Knowing when to say "When"

[StorminMormon]

I was going to write this a week ago, but I just couldn't finish it. I don't know, I guess I just didn't think anyone would care that much. However, another member posted her experience (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?t=66779) on the trail recently and I guess it helped me to see that there is some value in discussing trips that didn't go as planned.

So, I planned to hike from Davenport Gap to Hot Springs, NC (about 36 miles) for my birthday (mid November). I planned this trip for 2 solid months. It was my first cold weather hike so I did a lot of reading and asking to get advice on the right gear and how to handle the cold. The hilarious part is that it was a beautiful weekend with highs in the mid 70s.

The weekend before they got about 4 inches of snow. So, you can imagine my delight in that we would have some nice weather to hike in. Now it got cold at night, but it was only in the 30s so it wasn't too bad.

Originally I was going solo - but after a couple weeks of planning, my wife asked if she could go with me. I was hesitant at first because she's never hiked before (and this is not a beginners hike), but I said yes and so I began planning for two people. She works out all the time - so she's in shape. She depended on me for everything. I had to tell her what shoes to buy, what pants to buy, what kind of jacket to buy. We rented a backpack for her from LowerGear.com (awesome service by the way, highly recommend them). I planned our food, and everything. Everything was going great until a week before the hike. We found out she was pregnant. We talked about it a bit and decided that she was SO EARLY in her pregnancy that it shouldn't be a problem. I was basically planning on her carrying about 20 lbs (maybe a little less) so I told her it would be fine. We decided to continue with our plans.

As the week leading up to the hike ticked by she started to feel some of the early signs of pregnancy: nauseau and fatigue for the most part. She told me it wasn't bad enough to call of the hike, it would just be something she was going to have to deal with.

We get on the Trail at Davenport Gap early Friday morning and it's pretty chilly but we're properly dressed so after walking for about 10 minutes we warmed up nicely and we managed our layers throughout the day to keep us comfortable and dry. We cross over I-40 and start our relentless ascent to the top of Snowbird Mountain. It was a long day. She complained about her pack weight, so I would take a couple things from her pack and put it in mine.

Hour after hour, I would take one thing...and then another...and then another from her pack and add it to mine to help her be more comfortable. It was working...she was tired - I mean, it's a tough hike! - but she was managing and we got to the top and smiled and laughed and descended a couple miles to Groundhog Creek Shelter where we setup our tent. We cooked some dinner and got everything ready for the night and crawled in our tent at about 6:30. It was pitch black.

She slept ok, and so did I. I knew in my head that we needed to break camp early and get on the trail because we had 13.1 miles to go until Walnut Mountain Shelter and that included hiking over Max Patch. She was feeling exhausted and nauseated again in the morning, so I just had her sit there and eat some breakfast and rest while I broke camp, refilled/retreated water, and got both our bags packed. We didn't get on the trail until after 9:00 a.m! I was pretty mad at myself.

Sunset is at 5:30, so that gives us 8.5 hours to hike 13.1 miles. I knew that basically meant we were going to be hiking in the dark towards the end of the day, but we had headlamps so I figured it would just be a lesson learned.

My wife had complained about her heels on the first day so I applied moleskin which seemed to help, but she said they were still sensitive. Now today, she's really complaining about them and she's even breaking down and crying a couple times because they hurt so bad. I know a lot of that is because of hormones and pregnancy, but I was starting to get concerned. I looked at my Garmin GPS and it was now about 11:00 and we hadn't even gone 2 miles yet. It would be foolish for me to think that we were going to get to Walnut Mtn Shelter before 10 p.m. at this pace. There's Roaring Fork Shelter, but that would mean us doing about 17 miles on Sunday to make up the difference. We were about a mile from Brown Gap Road.

I looked at my crying wife, and I just said "I'm calling it". I told her that we were going to call for a ride to come get us at Brown Gap and that we were ending the hike. She insisted that we should press on - but I told her no. I had rented a S.P.O.T. GPS to keep family and friends in touch back home. You see, we have 3 boys (2, 4, 8 yrs old) that were staying with the grandparents so I knew we had to keep in touch with family. I pushed the button on the S.P.O.T. that sent the custom message which I had pre-programmed to read "We're sick/injured/or extreme weather and we're getting off the trail ASAP. We'll call you when we have cell signal".

Luckily, I could get a decent signal just 100 yards up the trail from Brown Gap Road. I called Bluff Mountain Outfitters in Hot Springs. They had shuttled us to Davenport Gap the day before so I figured this would be the easiest solution. I told them we were at Brown Gap Road and they said they knew right where we were so they'd come get us; it would take about an hour. We took off our packs and got out some food and water. I had packed a little hand-crank weather radio and was able to tune in a Classic Rock station. We sat on the steps of the trail at the intersection of Brown Gap Road and waited for our ride. We wrote in our little journals, listened to music, and felt the cool breeze and warm sunshine. She cheered up and that made me feel better.

I know very well that we could have pushed on, but for me it just wasn't worth it. We had a great experience thus far, and I didn't want to ruin that with the struggles that lay ahead. I know in some people's eyes this was a failed trip, but I just don't see it that way. I'm sure almost every hiker has had to abort a hike or take a zero-day or two in order to rest and I don't feel that those are failures. My wife and I had a great bonding experience and after the baby is born she wants to come back and finish the hike on my birthday next year!

I guess I'm sharing this because I want other people to know that it's ok (and in many instances, wise) to realize limitations and to "live to hike another day". You don't have to wait until your bleeding, in the dark, and freezing before you start to think "maybe I should give it a rest and try again another time". We ended up checking into a hotel in Asheville, we ate at Carraba's and went to see a movie. We had a great weekend, and I'll always remember it. And next year when we go back - we'll hike (and enjoy) Max Patch and walk into Hot Springs with our heads held high.

[Lilred]

You did exactly the right thing. Your wife will remember how you put her and her comfort first, and that goes a long way. You sound like a caring and thoughtful husband and she's very lucky. Congrats on the new little hiker on the way...

[StorminMormon]

Yeah, honestly - all I could think about was if we pushed on and she got worse and then facing the music of my in-laws for putting my poor, pregnant wife through so much trouble. Ha ha. She was really upset with me at first, but as I recounted all the wonderful things we had seen and experienced she realized that even though we were cutting the trip very short - we already had a pretty neat adventure.

I left out some of the other tidbits. We stayed in a horrible hotel in Newport, TN the night before. That way we only had to drive 30 minutes instead of 4 hours from SC the first day. I woke up Friday morning and the bottoms of my feet were black because the carpet was so filthy. It grossed out my wife pretty bad; but we look back and laugh at it now. And we stopped at Waffle House at 5 a.m. before the hike and ate grits and drank hot chocolate and it was probably the BEST meal we had all weekend. The grits were awesome! Ha ha ha.

[Lyle]

Staying flexible in your plans is what keeps hiking a pleasure instead of an endurance test.

There are times to push on through the pain and discomfort; there are times, in special circumstances, to change plans and enjoy yourselves. Sounds like you just encountered the latter.

Congrats on the new addition.

[bigcranky]

We did pretty much the same thing on our hike this summer. My wife and I planned a 10 day hike in Central Virginia. She got extremely ill the first day -- enough so that she couldn't eat anything (well, she couldn't keep it down.) Without food, you can't hike, so we bailed. I think the 90+ temps even at the 4000 foot level had a lot to do with it.

Once again, I re-learned a primary lesson for section hikers: don't get a long shuttle at the beginning of the hike. Park the car, get a short ride if necessary, and start hiking. That way, if you need to bail, you are close to your car. This is the second time we paid a lot of $$$ for a long shuttle, and ended up having to get a long ride back to our car. (The first time was in 2003, with a 12 year old who insisted on wearing ill-fitting all leather Italian mountaineering boots. You shoulda seen her blisters. Wow. She made it a week, which is pretty amazing.)

Live to hike another day, that's my motto.

[flemdawg1]

Congrats on the pregnancy. Was you hotel in Newport next to the Waffle House? I've stayed in that one and it was OK. I agree you can't always judged a hike in hard "success/Fail" modes of distance made & goals achieved. Many times the reality of terrain and the situation dictate adjusting the goals you've set. A scaled-back adventure that is still fun is always preferrable to blind adherance to a mileage goal. Its supposed to be fun.

[StorminMormon]

No, the one "right by" the Waffle House was like...the "Mountain Inn" or something. This was a Day's Inn and it's a hole. We should have just walked next door to the Holiday Inn Express. It would have cost us more, but it would have been more enjoyable. Again, I'm not opposed to roughing it or doing things on the cheap, but I have to take care of my Princess. :)

Thanks to everyone for the congrats and well-wishing. We're excited. This is #4 and we're going to make it our last. Moving on to a new chapter in our lives. We have a fantastic family and life is good!

[Cookerhiker]

Yes, you did the right thing and I applaud you for your clear-thinking and good judgement.


...... We stayed in a horrible hotel in Newport, TN the night before. That way we only had to drive 30 minutes instead of 4 hours from SC the first day. I woke up Friday morning and the bottoms of my feet were black because the carpet was so filthy. It grossed out my wife pretty bad; but we look back and laugh at it now. ....

What's amusing about this is that if you lodged in said motel after 4-5 nights on the Trail of which let's say 1-2 were pouring rain and/or sleet, that "horrible hotel" would seem like the Hilton!

[sbhikes]

We were planning a backpack this weekend. But last weekend my boyfriend collapsed on a day hike and had to be taken to the hospital. (Turned out it was a lung problem, not a heart problem.) It was storming last weekend and the weather on Mt. San Jacinto where we planned to go has been highs in the 30s with gusts up to 50+ miles per hour. The last thing I want is to be out there in the cold (cold triggers his lung problem) on the most dangerous mountain range in California, have a big gust of wind destroy our shelter and freeze to death. So we called it off before even setting out.

[Mags]

My girlfriend and I have had to modify trips this past year. I am in much better shape for outdoor activities and she has had nasty issues with allergies all summer.

So, at least on two occasions we've had to scale back and or/change plans. I've done more truck camping followed with day hikes than I've done before. :)

I guess it comes down to if I want to share the outdoors with someone and make it fun for both of us...or always do the solo thing.

It's all good...


Congrats on the upcoming birth!

[Kerosene]

After 5 years of trying, I finally convinced my now-20yo daughter to join me on the AT after her sophomore year of college.

She had been sick much of the semester, but by May she was feeling good again, but she never did start that exercise regimen.

I spent months planning the hike, recognizing that I would have to keep her pack weight to 15% of her body weight (16 pounds, while I carried about 31). I was committed to slowing down to hike at her pace, and I cut my daily mileage to half of what I would normally attempt (8-10). I even delayed the hike by two weeks to avoid a series of bad storms!

We had a great time on the drive down to Franklin from Ann Arbor, and the next morning we caught a shuttle to the base of Standing Indian (Deep Gap). She surprised me with her enthusiasm and comfort with just walking in the woods. We got to the summit of Standing Indian just as the view clouded over, so we pushed on after lunch to try to get to Carver Gap Shelter before the any rain fell (we were successful).

On the last climb of the day, she started "powering" up the hill of her own volition and felt something pop behind her left knee. She tried to shrug it off, but when I expressed concern her hypochondriac tendencies kicked in. I carried her pack the last mile or so (a 16-pound pack is extremely light!).

She had a great time exploring her surroundings that evening, and she enjoyed visiting with Jesse and his son, also from WhiteBlaze. The rain fell that night and the next morning, but as we only had 8 miles to walk we waited it out.

All this time I'm wondering if we should bail or not, but she insisted we go on. She did fine the second day, but it was really starting to bother her on the third day, so we took our time and bailed at Winding Stair Gap, about half of our planned mileage.

All in all, it was still a great hike. She took 250 pictures to my 50 (most of them of her!), so I got very good at patiently waiting down the trail for her. Her knee healed quickly (ahh, to be young again), and she's joined the outdoor adventure club at college. Hopefully we'll get out again before she starts a family.

I took my to-be-wife from Duncannon to Harpers Ferry for her first hike in June 1979, but I ended up pushing her too hard several days and she developed a sharp pain above her knee on the downhills and has never again hiked with me. Those first few hikes set the tone, and can either encourage or discourage a new hiker.

It's a lot easier to figure out when to bail if you're hiking by yourself, at least if you know your limits.

[StorminMormon]

Those first few hikes set the tone, and can either encourage or discourage a new hiker.


Agreed. And that was one of my primary concerns. She definitely wants to get back on the trail after the baby is born, and of course, after those first few months, but she's excited.

Many years ago I went snow skiing for the first time in SLC, Utah. I was on a pair of skis I borrowed from a friend and the bindings were set really tight. Long story short - on my first run, I fell but the bindings didn't release so my right knee got wrenched pretty hard. It was painful. I almost got carried down the hill by the Ski Patrol but was able to make it by myself.

Anyway...to this day I still get a nervous stomach when I go skiing. I love to ski, but my body remembers what happened the first time and it never lets me forget. I'm fine after the first couple runs down the hill - but those first 30 to 40 minutes my stomach is doing somersaults!

[jesse]

I've had to change plans, cut a hike short due to sore feet, etc. No big deal, its not work. You don't lose your bonus pay or anything like that. Its really nuts to push on when your hurt, or not really enjoying yourself. Good luck on your next outing.

Kerosene, I remember, eating breakfast with you guys, at the shelter. Hope your daughter, heals up and ya'll get to do some more hiking. That trip we made it to the NOC. I think I might try to go from NOC through the Smokies, in April.

[Joshuatree]

With beginner hikers it always best to plan a bail out point, I've had to do that with my sister before on the Superior Hiking trail. We planned a recon hike to the area since I had never been up there before. We had to cut a day and half off of our hike for blisters, she didn't let me know till it was too late. So we hit the nearest parking lot and caught the shuttle to the car and spent the rest of the day sightseeing. She still enjoys hiking and is trying to talk some of here friends to give it a try.

[Slo-go'en]

This last spring I had planned to be out for at least 4 weeks, but bailed after 4 days on the trail. Long story short - turns out I had an infected liver abcess which just happened to hit critical mass as I left for the trip and the pack strap was putting preasure on it. Seems it could have killed me had I stayed out on the trail any longer. That really shook me up when I found that out!

[Bear Cables]

My hiking buddy and I made the decision a couple of years of go to cut our hike short. The original plan was NOC to Clingman.We went the last week of may/first of June and there was an unusual heat wave with temps in the 90's and high humidity (like hiking in Louisiana in August) We stopped at Sasafrass Shelter to water up and the black gnats were so bad they chewed holes in my toes and ankles ( I had taken my boots off and put my sandals on during the break. Well, I am allergic to gnat bites and my feet got so inflamed and itched horribly. I was determined to tough it out and hiked on for the next day. I didn't want to be the one to call it. During a break that day my friend said, "When we get to Fontana we need to rethink this hike." She was experience some stomach cramping and knew I was struggling with my feet. I said " Oh yeah! We do need to rethink". I didn't want to enter the Smokies with less opportunities to bail with feet that could become infected. So we decided to spend to stop at Fontana. We spent our last night at the Fontana Hilton then called Nancy at the Hike Inn to come get us. She assured us that we made the right decision. I know we did. It saved the hike and we still enjoyed what we did. We tackled the rest of it plus more the next time.

[bpitt]

You made the right call.

[Dogwood]

Yes, it sounds like you made the right call getting off the trail and considering the time with your wife well spent. In that incidence you exhibited clear thinking and sound judgement.

Now...Stop...Rewind...I know I'm making a judgement call based only on the limited but telling info you provided which is easy to do sitting behind a laptap after the fact, but it sounds like you could have possibly made a wiser decision by doing a different hike with your wife at a different time under different circumstances!

You said it was your first cold weather hike. You said it snowed 4 inches the weekend before you left for your hike. That means you are totally inexperienced hiking in those conditions. You are the trip leader/organizer for that hike. You chose to bring your inexperienced, raw beginner wife, when you yourself are inexperienced
hiking and camping under those conditions. Yes, the weather turned out nice, but you didn't know that was going to be the case when you agreed to hike with her at least a month before. You said she depended on you for everything. Perhaps, that was not a wise decision to agree to hike with your wife at that time considering your lack of cold weather hiking experience when she is depending on you for everything. Considering just those factors, you might have said to your wife, "honey, this probably isn't the right time to hike together because of the cold conditions and your recent medical complications, I'm inexperienced in camping and hiking in those conditions, and you are a beginner relying on me. I just don't feel comfortable enough at this time to bring you along on this hike. I want to be with you, but can we possibly think of something else to do together instead of doing this hike at this time?"

You said yourself, "this is not a beginner's hike." Then, why take along a beginner, even if she is your wife? Another questionable decision to take along a beginner.

Next, it sounds like your wife was largely, quite possibly totally, unfamiliar and/or comfortable with her gear when she started the hike. Another bad decision, IMO.

You found out she was pregnant and early in her pregnancy. Fine, woman do hike when their pregnant. BUT, then she starts having nausea and fatigue, I assume due to her pregnacy, the week before the start of the hike. Yet, the two of you largely ignore those complications and still decide to move forward to your hiking start date. Humm? Virtually every beginner hiker undergoes emotional and physical changes when they first start to hike. Those changes are handled better by some people than others. To what degree more would those changes have to be handled by a raw beginning hiker dealing with the additional hormonal, physical, and emotional changes because she was also pregnant?

You said your wife is in shape. While being in physically fit shape or being physically conditioned in another activity/sport will probably help a newbie hiker as compared to a newbie not physically fit IT IS NOT entirely the same as being physically fit for hiking or in shape to hike! This is a mistake that I've seen made before by others.

I could go on, but I think it's fair to say it sounds like you learned some lessons on your hike, namely when it is time to quit and, hopefully, when the time/ocassion/hike/condition is right to bring along a beginning hiker.

When you hike with others, whether it be with just one other person or a large group, especially when others are relying on you as the trip leader or organizer, I think it's imperative to understand and carefully consider everyone in the group, including yourself, and design/plan the hike accordingly.

[Trailweaver]

Thanks to those who have posted their "bail-outs." I had to do it this past spring, and felt awful about it for months. I finally did come to terms with it, and know I made the right decision, but it was difficult to do at the time.

I had planned to hike from Dick's Creek to Deep Gap - and had anticipated the NC line for a very long time, looking forward to my first "state line" change. I made it to the Plumorchard shelter feeling awful - nausea, extreme fatigue, and muscle weakness. I wondered if I could make it back to Dick's Creek, and thought I certainly couldn't make it to Deep Gap - what in the world was I thinking???

I decided to hike in to Bly Gap the next day, and if I felt better I'd continue on, and if I didn't improve, I would have to do something. I wasn't sure what to do, but I just didn't think I could hike feeling as nauseated as I was. Well, the next day I was still sick, but made it to Bly Gap. I spent the night, and decided to hike back to Blue Ridge and get a ride out. I had at least made it to my "state line" - which was the goal - and I decided to make it a compromise. I made the goal I'd set for myself, but I also decided to "take care of business" - take care of myself.

Turned out, I did have medical complications I was unaware of until I had some blood work done, and I had to spend the summer recuperating. After several months of medication and a lot of rest, I did go back, hiking in at Blue Ridge and hiking to Deep Gap. Not very far, I know, and again it was a compromise, but I did what I could with the medical restrictions I had, and it worked out.

[Daydream Believer]

My first section hike on the AT with my husband ended up as a bail out. We left Springer and made it to Hawk Mtn Shelter OK the first day but very tired. The next day we limped into Gooch Gap...no where near as far as we wanted to be. Our original plan was to make it to Neel's Gap in 3 days. That left us with over 14 miles (if memory serves) and we were beginning to realize that we were not up to that but figured we'd do it over a day and half and just leave straight from the parking lot to home instead of overnighting at the cabin as we'd planned before heading home.

Over night it started to rain...rained very hard. This was October 09 when Georgia was getting all that heavy rain. We laid around for a while waiting for it to slow down or end but no such luck. I had the dubious pleasure of making my toilet in a downpour...yikes...first time for everything. It does make you appreciate the privies at the shelters at a time like that..those with roofs anyway.

We tried to break camp and found out that free standing 2 piece tents are IMPOSSIBLE to take down without getting the inside soaked...so our tent got soaked and we were soaked through in no time. All we had were rain coats..no rain pants. (dumb) We just looked at each other and decided to call our shuttle. By the time I made it back to our cabin at Neel's Gap, I was shivering and almost hypothermic.

Since then we finished that section and I've done two longer solo hikes. Funny enough (and I love my husband of 25 years dearly) but I find that I hike better alone. I push myself harder and make more distance. He's not as fit as I am as he works in an office and I work on a farm..so inherently I get a lot more exercise.

[Pedaling Fool]

My wife and I had a great bonding experience and after the baby is born she wants to come back and finish the hike on my birthday next year!
Well, I guess she gets a pass due to pregnancy.

But what about next year? I personally really like the Baptism by Fire method. Everyone is always saying that you're hike should be enjoyable and if it's not it's time to stop. I don't agree.

Hiking is tough and it calls for a body to be changed and change is usually not easy. I think most of us that push through really tough times (and a lot of times we need to be pressured to do so) we feel really relieved when it's over. But contrary to what you would expect, it kind of leaves a yearning to do it again, of course after you heal. And actually memories of tough times create fond memories, some of my best memories are from the most miserable times on the trail.

Part of what makes hiking so great is that it is such a miserable thing to do. All this crap talk about being out in nature is complete BS. Yes, being in nature feels good in the beginning, but eventually all the views start looking the same and the monotony of day after day of walking gets boring. And all the sores further make you feel like sht. But if you walk thru all that you'll be rewarded.

I just think you need to be brutally honest and prepare her for the worst; tell her it won't be so easy this time, but explain the rewards.

[Egads]

I thought this thread was about Thanksgiving dinner :confused:

[CinciJP]

Once again, I re-learned a primary lesson for section hikers: don't get a long shuttle at the beginning of the hike. Park the car, get a short ride if necessary, and start hiking. That way, if you need to bail, you are close to your car.

That's good advice, I hadn't thought of that.

Thanks!