View Full Version : dear kellogs
mweinstone
02-11-2011, 02:05
your unfrosted poptarts are gooder than the frosted ones. my hiking friends and i want to suggest a line of APPALACHIAN TRAIL inspired poptarts. as the leader in pop tarting, we thaught you should know. we also hope you put storys on the box about real hikers. like you could have a chocolate esspresso bean poptart and call it a name like, the long haul. or you could have a minty white pepermint poptart and call it,..snowy day,..and have a story of winter hiking. each of my friends will now suggest a new pop tart flavor and name for the new line . my suggestion is
the bacon pop tart called the zero. a zero is a fat lazy day of pigging out and no hiking
next...........
mweinstone
02-11-2011, 02:13
if this thing happens, it means free poptarts at traildays and other events. en mass baby, en mass.
be funny to have a pop tart called,..a hot day. it would be a diet gingerale poptart.
and a serial poptart for serial made of cerial.
It only makes sense that we should have an oatmeal poptart and a peanut butter poptart.
For your friend Luke, only, I suggest CuddleFish PopTarts. Call 'em HeartBurn.
how about the 'PA poptart'? Covered with crunchy stuff like peanuts.
or a pack of poptarts known as the 'hiker box'... you don't know what flavors are in it. Some of them might not even be food. It would be like cracker jacks with a prize inside!
Gray Blazer
02-11-2011, 08:05
Have one loaded with beans called the Pop Fart.
A snickers pop tart might actually be pretty good.
LoneRidgeRunner
02-11-2011, 08:48
this crap isn't worth replying to but here I go anyways..A guy asks a serious question on here in a previous thread and you guys make a big, absurd joke out of it...this is just ridiculous....:rolleyes: I've said my peace...
Surplusman
02-11-2011, 08:54
Spam Pop Tarts? Mac n' Cheese Pop Tarts? Bacon Pop Tarts?
That suggestion for a Snickers Pop Tart sounds yummy.
mweinstone
02-11-2011, 09:07
the pawpaw pop tart will have a flag of red white and blue iceing on it. it will tell the history of the trail and vets.
the miss janets house pop tart will be gingerbread and will exsplain what a hostel is
the hardcore poptart wil be bittersweet and have quince outside and a chocolate bar inside. it will tell the story of volenteering
the southbounder will be unfrosted and made enterly of georgia grown peaches.
the northbounder will be of lobster with a butter crust
restless
02-11-2011, 09:25
How about a Pop Tart with a coffee flavored filling and either chocolate or caramel flavored icing?
Hmmmm... The Voyager poptart should be custard and fishstick flavored. And maybe an ice cream sundae flavor with stories from the Iron Master's Hostel?
this crap isn't worth replying to but here I go anyways..A guy asks a serious question on here in a previous thread and you guys make a big, absurd joke out of it...this is just ridiculous....:rolleyes: I've said my peace...
Absurdity is underrated... or is it that the ridiculousness is overrated? I don't know, just that a little irreverence ain't such a bad thing once in a while.
Careful or somebody will start asking how to dehydrate the darn things in their new Excalibur 3000.....
Actually, coffee-flavored Pop Tarts sound wonderful.
Buffalo Skipper
02-11-2011, 10:28
Careful or somebody will start asking how to dehydrate the darn things in their new Excalibur 3000.....
Dehydrated poptart. Hummm. :-?
This would shave at least 2-3 oz off the weight of each, right?
Interesting......
Old Hiker
02-11-2011, 10:34
Dehydrated poptart. Hummm. :-?
This would shave at least 2-3 oz off the weight of each, right?
Interesting......
But how to rehydrate them without the poptart becoming a mushy, nasty mess????
Still - coffee poptarts - with as much 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine as 2 cups of coffee would be great!
CrumbSnatcher
02-11-2011, 10:42
the only time i ate poptarts while hiking was i believe in 1999'
poptarts had the round soft flaky poptart that was more like a danish. it crushed real easy so i keep them inside my cook pot. they were so good but they discontinued them
CrumbSnatcher
02-11-2011, 12:33
pastry swirls i think they were called
i only bought the cream cheese ones
damn they were good! now i skip breakfest til i'm a few miles out of camp
your unfrosted poptarts are gooder than the frosted ones...
I must vehemently disagree with you, although I'm not sure what that means exactly...
Frosted are the BEST!!!! Blueberry and Cherry are my favs. However, I would like to see the following added to the repetoire... Mango, Banana, Cranberry, and Key Lime, all frosted of course. Oh, and last but not least, Reese's - peanut butter inside with chocolate frosting! :banana
Gray Blazer
02-11-2011, 12:47
this crap isn't worth replying to but here I go anyways..A guy asks a serious question on here in a previous thread and you guys make a big, absurd joke out of it...this is just ridiculous....:rolleyes: I've said my peace...
Be careful. Matthewski is the voice of reason on WB these days. You could get banned from a Mwienstone Thread. It's happened before.
So was your suggestion a crap tart? How 'bout Serious as a Tart Attack?
WI shepherd
02-11-2011, 19:00
the cheese head pop tart mix: Swiss, aged cheddar, mozzarella, Colby, and of course-bacon with a bit of cheese to hold it together... eat cold or slightly warm... This of course would have to be packaged in a Packer green and gold box :banana:banana
mweinstone
02-11-2011, 19:26
an entierly poptart based hiking comunity would need burger and fries poptarts and steak and eggs poptarts. prolly need a frikkazini in there for variety.
mmmmm,..the dreded dinty moore beef stew poptart.mmm....
Gray Blazer
02-11-2011, 20:33
an entierly poptart based hiking comunity would need burger and fries poptarts and steak and eggs poptarts. prolly need a frikkazini in there for variety.
mmmmm,..the dreded dinty moore beef stew poptart.mmm....
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
This is brilliant!
How about a fig-newton filling? Or even better, fig newton and bacon filling! Or a cream cheese filling. Or peanut butter filling. Those poptart people have totally missed the mark with their obnoxious candy flavors when they could be making such delicious hiker flavors.
I agree the unfrosted are better, but even better are the seldom-found Nabisco poptarts.
Big Dawg
02-11-2011, 21:29
Pizza Pie,,, pizza flavored poptart!!
Girl Scouts Thin Mint Cookie - just make them poptart size and enjoy.
Wise Old Owl
02-11-2011, 22:55
Pop Tarts- is that like Spice Girls? Matty when did you discover you lost it?
http://images.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/Spice-Girls-spice-girls-328182_475_578.jpg
mweinstone
02-12-2011, 06:09
the chickin pot pie poptart will rule over the beef pot pie poptart by almost 3 to 1.
the taco poptart will be laughed off the market and shamed well into the future.
the spaggetti and micro meatball poptart will sell at first then dissapear without a trace.
the sweet bean poptart made with adzuki and mung bean will be a hit. its coconut iceing will become legondary.
a completly unflavored tofu poptart with an edible glow in the dark iceing will become the base for most hiker foods replaceing cheese after the cow wars. added to ramman or macaronie, it becomes the protien hikers rely on and is dubbed, the nightwalker.
jerseydave
02-12-2011, 07:34
Frosted or unfrosted......?
Peanut butter filling, drizzled with caramel, but I'd definately need a toaster..... and a generator I suppose.
Who's got the gasoline?
Mrs Baggins
02-12-2011, 10:35
Filling: cooked ramen, diced summer sausage, cheez whiz, diced Snickers, peanut butter.
Frosting: beer glaze
Voila - Hiker Trash Tart
Pizza Pie,,, pizza flavored poptart!!
They have them ... "Hot Pockets" although they are frozen but if they make the pastry out of twinkies and trow in some more nitrates and vacume seal I think we can take care of that problem.:D
I do like the idea of wrapping the Fig Newtons any flavor with bacon.
Lets see, :-? dehydrate your Pop Tarts, pulverize in the blender, add some powdered milk, throw in a bag, then in camp put in a cup add water stir and have a Pop Tart smoothie, we could always throw in some bacon crumbles to make it a balanced meal. Yes!! NIRVANA !! :banana
randyg45
02-12-2011, 12:06
Beef jerky flavor, called the TuffTart, comes with stories of hiking with your ex-wife.
Hot dog, of course called the PupTart, comes with stories of hiking to the ballgame.
They should do an entire line based on French cuisine, called TartTarts, that come with stories of hookers on the Champs Elysee....
Sassafras Lass
02-12-2011, 14:56
I will fund the exploration into developing a Pop-Tart that tastes precisely like my favorite 5 Guys Burgers and Fries concoction - A1, mayonnaise, and pickle on a double patty, double cheese.
Wow I'm hungry . . . .
Wise Old Owl
02-14-2011, 11:07
Now we are talkin! 5 guys...
Oh and for those that don't understand the above picture::::
tart 2 (tärt)noun.1. a. A pastry shell with shallow sides, no top crust, and any of various fillings.
b. Chiefly British A pie.
2. a. A prostitute.
b. A woman considered to be sexually promiscuous.
tr.v. tart·ed, tart·ing, tarts Chiefly British To dress up or make fancy in a tawdry, garish way. Often used with up.
enurdat1
02-16-2011, 06:18
Gotta say the raspberry ones rock! As for new ones, I think
Aged cheddar filling and topped with a scotch frosting.
Nutella filled with a pretzel crust and peanut butter topping.
mweinstone
02-16-2011, 06:28
spinach pie with feta greek tart
off-pher
02-16-2011, 10:54
sausage and cheese with Bacon and mustard topping
stonedflea
02-17-2011, 16:06
http://www.culinaryconcoctionsbypeabody.com/2006/10/27/pop-goes-the-worldshf24/
modify to taste :)
EastCoastFeastCoast
02-17-2011, 18:29
Salsa pop tart! with tortilla instead of regular pastry!! Oh and a bacon&eggs one too!
Sierra Echo
02-17-2011, 18:34
No bacon ones cause its mean to piggies!
Big Dawg
02-17-2011, 19:55
No bacon ones cause its mean to piggies!
piggies are sooooo delicious!!!
Sierra Echo
02-17-2011, 19:57
piggies are sooooo delicious!!!
Thats not nice!
C Seeker
02-17-2011, 22:21
I think I may have to start playing with these recipies for my thru hike coming up so I can have Peanut butter and coffee poptarts. I am just not sure if they will go bad on me :/
mweinstone
02-17-2011, 22:47
I think I may have to start playing with these recipies for my thru hike coming up so I can have Peanut butter and coffee poptarts. I am just not sure if they will go bad on me :/
take a bluberry poptart and spread peanut butter on it and crumble it into a pint of coffie ice cream and put butterscotch on it and a single chocolate covered expresso bean. do this in any town while thruhiking. do it in all towns while thruhiking.
Big Dawg
02-19-2011, 17:49
Thats not nice!
well,, they are:D
WingedMonkey
02-19-2011, 20:05
Dear Kellogg's. Why does my box of 8 pastries only weigh 14.7 oz now???? :confused:
"In 2001, the United States' military airdropped 2.4 million Pop-Tarts in Afghanistan during the US invasion"
No wonder we are still there. :eek:
mweinstone
02-19-2011, 21:02
are there some rabbis who only bless foods? and do they convein at conventions? and if so,.. what trinkets do they get at the tables at the conventions? does kellogs have their own rabbi? are poptarts even kosher? how long does the blessing take? does he stand at the conveayer belt? or use a cherry pickker in the wearhouse to bless it all? just wondering.
and were the airdripped tarts wrapped in non offensive nation propper wrappers? or was spongebob in a bakini dancing drunk on the cover?
Sierra Echo
02-20-2011, 00:31
well,, they are:D
Nope! I'm just not having it!
Pop Tart w/ 400 mg ibuprofin laced filling. Should be dessert flavor, like apple pie or chocolate mousse. Call it the "Oh my knees". Something for the end of the day.
The morning version could have Excedrin or Vanquish in it. Also w/ an Espresso shot and caramel. Call it the "Pack-n-Go"
mweinstone
02-20-2011, 08:25
lets say you get cut in half on the knifes edge. i mean theirs no hope. as your friends file by to say farewell,..a single pack hemlock poptart is left by your mouth, you have also lost your arms,....and you at least have a choice. hemlocks are sold by prescription and only some folks carry them .
morbid mornin hikers!lol.
Big Dawg
02-20-2011, 20:55
Nope! I'm just not having it!
take a nibble,,, you'll agree!!
No bacon ones cause its mean to piggies!
Are Blueberries OK? :-? If so pigs eat blueberries and thus we are just eating recycled blueberries, which means we are being eco-friendly and vegitarian at the same time as we feed our lust for meat. :D
sheepdog
02-21-2011, 10:51
you can get bacon without killing the pig
but the pigs don't appreciate the process
No bacon ones cause its mean to piggies!
Piggies are mean! Trust me, they would eat you if given half a chance.
I raise pigs, I know.
sheepdog
02-21-2011, 17:43
Piggies are mean! Trust me, they would eat you if given half a chance.
I raise pigs, I know.
So let's eat bacon in self defense!!!
TallShark
02-21-2011, 21:13
So let's eat bacon in self defense!!!
Hear Hear, to the consumption of pork goods for the common welfare of the people in the name of self defense. Without pork we have nothing. With pork we have everything, including the ribs i just ate, and whatever was in that sausage.... ooohhhh Pork tenderloin pop-tart with a pineapple glaze.
Pop Tart w/ 400 mg ibuprofin laced filling
I really like this idea but for me, I just want a pop-tart that doesn't turn into a million crumbs when squished or bent slightly. They are more enjoyable when I can bite into them rather than pour the crumbs out of the bag into my mouth.
EastCoastFeastCoast
02-22-2011, 09:17
I marinate my pork tenderloin in honey, sesame oil, brown sugar, and some other stuff... soooo good, love me some pork!
the judge
02-22-2011, 09:56
coffee flavored pop tarts would be good i think. shame they couldnt manage a cold beer poptart
mweinstone
02-22-2011, 13:41
coffee flavored pop tarts would be good i think. shame they couldnt manage a cold beer poptart
cold beer pop tart would be a good name for a hiker bar.
Sickmont
02-22-2011, 16:56
cold beer pop tart would be a good name for a hiker bar.
Hey! There's an idea of what to do with all the money you'll make from your book.
gryphon50
03-23-2011, 19:43
Hardtack poptart....Doesn't matter what you put inside.....
and it doesn't crumble
DBCFlash
03-23-2011, 20:13
How about a swamp-water flavored Pop-Tart. Then the water you find might not taste so bad.
mweinstone
03-23-2011, 20:51
hardtactart sounds good.the crumbeling problem has been solved. wow. thats a huge step in popevoltion. and a giant leap for tartkind.
Make it with loads of fiber and call it a poop tart
Sierra Echo
03-23-2011, 21:47
Make it with loads of fiber and call it a poop tart
LOL thats so dorky! :D
camojack
03-24-2011, 03:56
cold beer pop tart would be a good name for a hiker bar.
I'm pretty sure I heard Britney Spears being referred to as a pop tart... :eek:
Bags4266
03-24-2011, 09:57
The "mweinstone" pop tart.... All the words on the box are misspelled and don't make sense.
Country Roads
03-24-2011, 20:41
Cheeseburger Poptarts with bacon frosting.