View Full Version : Calling All Hikers!

01-16-2005, 01:39
Every year there are approximately 0.625 bear attaks on innocent Appalachian Trail hikers. This is 0.625 bear attacks too many! WE MUST TAKE BACK THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL!
We hikers are forced to carry bear bags and string our foods in trees to keep our packs from disappearing the next day because of some villainous, law breaking bear. Hikers must hike the trails wary of being arbitrarily chased up a tree by some trecherous bear forced to watch helplessly as the slower hiker is mauled for a few scraps of food. We must end these bear attacks! WE MUST TAKE BACK THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL!
Instead of bear attacks, there will be people attacks! We will teach these bears that they can not bully us, that they can not take what they want whenever they want just because they are bigger and stronger than us. Because we are smarter than they are. We will chase these bears back into the backwoods where they belong! WE WILL TAKE BACK THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL!! WHOSE WITH ME!!!!

01-16-2005, 01:59
Just keep Lone Wolf off the trail and things will be safe!

01-16-2005, 03:10
Why don't we just put up a fence on both sides of the trail to keep the bears out. I'll call lowes and see if they could donate some fence

01-16-2005, 03:20
Another stellar topic. I don't mind jokes, but keep the intensity and frequency level down.

01-16-2005, 03:51
Another stellar topic. I don't mind jokes, but keep the intensity and frequency level down.
Speak for youself sourface. The more intense jokes are best.

01-16-2005, 06:33
~63% of one hiker is not too bad. What is that, a leg, both arms and part of an ear? ;)

01-16-2005, 13:48
63% of a bear; approximately a bear with two legs..

01-16-2005, 15:42
Perhaps snipers could be placed atop all the cell towers to watch the trails for bears.

01-18-2005, 11:29
I think we should think nonviolent. How about "take back the Trail" marches, er hikes. Keep all our food in the foot of our sleeping bags and practice passive resistance when the bears try to get it. If we all stick together the bad press will FORCE the bears to see reason!

Flash Hand
01-18-2005, 15:40
Am waiting for bear scared to reply this one.

Flash Hand :jump