View Full Version : lacking support
hikingbear
10-13-2009, 19:42
Hey guys I need some input. I have been in a relationship for five and half years. The last three years or so I have been talking about doing a thru hike. My partner has always been kind of nonsupportive about the idea. Now that I have planned a start date of 2011 and am following a strict budget to save $ for the thru hike it has really gotten bad. The thing is I understand where they are coming from but they seem to not understand how strongly I feel about doing this. It has become such a passion and dream and I feel like I need to do this but am afraid it will end my relationship. I question if I want to be with someone that will not support me in accomplishing a life goal and they feel like they don't want to be with someone that can just get up and leave and expect them to put their life on hold. We are not seeing eye to eye at all and either one of us wants to compromise. Any suggestions/input would be great/ How did you handle this?
Thanks
warraghiyagey
10-13-2009, 19:47
Take a long look at the life you mean to live. Nobody has to be wrong in your scenario. . . be true to yourself. . . the right person for you (and you for them) will support you with all your dreams. . . and you them. . . enjoy your hike. . . . :sun:sun
johnnybgood
10-13-2009, 20:22
Don't let your dreams die for someone elses cause. If there is no middle ground to agree upon then an amenable parting of ways might be in order.
You first must answer which is more important to you if your partner doesn't come to the light.
Make a decision that you believe will make you happiest.:)
Wise Old Owl
10-13-2009, 20:29
Part about having a partner is celebrating your differences as well as you similarity's, so your partner won't support you on your decision... so why hit them over the head with it? Move their participation to that of a minor role...Focus on the long term goal and explain to your partner you only need them to participate in mailing food boxes and be there emotionally if you need support; or if you bail.
There is more - but I Will wait to see a reply.
dreamsoftrails
10-13-2009, 20:39
ask to him/her to explain how you leaving means that their life is suddenly put on hold. it sounds like that is almost saying that person has no life outside of you. even in a serious relationship, i think it is healthy if both can imagine how they would enjoy themselves for six months apart. however, what a relationship ought to be will vary from one person to the next. you have to decide what you need out of a relationship, what you want out of it, and if there are higher priorities in your life to the extent where the relationship will end.
modiyooch
10-13-2009, 20:41
I got it. Say you will compromise and start out with 3-4 weeks. I bet after 4 weeks of soul searching, you will know the correct answer. I go thru a tremendous amount of thought process while hiking alone.
Also, since only a % of starters actually finish and if you have to quit; you won't completely have severed the relationship.
But, your right in that you eventually need to look at the bigger picture.
Relationships are about comprise and respect. Shared dreams and goals are a part of that.
You mention lack of support, is a selective hearing thing or a negative feedback.
Partner????? married engaged living together or dating. There is a big difference in how I would approach it.
Lets face it what you are talking about is completely selfish, taking 6 months and dropping out of normal society to chase a dream. I am not judging just commenting, and maybe a tad jealous.
Big Dawg
10-13-2009, 21:02
cut him loose...
MintakaCat
10-13-2009, 21:09
Might find this thread helpful:
http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?t=46991
Trailweaver
10-13-2009, 21:10
I haven't "tested" my partner on a thru hike, and don't think I could (simply because I am not able to do a thru, physically), but he supports me in everything I attempt to do that is really important to me. I can't imagine him not doing it. I certainly do it for him, and rather expect him to do the same. If your "partner" doesn't really understand how important this is to you, then he may not understand other, equally important things further down the line (like whether to have children, how many, when, job changes, moves, etc.). Better to know now than later. Have a serious, sit down conversation with him and then make some serious choices.
You shoudn't have to forget, maybe forego, but not forget, your dreams or not live your passion in order to have a successful committed relationship. Have you clearly lovingly patiently communicated to your partner how important it is that you achieve your dreams and live your passion? Did you tell them when you were straring deeply and lovingly into their eyes? Have you clearly communicated that you want your partner to be an integral part of achieving your dreams and likewise be a part of them living there dreams? I also agree with another poster that, even if you have been in a long term committed relationship, you and your partner should still be able to enjoy a life outside of each others presence. You might want to be careful how you express this idea to your partner though. Have you expressed to your partner that you are not abandoning them? Make plans to stay in touch communicating. I'm not talking about the obligatory yet often empty sounding "I'll call you." I'm talking about making concrete plans to stay in touch, to maybe enjoy each other's "human touch." Since, I assume the two of you live in Fla., on the same eastcoast as the AT, plan on meeting each other at places along the trail to keep your connection fresh. Supplement those visits with periodic phone calls, Emails, or video conferencing. Can you get your partner interested in or take an active roll in your hike? They may not really understand what you are attempting . Also, if your partner takes a more active roll they may not feel so left out of your life. In every healthy loving relationship there should be some room for compromise and agreement. Look for it!
thomas533
10-14-2009, 00:34
I've had quite a few big dreams, some more feasible than others. My wife has hers too, and they don't necessarily coincide with mine, but we find compromise. We have a long term outlook on our relationship and both know that putting off a dream for a few years until the time is right for both of us is worth the benefit of having each other.
What you did not tell us is why your partner objects? Why is is that neither of you are able to compromise? Would your partner fell better if you put off the trip for a few years? It seems like you are asking us to justify ending your relationship only knowing half of the story.
Jim Adams
10-14-2009, 00:55
Why would your partners life be on hold? If they don't have enough ambition to be part of your dream then obviously the relationship may not be the correct one for your lifes needs and wants. Thru hiking is not a selfish thing to do. It is a goal or accomplishment that will make your life better. There is nothing stopping your partner from going with you other than they don't want to. What if the situation was reversed? I'm sure that they would expect you to support their dreams.
I have been in 2 marrages and in neither one did I ever have support from my wives for dreams, goals, ideas, needs, adventure, etc. Both ended in divorce due to unfaithfulness on my spouses part. I have nothing against marrage or relationships, I simply haven't found the right person yet. I really don't have a home life but I've gotten to do so much and see so much in my life that I feel as though I am the richest and most fortunate person that I know.
Don't give up your dreams...I did that just one time and I second guess myself about it everyday.
Maybe you just haven't found the right partner yet.
geek
The Weasel
10-14-2009, 01:09
Can't think of a question that belongs in "Straight Forward" less than this one does. Good topic, but move it.
TW
nitewalker
10-14-2009, 07:30
their comes a time in life where everyone thinks about some longtime dream and following thru with it. yours just hapens to be a thruhike of the appalacian trail. this is a dream that maybe 20% who ever try can complete the whole trail. i have been dreaming of a thruhike for 15yrs but i need to keep it on hold till my kids are old enuff to be dadless for a stretch. myjob keeps me here because i have to work the family business thru the summers but the dream still burns. if i were you and had the chance to hike a long trail mainly the AT i would jump on it because from day to day or year to year god can change your situation in a heartbeat. sometimes its not always for the better. if your relationship is true then he will be glad to see you when all done and if not oh well.plenty of fish in the sea.....good luck and have a ball.........peace
bigcranky
10-14-2009, 08:06
I don't mean to be snarky, but tell your partner it could be worse -- you could be going to spend a year in Iraq. Six months on the trail is a vacation in comparison.
lazy river road
10-14-2009, 08:26
OP...I was in the same exact scenario when I approached my GF about doing an E2E along the long trail this summer....our compromise was instead of me doing two months through out the whole summer...(a month on the LT then continue a month on the AT) I compromised on just doing the LT this summer....your situation is a bit different bc you want to thru for 6 months....if your relationship is strong enough then you two will make it through your thru....mabey have him come out and meet you in places for short weekend or week sections...have him meet you in trail towns and stay at B&B for romantic weekends.....but just like I tell my students...if you have a dream then live it because you only live once and dreams die when we do...live life to the fullest and examine what is most important to you....hope you
Not Sunshine
10-14-2009, 08:35
cut him loose...
I just cut my old bf loose after 2.5 years. I decided to do it on my 28th birthday, and so far, 28 is turning out fabulously. I agree with BigDawg...
If it's meant to be, you shouldn't have to give up your dreams. Follow your heart.:o
modiyooch
10-14-2009, 08:39
I feel that this will be a trend. As you go thru life, there will be other opportunities on a smaller scale, and you will probably be in the same situation.
You have two problems here. 1. your partner doesn't want to participate. sad, but legit. also hope.
2. your partner doesn't respect your needs. red flag
downes911
10-14-2009, 09:03
time will solve you delimma, the answers you want will come to you in time. I say plan and do your hike, it is a once in life time chance. If the relationship survives it, then put your new self into your relationship and see where that adventure takes you.
Lots of good advice and opinions already. I don't really have anything to add, except something I always remember in this type of situation. A very simple step in coming to these decisions. It's from Ann Landers, of all places, but has stuck with me.
When it comes down to it, you must ask yourself:
"Will my life be better or worse with this person in/out of it?"
That is a very basic question everyone must answer for themselves.
Jayboflavin04
10-14-2009, 10:25
I agree with most people here. I think this deserves a long talk with the BF. Sit down and be honest. Tell him that this means alot to you, and you want him to be apart of it.
The answer will come from both of you, and both of you will end up a lil less hurt.
I also think that if you are searchin for somethin (self wise). I believe that you will have more luck finding the answer on a thru hike, opposed to being in a relationship. And if you dont go...you will end up resenting him for not supporting you and the relationship ends anyway.
Blissful
10-14-2009, 11:21
I think you have found out (albeit the hard way) what this person is really all about and what they care about. Should speak volumes right there about where a relationship stands (if its really standing at all).
FritztheCat
10-14-2009, 12:25
And if you dont go...you will end up resenting him for
not supporting you and the relationship ends anyway.
This is a great point. If you change your mind (dreams) about hiking the AT because he isn't supportive, will you hold it against him? If not consciously, subconsciously?
If you haven't already, have a heart-to-heart and let him know what this means to you, why it's important and that you aren't abandoning him. It could be a fear of abandonment that is causing his lack of support.
sheepdog
10-14-2009, 12:32
be warry of taking advice from people with nothing to lose.
bigcranky
10-14-2009, 12:34
My first answer was short and kinda snarky. Trying again.
You have 5+ years in this relationship. Not something to throw away without putting a little effort into it. Try looking at it from your partner's perspective (I'll use the male pronoun here, but substitute as needed):
You say, "Honey, I want to do a thru-hike. It's something I've always dreamed about."
He hears, "Honey, I am leaving you for six months to go do something that is likely to get me killed. If the bears or the hillbillies don't get me, the mountain lions or the lightning or the cold will. Or maybe I'll meet some cool hiker dude and never come home."
These fears may not be rational, but fears rarely are. When your planned thru-hike went from a distant dream to a concrete reality, it became more of a threat (and that'll get worse as your start date gets closer.) Time to sit down and have a long, frank, calm discussion. Tell him about your dream, when it started, why you feel like you need to do this, and why you need to do it now. Ask about his feelings, try to understand them, and promise to work to overcome whatever fears he might have. You won't be able to do that immediately, but if he's willing to support the dream, then the rest of it will fall into place over time.
If he's not willing to support the dream, and if further conversation indicates that he's just being controlling, rather than fearful, then you'll have a different (but still useful) answer.
Good luck in all of this. There is no easy answer.
--Ken
I've seen lots of good advice here, that I could have used in the past. My pursuit of the outdoors was probably in effect one of the primary reasons I've been throught 2 failed long term relationships. Don't get me wrong there were other reasons, I am by far not perfect, but my spending a month out every year pursuing nature was the last straw in both cases. In retrospect I think not having the thing that was a driving force in my life in common with either of my past relationships was the key reason for the implosion. There has to be common ground in relatioships, or in other words something that is important to you both that you can enjoy together, if you can not find this commonality then the relationship is doomed, or one of you must give up what you see as important to you and be submissive to the other.
If the relationship is worth saving talk about your dreams and his, try to reach some common ground that both of you will be happy with. Should it not work out IMHO it is far better to know now than 26 years from now.
Gray Blazer
10-14-2009, 13:00
Dear Hiking Bear,
You are a girl who wants to hike the AT and you are with a guy who does not want to hike the AT? What is wrong with this picture? I can't tell you what to do, obviously. I don't know what Abby would say and I don't know what Jesus would do. This is a quandary. I'll tell you what my momma would say. "There are plenty of fish out in the ocean". There are a lot more down the road in Clearwater. I hope this helps or makes you feel better. Peace out........JJ
Everyone is referring to HIM when she said Partner.
Just an observation
Everyone is referring to HIM when she said Partner.
Just an observation
really? does this matter?
icemanat95
10-14-2009, 13:29
Everyone is referring to HIM when she said Partner.
Just an observation
Shouldn't really matter though should it? Boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever. The fact that there is a lack of support and a potential breach in the relationship is more serious than whether people are assuming the sex of the partner or not. It still sucks.
girl, do what makes you a better person. will you become a stronger, more self-sufficient person by staying at home doing what your partner wants you to do or by exploring yourself and nature on the trail? if it's your dream, then in reality, your partner's not the one holding you back, it's yourself. i say hike on, woman!
Speaking from thirty years down the trail from a similar experience, let me just say that you are far more likley to regret the things you do not do rather than the things you do. But getting back to your orginal post, it sounds like the red flag was run up the pole on the rope of financial concerns. Is your partner having a problem with you using your resources for yourself rather than sharing them? Just a thought, but certainly something that might strain a partnership.
Can't think of a question that belongs in "Straight Forward" less than this one does. Good topic, but move it.
TW
I will soon. Sent PM to poster so toes aren't stepped on.
Moderator.
GrayFox, you may have touched on a subject that some of us may not have fully considered. The OP stated that the relationship was feeling additional strain because the financial situation had changed. The OP is saving money for the trail. For example, if these two people are in a committed relationship sharing the financial expenses of living together and one decides, however admirably it may seem to pursue her dreams, to just what may be perceived as picking up and going, without making arrangements in this, and other key areas, this is deeply affecting her partner. These kinds of things may be playing a role in the partner's feeling of abandonment. It may not just be a matter of pursuing one's passions and dreams but of the situation and how one goes about pursuing those dreams. I'm just trying to look at it from her partner's perspective. Obviously, the OP's pursuit of acheiving her dreams is having consequences on others. And, the OP may not be expressing all the factors or issues that may be involved in her decisions or fully considering how these factors and issues are affecting both herself and her partner.
I'm beginning to feel like Dr. Phil! I think I should write a book. Seems nearly everyone else is.
Sounds like you intend to attempt a thru-hike regardless of your partner's feelings. So, the first thing you should do is STOP PRETENDING to care about your relationship and GET OUT NOW!
If I'm mistaken and you DO care about your relationship, then it's up to you to initiate compromise. After all, it is your selfish dream causing all the drama.
Jack Tarlin
10-14-2009, 18:45
Some good comments here. Mostly.
First off, I don't think there's anything "selfish" about your dream.
And as for initiating compromise, I get the feeling there really isn't any compromise here.....I mean you either go or you don't. If you go, your partner will be unhappy. If you don't go, it is YOU who will be unhappy. Not much room for compromise here.
Personally, I think you should go. If your relationship is fated to last, then that's what's going to happen. Sometimes, distance or apartness actually strengthens relationships.
And if the relationship is not fated to endure, wouldn't you rather find this out now, rather than years down the line?
The key thing tho, is that your partner doesn't share your dream, is trying to derail it, and is essentially saying that their wants and needs are more important than yours, and none of this, especially the last bit, are good signs.
In short, if you don't go, you're going to have all sorts of disappointment and regret issues, and most of this anger will be directed towards your partner. Is this the kind of relationship you want to be in?
I think you should go hiking. Include your partner in all facets of your planning and preparation (assuming they're interested), stay in touch as often as you can, plan on visits home if convenient, or having your partner visit you.
And by the way, don't feel too put out about your emotional state. You'd be amazed at how many folks on the Trail are in some sort of transitional point in their lives. And the thing is, the A.T. really is a good place to re-examine your life and figure things out. The vast majority of folks who thru-hike feel that their lives have changed dramatically over six months, and that the changes are almost always positive ones.
But the only way you'll know if this is true for you is if you hike.
Jack,
That is actually a very good answer. I find myself in the strange position of agreeing with you on this issue.
MikenSalem
10-14-2009, 22:52
I don't think anyone has the right to expect someone else to put their life on hold. I also don't think anyone should expect someone to support them in any quest if they don't want to. In the end it's a math question what weighs more? your relationship or your dream.
Decision's aren't that hard ether you don't have to be right, you just have to choose an ending you can live with.
All that works provided it's still your decision to make, and not the other person.
Finally I am a Christian, it's what I believe....... pray about it.
Wise Old Owl
10-14-2009, 23:15
be warry of taking advice from people with nothing to lose.
Great answer Sheepdog, I really identify and like where this thread is going. The support on my relatives towards even joining on a two miler has been very dissapointing. So I can see some of the issues here. Very tough if you are not supported by the ones you love.
hikingshoes
10-14-2009, 23:26
I understand where this lady is coming from.I been with my gf for 5yrs,now that im getting back into hiking/backpacking she thinks im Crazy,has done a 180 on me.Plus it puts a hold on your hiking due to pleasing the mate,knowing deep inside you want to go hiking but you dont want to put up with the BS/drama and isnt getting better.I just dont understand why your mater(male or female)cant just go with the flow and enjoy what ever your mate wants and feel free and enjoy life as well.lol,ok ill stop venting.
Wow jack that was a compelling account of what the OP should do. Rather well done! She must go hike. I can see clearly now that the rain is gone, It's gonna be a bright bright bright sun shiny day.
sylvia_claire
10-15-2009, 12:00
are you dating? married? are their children? are your finances combined? is your partner financially impacted by this big time? is your partner the kind of person who needs to be with you alot or not? If your partner was going on a five month trip to X(make sure you make x something you feel is as silly as they feel through hiking is) and spending 3-5k to do so how would you feel?
If you are just dating I'd be especially looking to questions of money and how your "strict budget" is affecting them and how that will continue up untill your hike in 2011. even if you don't live together that could be a strain
Jayboflavin04
10-15-2009, 12:48
Everyone is referring to HIM when she said Partner.
Just an observation
Regardless.....same points still apply regardless if her "partner" has an innie or an outtie......I think she understands, and sorry if she might be offended for our informal insertion of "him" into the equation.
Ladytrekker
10-15-2009, 12:55
Hey guys I need some input. I have been in a relationship for five and half years. The last three years or so I have been talking about doing a thru hike. My partner has always been kind of nonsupportive about the idea. Now that I have planned a start date of 2011 and am following a strict budget to save $ for the thru hike it has really gotten bad. The thing is I understand where they are coming from but they seem to not understand how strongly I feel about doing this. It has become such a passion and dream and I feel like I need to do this but am afraid it will end my relationship. I question if I want to be with someone that will not support me in accomplishing a life goal and they feel like they don't want to be with someone that can just get up and leave and expect them to put their life on hold. We are not seeing eye to eye at all and either one of us wants to compromise. Any suggestions/input would be great/ How did you handle this?
Thanks
I wish you luck, but I will say that I am divorced after 23 years of marriage and now know that it was doomed from the start. We did not have the same vision and I don't mean agree on every aspect but you fall in love with the person and then spend the next 20 years trying to change them. In my case I was the one being changed and did not like the person I was becoming. I think compromise is wonderful but giving up on who you are should not be an option. She does not understand you or she just doesn't get it. I don't think love can heal regrets.
The Weasel
10-15-2009, 16:05
This is the wrong place to seek advice.
This isn't "The Relationships Forum." It's a hiking and backpacking forum. People here start from the proposition that those are great things, and, in particular, the AT. So it's not a source of unbiased opinions, no matter how hard anyone tries.
If your questions is, "Should you hike the AT?" then we can give you comments and advice, not only on food, gear and the nature of the experience, but the strains and helps that such an adventure can place on a relationship. Do you have the skill, or stamina, or other things that make it possible to hike a long distance? Ask away.
But as to whether to crater a relationship or not? You want advice about this from people whose names you don't even know, who may or may not have (or have had) good relationships in the past? You're going to convince your partner that you're "right" because a bunch of us bozos on WhiteBlaze said "go for it." I hope not
For this one, you need someone who can talk to both of you and help you both come to carefully thought out conclusions, including whether there are other, deeper, issues involved. If you have either insurance or moeny, get a professional counselor; if you don't have the funds, ask for one who will help you for modest fees. If you have a religious advisor you both respect, she/he may be of help. In a word, use professionals who have some idea of what they are talking about. You both will 'win' if you do.
TW
Jack Tarlin
10-15-2009, 16:59
Oh, so only "professionals" can offer advice or suggestions here, Weasel?
That's pretty funny.
And yes, this is indeed a backpacking forum, dealing specifically with giving advice on long-distance hikes/thru-hikes of the Appalachhian Trail.
Yet every day, there are dozens of folks here who offer all sorts of commentary, advice, and admonishment on these subjects, yet they've never thru-hiked and in most cases, never will.
Are they therefore commenting in "the wrong place"?
Because truly, Weasel, if there were limits placed on commentary here based on mileage or Trail experience, especially as regards the phenomena of thru-hiking, in truth, we'd be hearing a lot less from a great many people.
Including you. :-?
The Weasel
10-15-2009, 17:18
Kerri:
While Jack is welcome to try to make this into some kind of debate about his (or our) right (or ability) to give you highly personal advice, not about what hiking is like, but about your relationship with someone who has been important to you in the past, and may well be in the future, the fact remains that's not hiking advice. I (and I'm sure most here) hope you get advice that works for you about that relationship from people who can really assist you, and I wish you well as does everyone else, whatever direction you end up going.
TW
sheepdog
10-15-2009, 18:42
Oh, so only "professionals" can offer advice or suggestions here, Weasel?
That's pretty funny.
And yes, this is indeed a backpacking forum, dealing specifically with giving advice on long-distance hikes/thru-hikes of the Appalachhian Trail.
Yet every day, there are dozens of folks here who offer all sorts of commentary, advice, and admonishment on these subjects, yet they've never thru-hiked and in most cases, never will.
Are they therefore commenting in "the wrong place"?
Because truly, Weasel, if there were limits placed on commentary here based on mileage or Trail experience, especially as regards the phenomena of thru-hiking, in truth, we'd be hearing a lot less from a great many people.
Including you. :-?
So basically you think its a good idea to get advice about an important relationship, from people you don't know, you don't know anything about, and who don't have anything invested if their advice goes wrong?
sheepdog
10-15-2009, 18:43
Kerri:
While Jack is welcome to try to make this into some kind of debate about his (or our) right (or ability) to give you highly personal advice, not about what hiking is like, but about your relationship with someone who has been important to you in the past, and may well be in the future, the fact remains that's not hiking advice. I (and I'm sure most here) hope you get advice that works for you about that relationship from people who can really assist you, and I wish you well as does everyone else, whatever direction you end up going.
TW
you are correct.
wrongway_08
10-15-2009, 18:48
If the hike is important, do it.
If the other person doesnt support your dream .... their loss.
Whats important to you?
Jack Tarlin
10-15-2009, 19:05
Actually, the situation described by the original poster is hardly unique.
A lot of folks go thru something like this each year, and it certainly affects their decision to take six months off and hike.
So despite what a few folks have said, I think that this is a perfectly fine and perfectly appropriate thing to be discussing here.
Those that disapprove of the dialogue can excuse themselves from it.
I assure them they won't be missed.
sheepdog
10-15-2009, 19:09
Actually, the situation described by the original poster is hardly unique.
A lot of folks go thru something like this each year, and it certainly affects their decision to take six months off and hike.
So despite what a few folks have said, I think that this is a perfectly fine and perfectly appropriate thing to be discussing here.
Those that disapprove of the dialogue can excuse themselves from it.
I assure them they won't be missed.
Awe now you went and hurt my feelings.
Big Dawg
10-15-2009, 19:40
because a bunch of us bozos on WhiteBlaze said "go for it." I hope not
calling some people bozo's you don't even know.... :confused:
I'm pretty sure hikingbear is putting all of the advice on this thread into perspective.
While I've read some great advice about relationships and some positive comments about acheiving dreams, including some personal accounts of like situations of some posters, all any of us can do is base advice on one paragraph and nine sentences from the OP. I don't think that sums up the OP's entire relationship, issues, or situation in the matter of whether or not to hike the AT or the motivations or concerns of her partner. Any of us can read many things into this situation without knowing the full picture.
Old Grouse
10-15-2009, 21:08
[quote=Big Dawg;907647]calling some people bozo's you don't even know.... :confused:
I think TW was just channeling the Firesign Theater's album, "I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus."
Doooglas
10-15-2009, 21:22
You only live once.:sun
Make sure and break your boots in well. 2 pairs ! Send one ahead so when the first wear out the second will be ready to go.:cool:
The Weasel
10-15-2009, 21:29
[quote=Big Dawg;907647]calling some people bozo's you don't even know.... :confused:
I think TW was just channeling the Firesign Theater's album, "I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus."
OG:
Everything You Know Is Wrong.
;)
TW
superman
10-15-2009, 21:46
Hey guys I need some input. I have been in a relationship for five and half years. The last three years or so I have been talking about doing a thru hike. My partner has always been kind of nonsupportive about the idea. Now that I have planned a start date of 2011 and am following a strict budget to save $ for the thru hike it has really gotten bad. The thing is I understand where they are coming from but they seem to not understand how strongly I feel about doing this. It has become such a passion and dream and I feel like I need to do this but am afraid it will end my relationship. I question if I want to be with someone that will not support me in accomplishing a life goal and they feel like they don't want to be with someone that can just get up and leave and expect them to put their life on hold. We are not seeing eye to eye at all and either one of us wants to compromise. Any suggestions/input would be great/ How did you handle this?
Thanks
He doesn't support your dream...damn? hack him to pieces in his sleep, dehydrate or smoke hike. Put him in re-supply boxes and have him as your re-supply all the way up the trail. Now, how much more supportive can he be.:)
I am never camping in your backyard.:eek:
Rocket Jones
10-16-2009, 08:50
He doesn't support your dream...damn? hack him to pieces in his sleep, dehydrate or smoke hike. Put him in re-supply boxes and have him as your re-supply all the way up the trail. Now, how much more supportive can he be.:)
(mental note: avoid the "who's on your dehydrator?" thread)
sheepdog
10-16-2009, 09:14
He doesn't support your dream...damn? hack him to pieces in his sleep, dehydrate or smoke hike. Put him in re-supply boxes and have him as your re-supply all the way up the trail. Now, how much more supportive can he be.:)
a winner!!!!!
88BlueGT
10-16-2009, 15:03
I gave up my chance to go last year because of my girlfriend (and some other reasons but the GF was the final breaking point in my not going on my trip). At the time, it seemed like the right decision. Well, I stopped saving for my trip and stopped planning and everything that I had saved previously I went out and spent on dumb stuff.
Just so happens, a month before my "original leave date", we broke up, after almost 6 years. So in the end, if I did what I KNEW I should have done (which was go on my trip) I would of just finished a month or two ago and everything would have been perfect. Now I'm wrapped up in another girlfriend, school, etc. and god only knows when my next opportunity is going to be to get out there for a long trip. Hopefully, I'll be able to get out for a month or so after the winter breaks.