View Full Version : wish my girlfriend was into hiking!!!
PUNKINPUSS11
01-29-2010, 23:21
My girlfriend is not into hiking, especially long distances. Its becoming a problem cause all my vaca's are for hiking and not with her. anyone run into this prob.????
Graywolf
01-29-2010, 23:25
My girlfriend is not into hiking, especially long distances. Its becoming a problem cause all my vaca's are for hiking and not with her. anyone run into this prob.????
Yeah,ME!!! She's gone now and I get to hike more...
God, I'm going to miss her.....
But then again, maybe not!!!
Graywolf
Start her out on day hikes, then progress to overnights then weekends and so one. Think baby steps one bit at a time.
johnnybgood
01-30-2010, 00:01
I've had years of experience at this particular problem.
Discuss this with her and come to a compromise where she is a partner in your hiking plans without her ever stepping foot on the trail.
Have her drop you off at the trailhead and plan a mid hike get together where you both can enjoy each others company, i.e. a scenic place for a picnic or a night at a B&B not far from the trail.
Make plans during the year for trips that she wants to take that make her a happy camper and after a while maybe she'll take an interest in hiking.
My wife is not into hiking either but she will drop me off at a trail for a few days or a week and meet me along the trail when she gets her next day off from work . Last year I sectioned for a week and we had a vacation together for a week in New York City .
It's all good and everyones satisfied.
iamscottym
01-30-2010, 00:18
My fiancee and I have been together 4 1/2 years and its yet to cause a problem. We've tried all sorts of hiking, from overnights to day hikes to (ugh) car camping with all the amenities of home. She simply does not like outdoor activities. However she does like going to the spa and going shopping and all things girly, which of course I abhor. When I go off on trips she busies herself with the girly things and we're both happy.
double d
01-30-2010, 00:35
Lots of single women who like to hike,maybe a time for alittle change in your dating life??????
Lots of single women who like to hike,maybe a time for alittle change in your dating life??????
Yea that's what I was going to say. If you married now, that's another story. Got to try and make that work.
skinewmexico
01-30-2010, 01:05
Women usually wait until you're married to not like your hobbies.
So very true. Still has a way of working out though. ;)
take-a-knee
01-30-2010, 01:37
Any woman to sorry to hike will likely die fat...or rail thin in a nursing home. GET OFF YOUR A$$!
Once you are married you can leave 'em home.
Until then, take them with you or all bets are off.
Start her out on day hikes, then progress to overnights then weekends and so one. Think baby steps one bit at a time.
Very unlikely you will change her. Your three options are:
1. Change girlfriends
2. Quit hiking, and do what she likes.
3. Accept the fact that you have different recreational hobbies, and live with the fact that you will be doing these things solo.
Oh, BTW only morons follow relationship advice given freely on WB.
Any woman to sorry to hike will likely die fat...or rail thin in a nursing home. GET OFF YOUR A$$!
ouch! that's brutal! i bet you're real popular with the ladies!
iamscottym
01-30-2010, 04:51
Women usually wait until you're married to not like your hobbies.
Uh oh, looks like I could be in trouble. Is this something a bigger diamond can solve? :-?
My girlfriend is not into hiking, especially long distances. Its becoming a problem cause all my vaca's are for hiking and not with her. ~
To put it bluntly, this isn't your girlfriend's problem. Unless she misled you about her interest (or lack of) in hiking, you should have anticipated the problem.
You'll have to decide how important long distance hiking is to you and make some choices (or compromise).
Good luck.
Been there, done that.
Rule #1: Be true to yourself.
Rule #2: Keep looking and don't settle for less than you deserve.
If you want a partner who shares your hobby, keep doing your hobby and you will find her.
I found mine - she hikes, camps, and is learning flyfishing too. We are out all the time.
Don't give up. DON'T SETTLE!
I feel your pain. Boo-Boo's right-baby steps.
GeneralLee10
01-30-2010, 11:47
I have the very same issue. I am married though so not much I can do other than support each other. I spent money on a pack and gear for her and the kid. Yet have they went with me well the kid has but she does not like being without mommy. So I am a one man band when it comes to hiking. She is very supportive about my interest anyway. I have even been asked at times Don't you have some where you can go hike? I tell her just wait I will be gone for months soon enough.
I don't think you should give up on her could be the best person ever to come in your life.
johnnybgood
01-30-2010, 12:08
Once you are married you can leave 'em home.
Until then, take them with you or all bets are off.
true. I found that works for me. She sees it as a vacation. Shopping at the mall ... yada yada yada.:D
Very unlikely you will change her. Your three options are:
1. Change girlfriends
2. Quit hiking, and do what she likes.
3. Accept the fact that you have different recreational hobbies, and live with the fact that you will be doing these things solo.
I'd take option #3
Oh, BTW only morons follow relationship advice given freely on WB.
Ummm !!! Yeah .... like what was I thinking anyway.:datz
I agree with Jesse and Johnnybgood and Indwlkr. Be resolved that you aren't going to change her. Just figure, as long as she doesn't give you grief about your hiking passion, things will be fine. Their loss!!
I had a litmus test....4 days on the AT in the grayson area of Virginia. Woke up at Thomas knob shelter and asked Patricia as we looked across the lower peaks jutting thru the clouds "what do you feel right now?" Her reply was I feel like I've been kissed by God". We've been married for 5 years now...this year I will be attempting a solo thru...with her blessing and encouragement " the only reason I want to hear of you leaving the trail is with a broke bone...and It best be a bad break" What more could a fella ask for.:sun
Women marry men thinking that they can change them, and they don't. Men marry women thinking that they will never change, and they do. Heard that somewhere.
OutdoorsMan
01-30-2010, 13:23
What an interesting thread - so much truth has been spoken here. My hiking, canoeing girlfriend became my wife (26 years now) and after a car camping trip about 6 years into the marriage she announced that she would NEVER sleep in a tent again. Well, we now have a travel trailer and I have a backpack (she doesn't).
Chaco Taco
01-30-2010, 15:10
I posted a similar thread 4 years ago. Finally moved on. Hiking is very important to me. Now I have the best hiking partner ever.;)
My hiking, canoeing girlfriend became my wife (26 years now) and after a car camping trip about 6 years into the marriage she announced that she would NEVER sleep in a tent again.
You need to introduce her to hammocks! ;)
superman
01-30-2010, 15:36
Women marry men thinking that they can change them, and they don't. Men marry women thinking that they will never change, and they do. Heard that somewhere.
You may have heard that from me. I was married to a woman for 18.5 years who didn't like to hike. It's best to find a person who likes what you like. If you like to hike find a hiker babe. ;)
bullseye
01-30-2010, 15:54
Where's it written that she has to like every hobby you have or you hers? That doesn't doom the relationship. My wife will day hike, but has never been on an overnight. She has made it very clear that she will never sleep in the woods. That's cool b/c I'll never build a scrap book page:D. I get a little away time to appreciate her more (and her me most times), and we've been married 19 years. If you have enough vacation time maybe you could compromise and share a little for something she would like to do like a beach vacation or something. If you are serious about someone, a real relationship is not all about you, but about both of you and give and take. You're not married so you really just need to decide whether she's worth a little sacrifice. If not, she's not the one for you anyway.;) Just my $0.02, and that's all it's worth.
GoldenBear
01-30-2010, 16:09
I love back-packing, and think nothing of hiking for five or six hours without taking off my pack. My wife loves the outdoors, just not hours of non-stop hiking with pack. So why do we BOTH love it when I go off on a hiking vacation?
Simple: she drops me off at the trail head and spends a day doing the things SHE loves. Then she picks me up at the other end of the trail, we go back to the B&B, I take a shower, we go for a quiet meal, and ... let's just say, in the movies, the camera would pan to a roaring fireplace and fade out.
I feel truly blessed that I get a free shuttle service, with benefits. You can do the same. No law says that two lovers have to enjoy the same hobbies.
Couples don't have to share every hobby/recreation. I only think it's a problem if one doesn't let their partner do the things they enjoy. Just my opinion.
My wife is actually glad to get me out of the house for about 2 weeks every couple of months or so.
I don't see a problem here. Been married over 30 years, she doesn't like hiking, but will pick me up or drop me off anywhere!
JustaTouron
01-30-2010, 17:20
My wife won't go camping. She will go on short day hikes. (As in short enough that she doesn't have to pee in the woods.) But even that is pretty rare.
It actually works out quite well. About 2 weekends a year I go with a buddy and get away from her, the kids, work, everything. And several times a year I will go with the kids and she gets to be alone. Works out great, I get some quality time with my kids and she gets a break from them. Some times she will hook up with one of her friends (if the friend can get rid of her kids), sometimes she will go shopping, sometimes she will just get the house to herself and can read a book and take a bubble bath in peace. She has dropped me and the kids off at one end of the trail and then checked out a mall or outlet she has wanted to go to and then picked us up at the other end then we go out for dinner. Twice my daugher did the shopping instead of the hike, which allowed for some mother daugher time and me to hang out with my sons.
One of her hobbies is football, which I could care less about. I watch one game a year. Actually I don't even watch it I just eat the food at the party and talk to my friends' wives about the commercials. Actually, I think she was telling me that is coming up soon. She is also all miffed over the fact the all star game is before the super cup this year or something like that. She even won my work's make believe football league two years in a row. We were pretending it was my team but my coworker realized that I must be getting help somewhere cause I didn't even know that one of my players was the guy in all the mastercard commercials. So now they all know she coaches my team. Its a lot of work too, she spend hours on line, looking at magazines, watching ESPN. She has gotten one of my sons hooked on it to. Waste of prime foliage time if you ask me.
GeneralLee10
01-30-2010, 17:53
Some very very good points have been made in this thread. I just can't seem to get my wife to drop me off I have to it myself. lol All in all it makes our relationship better vacations apart are good for the both of us.
Highpointbound
01-30-2010, 23:19
Lots of single women who like to hike,maybe a time for alittle change in your dating life??????
Why is this necessary? OP, how about a little compromise? Seriously, do ALL of your vacations HAVE to be centered around hiking? I mean, i like hiking, but i dont want every day off, or every vacation, to be nothing but hiking.
How about having a vacation here and there that involves different things? It just might broaden your own horizons. Ask yourself if your girlfriend is a good woman all around. Good people are hard to find without throwing them aside because they dont get into every single thing you do.
I am a huge dog lover. And i'm going to be doing much more showing of dogs in shows, etc. I dont expect any boyfriend i have to be as involved as I am with dogs, but they just have to accept it. I have "dog buddies" that I do the dog stuff with anyway. As a matter of fact..I have the "hiking buddies" I have the "dinner and movies buddies" I have the "dog buddies" and I have the "lets go on a girls night out to a strip club buddies".
LOL Yeah..I know i know. But my point is, when I want to do certain things, I ask the people i know that like that specific thing, and go with them. My boyfriend doesnt ALWAYS have to want to do everything I do.
I say pick your battles. If she is a good person, and treats you well, go some place else once in a while for vacations.
How important is hiking to you?
If it's important enough, you'll get out of this relationship while you still can. My wife does LOTS of shorter trips with me. She's let me appreciate shorter 8-10 mile days. I'm willing to redefine the kind of hikes I'll do from time to time. But when summer hits, she lets me do my own longer hikes on my own. That was my balance.
But I let a LOT of non-hiking girlfriends go by the wayside along the way. Looking back, I don't regret losing any of them. Better for the both of us, since long-distance hiking is a part of what I am.
double d
01-30-2010, 23:38
[QUOTE=Highpointbound;961516]Why is this necessary? OP, how about a little compromise?
*Answer-NO, life's too short when it comes to the freedom of hiking.
Seriously, do ALL of your vacations HAVE to be centered around hiking? *Answer-Almost all-San Diego is nice during the wintertime, too cold to hike the AT in most places, especially in Mass where you live.
I mean, i like hiking, but i dont want every day off, or every vacation, to be nothing but hiking.
*Answer- "Suck the marrow, gather thy rosebuds while they may" (or something like that).
I have the "dog buddies" and I have the "lets go on a girls night out to a strip club buddies".
*Answer-Ok, call me when you take the "strip club buddies" out on a night on the town as you can have the "dog buddies" all to yourself on the other nights.
LOL Yeah..I know i know. But my point is, when I want to do certain things, I ask the people i know that like that specific thing, and go with them. My boyfriend doesnt ALWAYS have to want to do everything I do.
*Answer-doesn't sound very interesting, especially behind closed doors, if you know what I mean
I say pick your battles. If she is a good person, and treats you well, go some place else once in a while for vacations.
*Answer-Lots of good women, but only a few great ones, and I rather play in the major leagues then in the minors.
**Final Answer: "Those that are willing to sacrifice their liberty for a little bit of security, deserve nothing" Ben Franklin.
Highpointbound
01-31-2010, 00:04
[QUOTE=Highpointbound;961516]Why is this necessary? OP, how about a little compromise?
*Answer-NO, life's too short when it comes to the freedom of hiking.
Seriously, do ALL of your vacations HAVE to be centered around hiking? *Answer-Almost all-San Diego is nice during the wintertime, too cold to hike the AT in most places, especially in Mass where you live.
I mean, i like hiking, but i dont want every day off, or every vacation, to be nothing but hiking.
*Answer- "Suck the marrow, gather thy rosebuds while they may" (or something like that).
I have the "dog buddies" and I have the "lets go on a girls night out to a strip club buddies".
*Answer-Ok, call me when you take the "strip club buddies" out on a night on the town as you can have the "dog buddies" all to yourself on the other nights.
LOL Yeah..I know i know. But my point is, when I want to do certain things, I ask the people i know that like that specific thing, and go with them. My boyfriend doesnt ALWAYS have to want to do everything I do.
*Answer-doesn't sound very interesting, especially behind closed doors, if you know what I mean
I say pick your battles. If she is a good person, and treats you well, go some place else once in a while for vacations.
*Answer-Lots of good women, but only a few great ones, and I rather play in the major leagues then in the minors.
**Final Answer: "Those that are willing to sacrifice their liberty for a little bit of security, deserve nothing" Ben Franklin.
Sacrificing your liberty?? Ahh hahahahahahaha. Ha! Ha! How cornball is that? Gimme a break, dude. Seriously? You are so wrapped tight in the skivvies that you think merely compromising here and there for someone is sacrificing your liberty???
And the "mere" fact that a woman, or man, likes hiking doesn't make them automatically a "great one". There are a whole lot of things that need to come into play for that.
But hey its your life. Go for those "major league chicks". And no..you could NEVER come along on our girls night out. We might want to go to a different club than you, and you might think that it would "sacrifice your liberty" and what not to change your plans. :D Cause, things have to be YOUR way, right? Gotcha! I feel like i should be goose stepping over here or something something.
double d
01-31-2010, 03:45
[QUOTE=Highpointbound;961536][QUOTE=double d;961526][/B]
Sacrificing your liberty?? Ahh hahahahahahaha. Ha! Ha! How cornball is that? Gimme a break, dude. Seriously? You are so wrapped tight in the skivvies that you think merely compromising here and there for someone is sacrificing your liberty???
*Answer: Cornball? Read your American history, the Revolutionary War was based on not compromising Liberty and so do I, or do you prefer to think of it this way, your home state would be "compromised" to the British, while the rest of the colonies would seperate and form the United States
But hey its your life.
*Answer: True and compromise, thats for divorce lawyers who talk people into giving away half their s*** because they spent a life time "comprising" about their own life. Don't ever forget this quote, "Most men lead lives of quite desperation". That was written by your fellow Mass. citizen and its about not "compromising".
We might want to go to a different club than you, and you might think that it would "sacrifice your liberty" and what not to change your plans.
*Answer: Ok, I was wrong, somethings are worth my liberty, like watching hot women party :D
Gotcha!
*Answer: How? I've never been a member of the Communist party, even in college when I was surrounded by Godless Commie Sociology professors.
I feel like i should be goose stepping over here or something.
*Answer: Why? Are you a closet member of the Wehrmacht?
I love back-packing, and think nothing of hiking for five or six hours without taking off my pack. My wife loves the outdoors, just not hours of non-stop hiking with pack. So why do we BOTH love it when I go off on a hiking vacation?
Simple: she drops me off at the trail head and spends a day doing the things SHE loves. Then she picks me up at the other end of the trail, we go back to the B&B, I take a shower, we go for a quiet meal, and ... let's just say, in the movies, the camera would pan to a roaring fireplace and fade out.
I feel truly blessed that I get a free shuttle service, with benefits. You can do the same. No law says that two lovers have to enjoy the same hobbies.
free shuttle 'with benefits' is the most awesome thing i've ever heard of! i'll have some of that! :)
Chaco Taco
01-31-2010, 18:52
Why is this necessary? OP, how about a little compromise? Seriously, do ALL of your vacations HAVE to be centered around hiking? I mean, i like hiking, but i dont want every day off, or every vacation, to be nothing but hiking.
How about having a vacation here and there that involves different things? It just might broaden your own horizons. Ask yourself if your girlfriend is a good woman all around. Good people are hard to find without throwing them aside because they dont get into every single thing you do.
I am a huge dog lover. And i'm going to be doing much more showing of dogs in shows, etc. I dont expect any boyfriend i have to be as involved as I am with dogs, but they just have to accept it. I have "dog buddies" that I do the dog stuff with anyway. As a matter of fact..I have the "hiking buddies" I have the "dinner and movies buddies" I have the "dog buddies" and I have the "lets go on a girls night out to a strip club buddies".
LOL Yeah..I know i know. But my point is, when I want to do certain things, I ask the people i know that like that specific thing, and go with them. My boyfriend doesnt ALWAYS have to want to do everything I do.
I say pick your battles. If she is a good person, and treats you well, go some place else once in a while for vacations.
Are you showin off???
JustaTouron
01-31-2010, 19:06
I agree with highpointbound....and would add.....
What makes our marriage work isn't that we are perfectly compatible or see eye to eye on every issue or that we are both perfect....we aren't.
Our marriage works because she is willing to put up with my imperfections and I am willing to put up with hers.
It is also to our benefit we have different interests. Cause quite frankly I would go nuts if spent 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week with her.
And the fact that we have gotten pretty good at accepting each others imperfections has had another benefit....our kids ain't perfect either and they too have diverse interests that neither me nor my wife share. And we have put up with them. And our kids put up with us, even though they think we are some times quirky and weird. And even overprotective at times.
I have never met a women that is perfect. But I did fall in love with one who was willing to put up with my imperfections and accept me for who I was. And I think that is about all you can ever hope for.
Start her out on day hikes, then progress to overnights then weekends and so one. Think baby steps one bit at a time.
Well, when somewhat belatedly i tried to settle down, the only one left that seemed to want to marry me, let me know in no uncertain terms that she was "not going to lower myself to sleeping on the ground."
But being a bit older I gambled. And guess what. She came around. First she agreed to sleep in my elderly parents camper. Then we all five tried to camp in the same tiny tent camper. (By then there were five of us. Brenda was already 10 months old and we were in Baxter State Park in the shadow of Katahdin.)
So on the next trip a year later, with Brenda then almost 2, I convinced everyone, even Brenda, that a tent of our own, without my parents might work better.
Five more years later, me, my wife, Brenda, and Brenda's two younger siblings climbed Katahdin to the consternation of the rangers who seemed to think that my youngest, being only five, was too young for such challenges -- even though I knew, having observed all of them in considerable detail, that though the youngest was a bit below me in hiking skills, he was far above the others in our family.
All I'm suggesting is that humans are confusingly different. Something like other animals.
Weary
PUNKINPUSS11
01-31-2010, 21:42
I find something romantic about spending tough times and great times on the trail with ur signifagant other. I want her 2 see the vistas, feel the pain, laugh, be awe inspired, everything that goes along with trail life with me. Every vacation she ends up missing cause hiking is involved. When a big part of ur life is hiking, a problem arises.
My wife is not an outdoor person AT ALL. However, on a recent vacation, we developed a great compromise which we plan to repeat in various ways.
We took a family vacation on Mackinac Island (located where Lake Michigan and Lake Huron come together). The island permits no motorized traffic. You walk, bike or take horse drawn carriages everywhere.
For me, the island had places to hike, bike, and visit historic sites. I was surrounded by trees, animals, small streams and Lake Michigan. For my wife, there were stores, candy shops, antique places and lots of Victorian homes with gorgeous flower gardens. The kids loved the pool at the hotel and access to television. At night, we ate at nice restaurants, slept in soft beds, and enjoyed our hotel room with its private jacuzzi. Not a bad way to end a day of hiking and biking! Compromise is not always a horrible thing!
On our second day, my wife suggested that we (as a family) walk the entire 8.25 mile "road" that circles the island. We spent that day enjoying woods, animals, and Lake Michigan. We went wading in Lake Michigan. At the halfway point of the walk, there was a small food "shack"/restaurant and a "real" bathroom. The family stopped for ice cream at the end of the hike. Thus, I was able to be out walking in nature with my family and they had some of the "creature comforts" that they believe they "need". Compromise is a good thing. (A two-person jacuzzi at the end of a 8.25 mile hike is not all that bad either!)
We have discussed taking other similar vacations where we can combine our different interests. Compromise can be good.
LIhikers
02-04-2010, 22:31
I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.
My wife loves to hike, backpack, and camp as much as I do.
Over the last 8 or nine years we've covered the AT from Harper's Ferry to Franconia Notch, about 800 miles. That's in addition to a lot of local 2 and 3 day trips and day hikes. Then there were the 2 dogsledding, camping trips in northern Minnesotoa and we're toying with the idea of a bicycle, camping, touring trip :)
Tennessee Viking
02-04-2010, 23:17
The one thing you can do is to trick or coax her into hiking. Have her walk with you down through Damascus, the Creeper, or tell her there ponies up in Graysons.
Just take her on very easy hikes. Laurel Falls, Standing Indian summit, Roan Balds...just easy 1-2 mile walks then build her up.