Rules to follow when hooking up! [Archive]

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Jayboflavin04

07-20-2009, 09:15

I was headed for a trip to VA next week and was hooking up with DAKs. A WB member. It would have been Me, Ethan(my son 8), and DAKS. The trip appealed to DAKS because he had knee surgery and wanted to do the easy miles we were going to do. When I announced my plans to the X-wife.....she became uncomfortable about us hiking with someone we met over the internet. She said "That is classic pediophile stuff".

While I do understand her concern as a parent. I feel her concern is out of pure ignorance! She doesnt know how heavily traveled the AT is....we wont be alone anyway. Also it was comforting to me to have someone along. Lets face it! If something would happen to me....Ethan(8) would have to deal with it. She also said does anyone think you are "CRAZY" for taking him on this trip. Everyone thinks it is awesome that I spend the quality time I do with my son.

ShelterLeopard

07-20-2009, 09:39

I understand how your wife feels though- My mother and everyone does not feel comfortable when I meet people on the internet to hike with. But I've never heard of a "hook up" on whiteblaze going badly. (Though maybe those wouldn't get reported?)

ShelterLeopard

07-20-2009, 09:42

That grammar feels so incorrect..... My mother does not, they do not, hmmmmm....

Christus Cowboy

07-20-2009, 11:04

What can I say except my wife initially expressed concerns when I recently went on a 54 mile hike with Summit (also on Whiteblaze) in the Nantahala National Forest, this past April. Interestingly enough Summit's wife also had the same questions... nothing major but a situation that needed to be addressed prior to our hike.... One of the things that I did try to do was differentiate Whiteblaze from the dark world of the Internet by telling my wife what Whiteblaze was and that it wasn't a prime domain for pedofiles.... One of the things that really helped me was that Summit had made hundreds of posts prior to me even getting to know him.... I was able to show my wife his posts dating back 3 years prior to my even being on whiteblaze.... given the lengthy history of his posts, my wife determined that he was not an ax murderer and that he was an experienced backpacker who be good for a fella like to me hang around.... Our trip wound up being a very good experience for me and I'm a better man for it... after a day or two on the trail when we got phone signal, we called our wives and reassured them by telling them about trip up to that point and after a few general questions both of our wives were fine....

One thing that you could do if you wanted to take a step further is contact Daks get his real name and pull up the online sex offender registries and show her that he's good.

MOWGLI

07-20-2009, 11:30

skinewmexico

07-20-2009, 11:52

I'd tell her my son was going hiking with me, and that I would be with him 24/7. And ask her how she knew so much about pedophiles. Not really. But I might mention that I had heard that a "classic" pedophile like to get the children alone, away from the parent.

CowHead

07-20-2009, 11:52

WB is a sample of what’s in the world today and it would be sad to say that there may be more than one sex offender out there. I raise my kids, to never trust anyone on the net, there is no way of knowing who is on the other end and this could be WB or Disney sites bottom line is there are truly evil people in the world.

ShelterLeopard

07-20-2009, 12:04

Ladytrekker

07-20-2009, 12:27

This is what is so great about Whiteblaze you get on here you read and you comment and you get to know the names and the people and what I like best is that your age and your gender does not seem to be a factor at all because the journey is what everyone has in common. I am doing my first section of the AT next year I spend most of my time on the FT, but am totally obcessed with the AT. However, as a Mother my child is my first priority, but I would feel safe with him hiking on the AT.

Jayboflavin04

07-20-2009, 12:43

It's not understandable from where I sit. It's paranoia. Or ignorance. Or a good bit of both. Common sense be damned. People should be scared that kids don't go into the woods these days, and refrain from finding reasons to keep them out of the woods.

Most everybody loves that I take Ethan hiking/camping him. As a kid, I was always in the woods....I always got poison ivy 3 or 4 times every summer. I also find it disturbing that kids sit around a play video games all day! I was either on my bike riding off to god knows where, building forts, playing tag, backyard baseball.

The media has everyone so scared to do anything but stay at home and watch the TV and worry bout the terrorist pediophile theiving mass murders!

Seeker

07-20-2009, 19:02

I never thought of showing people old posts- that's brilliant!

sorta like feedback on EBay... :D

modiyooch

07-20-2009, 19:38

Conversation with my brother in Maine last May. I'm hiking on the AT this weekend, can I crash at your house? Sure, you are not going alone again, are you? No, I'm meeting someone that I met from the internet. What?? What's his name? Gypsy. Gypsy04. what ?????!!!!! well, he's got an AT sticker on his car.....
I say, let me get this straight, you don't want me to hike alone, you won't go with me, and now you don't want me hiking with someone from the internet. I kinda understand their concern but, I brake for AT hikers. We are a different breed, I believe.
I'm a mother, and I take my kids for outings. It's special. My husband completely supports my trail habit.

Egads

07-20-2009, 19:41

I never thought of showing people old posts- that's brilliant!

sorta like feedback on EBay... :D

Well then...that eliminates most of us :rolleyes:

Would you hike with a dog?

or prefer to bike with a frog?

you might like to jog in a slog,

It's more fun than a trike in the fog :banana

sasquatch2014

07-21-2009, 07:41

Yeah my family was a bit freaked out by the fact that I was going to hike with people off the internet, aka WB. they think I am a bit crazy with this type of thing. I told them from what I could tell these folk are the safe, talk to your self on the bus crazy not the chop you up into little chunks crazy while you sleep. Now that my family has met a bunch of the people I hike with and other hikers that come through and that I help out from time to time they have all decided that I am much more nuts than the people that hike with me. I still don't get that and I don't care if the voices in my head agree with them or not.

tucker0104

07-21-2009, 07:55

I just figure if it isy time to go then it is my time to go. I could spend my whole life worried about everything and not doing anything or I could just go do it.

Homer&Marje

07-21-2009, 08:27

Just watch out for this guy....he's been causing trouble in a lot of state and national forests. Known as the Crazy Homeless Guy

<link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CHOMERJ%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5 Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CHOMERJ%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5 Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CHOMERJ%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5 Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><style>  </style> http://whiteblaze.net/forum/vbg/files/1/7/8/4/6/sdc11347.jpg <o></o>

russb

07-21-2009, 08:42

The internet is a new paradigm. Society has embraced it for communication and commerce and as a medium for virtual congregation and hanging out. However, the natural next step of doing things with people you know from work, school, the local bar, etc... has not yet been embraced on the internet. People are slow to realize that these virtual gathering places (forums) are how we meet, interact, and get to know each other and thus face-2-face meetings are "no big deal". Families will and should be concerned if you decided to go hiking with some random dude you met on the street, so it isn't a face-2-face requirement, it is the fact you don't really know them. The same is true for online communities. We get to know each other here, often not one-to-one but as a group so "hanging out" whether by exchanging pms, emails, or face-to-face meetings is just another stage. Families should be concerned if you decide to go hiking with some random person who just joined WB, whom you and/or the group doesn't know. It isn't an internet thing, it is a "knowing the person" thing. The difference is online communities we have both individual knowledge, the personal interactions between people and also the group knowledge thing. Even though we may not respond or communicate directly with another person, we have read that persons posts and interacted with others whom they have exchanged posts. We know them not because they communicated solely with us, but we have commun icated via a larger group dynamic. These virtual communities which facilitate group communication is new. Before, only a single person or small group was able to communicate with large masses (think stage and audience) and the people in the audience did not have the ability to communicate with anyone else but those immediately around them. Now everyone is "on stage" and viewed, heard by all.

/rambling

Tinker

07-21-2009, 08:49

Before I joined Whiteblaze, "Hooking up" was something entirely different. :o

Jayboflavin04

07-21-2009, 09:01

Just watch out for this guy....he's been causing trouble in a lot of state and national forests. Known as the Crazy Homeless Guy

<LINK rel=File-List href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CHOMERJ%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5 Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><LINK rel=themeData href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CHOMERJ%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5 Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><LINK rel=colorSchemeMapping href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CHOMERJ%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5 Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><STYLE>  </STYLE>http://whiteblaze.net/forum/vbg/files/1/7/8/4/6/sdc11347.jpg <O></O>

Are you serious?! Or is this a pic of one of your buddies!!

I was just talking to a girl from my hometown that likes to hike(day hikes) and goes alone because none of her friends like to hike. They all think she is nuts!!! *** we all dont go into the woods strip down and tuck our weiners in between our legs and scream "It rubs the lotion on its back!" I am going to start acting like that when people go to the beach for vacation......"OH, my god you know how much UV radiation you get at the beach,.....and do you know how many people drown in the ocean every year......you have to watch out for those jelly fish, and oh the sharks. And all you do is lay their...what fun is that. Those people are nuts!!!!

Tinker

07-21-2009, 09:10

Homer&Marje

07-21-2009, 09:13

Are you serious?! Or is this a pic of one of your buddies!!

I was just talking to a girl from my hometown that likes to hike(day hikes) and goes alone because none of her friends like to hike. They all think she is nuts!!! *** we all dont go into the woods strip down and tuck our weiners in between our legs and scream "It rubs the lotion on its back!" I am going to start acting like that when people go to the beach for vacation......"OH, my god you know how much UV radiation you get at the beach,.....and do you know how many people drown in the ocean every year......you have to watch out for those jelly fish, and oh the sharks. And all you do is lay their...what fun is that. Those people are nuts!!!!

That would be a picture...of me:D These people were very scared...I forced them to march through the mountains with me pretending to be my loved ones...they saw the end of the trip as freedom.
<link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CHOMERJ%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5 Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CHOMERJ%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5 Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CHOMERJ%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5 Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><style>  </style> http://whiteblaze.net/forum/vbg/showimage.php?i=35267&original=1&c=member&orderby=dateline&direction=DESC&imageuser=17846&cutoffdate=-1<o>:p></o>:p>

Jayboflavin04

07-21-2009, 10:09

That would be a picture...of me:D These people were very scared...I forced them to march through the mountains with me pretending to be my loved ones...they saw the end of the trip as freedom.
<LINK rel=File-List href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CHOMERJ%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5 Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><LINK rel=themeData href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CHOMERJ%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5 Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><LINK rel=colorSchemeMapping href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CHOMERJ%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5 Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><STYLE>  </STYLE>http://whiteblaze.net/forum/vbg/showimage.php?i=35267&original=1&c=member&orderby=dateline&direction=DESC&imageuser=17846&cutoffdate=-1<O>:p></O>:p>

That is why you took so many pics of that psychopath!!:D

Jayboflavin04

07-21-2009, 10:10

Lay their what?
Lay their on the beach......what fun is that!?

Pedaling Fool

07-21-2009, 10:17

Lay their on the beach......what fun is that!?
http://www.wikihow.com/Use-There,-Their-and-They're

Mags

07-21-2009, 10:28

Before I joined Whiteblaze, "Hooking up" was something entirely different. :o

I must confess, when I first saw the thread title I was thinking of the bar hopping days of an earlier time in my life.... :o

Homer&Marje

07-21-2009, 10:44

I must confess, when I first saw the thread title I was thinking of the bar hopping days of an earlier time in my life.... :o

Were you a Hill Hopper down in Prov too? I can't stand the club and bar scene there now...probably cause I have to deal with the drunken results:D

Jayboflavin04

07-21-2009, 10:50

Thanks folks...I guess i am having multiple brain farts today....:-?...Lay there on the beach!!!! I need a light bulb smiley!!!;)

Mags

07-21-2009, 11:10

Were you a Hill Hopper down in Prov too? I can't stand the club and bar scene there now...probably cause I have to deal with the drunken results:D

My old haunts circa 1994 - 1998 were the Keg Room, Polyesthers, JRs Fast Lane and god knows where else in Providence (and during the summer, the haunts moved down to Casey's in Wakefield, Mew's Tavern, the Pelham in Newport). All year 'round, we went to Dave's in Warwick. Some of it is lost in a blur of cheap beer and kamikaze shots. Ahem. (Of all those places, the only place I still go when I visit Rhody is Casey's. Still a cool little neighborhood bar and grill type place and it is not far from where my brother lives).

To make this thread related, I've met many cool people who helped me out because of Internet hook-ups. This BBS is responsible for all the great help I received back when I did the Benton MacKaye trail, for example. Rock and Dixi were nice enough to take me in and help me out. Here I am, a strange guy they never really met, but they "knew" me from White Blaze.

And because of that, I received a shuttle, a warm bed on a snowy night and again reminded of despite the silly little conflicts we can have in the hiking community, that ulitmately we are a helpful, welcoming bunch.

Red Hat

07-21-2009, 11:13

My husband initially had some questions about me hiking with OMRiver this year. We met here and read one another's journals at Trail Journals before deciding it would be okay. He was a great partner and I don't think I could have done better finding anyone than here. OMRiver's wife was also concerned, mostly about him hiking with a female. Sure, there are questions to ask, and I don't think I'd hike with someone entirely new to WB, but "hooking up" with another hiker here is usually a great way to find a hiking partner. As I said on my journal, there is a lot of difference between hiking "partners" and a hiking "couple". By the way, OMR and his wife celebrate 40 years of marriage this week, while Frank and I celebrate 22 years. (we were older and wiser when we got together, having done it wrong before)

Homer&Marje

07-21-2009, 11:34

I love everyone that I met on the internet. So much in fact they are all still in my trunk:D

ShoelessWanderer

07-21-2009, 13:40

Just assure her that your son won't be left alone with this person at all, that you'll be around supervising at all times. And also that, you're going to be meeting lots of "strangers" on the trail. It's part of the adventure!

ShoelessWanderer

07-21-2009, 13:40

And I should add...exes are crazy...you'll never make them happy! :)

sasquatch2014

07-21-2009, 14:23

A good rule of thumb is to be more nuts than anyone you are meeting.

Reid

07-21-2009, 14:33

My folks got so tired of me going solo and wondering whether I might get hurt that they rejoiced when I started meeting random people just to hike with. They actually encouraged it.

Reid

07-21-2009, 14:38

I guess it's because we are such a "2nd amendment" family too.........

Homer&Marje

07-21-2009, 14:43

I guess it's because we are such a "2nd amendment" family too.........

Aint that a shame....paranoid helicopter parents.:rolleyes:

Doctari

07-21-2009, 15:53

Seriously:
If you go, & I suggest you do, DO NOT show the X a picture of any hikers that have been out more than on a day hike. We ALL look like homeless psycopaths after a few days in the woods & mountains.

I don't know Daks, but in keeping with the "Rules" request:
Meet in a public place, like a resturant, & if you get a "bad vibe" (to be fair: Or Daks does.) Part with no hard feelings. Have this agreement BEFORE you meet.
Even if "bad vibe free" don't leave the 8 year old alone at any time, for his AND Daks protection.
Reassure the X as often as you can.
I have had my wife meet a few of my hiking partners in the past, and she is now OK with it. But then I don't hike with a child, it's just me.

Internnet meeting storys with good endings:
Met Headchange4U, the first time going to hike in RRG with my 20 year old son, we had never met, are now good friends having been on several trips together since that first one.
Before that, met Hammock Engineer when he came to let me try his hammock (I'm not sure I forgive him for that, LOL) & I now consider him one of my best friends. Again, we have hiked many miles together since then.

Reid

07-21-2009, 16:08

Aint that a shame....paranoid helicopter parents.:rolleyes:

whoa.......

Homer&Marje

07-21-2009, 17:23

I'm 27. If my parents express concern to me about what I'm doing I roll my eyes and tell them what a good job they did in teaching me and letting me free.

Oh wait...they don't express concern about me because they know that I'm independent of them at 27 and can make adult decisions now. " Dad, going hiking after my surgery"...."So....you're not going to be able to work all week?" "Well I'll work with my one good hand until I go"..." So your going hiking again? And your not going to be able to work that weekend?"

That's his concern. But I learned how to make my own decisions at a young age, caused some of my greatest accomplishments and greatest failures. All learning experiences

Don't scare them too much though and let them know that it's illegal to hike most of the AT with your second amendment rights.

Reid

07-22-2009, 09:50

They have a fear of the unknown. We've been called worse by better.

Homer&Marje

07-22-2009, 10:02

They have a fear of the unknown. We've been called worse by better.

Thank you, Actually I don't live up to most peoples ideals and standards...luckily I have my own system:rolleyes:

Jayboflavin04

07-22-2009, 10:34

This isnt the first time she has pulled crap like this. Ethan had a cubby campout last year. I worked on friday night and told her she could use my stuff to hang with her son on friday. She said, " You mean go spend the night with those strange people...I dont think so!"

Daks was totally cool about the whole situation, and my apologies go out to him for my x's mindless slandering! He said his wife has displayed the same concerns in the past. We are talking about doin a section together next spring.

Thanks for the tip of not showin the x any photos of bein out there for several days! I bet we all do look like homeless psychos! Something also crossed my mind? Do you think hiker underwear could cause suffocation by proximity to face.:-?

Homer&Marje

07-22-2009, 11:03

Something also crossed my mind? Do you think hiker underwear could cause suffocation by proximity to face.:-?

Pretty sure it's listed in the Thru Hikers Companion as a valid option:D

Jayboflavin04

07-22-2009, 11:29

That very well could be the perfect crime.....death by assssfication of hiker underwear!!

Homer&Marje

07-22-2009, 11:31

Crappy way to go....these puns could go on for awhile....:D

Jayboflavin04

07-22-2009, 12:15

The evidence would get up and walk away on its own!!!! Or spontaniously dissolve. Would should pitch this to the writers of CSI!

fredmugs

07-28-2009, 07:34

I know Daks and have hiked with him on two separate occassions including the time he blew out his knee. He is a former eagle scout and I would imagine that your son will benefit from the experience. The dude knows lots of stuff.

Rain Man

07-28-2009, 09:50

Hey, this cuts both ways! I've hiked with LilRed more than once and also with JERMM, both WBers I met here on the 'net.

But before I go back out with either of them, someone want to vouch for them, so I can feel perfectly safe?!!!

Wait, ... am I allowed to vouch for them to myself? Where does that fit in the paranoia scheme of things promoted by Jayboflavin04's ex?
:D
Gee, the rules of paranoia take you down a rat hole, don't they?
:(
I forgot Gollwood. Anybody want to vouch for him before I hike with him again?! Tennessee Viking? He okay? Now that I think of it, I've met perhaps dozens (no, hundreds) of hikers I didn't know before. Gosh, I never knew it was so unsafe out there!
:)
Rain:sunMan

.

fredmugs

07-29-2009, 11:06

I've met people on here, met them in person, handed them my car keys, and had them drive it 100 miles away and park it. It's great trying to figure out when I'll run into them as I'm hiking SOBO.

fredmugs

07-29-2009, 11:08

BTW.....here's my only rule:

I check out your profile and your past posts. If you look legit then I'm good.

Homer&Marje

07-29-2009, 11:13

Funny how half of the WB population believes that everyone they meet on the trail is just fine for them, their family and friends to hike with, meet and share rides with.

Yet also carry a gun because of how unsafe the trail is:rolleyes:

Odd.........

ERNMAN

07-31-2009, 08:01

Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet !!!!!

Jayboflavin04

07-31-2009, 10:38

That is what I kinda figure. If DAKS had only posted once or twice I would have thought twice, but he has plenty of posts. Thanks Rain Man for once again dissproving the x's paranoia. I am always hoping to run into WBers on the trail. I have recieved so much good advice from everyone! I do have to say that I am kinda nervous bout our hike. He is still young and things do happen. On the other hand, life is too short to sit around and worry bout the worst!