View Full Version : boring and depressed after my thru
Trailbender
09-19-2010, 10:28
I summitted Katahdin on August 12th. Ever since I have gotten back, I am bored and restless. I have taken short hikes on weekends, which helps. I am back in college, only taking 9 hours this semester. I feel like everything since my thru is boring and sucks. I just kinda go through each day, and it is over before I know it.
If I didn't have 25K in student loans, I would just go live on the trail. I am considering it anyways. Everything is drab and boring now.
It might be the 25k that has you down as much as the change in lifestyle. I suppose you can take some comfort in the fact that many people are going through the same sort of thing. Good luck with your studies. You might find and take up some new interest, that is compatable with your studies. What are you studying, if you don't mind me asking?
johnnybgood
09-19-2010, 11:30
Hang in there no matter what . Get that college degree and the career that you dreamed and things will start to look up.
There are many shorter hikes in your future -- start planning that next adventure.
All the luck Trailbender and happy trails to you .
Don't forget the old saying, "All good things must come to an end" Life is boring and does suck for the most part. You have to make your own fun. Have you outgrown your major? Perhaps a change to a profession that will keep you outdoors is in order.
Forest Ranger? DNR Officer? Border Patrol? (that last one was a joke....)
johnnybgood has nailed it. Start planning the next adventure. Remember, planning is half the fun...
You should quit school and go hike the PCT or the CDT.
Trailbender, what you are experiencing is a normal reaction. It is similar to mourning and grief in the effect on your life. Go to the library and flip trough a book or two about dealing with grief.
I need to know more about you before I can offer you any decent advice so take my comments as just my own opinion.
You are thirty, you have just compleated a dream summer where you have had a degree of freedom and responsibility your younger classmates and even your teachers can not hope to understand. Do not look to them for help or understanding because you are not likely to find a kindred soul at school. Look for an outdoor oriented club like Sierra or local hiking club and do as much as you can with them. And we are here to at least sympathise with you.
As for school, knuckle down and get it done. Load up on credits next semester and just do it. My take is this, you get the same degree for C's as for A's. Just hope you are not a med student! Look at it like getting the miles in to get to the grocery store before it closes. Get that degree in your pocket and move on with your life. Think of the podium, hand shake, and parchment as another version of Katadin.
Lion King
09-19-2010, 12:37
things to do at college to take your mind off it:
Get laid
Drink
Get laid again
Hey Hollywood,
You can come live at Green Mountain House. :D
Plan another thru right after grad !!
Trailbender
09-19-2010, 13:15
It might be the 25k that has you down as much as the change in lifestyle. I suppose you can take some comfort in the fact that many people are going through the same sort of thing. Good luck with your studies. You might find and take up some new interest, that is compatable with your studies. What are you studying, if you don't mind me asking?
Nah, I don't worry or focus on debt. I will get it paid off when I graduate, or not. Either way, that is a future worry.
I think I will plan a PCT hike, for after my graduation. I do enjoy my short hikes at local parks, I wasn't knocking them. It does help a lot, just to take a day hike or an overnight every weekend.
rambunny
09-19-2010, 17:34
I can relate-i had a hard time adjusting to re-entry. Things that helped me-talking with others that had long distance hiked ( find someone no matter what year they did it). Talking to childrens groups-Scouts-churches ect. Put on a 1 day seminar-So you want to hike the AT-and share what you've learned. Imersing myself in trail books . Good luck
bigcranky
09-19-2010, 18:15
Hey, Hollywood,
Three things:
1. Short term -- if you find that you are having a hard time dealing with this on your own, then your campus counseling center may be able to help. Of course at this distance no one can tell if you are just suffering from a little ennui, which is to be expected at this point, or the beginnings of something else. Given your description of "I just kinda go through each day" it wouldn't hurt to just swing by there one day and have a chat. (I am speaking as someone who clearly should have gone to the counseling center in college, and regret not doing so.)
2. Medium term -- does your college have an outdoor club? Can you volunteer as a leader? Not only with this get you outside, it will let you use your experience to teach others, and put you in the company of like-minded people.
3. Long term -- you didn't say how far along you are in your college education. However, as others have mentioned, your experience on the Trail should give you some insight into how you want to spend the rest of your life. Now is the time to start that process -- with your college major, with any volunteer opportunities, internships, basically anything you can do to (a) figure out what to do, and (b) make it happen.
Good luck.
tucker0104
09-19-2010, 18:38
I have a degree and a great job but every day I think about giving it up for the laid back life. I am envious of those that can just do what they want when they want too. They work as waiters or bartenders and can just pick up and go. I am planning on paying off my house, hiking the rest of the trail, and then buying a sailboat and becoming a charter sailboat captain in the carribean.
Blissful
09-19-2010, 19:02
If you are bored, help some youth in your community get out and enjoy the outdoors. Get involved in Big Brothers, Scouting, etc Do things for others instead of thinking of your woes - it does help. And be glad you had the experience you did.
hey man, atleast you finished! I've still got that post trail depression from '09 with the added bonus of knowing I failed. With my self esteem at its lowest possible level I was about to seek professional help when realized that I could simply hike again. 2011-- my year of redemption!
I summitted Katahdin on August 12th. Ever since I have gotten back, I am bored and restless. I have taken short hikes on weekends, which helps. I am back in college, only taking 9 hours this semester. I feel like everything since my thru is boring and sucks. I just kinda go through each day, and it is over before I know it.
If I didn't have 25K in student loans, I would just go live on the trail. I am considering it anyways. Everything is drab and boring now.There is a thru-hiker who is a member here and hiked last year and posted a thread similar to yours. I guess it was mentioned that the post hike feelings could be attributed to a post thru-hike "funk":-?:http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?t=55792
Pilgrim2K
09-19-2010, 22:40
Trailbender, I noticed that you live in Tennessee. There is the ALDHA Gathering coming up October 15-17 in Pipestem WVa. which is only a few hours from you. It is a great weekend filled with thru-hikers from not only this year, but from years past. It is another way for you to ease back into the off trail world. It will also help you connect with others that are planning their new adventures. You can get more info at www.aldha.org (http://www.aldha.org).
Check it out and I hope to see you there.
singing wind
09-20-2010, 00:01
Trailbender - congrats on your thru-hike!
Re-entry can be quite a challenge and a massive rollcoaster negotiating the more mudane PUDs that one can encounter along the way. Sometimes walking this terrain requires as much planning and foresight as preparing for a thru-hike...not only to be able to appreciate your accomplishment but also to be able to go forward.
Although it may not seem like it right now, hopefully your reentry process will help you gain skills in other areas that can help you with your life and future goals, just as your thru-hike challenged you to learn and grow.
Other posters have offered some good suggestions - I've often found it helpful to keep physically active as well as renew old interests or begin new ones. Sounds like you've got alot to offer.
Good luck with everything and all the best with your studies.
I'm currently going through the exact same thing....
I'd agree with going to the counseling center... I have an appointment for this thursday to go talk to someone. and at least at Penn State where I am it's free..
I've been having alot of anxiety,, it's slowly getting better each week though and It's not nearly as bad as it was right after I got back to classes and such...
Old Hiker
09-21-2010, 14:01
I'd say to join a Scout Troop somewhere - you have instant "trail-cred" since you are a thru-hiker. Don't want to go every week? Be a Merit Badge counselor - any and all outdoor type Merit Badges: Backpacking, Hiking, Wilderness Survival, etc. Volunteer to lead a small(ish) group of Scouts on a week long section hike of the AT near you. Check with your college - will they give you credits for the hike as life experience? If not, try to change the policy so that they could and will.
sevensixtwo187
09-21-2010, 14:16
things to do at college to take your mind off it:
Get laid
Drink
Get laid again
Now your talking ... :D
You should quit school and go hike the PCT or the CDT.
things to do at college to take your mind off it:
Get laid
Drink
Get laid again
Be careful of what you ask for here on WB because this is the kind of stuff you will get! LOL! They may not be entirely wrong either! LOL!
One way I take the edge off boredom and anxiety between hikes is by doing what was advised by RamBunny, OldCranky, Blissful, and Pilgrim. I share what I've learned on my hikes with others during that time. If your life's hiking experiences have brought you new perspectives, love, wisdom, laughter, etc they are worth sharing with others. Volunteering is a great way to accomplish this!
I am also deeply passionate about my career as a Landscape Designer when I'm not hiking. I throw myself into that by incorporating what I've learned while hiking into my designs, work ethics, and attitude on the job!
Before you went on your thru-hike, it was probably the biggest thing on your mind. You were filled with excitement and anticipation. Now that it's over, your left with emptiness. JohnnyBGood and Lilred are dead-on; start planning the next adventure.
Aggie hiker
09-22-2010, 11:16
Hey Hollywood, congratulations on completing your thru hike. I enjoyed spending time with you on the southern part of the trail. I have been wondering, did your shoes make it all the way?
Boomhauer
Trailbender
09-22-2010, 13:11
Hey Hollywood, congratulations on completing your thru hike. I enjoyed spending time with you on the southern part of the trail. I have been wondering, did your shoes make it all the way?
Boomhauer
I got to Harper's ferry, they had around 1700 total miles on them(sections before my thru, ect). Merrell sent me a new pair in Harper's Ferry. I repaired them with parachute cord, same as the old ones. I still wear them.
You might try and see if you can present your experience as a slide show or backpacking presentation to groups in the community. I've done it a couple of times and it really was fun and made me feel good.
Sounds like you also need to do more. 9 hours of class isn't much. Can you get a job or join something? I found after my hike I really liked super boring repetetive jobs. I could think about the trail and my experience while I worked. I sort of eased back into "artificial" life like that.
Before you went on your thru-hike, it was probably the biggest thing on your mind. You were filled with excitement and anticipation. Now that it's over, your left with emptiness. JohnnyBGood and Lilred are dead-on; start planning the next adventure.
I admittedly hike a lot, but after a long hike, like 3-5 months, I HAVE NEVER EVER FELT LIKE I WAS LEFT WITH EMPTINESS!!! After a thru-hike I feel a deep and lasting sense of gratitude. I think of all that I have learned on my hikes that has helped me in my non-hiking life - the new friends, memorable and unique experiences, the greater appreciation for the environment/wilderness, etc that I will carry inside of me for the rest of my life and that I can share with others to possibly also enrich their lives. After a thru-hike, I do feel like I'm switching gears, taking on new perspectives, and defining my life differently than before each previous hike! BUT, just because we have a tendency to switch lanes after a hike DOES NOT mean we are still not behind the wheel! It just may mean we see ourselves in a different vehicle on possibly a different road! LIFE still has purpose, excitement, and meaning for me after finishing a hike!
Be careful of what you ask for here on WB because this is the kind of stuff you will get!
I am deeply passionate about my career as a Landscape Designer when I'm not hiking. I throw myself into that by incorporating what I've learned while hiking into my designs, work ethics, and attitude on the job!
Some people who think through hiking is a life might learn from those who have found one!:)
sheepdog
09-22-2010, 23:10
snap out of it
If you are bored, help some youth in your community get out and enjoy the outdoors. Get involved in Big Brothers, Scouting, etc Do things for others instead of thinking of your woes - it does help. And be glad you had the experience you did.
Hi Blissful,
It was great to meet you on the trail today. I was part of that motley looking bunch of section hikers (and post-thru hikers) near catfish fire tower. The words you posted above were reflected in the conversation among us. BTW - We had a scout leader in our "gang" along with some very active AMC group leaders. You are truly an awesome person and an inspiration. Hang in there we're with you in spirit!!
Best Regards,
Bob
ATsawyer
09-27-2010, 19:23
Two words: TRAIL CLUB. Locate the nearest AT Club near you. They will have projects on weekends, week-long crews, and available AT sections for you to "own". You can live the AT forever and make it a better trail in the process.
Blissful
09-27-2010, 21:12
I admittedly hike a lot, but after a long hike, like 3-5 months, I HAVE NEVER EVER FELT LIKE I WAS LEFT WITH EMPTINESS!!! After a thru-hike I feel a deep and lasting sense of gratitude. I think of all that I have learned on my hikes that has helped me in my non-hiking life - the new friends, memorable and unique experiences, the greater appreciation for the environment/wilderness, etc that I will carry inside of me for the rest of my life and that I can share with others to possibly also enrich their lives. After a thru-hike, I do feel like I'm switching gears, taking on new perspectives, and defining my life differently than before each previous hike! BUT, just because we have a tendency to switch lanes after a hike DOES NOT mean we are still not behind the wheel! It just may mean we see ourselves in a different vehicle on possibly a different road! LIFE still has purpose, excitement, and meaning for me after finishing a hike!
Excellent. Yes. Lot depends on your outlook, and being positive is a huge key.
Blissful
09-27-2010, 21:13
Hi Blissful,
It was great to meet you on the trail today. I was part of that motley looking bunch of section hikers (and post-thru hikers) near catfish fire tower. The words you posted above were reflected in the conversation among us. BTW - We had a scout leader in our "gang" along with some very active AMC group leaders. You are truly an awesome person and an inspiration. Hang in there we're with you in spirit!!
Best Regards,
Bob
It was great to meet you all too. :)
Talk about positive people with smiles and great attitudes was this group of people from all walks of life, many who had done thru hikes in different years, together enjoying a hike and life. Great to see.
Post-achievement depression is pretty common. It varies considerably from person to person and with the relative degree of achievement.
Best thing seems to start something new... The depression, once experienced, doesn't often return after the next achievement.
.
Hollywood,
I'm sure you don't remember me, but I was section hiking when we met briefly just outside the DWG on the NJ side. I remember your trail name because you had something (sunscreen?) on your face... hence, reminded me of the "hollywood makeup".
Your boredom and depression is just your mind getting ready for the next "adventure". Passion has a way of ebbing and flowing throughout our lives. You can't "force" your way out of this period, the passion and enjoyment of life will return sometimes is very unexpected ways. Try new things, meet people, go places where you normally wouldn't go, stay connected with those you know. It will get better.
Good luck & take care!
Brian (aka Skippy)
10-14-2010, 10:18
I just finished hiking the trail this year also. Lately I've been getting restless.
My plan lately has been selling everything I own. If I'm not selling something, I'm working on selling it. Getting smaller and smaller by the minute. Things feel like they did back when I was in Georgia. Impossible or overwhelming but you have to be patient and put one foot in front of the next. Keep putting in the hours and you'll get there.
That's what I keep telling myself...one step at a time...my plan is to rid myself of all these anchors and then hit the road. I feel excited every time I get closer to being free.
Get a job and pay off your bills...one dollar at a time.
I saw this quote at the tattoo shop in Baltimore on my way home...
Good things come to those who wait, everything else goes to those who hustle
mweinstone
10-14-2010, 10:22
boring and deppressed before my thruhike im not able to do.
greenmtnboy
10-14-2010, 11:40
As John Milton said in "Paradise Lost":
"The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a heav'n of hell, a hell of heav'n."
You can create a good life through doing good. If you are depressed, you will feel a lot better if you can help others less fortunate than yourself, join a hiking club, outdoors groups, a church where you can enjoy the give and take of such groups.
As you are going to school part-time, you could probably find part-time work at a temp agency. I have worked for property owners doing yard work, and for temp agencies and labor pools doing day work. It is a way to connect with others who are in need of what you have to offer.
As for the person who advised "getting laid" as some sort of solution to being bored and depressed, without a real commitment, this is just awful advice. If you have a commitment, fine, but I have seen over and over how promiscuity causes emotional hurt ultimately--you can't fool nature and she will exact her pound of flesh in the end. In conservative groups, dating happens through the father of the girl. The father checks out the guy in terms of his character, and how he would provide for his daughter or how the relationship will develop long-term. Fleeting pleasures come with a price tag. Think of your parents and siblings and how they learned from their life experiences. Responsibility has rewards, irresponsibility and shiftlessness has penalties. Society judges people according to their "status", this may be unfair, but people want to know what you do for a living in order to earn their respect.
I'm glad you are admitting that you feel unfulfilled in some way. It is a step toward progress and I wish you well as you make progress through submitting to others with greater life experience.
northernstorm
10-14-2010, 21:51
It is quite difficult adjusting back into society. I also know this feeling.
northernstorm
10-14-2010, 21:59
I admittedly hike a lot, but after a long hike, like 3-5 months, I HAVE NEVER EVER FELT LIKE I WAS LEFT WITH EMPTINESS!!! After a thru-hike I feel a deep and lasting sense of gratitude. I think of all that I have learned on my hikes that has helped me in my non-hiking life - the new friends, memorable and unique experiences, the greater appreciation for the environment/wilderness, etc that I will carry inside of me for the rest of my life and that I can share with others to possibly also enrich their lives. After a thru-hike, I do feel like I'm switching gears, taking on new perspectives, and defining my life differently than before each previous hike! BUT, just because we have a tendency to switch lanes after a hike DOES NOT mean we are still not behind the wheel! It just may mean we see ourselves in a different vehicle on possibly a different road! LIFE still has purpose, excitement, and meaning for me after finishing a hike!
Spot on. My thru is going to be something special that I can always revisit again in the future if I want. The trail will always be there.
Come and volunteer in Haiti. I finished my NOBO last year and have been living in Port-au-Prince since the quake helping out. The other volunteers here are very similar to through hikers. I run the show doen here. come check it out.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/GrassRoots-United/111440292223121
http://grassrootsunited.org/
-McBride
sarah1021
10-17-2010, 17:44
I'm going through pretty much the same thing. except that i had to leave the trail early to start grad school, so it feels unfinished! I had about 400miles left (VT/NH border) when I stopped 8/13 (start date 5/19), and I hiked most of the rest of the miles on 3-day weekends and one 8 day stretch; I only have 92 miles left to hike, but I had to quit because of ice and snow (really it was hiking alone in these conditions).
I know i get to 'look forward to those miles' for next year, but.... i have so much determination, so much willpower, it is SO HARD for me to say 1)school has to take priority and 2)it's no longer safe to be out there alone
I don't feel like i 'failed' though, because i walked as much as i was physically able just about every day, and I never skipped/missed anything I wanted to do to 'make miles'. That was a hard balance that I feel I mastered, and made the most out of my time on the trail (86 consecutive days, 107 days total).
BUT I am having the worst time focusing on schoolwork, this semester seems to be a 'squeak by' semester. My mind is still on the trail, my legs still itching to go. I don't think that would stop even if i had hiked the trail twice over though. I feel a part of it, a part of the trail and the earth, and while i'm in a house warm and fed I feel out of place, waiting to go back home. Good part is, home is out there, at least for now, whenever I have a moment to get out there. Hiking has become part of who i am.
I liked the idea of joining an outdoors club, I think that would be great and may do that myself. I probably have more to offer than I realize, and being around like-minded people would be a breath of fresh air. Just hearing that someone else is struggling just like i am is.
Good luck! I feel you.
Count your blessings! I've been working for the "Man" for forty years with only a week or two each year to section. I would have given my right arm to have done a thru at your age but a wife and two kids were my first priorities. Now at sixty years old I'm doubting my physical ability to hike it in a season. PS, congratulations on your completion!
Lillianp
10-17-2010, 21:05
Hollywood
We met somewhere in Maine as you passed Silver and I (I'm Crash Course) and I think I'm feeling something similar to you.
Funk about my life-I know where I"m going, I have the goal, but I feel like I"m stuck without being able to move forward. I don't want to HAVE to have a goal, to have to plan my life. It'd be nice just to hike and eat bad food, etc. again.
Good luck with the whole college thing. And best of luck on going on the PCT if you choose to do that. Who knows? Maybe I'll see ya out there!
~Crash Course
handlebar
10-17-2010, 21:25
Count your blessings! I've been working for the "Man" for forty years with only a week or two each year to section. I would have given my right arm to have done a thru at your age but a wife and two kids were my first priorities. Now at sixty years old I'm doubting my physical ability to hike it in a season. PS, congratulations on your completion!
FWIW, elray, I was 61, 63, and 65 respectively on my AT, PCT and 1/2 CDT thru hikes. On the AT, our hiking group was FDOM (Four Dirty Old Men) with members 69, 63, 61, and an honorary member 49. So, get rid of the doubt and keep on keepin' on.
Serial 07
10-17-2010, 21:36
i've been there...finished my thru in 07...went back on in 08...hated city life after that and moved down to Damascus...now life is good! do what's right for you...