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View Full Version : how do i convince family that im not going to die out there?



Ipath
03-21-2011, 16:02
i have plenty of outdoor experience and have been hiking threw the mountains tons of times. but my family lives under a giant cape of fear of everything that isn't outside of there little box there scared of. all they say is how people get killed out here on the trail every-year. witch i dont think is true at all and how they dont want me going cause they think im gonna die just like every time i go hiking. how do i convince them that this just simply is not the case. all they talk about is how im gonna disappear and get lost:rolleyes:. this happens everytime i go hiking but because i will be gone for so long this time there really freaking out. i have tried everything possible that i can think of. how do i convince them?

bigmac_in
03-21-2011, 16:10
I see you are from Indiana - want me to come talk to them? :D

Raul Perez
03-21-2011, 16:11
Tell your family to flip the bill for a Spot 2 so they can track you on google map. It also allows you to send text messages letting them know you are ok and if you are in real serious danger you can hit the Rescue button.

http://www.gpstrackersandmore.com/spot2-gps-tracker

bigmac_in
03-21-2011, 16:13
Tell your family to flip the bill for a Spot 2 so they can track you on google map. It also allows you to send text messages letting them know you are ok and if you are in real serious danger you can hit the Rescue button.

http://www.gpstrackersandmore.com/spot2-gps-tracker


Screw that - they need to get over it. You are in more danger just getting to the trail than being on it.

sheepdog
03-21-2011, 16:14
Screw that - they need to get over it. You are in more danger just getting to the trail than being on it.
Don't sugar coat it, just say what's on your mind. :D

Ipath
03-21-2011, 16:16
Screw that - they need to get over it. You are in more danger just getting to the trail than being on it.

seriously tried explaining this to them. they dont seem to understand. i just dont even know anymore. the main thing is my car is broke down so my grandpal was gonna give me a ride to the start of the trail. but due to family fear mongering they no longer are willing to so i gotta find other transportation or some how magicly convince them.. :confused:

Raul Perez
03-21-2011, 16:18
Screw that - they need to get over it. You are in more danger just getting to the trail than being on it.

LOL

Well you could tell them to suck it up and tape an aspirin to their forehead cause you're leavin no matter what...

or...

Try to meet them halfway


I'm just giving options.

bigmac_in
03-21-2011, 16:22
LOL

Well you could tell them to suck it up and tape an aspirin to their forehead cause you're leavin no matter what...

or...

Try to meet them halfway


I'm just giving options.


Too bad everyone on here doesn't have your sense of humor. :D

I'm sure it is an option for some - but personally, I'd never cave to it.

-SEEKER-
03-21-2011, 16:22
Maybe have them look at other hikers journals or read some posts here on WB?

Ipath
03-21-2011, 16:23
LOL

Well you could tell them to suck it up and tape an aspirin to their forehead cause you're leavin no matter what...

or...

Try to meet them halfway


I'm just giving options.

lol they know that pretty much what i have to do everytime i go hiking witch leaves them in anger tears. but my car broke and they were my transportation before the fear mongering now im stuck...

i just dont get people these days...

Sickmont
03-21-2011, 16:24
Maybe the easiest way to convince them is just by not dying when you're out there period.....

Ipath
03-21-2011, 16:25
Maybe have them look at other hikers journals or read some posts here on WB?

the main thing is my grandpals brother from atlanta said that there are parts of the trail were atleast 40 people are murdered every year! thats what sealed the deal on them not willing to give me a ride.

i was like ***? were do you even get that sort of information from? that is simply not true....

Raul Perez
03-21-2011, 16:32
So the GPS tracker is not an option....

cricket71
03-21-2011, 16:36
hitch then call em when u get there thats what I did when I went to jamaca at 18. I actually flew tough to hitch across the water, but i called when i got there. couldn't do much the "love ya mom c-ya soon, outta change by" they were mad but they got over it when i came home.

innermountain
03-21-2011, 16:40
There may be nothing you can say to make them feel better. Perhaps having them come out hiking with you would help alleviate their fears?

sheepdog
03-21-2011, 16:41
lol they know that pretty much what i have to do everytime i go hiking witch leaves them in anger tears. but my car broke and they were my transportation before the fear mongering now im stuck...

i just dont get people these days...

prove to them that you are an adult and can overcome problems.


find a ride to the trail with out their help.

Ipath
03-21-2011, 16:41
Tell your family to flip the bill for a Spot 2 so they can track you on google map. It also allows you to send text messages letting them know you are ok and if you are in real serious danger you can hit the Rescue button.

http://www.gpstrackersandmore.com/spot2-gps-tracker


how hard is this to setup or do you even have to set it up at all?

WingedMonkey
03-21-2011, 16:44
seriously tried explaining this to them. they dont seem to understand. i just dont even know anymore. the main thing is my car is broke down so my grandpal was gonna give me a ride to the start of the trail. but due to family fear mongering they no longer are willing to so i gotta find other transportation or some how magicly convince them.. :confused:

If you can't figure out how to get to the trail...you probably are going to die on the trail.
:welcome

Ipath
03-21-2011, 16:45
If you can't figure out how to get to the trail...you probably are going to die on the trail.
:welcome

sigh i know how to get there but its a bit hard to get there from indiana without a car and i dont know people willing to give me a ride... worse comes to worse ill just hitch but i would rather it not come to that...

sheepdog
03-21-2011, 16:46
sigh i know how to get there but its a bit hard to get there from indiana without a car and i dont know people willing to give me a ride... worse comes to worse ill just hitch but i would rather it not come to that...
there's always the dog

or amtrack

Frogdown
03-21-2011, 16:48
In the history of the AT only 9 people have been murdered, and a couple of those was 2 at a time so not even 9 separate incidents. Now considering about 30,000 (?) hike on the trail a year, your odds a pretty good you won't get murdered! :sun

Raul Perez
03-21-2011, 16:50
how hard is this to setup or do you even have to set it up at all?

Not sure... never owned one... but from the demo's online it seems pretty simple to set up.

But they nail you for the unit AND for the service. That's how they get you...

If your family is willing to pay for it to diminish their fears... worth carrying at around 3oz.

sheepdog
03-21-2011, 16:50
In the history of the AT only 9 people have been murdered, and a couple of those was 2 at a time so not even 9 separate incidents. Now considering about 30,000 (?) hike on the trail a year, your odds a pretty good you won't get murdered! :sun

but he could fall, get struck by lightning, killer bee's, snake bit........


so it's still not a sure thing ;)

SerenitySeeker
03-21-2011, 16:56
9 people murdered on the trail? who what when where why and how comes to mind...

skinewmexico
03-21-2011, 17:09
the main thing is my grandpals brother from atlanta said that there are parts of the trail were atleast 40 people are murdered every year!

Hard to compete with a blatant liar. Sounds like an idiot. Now I bet there are highways close to you where 40 people are killed in wrecks every year........

cold kettle
03-21-2011, 17:17
Statistcally you are safer on the trail then on a sidewalk in any city in the world. I ran into the same problem and after I told them the above, I started acting very obnoxious and now most of them are hoping something will happen to me (just kidding, ask anybody I'm as lovable as ever).

mountain squid
03-21-2011, 17:18
The importance of grammar. I'm posting my original reply even though I now see that I misunderstood "this happens everytime". I thought it meant that the original poster gets lost everytime. Before replying I reread the orig post and it then occurred to me that your parents are concerned everytime you go hiking.



My original reply was to be:

get lost:rolleyes:. this happens everytime i go hikingPersonally, I know nothing about the original poster other than 18 yrs old, from Indiana, and gets lost everytime hiking. The 'gets lost everytime hiking' is cause for concern, I think.

I don't think it is easy to get lost on the AT, however, it is very easy to get turned around, disoriented, follow an animal trail because every hiker before you has done the same and made it look like the trail, etc. And, if injured . . .

Generally, as long as you are able to maintain your senses, eventually you should/would come across a road or another hiker.

I concur with Raul Perez about a SPOT device to alleviate your parents fears/concerns, as I'm sure they know you better than anyone here on WB. There are probably alot of hikers carrying one.

A whistle might not be a bad idea, as well as the maps, a compass, and a guidebook.




A whistle, maps, compass and guidebook are still recommended. I'm not sure if I'd still recommend a SPOT device . . . Good Luck and Have Fun!

See you on the trail,
mt squid

some observations (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?t=14493)

hikerboy57
03-21-2011, 17:21
Tell your parents, its pain that scares you, not death, and you're planning well to avoid as much pain as possible... I accept the inevitability of my own demise, I just dont know the when, where, or how. I want my gravestone to read"I knew this was going to happen!"
My biggest concern on the trail is ticks. Im more paranoid about lyme disease than bears, killers, lightning or anything else. Its always ticks!!! They're so darn tiny!!
go hike. use your head.you'll be fine.

Ipath
03-21-2011, 17:22
Hard to compete with a blatant liar. Sounds like an idiot. Now I bet there are highways close to you were 40 people are killed in wrecks every year........

tried to explain this to them got the response. "its cause your young and you think your immortal"

dont even know how to respond to that. im gonna just take a train at this point. but as much as i disagree with them. i hate leaving them always depressed and worry'ed with an un-eased mind. but i guess it cannot be helped..

Ipath
03-21-2011, 17:24
The importance of grammar. I'm posting my original reply even though I now see that I misunderstood "this happens everytime". I thought it meant that the original poster gets lost everytime. Before replying I reread the orig post and it then occurred to me that your parents are concerned everytime you go hiking.



My original reply was to be:
Personally, I know nothing about the original poster other than 18 yrs old, from Indiana, and gets lost everytime hiking. The 'gets lost everytime hiking' is cause for concern, I think.

I don't think it is easy to get lost on the AT, however, it is very easy to get turned around, disoriented, follow an animal trail because every hiker before you has done the same and made it look like the trail, etc. And, if injured . . .

Generally, as long as you are able to maintain your senses, eventually you should/would come across a road or another hiker.

I concur with Raul Perez about a SPOT device to alleviate your parents fears/concerns, as I'm sure they know you better than anyone here on WB. There are probably alot of hikers carrying one.

A whistle might not be a bad idea, as well as the maps, a compass, and a guidebook.




A whistle, maps, compass and guidebook are still recommended. I'm not sure if I'd still recommend a SPOT device . . . Good Luck and Have Fun!

See you on the trail,
mt squid

some observations (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?t=14493)

haha no ive never been lost im quite good at finding my way around.

Ipath
03-21-2011, 17:25
Tell your parents, its pain that scares you, not death, and you're planning well to avoid as much pain as possible... I accept the inevitability of my own demise, I just dont know the when, where, or how. I want my gravestone to read"I knew this was going to happen!"
My biggest concern on the trail is ticks. Im more paranoid about lyme disease than bears, killers, lightning or anything else. Its always ticks!!! They're so darn tiny!!
go hike. use your head.you'll be fine.

god i know i went threw the smokies last year. they were out in mass force! such a pain...

SerenitySeeker
03-21-2011, 17:30
oh...ok I read the who what where when why and how...no one since 1996...

fredmugs
03-21-2011, 17:45
Tell them you're joining the Marine Corps instead.

LIhikers
03-21-2011, 18:32
........ they think im gonna die just like every time i go hiking........

Wait just a minute, are you telling me you really do die everytime you go hiking? :eek:

hikerboy57
03-21-2011, 18:34
........ they think im gonna die just like every time i go hiking........

Wait just a minute, are you telling me you really do die everytime you go hiking? :eek:
Interesting.... I do think Im reborn after a good hike though.

SassyWindsor
03-21-2011, 20:08
Take'em with you.

Papa D
03-21-2011, 21:03
most dangerous thing about the trail is the drive there and back - once you are there, you will be good. p/m me and I'll chat with them - I thru hiked at 18 and helped plan a successful SOBO thru hike for an 18 year old in ''08 (Stretch)

earlyriser26
03-21-2011, 21:45
People do die on the trail almost every year, but not from murder. Like others have said, very rare. Not in any particular order risk of death comes from heart attacks and suicide mostly. So if you are not looking to kill yourself and are not a heart attack candidate, you should be pretty safe. Sure, a few people have been hit by lighting, died of exposure, or have been killed in falls. as to your question of how to convince people the trail is safe, try giving them the facts. The ATC I belive can give you the statistics on causes of death on the trail. However, some people don't let facts get in the way of fear. My wife still thinks I am going to be eaten by a bear. When I tell her only 5 or 6 people have been killed by black bears in the eastern US since WW II it makes no difference.

sbhikes
03-21-2011, 22:15
What are you going to die from?


In 2006, 631,636 people died of heart disease. Heart disease caused 26% of deaths—more than one in every four—in the United States.
About 115 people die every day in vehicle crashes in the United States — one death every 13 minutes. In 2003 there were 6328000 car accidents in the US.
One person dies in the US every 13 minutes in a Car Accident- 115 killed
Over two-thirds of adults in the United States are overweight or obese, and over one-third are obese, according to data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) 2003–2006 and 2007–2008.
In 2007, diabetes was listed as the underlying cause on 71,382 death certificates and was listed as a contributing factor on an additional 160,022 death certificates. This means that diabetes contributed to a total of 231,404 deaths.
Adults with diabetes have heart disease death rates about 2 to 4 times higher than adults without diabetes.

For deaths that occur in the wilderness:


Seventy-eight mortalities occurred during the three years studied, resulting in an overall mortality rate of 0.26 deaths per 100,000 visits.
Men accounted for 78% of the deaths.
Heart disease, drowning and falls were the most common causes of death.

I found these stats around the web, mostly on NIH websites. Good luck.

Takijeep
03-21-2011, 22:39
I hiked about 400 miles on the AT last year and heard of only two deaths both what I like to call suicide by stupidity. One fella mixed drinking and drugging in a shelter and aspirated his own vomit, the other was a lady who tried to cross a bald in a thunderstorm! You do not really have a lot of experience in the wild at age 18, balance that with better judgement than these two and you will be at no more risk than the tens (hundreds) of thousands of other trail users. HYOH off-kilter, 2010/2011.

HiKen2011
03-21-2011, 22:40
i have plenty of outdoor experience and have been hiking threw the mountains tons of times. but my family lives under a giant cape of fear of everything that isn't outside of there little box there scared of. all they say is how people get killed out here on the trail every-year. witch i dont think is true at all and how they dont want me going cause they think im gonna die just like every time i go hiking. how do i convince them that this just simply is not the case. all they talk about is how im gonna disappear and get lost:rolleyes:. this happens everytime i go hiking but because i will be gone for so long this time there really freaking out. i have tried everything possible that i can think of. how do i convince them?

You may die out there.:eek:

Sierra Echo
03-21-2011, 23:00
If I had had your parents I would have ran away from home! LOL

Bronk
03-22-2011, 01:52
How do you convince them? You don't...you're a young guy...you'll waste the better part of your life if you allow other people's emotions to rule your life.

skooch
03-22-2011, 08:27
Cut the parents some slack. you are 18 and barely out of the womb in a parent's eyes. Please be patient with them. Envolve them in all your details to calm their fears and stay in extreme contact with them at first. Please let them pay for a SPOT and/or a PLB. You are courageous but not wise yet.

Slo-go'en
03-22-2011, 10:57
"..but because i will be gone for so long this time there really freaking out."

From that statement, I assume your wanting to do a thru-hike? Maybe "we're afraid you will die out there" is code for "we don't want to pay for the trip", but don't want to come right out and say it.

You'll need about $4,000 for a thru-hike - where is that money going to come from?

Walkintom
03-22-2011, 12:01
Sell the broken down car. Use the cash to buy a ticket on a bus, plane or train.

Go hike.

Send the folks a nice card every so often letting them know that you love them.

sherrill
03-22-2011, 12:13
Have them read this article that 10-K posted in another thread:

http://www.wbir.com/news/article/162...ith-his-family

sherrill
03-22-2011, 12:15
Damn cut and paste screwy:

http://www.wbir.com/news/article/162700/2/Missing-hiker-safe-reunited-with-his-family

johnnyblisters
03-22-2011, 13:54
Cut the cord. Its much easier to ask for forgiveness than permission...

Tilly
03-22-2011, 13:56
If you want to hike, you'll have to find your own way out there.

Indiana has Amtrak and Greyhound service, as well as air service.

If you can't afford your own way out there right now maybe you should work for awhile until you make enough money to do so. Then it won't matter what your parents want you to do.

LoneRidgeRunner
03-22-2011, 14:22
i have plenty of outdoor experience and have been hiking threw the mountains tons of times. but my family lives under a giant cape of fear of everything that isn't outside of there little box there scared of. all they say is how people get killed out here on the trail every-year. witch i dont think is true at all and how they dont want me going cause they think im gonna die just like every time i go hiking. how do i convince them that this just simply is not the case. all they talk about is how im gonna disappear and get lost:rolleyes:. this happens everytime i go hiking but because i will be gone for so long this time there really freaking out. i have tried everything possible that i can think of. how do i convince them?

You're 18 and considered a an adult..just tell em "I'm going, case closed." Excessively worrying Moms will never be convinced anyway...Just be sure you don't croak out there (you won't) and they won't have an argument the next time...They probably have seen too many "Bear slaps head off of guy just for sport" types of movies and maybe actually believed the movie "Deliverance." Enjoy your hike Dude.

lori
03-22-2011, 14:39
You may die out there.:eek:

Yep. The less you prepare, the more likely it is... of course, it's not that likely even if you don't prepare, but it's more likely.

You don't have to convince them of anything. But if you want to try and get at least partial support, I can think of a few things that might help. Things like taking map and compass classes, backpacking coursework (I bet there is an REI or something similar with a prep for the AT course, and if not there are books), or setting up a spreadsheet schedule for yourself complete with "call home" at regular intervals.

Sometimes organization and taking steps toward the goal are enough. Sometimes people just stick to the "you'll be eaten by a bear/madman/grue" line and don't budge. Either way, do what you need to do to reduce risks even further, work, save money, and keep doing shorter hikes to prepare. And don't get hurt or die on shorter hikes. Track record might also help.

Feral Bill
03-22-2011, 15:23
how do i convince family that im not going to die out there?

Go, hike, return alive. That should convine them.

If by some bizarre coincidence you do die, you won't be there to listen to the "I told you so".

OnlyJohn
03-22-2011, 16:37
Why don't you plan a section hike this summer and prove to them that you are not going to die? While I am sure you consider yourself an adult, your parents still see you as a boy. Instead of telling them that you are going to the woods for six months, plan a section hike or two and involve them in the planning process. The more your parents know the less they have to fear. When you return home after the section hikes, then try to ask them again for a through hike for 2012 or 2013. Realistically, unless you have already completed all of the pre-planning and purchasing of gear for a through hike, you are not ready for a through hike this year anyway. Use this year to prove to your parents that you are mature enough for a through hike.
Only John

mad4scrapping
03-23-2011, 15:55
The fact is, you could die out there. Or in a car accident. Or from cancer. And, you are probably no more likely to die on the trail than anywhere else.
It's dangerous to be a policeman or a fireman. But people still do that, don't they?
When people try to tell me it's dangerous to hike, I tell them I'd rather die on the trail than in a nursing home wearing a diaper. We all have to die sometime. The point is is to enjoy living by doing something you love to do.

tillepotro
03-26-2011, 17:37
There's no way to know. The only way to find out is to go. If you care about your family at all, make sure your will is in order before you go.

hikerboy57
03-26-2011, 17:55
just tell them that at some point you're going to die somewhere, why not somewhere spectacular.

weary
03-26-2011, 21:46
Maybe the easiest way to convince them is just by not dying when you're out there period.....
You beat me too it. I was going to say, "just come back alive."

weary
03-26-2011, 23:09
Yep. The less you prepare, the more likely it is... of course, it's not that likely even if you don't prepare, but it's more likely (to die)....
Really not true. Start now -- or later (April 15 is ideal) -- and using ordinary common sense you will be safe. Planning will ease your walk. It won't make it safer, unless you have serious physical, emotional, or mental handicaps.

gypsy97
03-27-2011, 01:27
I'd say just do it! Time for explaining, convincing, and arguing is over. I 2nd the motion to get a bus or train to Springer Mtn. Don't let fear mongering keep you from what will be the best pride of accomplishment in your life, and that is for however many miles you make it.

Tinker
03-27-2011, 19:27
It's much more dangerous to walk across the street in a busy metropolis. Plus: Draw a line along the length of the AT. Then draw a line through anywhere in the USA the same length. Chances are that there have been more murders on any other line in the time since the AT was completed.

Bonjour
03-27-2011, 22:05
"He who is not busy living is busy dying." Bob Dylan
Also, fast forward 20 years and you will see what they are talking about. They just want what is best for you. First listen and make sure they know you are hearing their point of view. Most people loosen up once they feel respected and heard. Have a good hike.

Rain Man
03-28-2011, 11:09
how do i convince family that im not going to die out there?

You can't! You ARE going to die out there! EVERYONE who goes into the woods hiking dies! Didn't you know that?!!!

Rain:sunMan

.

johnnyjohnson2043
04-01-2011, 10:44
Tell them to read "A Walk in the Woods" by Bill Bryson. If he and his partner didn't die on the trail then you won't...Of course they didn't finish the trail, but that's beside the point. I had the same problem. My folks kept on throwing 'what ifs' at me. I finally had to just tell them that I am an adult and this is something that I've been dreaming of for fifteen years. There are risks everywhere you go. Hell, crime rates along the AT are much lower than the national average and animal attacks are rare. They'll eventually get used to the idea.

Jim Adams
04-01-2011, 10:58
Tell them that it isn't wilderness, it isn't loaded with murderers, wild killing animals or dangerous situations. If the weather doesn't kill you then their biggest fear should be that you return as an alcoholic!

geek

sheepdog
04-01-2011, 12:27
Tell them that it isn't wilderness, it isn't loaded with murderers, wild killing animals or dangerous situations. If the weather doesn't kill you then their biggest fear should be that you return as an alcoholic!

geek
hahahahahahahahaha

double d
04-01-2011, 13:18
Its your hike, its your life, its your death, so...........tell you family that you love them and thank them for their concern, but..................its your hike and you're going on it, damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hikerboy57
04-01-2011, 13:44
Tell them not to read the "should I bring a gun" post

Blackbird
04-01-2011, 14:11
The only thing a Spot tracking device tells them is the last place you were before you got dismembered by the crazy hill people.

mountainboogey
04-01-2011, 14:13
Take them for a hike. Let them see exactly what is "out there" first hand. People are always afraid of what they know little about.

CowHead
04-02-2011, 22:05
Just tell them you won't do anything stupid like try to climb cliffs, swim alone, and chase after mommy bears with their cubs,

harryfred
04-02-2011, 22:34
You can't! You ARE going to die out there! EVERYONE who goes into the woods hiking dies! Didn't you know that?!!!

Rain:sunMan

.
Deep Man. But true.

harryfred
04-02-2011, 22:36
Just tell them you won't do anything stupid like try to climb cliffs, swim alone, and chase after mommy bears with their cubs,
But only if your are capable of lying,

harryfred
04-02-2011, 22:38
Tell them that it isn't wilderness, it isn't loaded with murderers, wild killing animals or dangerous situations. If the weather doesn't kill you then their biggest fear should be that you return as an alcoholic!

geek
So it is like the Navy.