View Full Version : help!
joeboxer
05-19-2009, 00:28
My mom really dislikes the idea of me hiking alone... Its gotten very irritating to say the least. Got any idea of how I could make her see that the AT is safer than my backyard?
You'd do more to ease her mind by finding a companion. She makes a good point. Are you really such a disagreeable person no one will hike with you?
My mom really dislikes the idea of me hiking alone... Its gotten very irritating to say the least. Got any idea of how I could make her see that the AT is safer than my backyard?
I solo hiked the AT when I was 24 FWIW.
Look, Moms are ALWAYS going to worry. Its their job. Be you 23, 35 or 55.
However, I suggest trying to make her feel a little better. Big ole coffee table books that show the scenery and other books that show the community will at least make her understand WHY you want to go out there.
http://www.amazon.com/Appalachian-Trail-Calling-Back-Hills/dp/0979565901/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242709509&sr=1-4
http://www.amazon.com/Beaten-Path-Appalachian-Pilgrimage/dp/1599214970/ref=pd_sim_b_2
If she still does not think you should go? Well, politely explain to her that this your dream, it is something you want to do, and go for it. I had to do it..and it worked out well. (You should have seen Mom's reaction when I announced I was moving to Colorado..one year after doing the AT! :D)
Also, I encourage you to go solo. It is very hard to find a partner you can be with for 24/7 and for 4-6 months at that! "Solo" on the AT really means you hike by yourself during the day, but probably see people in camp at night. Hiking solo, at least for me, makes the journey that much more intense and memorable.
I'm about a decade older than you. My mom STILL worries about me when I do my longer, solo trips (Picture a thick Rhody accent saying "My gawd! Paaawl's gonna be eatin' by grizzly beahs")
I know its tough. Sometimes you have to do something that is right for you, but your parents may not necessarily agree with. Its part of getting your own identity and becoming an adult. (Believe me when I know it can be tough. Dear ole' Mom really notched up the Catholic guilt for my visit to RI two weeks ago. At the airport she started crying and said "A son shouldn't do this to his mother" (living 2000 miles away) :o)
Good luck!
You'd do more to ease her mind by finding a companion. She makes a good point. Are you really such a disagreeable person no one will hike with you?
Some people prefer to hike solo. Nothing to do with being disagreeable.
Incredibly, I discovered I worked for the same employer as the only other Berks Countian I believe to have hiked the AT in 1980. We initially met at lunch where we worked, travelled to Amicalola Falls SP together and hiked no more than 2 or 3 days before continuing at our own paces. We both finished.
Maybe you never heard that story before Mags. I was 18 and I know something about mothers too. Mine understood my desire. She just was uneasy with me travelling alone. Most AT hikers begin as solo hikers and find as much companionship as they desire.
fancyfeet
05-19-2009, 01:27
WTH? Seriously? Just because someone's comfortable hiking solo doesn't mean they're anti-social. (Sorry Mags, you beat me to it - but it could bear repeating.)
Go solo if you like. Let mom know your itinerary and have her read an AT journal or memoir (I recommend "There are Mountains to Climb" by Jean Deeds). Then perhaps she'll get the idea that solo doesn't mean really alone. There's lots of people on the AT - most of them exceedingly helpful to a hiker in need of assistance.
Moms worry. That just what they do. Mine's gotten used my solo ramblings. This summer I'm going to Iceland solo for 3 weeks and she's thrilled for me. I let her know about Iceland's excellent SAR team and health care system (and lack of large predatory mammals). That was enough to show her I know what I'm doing.
Have fun. :sun
Phoenixdadeadhead
05-19-2009, 02:22
My mom really dislikes the idea of me hiking alone... Its gotten very irritating to say the least. Got any idea of how I could make her see that the AT is safer than my backyard?Do you prefer to hike alone? If you do I am sure you can find another hiker who does as well, and the 2 of you could hike together but apart if you know what i mean. The faster one would end up well in front of the other. Myself I like the though that I have a friend close enough that he will know by nightfall if something has happened to me and can help or get help pretty quick. It is also nice when the rain comes, 2 people can set up a spot to put the packs while you make camp rather quickly compared to just one. Just my humble opinion though everyone is entitled to their own and for the record I am not saying any of your opinions are wrong
You will have hundreds of companions on the trail with you. They won't all be present at once, but they'll eventually cross your path. Let you mom read some trail journals (leave out the ones mentioning Spike) and maybe she'll understand that this isn't a wilderness you will be hiking through.
McKeever
05-19-2009, 07:20
Since when does everyone always do what their momma wants? Be assertive, explain your position without argument or anger, and go hike your hike!
Sounds like you need a proxy hiking companion. Start dropping the name of your new found hiking partner. :rolleyes:
flemdawg1
05-19-2009, 11:24
I'm about a decade older than you. My mom STILL worries about me when I do my longer, solo trips (Picture a thick Rhody accent saying "My gawd! Paaawl's gonna be eatin' by grizzly beahs")
I'm hearing Lois Griffin, am I doing it right? :confused:
Blissful
05-19-2009, 13:19
I wouldn't exactly say the AT is safer than your backyard, unless your yard is in the city. :)
She is concerned and cares about you and that says a lot. There are some parents who don't give a crap. Glad she does cares and then maybe take her on a hike with you and invite her to share in your life's dreams. Of course on her end she needs to let go and have faith you'll be okay (which is tough as a parent, let me tell you). But I daresay there's probably more here than meets the eye.
I'm hearing Lois Griffin, am I doing it right? :confused:
Yeppers..
But I daresay there's probably more here than meets the eye.
Why do you say that? My Mom did (does!) something very similar. It is called being a Mom...a very worried one.
ps. Emerald may know something Mom's, but he rarely knows something about accepting other opinions. :D
Emerald may know something Mom's, but he rarely knows something about accepting other opinions.:D
Either one does or one doesn't. On that topic, I am of one mind.
I prefer the term acknowledge in the context to which you refer. There is a difference.
Mom when used in place of a given name is capitalized, otherwise it's lower case. Your post called for the plural moms, not the possessive mom's.
I do not accept the manner in which you butcher the English language, but I acknowledge your right to post your opinion as you have. It apparently complies with the terms of service (TOS) and thus constitutes a legal post in spite of my non-acceptance.:p:D
Emerald, I bet you are fun guy to be around! I wish I could be like you and never have brain cramps. The constant negativity must make you fun, too.
I dedicate this to you.
(http://flamewarriors.com/warriorshtm/grammarian.htm)
And on that note, time to ignore someone like you who has nothing positive to add. Cheers! :sun
Getting back to helping the guy..
Enjoy YOUR journey. Not what other people think what your journey should be. :)
Chaco Taco
05-19-2009, 17:09
When i was out last year, my mom worried about me. You are old enough to make the decision but I know it matters what your mom thinks and you want the support. Id say just go and she will come around and see how much fun you are having and the great people you meet along the way.
Are you talking about just hiking in general or are you thinking about the idea of Thruhiking.
Mother's Finest
05-19-2009, 17:10
you are 23 bro
if ya wanna hike, you hike.
peace
mf
Chaco Taco
05-19-2009, 17:11
You'd do more to ease her mind by finding a companion. She makes a good point. Are you really such a disagreeable person no one will hike with you?
The guy is old enough to go out on his own.:rolleyes:
garlic08
05-19-2009, 17:12
I think we should cut Mags some slack today. It's his birthday. And he appears to be "man"struating.
garlic08
05-19-2009, 17:16
I'm sure I'm older than your mom, and my mom still worries about me. It will never end. Enjoy it while you can.
The guy is old enough to go out on his own.:rolleyes:
Too bad you failed to grasp my post and I can't help but wonder if you have signatures turned off. He really ought to hike with a Companion. In my own mind that post worked in many ways.
I think we should cut Mags some slack today. It's his birthday. And he appears to be "man"struating.
Okay, but let the record show he started it! I wouldn't have gone there were it not for his ad hominem attacks. We have been instructed comment or ignore posts is the WhiteBlaze way and thou shalt not snivel, no?
Chaco Taco
05-19-2009, 17:48
Too bad you failed to grasp my post and I can't help but wonder if you have signatures turned off. He really ought to hike with a Companion. In my own mind that post worked in many ways.
Okay, but let the record show he started it! I can say whatever I want about him now, right?:D
Gotcha, my bad. I dont really look at signatures that much:D
aufgahoban
05-20-2009, 08:18
You are very lucky to have a mom who cares so much. And of course she worries. But only because she loves you. You can ease her worries simply by keeping in touch when you are on the trail. When she hears your happy/excited voice every few days or so she'll soon calm down inside. After you have a few hundred miles under your boots, she'll start to relax. Another thing you can do for her is keep a trial journal so she can follow along with you on your trials and tribulations. And let her know who you are meeting along the way so she can read their trail journals too. There is nothing like reading about your kid on someone elses journal. And of course, let he know you that you would never have the strength or determination to even attempt this if not for having such a great mom! :-)
My mom really dislikes the idea of me hiking alone... Its gotten very irritating to say the least. Got any idea of how I could make her see that the AT is safer than my backyard?
You're an adult. Tell her to stop giving you grief about it. The end.
As others have said, I would just plan to keep in touch with her as much as possible to ease her mind. Personally, hiking alone is my perfered way to go.
Explain to her that you love her. Explain to her that the trail is one of the safest places you can be. And go live your life.
She'll still love you. And in the end, you'll both be better off for it.
You don't need to contact her as much as possible. Cut the cord, IMO. Way too much coddling from mothers, get them over it so they can realize that you're an adult and take care of yourself.
I come from a jacked family and haven't spoken to my own since I was eighteen so take that with a grain of salt, I guess, but I do believe people need to get out on their own and try living life free of the safety net that their parents have kept them in.
aufgahoban
05-20-2009, 09:14
Karrmer, I think you are missing the point. If someone loves you with all their heart, and you love them too, keeping in touch is not much of a burden. She's not trying to coddle. She just loves her child. Most hikers I know make calls when they are in town anyway, weather it be to friends or family or taking care of business. Doesn't mean they are any less 'out there alone'...
I'm sorry that you come from a jacked up family.
Man up. If she worries too much, don't tell her everything.
superman
05-20-2009, 09:56
Man up. If she worries too much, don't tell her everything.
Holy crap...I agree with JAK....this must be a wierd thread. I'd already done two tours in Vietnam by the time I was 20. If your mommy doesn't see that you're a man yet you've got bigger problems than hiking alone.
Karrmer, I think you are missing the point. If someone loves you with all their heart, and you love them too, keeping in touch is not much of a burden. She's not trying to coddle. She just loves her child. Most hikers I know make calls when they are in town anyway, weather it be to friends or family or taking care of business. Doesn't mean they are any less 'out there alone'...
I'm sorry that you come from a jacked up family.
I wasn't referring to being "alone" as meaning being alone out in the wilderness; I just meant handling your life on your own in general.
It's not meant as a slight to anyone that speaks to their parents frequently / loves them / enjoys their company by any means, just that a person shouldn't be so concerned with what his mother thinks if he is an adult - and it's a common thing I see too often. A girl I work with is 37 years old - she wants a tattoo but won't get one because she claims her mother will be very upset. That kind of thing just blows my mind.
I just don't get why this guy even has to ask for help here. He's an adult. She was done raising him when he turned 18, he should be making his own choices now.