How to keep the "your" in HYOH

[Maple_Sky]

I am sitting around dreaming of my 2-month section hike this summer... I'm ready to get moving, but until then, all I can do is hike on the weekends and read my way through the scads of AT memoirs, trailjournals, and non-fiction selections out there. As I've read, I've come across the following viewpoints or perceptions more than once, and was curious about what women (and men) on whiteblaze would say.

1. If a female hooks up with someone on the trail he has "dibs" on you, or is considered responsible for you for the rest of the trail.

2. Females hiking with significant others are seen as "sidekicks" or not as much of a respected hiker as a female hiking solo.

I apologize if this is insulting, but I have to admit, that seemingly inevitable moment in a trailjournal where my heroine falls in love with Bigfooted Dancing Mountain Bear Man and they decide to shack up and start an organic algae farm in Damascus always makes me groan in disappointment.

Has anyone else wondered about this, or should I quit my armchair philosophizing and just hike? :)

[max patch]

No and No.

[LIhikers]

........ Females hiking with significant others are seen as "sidekicks" or not as much of a respected hiker as a female hiking solo.

That's not the case with my wife.
While we usually hike/backpack together if I can't go and she wants to she goes without me. And, whether solo or together, she's a stronger hiker than I am. It's just the way it is.

[Cookerhiker]

No comment on #1. Re. #2, I've seen many couples where the woman is the stronger hiker and/or the dominant personality. And it seems fine by the men.

[Spokes]

Nope. Hiking the trail is just like traveling with the circus.

[mweinstone]

actualy, to use jacks faveorite first word in a sentance. evrythings better hiking long distance. especialy the respect with witch folks treat each other. its sort of like super sized life. change your question to, is everything about thruhiking great?,...and the answer would be , yes. it is.no ones anyons bitch.

[mad4scrapping]

I've never heard of such nonsense. And I hope I never do.
On the other hand, if I meet a young stud on the trail, can I become a cougar and put my dibs on him? Seems to me what's good for the goose should be good for the gander. :cool:

[sbhikes]

I think it depends on a person's personality whether they will come across as the "sidekick." I met couples where woman as "sidekick" certainly seemed true. But sometimes I met couples on the trail where the woman was the stronger personality and the husband seemed more like the "sidekick." So it may be a true statement but for couples, but not for gender.

And about people hooking up? I don't even like to think about that. I mean, I smelled so awful most of the time and the food I ate gave me the worst gas, I just wouldn't want anyone to come anywhere near me most of the time. I don't get how others could be so tolerant of each other smelling so badly.

[Lemni Skate]

I've never thought of anyone as a sidekick. I just assume people have different personalities and assume different roles, but I don't think I've ever met anyone (aside from a child) that I thought was just out there doing what someone else wanted.

"Hooking up?" I never think about it much since I'm married, but again, I'd think this is as full of pitfalls as hooking up in the real world. Some people, regardless of their gender, put much more significance on this than others. Hooking up with multiple partners in such a small community is bound to cause some jealousy issues along the way.

I do think you're worrying too much. Hike and let whatever happens happen. You're probably being appreciated by others much more than you're being evaluated.

[pfann]

Hooking up with multiple partners in such a small community is bound to cause some jealousy issues along the way.



This is bound to cause some anti-biotic issues too.:D

I'm married and will be doing a 107 mile section in late March. If my wife thought I had "dibs" on any female hiker I may meet, I would probably have to come home with an attorney. I have never met anyone on trail or in any outdoors setting with this mind-set,

-pfann

[Blissful]

if I were you, I'd go hike. :)

[Ravennessa]

LOL that was funny to read...

I am a 31 y/o woman, I have a very dominant personality, I have wrestled fighting pitbulls apart with my bare hands, I competed in rifle shooting, I hike alone, have hitchhiked through my country consistently for ten years before i moved here.. (No I am not doing it in the states Im not THAT suicidal ;) )

I will be the dominant part WHEN hiking between me and my polar bear.. (bf who's 6 2 and 280 something?) but other than that he's always the dominant one.. So I think it is more down to who's main interest it is and who's the one who's supporting it depending on who's the dominant part in what role. Im used to when I walked the three dogs I had when I rescued which was a 130 lbs rottweiler, 80 lbs rottie mix, 40 lbs pitbull that people would turn to my ex husband and ask about "his" dogs.. I wouldn't be totally surprised if some see it that way on the trail too, but in this case they would be very much surprised..

oh and if you want random hook ups, try the greyhound bus, that's a riot!
The stuff I saw and the stuff that happened, I got groped by a drunk little ol lady.. That was scary...

[Maple_Sky]

Thanks, everyone, for the replies (and to those who picked up on the intended humor). I'm glad to hear from so many of you that how a hiker is treated is based on individual strengths and not on gender.

I do want to clarify that I posted this not out of personal interest but because the books said it, and I wanted a second opinion.

I'm not worried, and I'm definitely not interested in hooking up on the trail. I think that starting a good discussion sometimes requires playing the devil's advocate, and that's what I was doing here.

[CherrypieScout]

I usually solo hike. Though on the AT I am never alone. I do keep my radar up to be safe.

[Dogwood]

NO and NO.

Hook up, hike men into oblivion, whatever, etc. Stop the armchair philosophy and make your hike your hike despite what anyone else believes!

[carpediemkath]

I hiked from Springer to the NOC alone this spring and I had a hard time with a few men who sort of latched onto me and assumed that we'd be together for the rest of my hike. How to shake them? Just hike your hike and be judicious about who you allow to hike with you. Take your time getting to know people first. My best "excuse" to lose a guy was to tell him I had to pee. If he didn't take the hint, I'd stand there bouncing up and down with my knees pressed together. One guy even suggested that I hitch hike while he hid in the woods, and he'd jump out at the last minute and take the ride too. Don't think so!

[Sailor (The other one)]

So I think it is more down to who's main interest it is and who's the one who's supporting it depending on who's the dominant part in what role.

That's the way it is with my wife, Mudpie, and I. When it's about food, she's dominant, when it's about gear, I am. Clothes, it's her; gear, me. Plants, her; gear, me. Section to hike, her; gear, me. Clothes, her; gear, me......

[weary]

if I were you, I'd go hike. :)
Good advice. Life goes on, even on the trail. Relationships begin and sometimes end -- for all the usual reasons -- and maybe some unique trail reasons. Observors react to those relationship, in most of the ways that observors react to most relationships, and maybe a few more.

A long distance hike is a unique experience for most of us. Even couples. Or couples that began life on the trail. Or even begin and end life together on the trail, And all degrees of possible involvement therein.

[Margaret L]

Interesting thread. I've never considered that other people on the trail might interfere with my hike, but I do worry a bit about people off the trail. Will my husband insist on daily phone calls? Will friends want to meet me to hike for a day (and slow me down)? Etc.