View Full Version : so depressed
so here it is......... my dad and i only get to go to the AT 2 times a year. we live in FL so its a big trip for us and we do a good amount of planning and prep to make it happen. last week my dad was walking and hurt his knee and it is still not better and we are scheduled to leave in 2 weeks. now we are faced with the decision to cancel our trip. and it looks like its going to be canceled and im very upset about it. i dont want him to go, push himself and cause more damage, but ive been looking forward to it for months. i just cant snap out of my funk about it and i dont want him to know how upset i am about not going.
im getting married soon and we may not have time or opportunity to keep going to the trail twice a year. my dad is my best friend and this is our thing. i guess im worried we will not go back. maybe thats why im so upset.:(
The Old Fhart
10-06-2008, 16:27
excuse me for replying in this thread but I'd suggest the 2 of you still go but change the focus of the trip. You could still go on a trip and basically car-camp and visit areas along the trail that interests the two of you that you might not get to see if you were just hiking. If the goal is to spend quality time with your dad, this might be a good compromise, given the circumstances. Good luck.
that's a great idea, phart! i was trying to find easier hikes, but that's probably alot better on his ankle and he won't feel pressured to perform.
meghan there are several books for tri-state area waterfall hunting. i've got one at home with maps, directions, the whole nine yards. we do trips just for that every now and again.
Excellent idea.
I wonder what a woman would say.
Shadowmoss
10-06-2008, 16:51
Tinker, methinks just that kind of comment is why us women asked for our own forum, to get away from the constant digs that 'you' all greet every post with on the main forums.
Gray Blazer
10-06-2008, 17:04
I was thinking the same thing as OFp. There are so many cool places back in the forests and even mountaintops on the AT alone. Have some fun.
I'm going to repeat what I wrote in another, similar thread:
When the Women's Forum was created, there was a lot of discussion about what would and would not be allowed. We collectively decided that it was just about impossible to ban men entirely, and that there was some value in allowing men to contribute both information and to ask questions.
HOWEVER, the Women's Forum has much stricter rules about what is acceptable, especially in the tone of posts. To make a huge generalization, most women do not want the kind of sniping, pissing contest stuff that goes on in the general and other forums.
Those are the rules. Men or women who persist in violating those rules will be banned from the Women's Forum, while retaining access to other Whiteblaze forums. To make it crystal clear: Smartass comments will pretty quickly get you kicked out of the forum.
I will add a couple of thoughts:
As Tinker observed, sometimes women post things in the Women's Forum that are probably more appropriate to the General Forum. No surprises, lots of people put threads in the wrong forums, such as putting dog questions in the general forum, or a Colorado Trail question in the General AT forum. It's not a big deal; threads can be moved, and often are moved, by administrators and moderators.
However, until a thread is moved, everyone should expect to abide by the Women's Forum rules, which means that men should usually restrain themselves from posting. Here's a hint: If you don't have enough self-control to do that, don't even open the threads in that forum. Anyone can request that a thread be moved. That request may or may not be granted, but if you feel a thread is in the wrong location, you can always ask.
A piece of advice on the other side of the issue: Women should be completely aware at all times that ANYONE can read whatever they have posted in the Women's Forum, and just about anywhere else on Whiteblaze (with a few exceptions). Don't post stuff that you don't want men--men in general or any particular man--to read. Given the makeup of the Whiteblaze membership, chances are extremely good that more men than women will read your post. If it's a sensitive subject, don't post it. Your ex, your X's lawyer, your kids...just about anyone might read what you've written.
The surest way to get yourself banned from the Women's Forum is to keep making a fuss about the rules. The rules were agreed on when the Forum was set up, after extensive discussion by the women who wanted to create the Forum. One of the chief goals of the Forum was to create a place to hold civil discussions without the kind of lively--but often irritating--blathering that goes on in the regular forums. That's the way it is and that's probably the way it's gonna stay.
BumpJumper
10-06-2008, 18:14
Meg,
From a WOMANS point of view, I understand your disappointment. If I could go back and spend more time with my mom and dad, I WOULD. I would do anything. I am glad you see that you need to cherish your time with him, as it will be short lived because, life happens as you said.
Plan on going but change it around. Though a MAN came up with it, it is a good idea!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D
Blissful
10-06-2008, 19:19
Agree, if it's to spend time with your dad before your marrige - do so and do it with whatever capabilities he has. Where were you planning on going and maybe we can suggest ideas? 2 weeks is still time for recovery too with ice, advil, etc. Maybe a trip to the Dr to get his opinion, if a knee support will help, etc.
adventurousmtnlvr
10-07-2008, 00:49
I rather have a different sort of outlook. While I totally hope you find another type of trip as so many suggested, there are many options even if it came to worst case scenarios. If he can't car camp or whatever ... worst case you have to post-pone. Is it at all possible that you could 'add' your new spouse to the group (in the future). Personally, while I think it is so cool you find your dad your best friend; I also think it would make HIM feel great if he thought you might include him in the future rather than only be with your spouse (assuming your spouse hikes at all). But I hope the car camping idea works, or an ankle support like others suggested :) There are so many sincere and helpful people on this site I know one will hit home with you but all of us support your desires with regard to family, special times, special occasions and of course hiking! All the best for whichever trip works for you. Remember quality time is what counts ... not where or how you spend it :)
thanks for all of your ideas! we are going to post-pone our trip until nov, its going to be cold but a little cold weather its better than nothing! hopefully his knee will be 100% by then!
adventurousmtnlvr, i love the idea of adding my spouse that would be the best thing ever! but he is NOT a hiker, he said he would go with me trying to make me feel better but he has no clue why or how i could love walking around the woods (as he calls it) as much as i do. i need to start him on day hikes before i drag him to the AT for 7-10 days.
thanks again, feeling much better today about the whole thing!
adventurousmtnlvr
10-07-2008, 20:25
thanks for all of your ideas! we are going to post-pone our trip until nov, its going to be cold but a little cold weather its better than nothing! hopefully his knee will be 100% by then!
adventurousmtnlvr, i love the idea of adding my spouse that would be the best thing ever! but he is NOT a hiker, he said he would go with me trying to make me feel better but he has no clue why or how i could love walking around the woods (as he calls it) as much as i do. i need to start him on day hikes before i drag him to the AT for 7-10 days.
thanks again, feeling much better today about the whole thing!That's another good reason to 'car camp' as others mentioned. Those who don't understand backpacking are more apt to do car camping at a park with less trails perhaps and just the great outdoors ... that way your dad could still join just to be 'outside' and sleep in tents, cook out etc ;) Glad you made a future trip out of it :) Blessings :)
taildragger
10-07-2008, 21:00
If the car camping ends up not being too appealing to the both of you, you could try going out west for some desert hiking (absolutely gorgeous in the winter). However, if the AT is what your hearts set on, either postpone, car camp, or do some other activities.
How are the two of you on fishing, a backcountry fishing trip on a canoe could be awesome (I've done something similar with my family and it was awesome).
Just thinking, thats all.
Gray Blazer
10-07-2008, 21:39
thanks for all of your ideas! we are going to post-pone our trip until nov, its going to be cold but a little cold weather its better than nothing! hopefully his knee will be 100% by then!
I had a knee transplant (ligament anyway) and there was an event I had been planning at 5000 ft in the Nantahalas. It snowed and was frozen the whole 4 days, but, the good thing was the cold made it so I didn't feel my knee even when I had to kneel to get in the tent. I almost froze to death , but, my knee didn't hurt and I even made 5 trips up and down, Tellico Gap to Rocky Bald (base camp) and went up Wesser the 2nd morning to catch the sunrise. Pics in My WB Gallery.
Hopefully it will be knee numbingly cold for your dad. Have a good time.
fancyfeet
10-08-2008, 02:23
Meghan, you're very lucky. My dad was the one who first told me about the AT and thruhiking. He even took me and my sister for a short walk on the AT near a visitor center back when I was 10. He took us camping, whitewater rafting, on a Mammoth Cave Tour and to many other cool places. My parents were divorced, so summer trips were a great way for us to spend time together.
Then, my sister and I started working summer jobs, then going to college and we didn't have time for summer trips anymore. He died when I was 24. He was interested in so many of the things I am now: nature, conservation, camping, photography, canoeing and backpacking. It would have been nice to be able to go on a backpacking trip with him.
So, whatever happens with your dad's knee, just remember how lucky you are to have the time and the relationship with him that you do. I'm sure that your trip will be great, even if you do have to change it a bit. Best of luck,
Fancy Feet
That's another good reason to 'car camp' as others mentioned. Those who don't understand backpacking are more apt to do car camping at a park with less trails perhaps and just the great outdoors ... that way your dad could still join just to be 'outside' and sleep in tents, cook out etc ;) Glad you made a future trip out of it :) Blessings :)
Glad to hear you're still going to go, it may be chilly but you'll be together. Just take it easy and enjoy, the time together will be more important in the long run than the length of trail covered.
From a spouse's perspective - 20 years ago I enjoyed camping, the hiking thing was all new to me. My hubby started me off slow, simple day hikes, then a ridge crossing and on to 2 day trips and so on. The same trails he started me on became each of our kids first hikes when they were 2 - all up in the White Mtn's in NH. We're now making 10yr plans for a thru hike after our youngest graduates HS.