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Thatguy
02-26-2011, 18:30
What is the most idiotic thing a non backpacker has ever said to you about backpacking? Recent experience after telling a southern relative about hiking AT. His idea of being in the wilderness has always been to visit a city park.

HIM: You mean to tell me yer gonna spend six month of yer life walkin' arount in the forest with all yer ***** on yer back?
ME: Yeah, just like many people do every year.
HIM: Mmm...mmm...mmm. Y'all crazy. I bet you do yer damn business right there in the damn woods with the bears, racoons, coyotes and everything.
ME: Yeah, it goes with backpacking.
HIM: Do you realize people worked for hundreds a years so they didn't have to do they business in the damn woods? Now you people go an do it anyway. Y'all crazy. Spending half a year walking 'round the forest with yer ***** on yer back doin' yer business with wild animals. Y'all crazy. Mmm...mmm...mmm. Good luck to ya...gonna need it.

He's a good guy but just doesn't see the benefits of backpacking.

Jersey Tim
02-26-2011, 18:42
He's right... "people worked for hundreds a years so they didn't have to do they business in the damn woods", true enough. Other profits of our centuries of progress include Lindsay Lohan, methamphetamine and attention deficit disorder. I'll do my business with the bears and raccoons, thanks.

Namaste
02-26-2011, 19:19
As a female I'm always asked about hairwashing and showering. Others have commented on not being able to sleep in a bed. These concerns in my opinion as a hiker are ridiculous because it's all part of backpacking and I enjoy it but seems to be an issue for non hikers. Some people just don't get it.

fredmugs
02-26-2011, 19:56
Half way down the Kaibob trail going down to the river at the Grand Canyon I had a woman ask me if they had moved the trail.

Wise Old Owl
02-26-2011, 19:57
You need to stop hanging out with professional aging curmudgeons.


Make friends with younger hiking folk don't worry about the lack of understanding.

johnnybgood
02-26-2011, 21:00
I will at times laugh at the "naive" questions that I've been asked over the years about backpacking , but I do answer them respectfully.

The most popular misconception about hiking and backpacking in general has to do with safety . Non hikers think we hikers are at greater risk of being killed on the trail in the woods by bear or some lunatic with a knife.

Amanita
02-26-2011, 21:08
I have to laugh at the "some lunatic with a knife" comment.

When I was a kid, I had friends who lived in "the projects" of a city. There were murders in their neighborhood on a pretty regular basis. But coming out to visit me in the woods, now THAT was scary. They were convinced the woods were full of crazy axe murderers. It all depends what you're used to I suppose.

LDog
02-26-2011, 21:13
Do you realize people worked for hundreds a years so they didn't have to do they business in the damn woods? Now you people go an do it anyway. Y'all crazy.

Now that's a quote for the sig line!

Bronk
02-26-2011, 21:22
I live in a cabin with no running water or electricity, so I get those kinds of questions all the time whether we're discussing the trail or not.

Cookerhiker
02-26-2011, 21:24
I haven't thruhiked but I've talked to non-hiking folks about the AT and how some hikers do it all in one trip. One question: "so he has to carry 6 months worth of provisions on his back?"

Trailweaver
02-27-2011, 02:39
I told my neighbor about sitting on a rock and eating lunch one day on the trail. . . looking down about halfway thru lunch I realized there was a bear track in the sand right next to the rock. She was wide eyed when she asked "Oh, my! Weren't you afraid it would come back?"

skooch
02-27-2011, 08:53
Them: You can't go all by yourself!
Me: I will not be alone all the time.
Them: You better bring a gun!

And I have no positive answer for that gun comment. Anyone got a good comeback that sums up the no gun necessary answer?

Wise Old Owl
02-27-2011, 09:02
"I don't need a gun, I am always shooting off my mouth!":D:banana






Good Morning Skootch! I hope you had your coffee, & don't blow the brew out your nose when you read this.

AndyBees
02-27-2011, 09:21
What is the most idiotic thing a non backpacker has ever said to you about backpacking? Recent experience after telling a southern relative about hiking AT. His idea of being in the wilderness has always been to visit a city park.

HIM: You mean to tell me yer gonna spend six month of yer life walkin' arount in the forest with all yer ***** on yer back?
ME: Yeah, just like many people do every year.
HIM: Mmm...mmm...mmm. Y'all crazy. I bet you do yer damn business right there in the damn woods with the bears, racoons, coyotes and everything.
ME: Yeah, it goes with backpacking.
HIM: Do you realize people worked for hundreds a years so they didn't have to do they business in the damn woods? Now you people go an do it anyway. Y'all crazy. Spending half a year walking 'round the forest with yer ***** on yer back doin' yer business with wild animals. Y'all crazy. Mmm...mmm...mmm. Good luck to ya...gonna need it.

He's a good guy but just doesn't see the benefits of backpacking.

Bashing southerners, looking for idiotic comments from those who don't or have not hiked (non-hikers), or what!

When I "announced" to family and friends that I would like to hike the AT (thru or bust), not a single comment similar to what I've read thus far in this Thread! Encouragment, yes! Questions in general, yes! Of course, I've been an "outdoorsy" person all my life.....hunter, fisherman, etc., as well as most of my friends! So, being in the outdoors is considered a natural thing!........... most of them cannot relate to a "housing project" or urban setting anyway!

Torch09
02-27-2011, 09:42
Anyone got a good comeback that sums up the no gun necessary answer?

how about "I have a brain, I don't need a piece." ;)

Thatguy
02-27-2011, 09:52
I would have to say that country people seem to understand backpacking more than city people. I did meet someone from NYC last year and he had been on several backpacking trips. I'm just always amazed how backpacking is a difficult concept to grasp for some people. A fellow backpacker once told me his girlfriend's father asked him where he learned to live off the land like he'd have to when he hiked the AT. People tend to assume rather than ask.

Blue Wolf
02-27-2011, 10:24
The most funny thing I heard from some people on the trail was. Where are all of you people heading to?....we were in Bland Va we said were walking to Maine the the 2 lady's standing next to their car asked how many years would that take us? When we said most do it in 6 months she said no one cant hike to Maine from Virginia in 6 months.

She really got a strange look when we told her we started in Georgia and then asked us several other questions.....she was very nice just didn't have any clue that people did crazy stuff like walking to Maine in 6 months or less.

warpzilla
02-27-2011, 10:49
Somewhere in Virginia, I was hiking on a road the trail followed for a bit and a mini van packed with a family from Ohio en route to the Outer Banks drove up behind me.

Them: Do you know where the Appalachian Trail is?
Me: You're on it.
Them: Really! WOW! Have you read A Walk in the Woods?
Me: Yes
Them: Are you hiking the whole thing?
Me: Yes
Them: Do you want some fresh fruit?
Me: Yes
Them: Can we take a family picture with you while you wear our Uncle's Fleece Vest he forgot last time he visited? We are on our way to the beach to see him and we want to take as many pictures with random people wearing his vest as possible.
Me: Sure, I haven't showered in about four days but whatever.
Them (Mother): Okay kids gather round the hiker...say cheese!

Then they wished me luck and went on their way. Love It. Poor Uncle.

Rocket Jones
02-27-2011, 10:50
how about "I have a brain, I don't need a piece." ;)

Instead of implying that gun owner = idiot, why not just say "I don't personally feel the need to carry a gun."?

Torch09
02-27-2011, 11:21
Instead of implying that gun owner = idiot, why not just say "I don't personally feel the need to carry a gun."?


Well, you can tell people whatever you like, but this is typically my response when I'm told that I'M an idiot for NOT carrying a weapon.

double d
02-27-2011, 11:42
I have a good friend who onced asked me why I wanted to live in a nylon sack for a month (I was section hiking on the AT)! I told him I like the smell of nylon in the morning (I couldn't think of a better line, I know). 98% of Americans have 100% completely divorced themselves from their natural environment and thats sad.

Rocket Jones
02-27-2011, 11:53
Well, you can tell people whatever you like, but this is typically my response when I'm told that I'M an idiot for NOT carrying a weapon.

Just because they do it to you doesn't make it right to do it back. Just sayin'.

Carefully reread my suggested reply. Non-judgemental and making it clear that it's a personal choice.

Camping Dave
02-27-2011, 11:57
I have to laugh at the "some lunatic with a knife" comment.

When I was a kid, I had friends who lived in "the projects" of a city. There were murders in their neighborhood on a pretty regular basis. But coming out to visit me in the woods, now THAT was scary. They were convinced the woods were full of crazy axe murderers. It all depends what you're used to I suppose.

Well you probably think a good portion of WBers are idiots then. Check out any thread remotely related to self defense and you'll see many folk bragging about carrying guns, mace, pepper spray, knives, hatchets, etc., or their plans to poke bad men's eyes out with their trekking poles. Lots of scaredy cats here.

As to the original question though, I've had adult boy scout leaders ask why I would want to go backpacking? Maybe not the stupidest comment ever but considering the context, adults volunteers in America's largest outdoor youth program, pretty mindboggling.

rickb
02-27-2011, 13:13
Them: You can't go all by yourself!
Me: I will not be alone all the time.
Them: You better bring a gun!

And I have no positive answer for that gun comment. Anyone got a good comeback that sums up the no gun necessary answer?

You might simply tell them that only 5 thru hikers (like yourself) have been murdered on the trail.

If they remain concerned, explain that there have been a great deal many more thru hikers who have not been killed, so the odds are in your favor.

If they still think you should carry a gun, explain that the thru hikers who were killed were either women, or a man traveling with a woman. And that you just don't see the latter than happening.

rickb
02-27-2011, 13:15
Heard this one a few times:

"OK, but how are you going to get back?"

Might not be a stupid question, except that on at least one occasion it was the only question or comment.

Torch09
02-27-2011, 13:33
Carefully reread my suggested reply. Non-judgemental and making it clear that it's a personal choice.


Carefully reread your own post. Key words 'non-judgemental' and 'personal choice.'

Old Hiker
02-27-2011, 14:16
Just remember: every time we answer in a nice way the "dumb" questions from non-hikers or people who are not sensitive to how we need to protect the "outdoors", we may be planting a seed for a new life member of the ATC, someone who will volunteer at a trail club near them or at least donate to a club. If nothing else, maybe they will think before dumping those candy wrappers and coke cans in the woods.

Cookerhiker
02-27-2011, 14:29
Just remember: every time we answer in a nice way the "dumb" questions from non-hikers or people who are not sensitive to how we need to protect the "outdoors", we may be planting a seed for a new life member of the ATC, someone who will volunteer at a trail club near them or at least donate to a club. If nothing else, maybe they will think before dumping those candy wrappers and coke cans in the woods.

Well-said! We are ambassadors in a way.

Wise Old Owl
02-27-2011, 14:35
You might simply tell them that only 5 thru hikers (like yourself) have been murdered on the trail.

If they remain concerned, explain that there have been a great deal many more thru hikers who have not been killed, so the odds are in your favor.

If they still think you should carry a gun, explain that the thru hikers who were killed were either women, or a man traveling with a woman. And that you just don't see the latter than happening.

I came back to see if Skootch was going to poke me with a big stick.... :-?

Rickb - this is one thing I would not tell them...

It would be more like "Guns are heavy, and the licencing for a wide number of states would be problematic, besides it would be un-necessary."

sbhikes
02-27-2011, 23:23
98% of Americans have 100% completely divorced themselves from their natural environment and thats sad.

Being a post-hike person I've had to find ways to stay in touch with the natural environment. Today I collected about 5 pounds of wild edible mushrooms and had a fabulous dinner of lobster ravioli with wild mushrooms. I also collected some other mushrooms to learn how to identify other kinds. Those weren't edible. I also harvested some wild greens that went in the salad. The only thing better would have been to have grown the lettuce and caught the lobster myself. At least I planted some lettuce seeds today.

I spent a day in touch with nature, hiking in the rare snow (we don't get a lot of snow here), sitting out in the sun watching hawks circle, collecting wild edibles and eating them. What a great day!

XCskiNYC
02-27-2011, 23:42
Somebody asked me how often I came across moonshine stills.

Lumberpat73
02-27-2011, 23:47
Rickb - this is one thing I would not tell them...

It would be more like "Guns are heavy, and the licencing for a wide number of states would be problematic, besides it would be un-necessary."


I've used this argument and it seems to work, although I then need to bring up that shotguns are just way to heavy and bulky to carry for 2 thousand miles.

Sierra Echo
02-28-2011, 07:48
Your portrayal of Southerners is annoying me. If I were you, I would zip it!

10-K
02-28-2011, 08:57
He's right... "people worked for hundreds a years so they didn't have to do they business in the damn woods", true enough. Other profits of our centuries of progress include Lindsay Lohan, methamphetamine and attention deficit disorder. I'll do my business with the bears and raccoons, thanks.

Well, to be fair we also have penicillin, automobiles, electricity, plumbing and the polio vaccine.

Give me the 21st century any day.

the judge
02-28-2011, 09:04
"are you taking a gun" "what the heck is the appalachian trail?" "how are you going to get back?" "are you coming back?" "what about all the bears?" "how are you going to take baths?" "are you crazy?" "how are you going to make money if you're hiking?" "what about your bills?" etc etc etc... not all of them are stupid questions, but still.

Speakeasy TN
02-28-2011, 09:27
Your portrayal of Southerners is annoying me. If I were you, I would zip it!

Didn't you get the memo. We're the only people that it's OK to be openly rude to.

Thatguy
02-28-2011, 10:11
@Sierra Echo
@Lamarr


What I wrote wasn’t a portrayal of southerners. It was a portrayal of my cousin. That’s how he talks, that’s what he said. When I showed him what I wrote he had no problem with it.

I am someone who spent a few years living in the south. I’m sure that neither of you have under any circumstances, ever made any negative portrayal of people you refer to as “Yankees.” When I lived in the south, if I had a penny for every time I heard “All y’all Yankees” this and “All y’all Yankees” that, I would be a rich man. It didn’t bother me.

I don’t take being teased or kidded about being a “Yankee” by my cousin or my southern friends as anything more than friendly banter. They do poke fun at how I talk also. I don’t take such things serious. I have more important things that upset me.

Hikemor
02-28-2011, 10:17
Somewhere in Virginia, I was stuck in traffic behind hiking on a road the trail followed for a bit and a mini van packed with a family from Ohio en route to the Outer Banks.

Fixed it for you.

Hikemor
02-28-2011, 10:23
"hiking on a road the trail followed for a bit and" - strikethrough didn't work
:confused:

Pedaling Fool
02-28-2011, 10:26
I'm a proud yankee that lives in a conquered land:D

Old Hiker
02-28-2011, 12:42
@Sierra Echo
@Lamarr


What I wrote wasn’t a portrayal of southerners. It was a portrayal of my cousin. That’s how he talks, that’s what he said. When I showed him what I wrote he had no problem with it.

I am someone who spent a few years living in the south. I’m sure that neither of you have under any circumstances, ever made any negative portrayal of people you refer to as “Yankees.” When I lived in the south, if I had a penny for every time I heard “All y’all Yankees” this and “All y’all Yankees” that, I would be a rich man. It didn’t bother me.

I don’t take being teased or kidded about being a “Yankee” by my cousin or my southern friends as anything more than friendly banter. They do poke fun at how I talk also. I don’t take such things serious. I have more important things that upset me.

Saw a group of re-enactors once in VA. Asked them who they were portraying and they said the name of some proud non-Yankee brigade from Alabamy or some such. Told them in my neck of the woods that if you weren't a native born Texan, you were a d*Yankee. They had a hoot! Spent a couple of excellent hours with them, learning about re-enactors, their brigade, etc. Had some Yankee re-enactors drop by as well.

skooch
02-28-2011, 14:06
Heard this one a few times:

"OK, but how are you going to get back?"

Might not be a stupid question, except that on at least one occasion it was the only question or comment.

hahha I've been asked that on too.

skooch
02-28-2011, 17:28
I came back to see if Skootch was going to poke me with a big stick.... :-?

Rickb - this is one thing I would not tell them...

It would be more like "Guns are heavy, and the licencing for a wide number of states would be problematic, besides it would be un-necessary."

No Woo I thought that was funny! Didn't mean to start the gun debate ya'll. I just can't believe 8 out of 10 people ask me if I'm bringing a gun. Now I'm worried I'll be the only one without one. Do I want to really go into the woods? What kind of place is that?

TallShark
02-28-2011, 22:21
^I didnt until last time.

Papa D
02-28-2011, 23:04
I've been asked the gun question too and of course I don't carry one and think it is a stupid idea but it made me think of this story:
Hiker goes into a gun shop and tells the clerk that he'll be hiking in bear country - she shows him a nice pistol and suggests however that he grind the sight off the gun so that the barrel is nice and smooth. He asks, why the hell would I do that? She replies that it will be much more comfortable that way when the bear shoves it up his arse!

TallShark
02-28-2011, 23:16
^Bwahahah- not

Papa D
02-28-2011, 23:38
hmm - I'm afraid I'm about a millionth generation southerner - the absolute quintessential southerner (genealogically speaking, that is) and I think it's absolutely fine to make fun of us -we need it - the state I live in (GA) has always said, "thank god for Mississippi" when speaking of our national scholastic rankings - we are maybe next to last (?) - I think that parts of the south are beautiful and fun and I have a connection to this place. I like and cherish the forests, and rivers, mountains, and some of the people, but our ideas, politics, religious intolerance, diet, rednecks, etc. are totally worthy of making fun of and I have no problem with it. You will notice a direct correlation between (so called) blue states and scholastic rankings (and IQ) - the "bluer the smarter" - the "redder", the dumber - and I'm afraid I live in one of the dumbest states of all - I can't help it - it's just true.

Papa D
02-28-2011, 23:39
I'm sure with the previous post I've really started something - didn't mean any to hurt any feelings - sorry if I did

TallShark
02-28-2011, 23:57
^ I have a great explanation for said scholastic rankings involving socio-economic status and racial divisions amongst the regions of the United States. I find this topic unfitting for a hiking website though. And before you get all upset over my comment I received this education from a very liberal university.

LoneRidgeRunner
02-28-2011, 23:59
What I hear most about backpacking is the gun thing. "Now way I'd sleep in the woods without a gun." When I was deer hunting I always had my deer rifle but when not deer hunting I carry no gun and think nothing of it.
Funny thing though as many of the people who ask the gun question sleep in the murderous cities and don't have a gun in the house. They will tell you "I HATE GUNS!" But then tell you that you should carry one in the woods.

TNjed
03-01-2011, 00:46
I just tell 'em my last name is Conner and they back up smooth, I don't need no stinkin' gun, I got a knife

George
03-01-2011, 00:52
I just could not pick which one to bring so I went without

Papa D
03-01-2011, 08:39
Thanks TallShark - good point - we'll keep it off of W.B. - and I really never get "all upset" - have a good day

skooch
03-01-2011, 09:12
hmm - I'm afraid I'm about a millionth generation southerner - the absolute quintessential southerner (genealogically speaking, that is) and I think it's absolutely fine to make fun of us -we need it - the state I live in (GA) has always said, "thank god for Mississippi" when speaking of our national scholastic rankings - we are maybe next to last (?) - I think that parts of the south are beautiful and fun and I have a connection to this place. I like and cherish the forests, and rivers, mountains, and some of the people, but our ideas, politics, religious intolerance, diet, rednecks, etc. are totally worthy of making fun of and I have no problem with it. You will notice a direct correlation between (so called) blue states and scholastic rankings (and IQ) - the "bluer the smarter" - the "redder", the dumber - and I'm afraid I live in one of the dumbest states of all - I can't help it - it's just true.

We have a Florida expression. In our state regarding attitudes "the more south you go, the more north you get and the more north you go the more south you get".

Thatguy
03-04-2011, 09:54
Well, my cousin has read the thread and due to his constant calling I will give you his response since he doesn't want to do it himself.

"I want you to tell all my fellow southerners that we is NOT any less intelligent than any damn yankees. They give us yankee tests, wrote by yankees to make damn yankees look like they smart. How many yankees could pass a test wrote by a southerner? Hmmmm? A Southern test gonna make them damn yankees look like they got IQs with decimal points in the front. Yes sir that would happen."

I tried to get the conversation back to backpacking. I told him I could stop at his place on my way to the AT and he could try backpacking with me just once. His response.

"Me? No, no, no, no, no! Mama did not raise her beautiful baby boy to sleep in no damn dirt with bugs an creepy crawlies. Y'all go an sleep in the damn dirt and cuddle with them damn creepy crawly bug creatures all you want. This boy is gonna be be snoring on his Serta!"

I've given up on him ever developing a desire for backpacking.

Old Hiker
03-04-2011, 23:09
Give the damyankees this one:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? 66 Ford Fairlane, 69 Chevrolet Chevelle, 64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will it take to cut the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic on secondary roads, what are the chances that it will strike a vehicle that has a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?

8th grade education my assets!

skooch
03-05-2011, 09:56
Hahaa as a southern gal I thought that was great! Had to read it out loud to my husband who is a yankee.

V Eight
03-05-2011, 10:21
Give the damyankees this one:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? 66 Ford Fairlane, 69 Chevrolet Chevelle, 64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will it take to cut the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic on secondary roads, what are the chances that it will strike a vehicle that has a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?

1-inch and a half, if she don’t go out to far

2-the Ford

3- depends, what did they come out of?

4- you really expect me to know that kind of math

5-ozone layer

6- depends, how many years did it take to fall

7- and maybe a couple grand kid as well

8- odd’s are not good

9- too many

10- again with the math, really?

Sassafras Lass
03-05-2011, 10:26
From my coworkers:

"Haven't you seen 'Deliverance'?!"

"So, do you just, like, fish and stuff to eat?"

"Why aren't you bringing a gun or cell phone?? What if you get hurt or attacked by a bear?"

I just tell them I'll be back around Halloween!

Speakeasy TN
03-07-2011, 11:35
Give the damyankees this one:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? 66 Ford Fairlane, 69 Chevrolet Chevelle, 64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will it take to cut the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic on secondary roads, what are the chances that it will strike a vehicle that has a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?

8th grade education my assets!

Hilarious! Got any racist jokes to share? Bottom line is stereotyping is dangerous. You do realize that we aren't all cut from that cloth?
It's all fine to say "No offense intended" but once it is clear you did, to keep going is assinine.

Old Hiker
03-07-2011, 12:33
Hilarious! Got any racist jokes to share? Bottom line is stereotyping is dangerous. You do realize that we aren't all cut from that cloth?
It's all fine to say "No offense intended" but once it is clear you did, to keep going is assinine.

Why, yes, I DO have racist jokes. Would you like the ones my first black military supervisor told me about whites or would you like the (very few - I didn't hear many until I joined the military) black ones I told him? We both agreed that is was "asinine" to tell jokes that hurt on purpose and it probably stemmed from an inferiority complex on one side or the other. He was one of the best mentors I ever had and one of the smartest supervisors. We agreed there was a vast difference between actual humor and putting someone down to feel superior.

One of the smartest officer supervisors I ever had spoke like a back-woods hillbilly. He had 2 masters degrees and was working on his PhD, but couldn't spell a lick. This was before spell-check, so I got to read and correct ALL his correspondence.

Was it wrong for the blind people at the Lighthouse for the Blind to tell my sighted father blind jokes? "Why don't blind people skydive? It scares the dog too much."

Is it wrong for my lawyer to tell me lawyer jokes? "What do you call a bus load of lawyers driving off a cliff? A good start."

Was it wrong for me to send my proctologist the humor piece by Dave Barry and HIS endoscopy experience? Google it - hilarious.

Bottom line for me: in person, tell me you are uncomfortable with those jokes. I'll respect you and stop. On-line - TV - radio, etc., don't listen/read or turn the channel. Truly offensive and/or hurtful material does rate a complaint or ten, however.

dragoro
03-07-2011, 12:45
Hilarious! Got any racist jokes to share? Bottom line is stereotyping is dangerous. You do realize that we aren't all cut from that cloth?
It's all fine to say "No offense intended" but once it is clear you did, to keep going is assinine.

Geez, get off the PC train already.

Speakeasy TN
03-07-2011, 12:46
Why, yes, I DO have racist jokes. Would you like the ones my first black military supervisor told me about whites or would you like the (very few - I didn't hear many until I joined the military) black ones I told him? We both agreed that is was "asinine" to tell jokes that hurt on purpose and it probably stemmed from an inferiority complex on one side or the other. He was one of the best mentors I ever had and one of the smartest supervisors. We agreed there was a vast difference between actual humor and putting someone down to feel superior.

One of the smartest officer supervisors I ever had spoke like a back-woods hillbilly. He had 2 masters degrees and was working on his PhD, but couldn't spell a lick. This was before spell-check, so I got to read and correct ALL his correspondence.

Was it wrong for the blind people at the Lighthouse for the Blind to tell my sighted father blind jokes? "Why don't blind people skydive? It scares the dog too much."

Is it wrong for my lawyer to tell me lawyer jokes? "What do you call a bus load of lawyers driving off a cliff? A good start."

Was it wrong for me to send my proctologist the humor piece by Dave Barry and HIS endoscopy experience? Google it - hilarious.

Bottom line for me: in person, tell me you are uncomfortable with those jokes. I'll respect you and stop. On-line - TV - radio, etc., don't listen/read or turn the channel. Truly offensive and/or hurtful material does rate a complaint or ten, however.

Fair enough. Is there any reason to put them in a hiking forum, in a thread about hiking questions instead of the HUMOR section? Doesn't seem like that's asking too much.
And for the great overseer, I'm not nearly irritated enough to get into complaint territory!:D

dragoro
03-07-2011, 12:47
Fair enough. Is there any reason to put them in a hiking forum, in a thread about hiking questions instead of the HUMOR section? Doesn't seem like that's asking too much.
And for the great overseer, I'm not nearly irritated enough to get into complaint territory!:D

Why don't you worry bout policing his posts when your an actuall mod.

TallShark
03-07-2011, 14:16
^ hey to all you d-bags I didn't appreciate it either.... yes I called you d-bags. How about all of the food I've had up North sucks and I hate your accents.

trailangelbronco
03-07-2011, 14:52
We westerners think that you lil southerners and Yankees are pretty funny and enjoy reading your banter about hiking up and down your little tiny hills back east and making fun of each other.

Old Hiker
03-07-2011, 14:55
We westerners think that you lil southerners and Yankees are pretty funny and enjoy reading your banter about hiking up and down your little tiny hills back east and making fun of each other.


:mad: HEY!! IT'S NOT THE SIZE..........., OK, it's the size that matters. ;)

One time to Philmont was the farthest west I've been. Hope to get there sometime before assuming room temp. Count your blessings!

trailangelbronco
03-07-2011, 18:18
I was completely joking. Grew up in Maine and remember just how steep those lil hills were! I sometimes miss knowing that I was geting close to the top when I started seeing the sun through the trees. People don't understand out here.

sir limpsalot
03-07-2011, 18:50
Fair enough. Is there any reason to put them in a hiking forum, in a thread about hiking questions instead of the HUMOR section? Doesn't seem like that's asking too much.
And for the great overseer, I'm not nearly irritated enough to get into complaint territory!:D

How old are you? waa waa waa

sir limpsalot
03-07-2011, 18:51
^ hey to all you d-bags I didn't appreciate it either.... yes I called you d-bags. How about all of the food I've had up North sucks and I hate your accents.


Now that's funny!

sir limpsalot
03-07-2011, 18:52
We westerners think that you lil southerners and Yankees are pretty funny and enjoy reading your banter about hiking up and down your little tiny hills back east and making fun of each other.


Even better!

Thatguy
03-08-2011, 11:41
If we want to dislike one another I say let's forget Yankees, southerners, westerners and even eastwesterners or nothsoutherners.

Personally I dislike hikers who like Blue cheese salas dressing. Let's face it...these people are mold eaters! I'm sure as a people they could easily survive off wet backpacking gear but for the rest of us it would be a struggle.

I mean...if you'll eat mold what's next?

Oh, Stupid hiker question a guy from REI told me someone asked him.

"Why would you walk somewhere you can drive to?"

JokerJersey
03-08-2011, 12:14
This past weekend I was talking the Trail to a guy in a bar and after we got passed the gun comment by me telling him that not only would it be too heavy and all the regulations concerned, he got a sorta thoughtful look on his face and said, "Well, how about a crossbow?"

I've gotten all the normal ones too "Aren't you scared of the crazy people?", hunting/fishing/gathering questions, "How do you find water?", "Where do you sleep?", and the ever popular "Why would you want to?". Thankfully these types of questions only come from strangers as I've sorta shifted my friend group to those types of people who at least understand why I do what I do.

Frogdown
03-08-2011, 12:23
Actually 9 people have been murdered on the trail. Sure won't cause me to carry a gun or stay home.

Ogre
03-08-2011, 15:25
I've gotten all the normal ones too "Aren't you scared of the crazy people?", hunting/fishing/gathering questions, "How do you find water?", "Where do you sleep?", and the ever popular "Why would you want to?". Thankfully these types of questions only come from strangers as I've sorta shifted my friend group to those types of people who at least understand why I do what I do.

One thing I've noticed is that while everyone asks "Why?", the tone is different. Other hikers, whether they've done or want to do long distance hikes or not, tend to ask, not literally "Why?" but instead "What made you decide to do that?". Others ask "Why would you want to do that?", with a tone of "are you insane?" (yes)

scope
03-08-2011, 15:32
Why don't you worry bout policing his posts when your an actuall mod.

He wasn't policing, just commenting.


How old are you? waa waa waa

????? Really!?


Bottom line for me: in person, tell me you are uncomfortable with those jokes. I'll respect you and stop. On-line - TV - radio, etc., don't listen/read or turn the channel. Truly offensive and/or hurtful material does rate a complaint or ten, however.

Guy espoused an opinion and you took it and ran with more jokes, ridiculous assertions about not being able to tell lawyer jokes to a lawyer, etc., and then you're going to tell us what is truly offensive and not? Seriously?!?

Speakeasy TN
03-08-2011, 16:34
If we want to dislike one another I say let's forget Yankees, southerners, westerners and even eastwesterners or nothsoutherners.

Personally I dislike hikers who like Blue cheese salas dressing. Let's face it...these people are mold eaters! I'm sure as a people they could easily survive off wet backpacking gear but for the rest of us it would be a struggle.

I mean...if you'll eat mold what's next?

Oh, Stupid hiker question a guy from REI told me someone asked him.

"Why would you walk somewhere you can drive to?"

Now that's pretty funny! Would you believe I LOVE Bleu cheese? I swear!:banana

danger zone
03-08-2011, 17:04
Checking out of the motel in Bland in 06, lady asked the usual- started where and going where? What!!! Incredulous she informed me, " you know, you could fly or take the train/bus to Maine and be there faster and cheaper, your an idiot! I just smiled and walked away:rolleyes:

weary
03-08-2011, 19:59
He's right... "people worked for hundreds a years so they didn't have to do they business in the damn woods", true enough. .....
Absolutely right. Now we dump our business into rivers and ocean waters, poisoning our drinking water and many species of seafood.

Some of our most productive shellfish flats in my town are now closed because of widespread human pollution in our rivers and tidal estuaries.
Some call this progress. I call it ignorant and stupid vandalism.

FritztheCat
03-08-2011, 20:36
I pretty much have a tie between two questions normally asked:

(1) How are you going to carry enough food for six months?; and
(2) Are you taking a gun?

I explain the trail towns, option of mail drops, etc. about the food and have a variety of answers for the second question, depending on who's asking. I'll either say a gun would be too heavy and too inconvenient to try to get permits everywhere along the trail, or I'll tell them that I can't tell them if I'm carrying or not because it is safer in not knowing, or I'll tell them I'm carrying a six sided dice to roll for initiative. If I win, I'll fireball the threat and if I lose I'll use a mirror protection spell. That gets strange looks but hey, it's fun.

Very rarely am I asked "Why?" After spendng a few minutes talking, the other person usually tells me how jealous they are that I have the time and ability to do this hike.

scope
03-09-2011, 14:30
what's a gun?

fernbeetle
03-12-2011, 17:11
I get the same 2 questions. I explain the food drops te same way. As a retired cop I can carry nation wide thanks to the Patriot Act. Still it is added weight so I will take a pass on carrying. And I respond to all my cop buddies with a question, "how often in the past 4 months did you need your gun?" Then they remind me there are bears in the woods. So I remind them to tell the bears I am coming. lol.

fernbeetle
03-12-2011, 18:05
When friends ask about packing a gun I just ask them how often they needed a gun in the past 4-6 months. That cools the idea down some.

Options
03-12-2011, 22:54
Are you hiding from the LAW or somethin?