his striking distance to get a pic. The snake didn't so much as flinch. In my mind I saw that as Mother Nature doing something to make me happy in a time of grief. I am a spiritual man but not religious. When things like this happen it definately reminds me that there is more than just us. And yes, the backcountry is my church and where I seek my salvation.

Congratulations on keeping a good attitude. A lot of people would've seen the copperhead as a sign of evil and killed it. Such old and out-dated concepts are fast becoming ancient history as we slowly get back to seeing out interconnectedness, etc.

It's funny, but I saw and nearly stepped on a copperhead on a recent backpacking trip in the Slickrock wilderness and after the initial endorphin rush felt great affection for my little sister sitting there on the trail. And she was inquisitive too, lifting her head up to check out this tall animal with a big back(my pack). I took the necessary fotogs and felt honored and then continued up-river.

I'll always remember a Lakota Sioux medicine man named Matthew King who talked a lot about the Indian way of seeing things. One time he held up a big eagle feather and said, simply, "God is Nature. Nature is God." End of story.

[Jason of the Woods]

That is a great quote Tipi. One to live by as far as I am concerned. Yeah I felt the same way. I felt honored that the snake just lay there seemingly unphased to my presence. I jsut wish the pics would have done justice to just how big this guy was. He was in pounce position so he was pretty curled up. I imagine he was waiting for a mouse not something as big as me. And yes they do scare you a bit at first when they catch you off guard. Just a good lesson as to why you should pay attention while out. I would have never thought that I would have seen him where he was, so out in the open.

[Gray Blazer]

I did not misinterpret it. It's funny how some people seem to be or think of themselves as really tolerant, but, they're not really tolerant.

Jason, there is a woman out there for you, just don't get down or desperate.

[Christus Cowboy]

Thank you CC. Yesterday I want on about a ten mile day hike. About half way through I almost put my trekking pole down on the bigget copperhead that I had ever seen. It was almost a sign. I had to get a pic but all that I had was my camera phone. The snaked just sat there coiled up as I leaned in well within his striking distance to get a pic. The snake didn't so much as flinch. In my mind I saw that as Mother Nature doing something to make me happy in a time of grief. I am a spiritual man but not religious. When things like this happen it definately reminds me that there is more than just us. And yes, the backcountry is my church and where I seek my salvation.

I too am glad to see that your encounter had a positive outcome..... You are correct on several points here.... First as you stated, there is a fundamental difference between spirituality and religious peity. While I do consistently go to church, my philosophical approach to faith oftentimes is misunderstood by many in the "religious community". Faith's journey can be lonely at times and it is frequently misunderstood but in the end the relationship you have with God becomes much closer and meaningful. Secondly, your acknowledgment of something greater than yourself is also true and those of us who have spent time in the backcountry will readily attest to this. The backcountry wilderness is indeed God's classroom and always remember that acknowledgment of the Creator is the ultimate compliment you can give nature itself.

Hang in there partner.... I've got this thread marked and will checking up on you from time to time......

[Jason of the Woods]

Ok so I feel a little silly. After closer examination of the snake I am pretty sure it was a timber rattler. Just a damn big one. The top half had a diamond pattern that faded to almost black. I couldn't see the tail to see the rattle because of it being coiled. I'm a little rusty on my snakes. All that I know is if the head is diamond shaped you probably don't want to touch or hold it.;)

And thank you Gray and Christus!

[Jason of the Woods]

I meant triangle shaped. Oops.;)

[Jason of the Woods]

OK, so let me pose this question. How soon is too soon for me to recruit a new hiking partner? I've got this "friend" that has had some feelings for me in the past and wants to go with me to the woods next week...

[MOWGLI]

OK, so let me pose this question. How soon is too soon for me to recruit a new hiking partner? I've got this "friend" that has had some feelings for me in the past and wants to go with me to the woods next week...

I don't think Dr. Phil is a member here. :D

[Jason of the Woods]

well good. I was looking for advice from other like-minded hikers not a crazy overweight know-it-all. It even pertains to the AT. I am doing a week long section next week.

[Jack Tarlin]

Jason:

Best of luck with the next chapter of your life, really!

And by all means invite your new friend to go for a hike. Lone Wolf is great company on a hike and I know you'll have a blast. :D

But seriously, I hope the rest of your summer goes well, but remember, the best folks you find, you usually find entirely by accident; sometimes, the answer is NOT to look for new folks to share your life but instead, let them find YOU.

[Jason of the Woods]

Thanks Jack, really. I promise the next time that our footsteps cross the same path I've got the beer. I suppose I could handle Lone Wolf for a bit. I just wouldn't share a tent with him.;)

[Mags]

Wait to look for a romantic partner. When you are hurting and in pain from the last relationship is probably the WORSE time to get into a new one.

I've done the rebound thing before..it ain't pretty.

/crazy
//more stocky than overweight
///don't know jack ****e....

[Jason of the Woods]

Yeah, this was a bit of a shocker and I wasn't planning on jump proverbial tent so to speak. She is one cool chica though. I just would feel bad if she thought I was leading her on by taking her.

[Gray Blazer]

well good. I was looking for advice from other like-minded hikers not a crazy overweight know-it-all.

Funny description of Dr. Phil. :banana

[Christus Cowboy]

Dude.... I'm not Dr. Phil but Jack does make some good points here..... Right now you have and emotional void in your life that you are trying to fill with the next thing that comes by..... I certainly have nothing against this young lady but it would be tremendously unfair to her if you were to go down this path on the rebound..... Whatever you decide to do I would just recommend that you take it slow... remember pity, empathy, sympathy, or one's adversion of loneliness is a poor substitute for love.... At any rate I hope you enjoy your hike and be safe.....

[Summit]

Wait to look for a romantic partner. When you are hurting and in pain from the last relationship is probably the WORSE time to get into a new one.

I've done the rebound thing before..it ain't pretty.

/crazy
//more stocky than overweight
///don't know jack ****e....Not bad romance theology! I'm impressed. :)

[Gray Blazer]

The right one will come along for you, then you will chase her until she catches you. Remind me to tell you about the time I got desperate.

[Two Speed]

Remind me to tell you about the time I got desperate.I think there's a lot of us here who can tell the same story. Slightly different details, but the theme's the same. :cool:

[Tipi Walter]

The testosterone-fed thrill of the hunt is a common thing and I suppose every man has a list in the back of his head of potential girlfriends to pursue when the current one is left or leaves. In fact, sometimes a current GF is left just to pursue the next one on the list. It probably ain't pretty and most men don't want to talk about it or even be conscious of it, but it happens.

This is not to say that Jason of the Woods is so afflicted, it's just a personal observation of mine. In fact, I know many guys who actually have no "list" and spend their lives immersed in things they love to do like music or politics or scholarship or whatever. But I believe there are "relationship addicts" who go from partner to partner not for a physical conquest but to feed some inner insecurity and void. Call them "promiscuous pursuers" or something.

[Gray Blazer]

The testosterone-fed thrill of the hunt is a common thing and I suppose every man has a list in the back of his head of potential girlfriends to pursue when the current one is left or leaves. In fact, sometimes a current GF is left just to pursue the next one on the list. It probably ain't pretty and most men don't want to talk about it or even be conscious of it, but it happens.

This is not to say that Jason of the Woods is so afflicted, it's just a personal observation of mine. In fact, I know many guys who actually have no "list" and spend their lives immersed in things they love to do like music or politics or scholarship or whatever. But I believe there are "relationship addicts" who go from partner to partner not for a physical conquest but to feed some inner insecurity and void. Call them "promiscuous pursuers" or something.

It helps to have a licorice stick and that callous on the inside of your lip can drive them crazy.

[mrc237]

I once hiked with a couple on and off on the PCT in "04 they were a great couple they were lots of fun, he played the ukulele and harmonica and she sang. They were fun both on the trail and in town and liked to party a bit. I noticed after awhile that she was a little bossy with him and after awhile I said this to him privatley. Instead of telling me to MMOFB he just said that feeling lonely was alot worse than getting bossed around once in awhile. I respected that.

[Tipi Walter]

It helps to have a licorice stick and that callous on the inside of your lip can drive them crazy.

A carefully reasoned and astute observation. And having a highly developed right thumb doesn't hurt, either.:)

Ah, mere semantics as my so-called licorice stick is packed away and safe from public scrutiny. Or is it pubic scrutiny?? I digress . . .

[Gray Blazer]

Ah, mere semantics as my so-called licorice stick is packed away and safe from public scrutiny. Or is it pubic scrutiny?? I digress . . .

We'll get this thread locked down for sure. :D

[Jason of the Woods]

See, who needs Dr Phil. I guess that the reason this even crossed my mine is another friend of mine, who happens to be a girl, said that I should just have a meaningless fling. What better place to do it than on the AT. I witnessed it plenty this spring on our big section. A certain girl that we hiked with did a lot of pink blazing, I'm not saying that is bad.

And yes, I was that guy who didn't have a list. I didn't think that I needed one. I had my mind up that I was with her for the long haul,or hike, which ever you prefer. So now a part of me just want to run wild like the primal male that we all can be.;)

[Jason of the Woods]

Should anyone be interested, here is my blog that explains the silly stuff that I've had to go through with this. I'm not a very private person, obviously, and blogging makes me feel better.

http://www.louisvillemojo.com/people/detailview.cfm?MMID=73917

[stag3]

I am a spiritual man but not religious.

I don't get this statement..can you explain it in simple terms? I have heard this same statement several times and have yet to understand it. Maybe it is someone who believes in God (or a god) but doesn't participate in or recognize organized religion?

Stag3

[Jason of the Woods]

Maybe it is someone who believes in God (or a god) but doesn't participate in or recognize organized religion?

You got it.

[smokymtnsteve]

OK, so let me pose this question. How soon is too soon for me to recruit a new hiking partner? I've got this "friend" that has had some feelings for me in the past and wants to go with me to the woods next week...

PLEASE STAND FOR THE GOSPEL OF ABBEY!

"Why not? And why the hell not?"

THNAKS BE TO ABBEY!

[Jason of the Woods]

That was good.;)

[Mags]

Not bad romance theology! I'm impressed. :)

As the saying goes , "Experience is a great teacher..but the tuition is high" :o

I've learned from experience...

[rafe]

I don't get this statement..can you explain it in simple terms? I have heard this same statement several times and have yet to understand it. Maybe it is someone who believes in God (or a god) but doesn't participate in or recognize organized religion?

Not to steal Jason's thread, but let me take a stab at it.

For me, "spirituality" includes emotions such as awe and wonder, at something far bigger than ourselves (spatially, temporally, and in all other regards.) Stuff I get sometimes from a good hike. These emotions are often (in fact, usually) conflated with religion, but religion isn't necessary in order to experience them.

From one of my all-time favorite tunes (a bit old and sappy, but there it is...) there's a line that hints at what I'm getting at... "Let it be known, there is a fountain, that was not made by the hands of men."

[Summit]

I don't ascribe to 'organized religion' either! :eek: The pure gospel that I believe and seek to reflect in the way I live my life is not about a bunch of 'dos and don'ts,' but rather about what's been done! :) I won't go any further out of respect for the WB rules and owner's wishes, and Jason's concerns and what he's sharing here.

[Jason of the Woods]

I don't ascribe to 'organized religion' either! :eek: The pure gospel that I believe and seek to reflect in the way I live my life is not about a bunch of 'dos and don'ts,' but rather about what's been done! :) I won't go any further out of respect for the WB rules and owner's wishes, and Jason's concerns and what he's sharing here.
Not stealing at all. That is the way that I feel. I also don't feel that I need to give 15% of my salary in order to get into heaven. I think at one time organized religion was a good thing but that time has been long ago. Back to topic. I think that I made my intentions clear to my friend last night that my head is just way too cloudy right now to even consider anything but friendship and if she is cool with that then she is still welcome to come with so we'll see.;)

[Jason of the Woods]

So in lui of my decision to head back to the AT soon I have decided to avoid this situation all together and not go right now. I just plan to do a lot of day hiking to stay in decent shape. I did however extend an invitation for her to come with me as friends. She is a non-working bum such as me and has always wanted to do a long trip. That is a little scarry though. I feel like I may have to slow my already slow pace for a newbie. This concerns me more than relations.;)

[rafe]

That is a little scarry though. I feel like I may have to slow my already slow pace for a newbie. This concerns me more than relations.;)

Partners always involve compromise of one sort or another. At hiking, as in life. I keep re-learning this lesson.

[CBSSTony]

Life never asked me what I wanted.

[Jason of the Woods]

Life never asked me what I wanted.
Yeah, me neither. It keeps dealing me crap that I just deal with...:D