View Full Version : Couples thru hike, anyone have some tips?
If you did the trail with your wife, girlfriend and or mistress give us some tips on tent space, packing, getting along... What ever you think we should know. Thanks in advance!
Start a month apart... :)
(Just kidding...)
A serious suggestion would be to carry your own stoves so you can cook at the same time, cook if you get separated, etc.
There are dozens of things - I'm sure you'll get some great tips.
If she forgets her mosquito head net, give her yours no matter what she says. Also, unless she's tiny distribute gear evenly. Don't get bags that zip together. Chances are you will hate sleeping with them zipped together. Surprise each other occasionally with a Jello No-bake CheeseCake when the nights start getting cold. On warmer evenings have treats that don't need to set like a cheesecake. Don't forget to make love along the trail. Nothing more fun then a quickie on a Fallen tree 2 feet from the trail. Just keep an eye on any other hikers. Never make rules for the other to follow. Bring dark chocolate.
Start a month apart... :)
.
Awesome.
Another suggestion learned from a couple who got engaged after meeting on PCT 07. She hiked slower then him, so she woke early and started hiking. He slept in, broke camp, and met her in the evening further down the trail. Perfectly let these two different paced hikers hike together and not get on each others nerves
Sasqwatch
03-23-2011, 17:35
My wife and I hiked 2.5 months worth of the AT for our honeymoon. We both have about the same stride so we didn't tend to drift apart throughout the day. We carried a two person Sierra Designs tent. A little heavy, but perfect for our needs. We also only brought one stove. I cooked her food first and then mine. We also had bags that zipped together, but rarely did. It's not that comfortable, but it is neat on a cold night when you're not that interested in sleeping right away. As for packing, you carry the heavier load, unless she's stronger than you. We split the camp chores pretty much down the middle and became a very well oiled hiking pair. It was wonderful and I'd trade just about anything to go back and do it again tomorrow. If you have any more specific questions, feel free to ask!
Tenderheart
03-23-2011, 17:38
Assure her, right from the start, that you neither built the trail nor had anything to do with routing it. Seriously, remember that she is hiking with girl muscles, not guy muscles. And practice patience, patience, patience. If all of this fails, start a month apart, like 10K suggested.
litefoot 2000
Assure her, right from the start, that you neither built the trail nor had anything to do with routing it.
litefoot 2000
This man speaks the words of gods.
Imagine the one individual in your life who is convinced that even though you're sitting in the same movie theater as they are, that you must somehow know more about the movie.
royalusa
03-23-2011, 18:06
Never make rules for the other to follow.
+1 on this one.
And along those same lines, don't speak for each other - example "it's just 8 more miles to the next shelter....we can do it." Learn to speak just for yourself and ask the other person their own opinion.
In the example of whether to push on to the next shelter or not, we both had to agree to it. There were times when I thought my spouse might be just going with the flow rather than giving honest feedback so sometimes we resorted to "one pebble in our fist means push on"; "two pebbles in our fist means we're done for the day" ... find a way to effectively communicate! Remember one of you is going to have a bad day, sore feet day, mentally or physically tiring day, etc and you got to tailor the hike that day to the "weakest link". Maine is not going anywhere...it'll still be there for you, but both of you have got to get there together (assuming that is your goal).
We hiked the entire trail together and we would not have traded it for anything in the world. Our strides are similar so we also hiked together all day long. That does not mean we are talking to each other all day long...heck, what can you say to each other after the first 100 steps!
Bottom line...LISTEN. Does it sound like the SO needs a day off? A break? More food or water? More miles/less miles? Faster pace/slower pace?
Out there in the wilderness, all you really have is each other. Remember that before you decide to pick a fight or complain about something.
royalusa
03-23-2011, 18:08
And as other threads have mentioned, you need to decide before you start your hike, what you will do if one of you needs/wants to get off the trail. Does the other person continue or get off the trail as well?
LIhikers
03-23-2011, 18:12
There's a book you need to read.
While I can't remember the title the authors are Randy Motz and Georgia Harris and I believe the ATC carries it in their on-line store. It's a good read and you'll be able to gleen plenty of info for hiking as a couple.
desertnomad
03-23-2011, 18:40
I'd only hike with either your wife, gf or mistress not all three! That would be a recipe for disaster so if you go this route make sure you can hike faster than all three.
My wife and I shared a stove and water treatment. I preferred to stay in our tarptent and my wife liked to stay in the shelter. We usually compromised and stayed in the shelters.....although sometimes I got to have the tent all to myself.
Be prepared for long periods of silence when you AREN"T mad at each other. This is an odd feeling. The plus side is that you usually have someone to talk to or someone to talk AT you. If you have an mp3 player make sure your headphones are on even when not listening to music that way you can ignore her and go "WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU".
Understand you are not going to like the same foods at the same time. I am the faster hiker and hiked right behind her the whole time but the plus side I got to stare at her butt instead of starring at the green tunnel in some section. I'll post more if I think of anything.
hikingshoes
03-23-2011, 18:47
Gf and i hike together and she is good for me because i want to push the miles to fast.She on the other hand,has her on pace which slows me down (in a good way).lol,i remember the first section hike we did and it was her first time EVER in a Shelter and it came up a Big T-storm,the wind was blowing like crazy,tree branches falling down on top of the shelter,and top it all off around 1am her pad had a hole in it and she didnt tell me until then.She didnt sleep at all that night.Once we got to the next shelter it was getting dark and only 3.2miles to the trailhead,so we talked it over and headed out,by the time we got to the trailhead we had knee pain that was killing her(me too).I was thinking she isnt going to hike with me any more,but she said she loves hiking/backpacking and we did our 2nd section hike 2wks later.I have to say she is my best friend and she is Awesome!!!Sorry,this is so long.HS
bigcranky
03-23-2011, 18:55
This is useful.
http://www.spiriteaglehome.com/THP_couples.html
There's a book you need to read.
While I can't remember the title the authors are Randy Motz and Georgia Harris and I believe the ATC carries it in their on-line store. It's a good read and you'll be able to gleen plenty of info for hiking as a couple.
Solemates: Lessons on Life, Love & Marriage from the Appalachian Train
Randy "Windtalker" Motz and Georgia "Mom" Harris.
A good read
The Solemates
03-24-2011, 20:06
yea they stole our name :)
I think to some degree every couple is a bit different. I've seen a lot of couples hiking always within practically arms reach of each other. My wife and I hike more like thru-hiker trail partners do, often going hours without seeing one another, then stopping for a break or a meal and reconnecting. So long as the trail intersections are unambiguous, we're happy to hike together and talk some, but then have a lot of solo hiking time too.
When one is a stronger hiker than the other, I think that apart from not pushing the pace, it's very helpful if the stronger one uses their surplus energy to do more than their share of work in camp --- fetching/treating water, heating water/cooking, setting up tent, whatever. Maybe I'm stating the obvious with that, but it's something that's easy for the stronger hiker to forget.
I would honestly agree to be two individuals hiking the trail together who just happen to be married (or a couple, whatever). Each person has their own stuff - share as little as possible. Chances are good that one of you will have to get off the trail and (of course you have to agree to this in advance) you don't let it mess up the other person's hike - the best case is that the person that has to get off (yellow blaze ahead or whatever) is sort of "support staff." VERY FEW couples can complete a thru hike together (heck, a week or two is challenging) - forget things like co-sleeper bags and so forth - do 2 hammocks, 2 alcohol stoves, etc. - hope this helps.
TheCheek
03-24-2011, 22:50
Come to an understanding on the following before you leave.
Flexibility is the most important characteristic of your mental states.
What is your desired balance of alone time/together time?
Are you going to hike together and if so how do you define "together"?
What will you do when one wants to quit and the other does not?
Figure out a good and fair weight sharing system, as well as understand it is best to divide and conquer camp chores.
Always keep communication lines open about plans... daily end point options, weekly, etc.
How often will your stanky selves see fit to shower and stay under a roof and in an actual bed?
As you can tell a lot of it is about practical expectation setting.
TheCheek
03-24-2011, 22:54
I should add fwiw my wife and I did a thru and had very few problems. I think anecdotal evidence suggests that if your relationship is consistently good at home it will be better on the trail and if it is dicey or outright bad at home it will be worse on the trail.
I have a Sierra Design Clip Flashlight 2. We can sleep in it okay, but not a lot of wiggle room. Do you all think we should get a tent we could share that has some head room? Or is it going to make a difference.
If you suggest a new tent, which one did you use with your lady or fella?
bigcranky
03-25-2011, 07:44
I have a Sierra Design Clip Flashlight 2. We can sleep in it okay, but not a lot of wiggle room. Do you all think we should get a tent we could share that has some head room? Or is it going to make a difference.
If you suggest a new tent, which one did you use with your lady or fella?
My wife and I have shared at least six different tents over the years. Maybe 8 or 9. Our current tent is the favorite by far -- the Six Moons Designs Lunar Duo. It has unbelievable interior room, two big doors, plenty of ventilation and views, great storm protection, and weighs only 2.5 pounds.
Having room to sit up, hang out, cook, repack gear, etc., is invaluable when hiking together.
Thrasher
03-25-2011, 08:08
I have a Sierra Design Clip Flashlight 2. We can sleep in it okay, but not a lot of wiggle room. Do you all think we should get a tent we could share that has some head room? Or is it going to make a difference.
If you suggest a new tent, which one did you use with your lady or fella?
You're current tent may be fine, but if you want a new tent for two people, I recommend the Six Moon Designs Lunar Duo. Awesome tent, lots of room and comfortable even in pouring rain. I do not recommend a footprint for it. Used it last year on our hike. The new Haven tarp and net tent look cool too, but not as roomy.
TheCheek
03-25-2011, 08:10
Plenty of good options. MSR hubba hubba is a very nice choice.
Land_Shark
03-25-2011, 08:27
Camp together but hike as individuals your partner does not need to hear the same BMW at night as they heard during the days hike. Bitch Moan and Wine For those that need to ask.
If you've got a stubborn man, learn how to steer the conversation ever so subtly so that he thinks it is his idea to do what you want to do. You can save a lot of time wandering around lost with this technique while he saves face not getting you lost. My man has learned over time that I'm pretty good at knowing the right way to go but he never would have learned it if I'd just shoved it in his face. I'm also happy to admit when I don't know the right way to go and then I make him feel good for finding the right way.
Also, if your man is struggling, offer to carry some of the shared gear. To help him save face, tell him you have room for the tent poles and apologize that you know it's just a tiny little part of the weight but you don't mind helping out. Our Lunar Duo, if you split the tent poles, pegs and tyvek sheet from the tent body is about half-and-half, but he doesn't realize it. He thinks he's carrying the larger half and that makes him feel better. I think he's figured it out by now, but he still likes to say he's carrying the heavier half. Makes him feel better.
Trail Dancer
03-25-2011, 10:17
My boyfriend and I hiked the AT in 2007 together and a year after the trail we got married. I could not have done the AT with any other person but him! We only had 2 days in 5 months that we really blew up at eachother. We tried to talk about everything and planned our days together. He had hiked the AT once before and I just kept telling him that with me it was going to be different. He knew from the start that he was not going to be able to push as fast or as far as he did on his first hike. We thru hiked in 5 months...his first hike was just over 4 months. We had a Big Anges seedhouse 2 (light weight tent) and he ended up carring all of it, he had a bigger backpack. I carried the pot, stove, filter and other common gear since he had the tent. I would recommend NOT sharing FOOD or a POT! We would be so hungry that it whould have caused a fight if we shared food. We rarely shared anything uless we were running low on food. There was another couple that was sharing food and when they got to Hot Springs they bought another food bag and pot so that they wouldn't argue over the last bite of dinner.
I have a trail journal if you want to read about our hike and we posted our gear. Or just shoot me any questions you have.
Ratman and Tumbler
03-25-2011, 11:45
My boyfriend and I completed a thru-hike in 2010. He is a stronger hiker than I am going uphill but I always knew that he was waiting on me at the top, I am stronger going down but I always turned around and made sure he was behind me and doing ok. We never left each other for hours at a time. That kinda defeats the purpose of starting a hike TOGETHER! We used the same Wal-mart sleeping bag and Wal-mart mat for the entire hike.We knew little about gear at the time. Everyone laughed at us and said we would never make it, but we grew closer and are still becoming closer everyday. But our hike was GREAT! If you love the one your with and enjoy each other then it will be great for you as well. Trust in the Lord and He will help you all the way. Talk to each other don't just assume that your partner agrees with you. It will all work out!! We loved it so much that we are planning another thru-hike in 2012. Best of luck to you both! God Bless!!!
My boyfriend and I hiked the AT in 2007 together and a year after the trail we got married. I could not have done the AT with any other person but him! We only had 2 days in 5 months that we really blew up at eachother. We tried to talk about everything and planned our days together. He had hiked the AT once before and I just kept telling him that with me it was going to be different. He knew from the start that he was not going to be able to push as fast or as far as he did on his first hike. We thru hiked in 5 months...his first hike was just over 4 months. We had a Big Anges seedhouse 2 (light weight tent) and he ended up carring all of it, he had a bigger backpack. I carried the pot, stove, filter and other common gear since he had the tent. I would recommend NOT sharing FOOD or a POT! We would be so hungry that it whould have caused a fight if we shared food. We rarely shared anything uless we were running low on food. There was another couple that was sharing food and when they got to Hot Springs they bought another food bag and pot so that they wouldn't argue over the last bite of dinner.
I have a trail journal if you want to read about our hike and we posted our gear. Or just shoot me any questions you have.
See now this is something we look forward to every day. What are we making for dinner. HYOH YMMV TTIWWOP
My wife and I have shared at least six different tents over the years. Maybe 8 or 9. Our current tent is the favorite by far -- the Six Moons Designs Lunar Duo. It has unbelievable interior room, two big doors, plenty of ventilation and views, great storm protection, and weighs only 2.5 pounds.
Having room to sit up, hang out, cook, repack gear, etc., is invaluable when hiking together.
That Tent looks sweet! After spending the past hour researching this tent, I am selling my Sierra Design and buying this. Thanks!
There is a very practical problem if your female partner is enthusiastic.
You can't wash a sleeping bag every couple of days. OTOH hauling out a rubber sheet or something would be way unromantic.
I suggest a thickish section of closed cell foam wrapped in a polyester pillowcase, "for comfort" (which is also very true). Whole thing gets washed discretely in the wash basin, or otherwise way away from water sources, every few days. An ultra-light killer, but romance is never without compromise.
my Gf got on with me at Port Clinton PA and headed north. I had started in Ga so was in a pretty good groove by then. She just jumped in and did a few short 8 mile days then a 12 and by a week we were back up to my previous pace. We only carried one stove, She brought back the tent I had sent home earlier. The only real shuffle we had to do was food and it wasn't that bad. It worked for us, we will always have that time together and now in our hectic lifes we can still have a laugh about the time on the Trail we had. I don't rememeber any aruguments really. It really depends on the personalities, any situation will work as long the couple is compatable anyway. We did split chores. When we hit camp she'd start puttting up the tent while I started dinner. Then I'd clean up and she'd make sure all the water bottles were full. Not that I'm a better cook but becasue I was more comfortable working the stove. Simple stuff will come to mean a lot. It would have been a completely different animal if we had both started in Ga and I really doubt we would have finished.
Smile a lot, don't talk too much, and enjoy are my only tips. The AT is great, hiking it with your best friend and partner is awesome.
earlyriser26
03-27-2011, 06:44
I have a Sierra Design Clip Flashlight 2. We can sleep in it okay, but not a lot of wiggle room. Do you all think we should get a tent we could share that has some head room? Or is it going to make a difference.
If you suggest a new tent, which one did you use with your lady or fella?
I had a SD clip flashlight. I found that it was too small just for one person. I can't imagine squeezing two people in it, even if it says it is a 2 person tent. With gear on a rainy day you will wish you got a full size tent. In October I spent 16 hours in rain storm in my 2 person tent. Pleny of room for me, gear, and to cook. My hiking partner had a small tent, which I call body condoms. He did not have much fun.