View Full Version : In case of bear...
GracefulRoll
04-15-2011, 20:54
http://i.imgur.com/KtUV4.jpg
Bears totally think this way.
before I actually had bear encounters, I've had several, I told people not to worry at all about bears - they will turn tail and run away. This is what I'd like to believe - I'm not so sure though.
I read an ancient hunting book (i'm not a hunter). It said that most people you talk to tell you that a bear will run away but of course, those that would tell you differently are not with us - not quite fair.
thats also what I look like after to many beers
thats also what I look like after to many beers
After too many beers, the bears start to look a lot better too.
trailangelbronco
04-16-2011, 00:01
There are different kinds of bears. You have Black Bears. Most run, some have to be yelled at before they run. Those are the ones that are used to humans.
Come out west, you are in Grizz country and you wear a bell, carry spray and hope like hell that you don't walk up on momma with a cub, she will kill you...
Stir Fry
04-16-2011, 02:23
Two hiked hear a rackit outside the tent. When they look out they see a bear running down the hill at them. One starts putting on his shoes, the other says why are you doing that, you can't out run a bear. He looks over and says I dont need to out run the bear only you.
mweinstone
04-16-2011, 08:16
groll, are the two red arrows the projected direction of mauling?
Customer goes into a store to shop for a rifle that he would like to carry in bear country. Salesperson recommends a rifle but suggests that the sight (bump on the end of the barrel) be ground off nice and smooth. The customer doesn't understand. Why, in the world would I knock the sight off the gun. Salesperson replies, "this way, it won't hurt so much when the bear sticks that gun up your a*#.
GracefulRoll
04-16-2011, 09:04
groll, are the two red arrows the projected direction of mauling?
I think the arrows are guides as to how to look really smooth as you go to sleep. It helps if you have "Smooth Criminal" playing on an iPod.
GracefulRoll
04-16-2011, 09:07
There are different kinds of bears. You have Black Bears. Most run, some have to be yelled at before they run. Those are the ones that are used to humans.
Come out west, you are in Grizz country and you wear a bell, carry spray and hope like hell that you don't walk up on momma with a cub, she will kill you...
In that case, I'm taking a cowbell and two coconut shell halves and banging them together.
Old Hiker
04-18-2011, 06:53
In that case, I'm taking a cowbell and two coconut shell halves and banging them together.
You had better know the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow. Just sayin'.
Skidsteer
04-18-2011, 08:57
You had better know the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow. Just sayin'.
African or European?
Old Hiker
04-18-2011, 12:00
African or European?
What? I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
GracefulRoll
04-18-2011, 19:37
Well, at least I know my favorite color.
I read of a black bear mauling in Canada where the bear sauntered into the campsite at night, sat on the tent (and the man inside) and started chewing on his buttocks. Bears don't kill first, like mountain lions. They'll eat you alive.
Oh, I'm sorry. This is the humor forum?? :D ;)
Apparantly in the USA our black bears are big wusses - thankfully.:)
hikerboy57
04-18-2011, 19:58
enough about bears-what about spiders?What weapons should I carry? Will the above posture keep spiders away?which is more deadly=the brown recluse or the black widow?
keep fear alive.
GracefulRoll
04-19-2011, 09:48
With brown recluse and black widow spiders, you either kill them with fire or nuke them from space.
GracefulRoll
04-19-2011, 09:49
I read of a black bear mauling in Canada where the bear sauntered into the campsite at night, sat on the tent (and the man inside) and started chewing on his buttocks. Bears don't kill first, like mountain lions. They'll eat you alive.
Oh, I'm sorry. This is the humor forum?? :D ;)
Apparantly in the USA our black bears are big wusses - thankfully.:)
There had to be SOMETHING ill-tempered in Canada.
I want to know what to do about that big, gigantic, killer rabbit with the fangs and....
hikerboy57
04-19-2011, 10:08
I want to know what to do about that big, gigantic, killer rabbit with the fangs and....
Make sure you're hiking with one of the Knights who say "nee"
enough about bears-what about spiders?What weapons should I carry? Will the above posture keep spiders away?which is more deadly=the brown recluse or the black widow?
keep fear alive.
Fear not the spider, rather their cousin the lowly tick, especially Ixodes Scapularis :eek:.
hikerboy57
04-19-2011, 12:06
Fear not the spider, rather their cousin the lowly tick, especially Ixodes Scapularis :eek:.
we fear what we dont understand. I've come to understand the bear and the lowly tick, but I cant for the life of me understand spiders.
wvgrinder
04-19-2011, 12:15
You had better know the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow. Just sayin'.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzcLQRXW6B0 :D
GracefulRoll
04-19-2011, 22:13
Fear not the spider, rather their cousin the lowly tick, especially Ixodes Scapularis :eek:.
Some spiders = swift death, not likely to have anti-venom handy.
Some ticks = slow sickness, treatable with antibiotics.
I fear spiders.
Brown recluse spider: http://dermatology.cdlib.org/DOJvol5num2/special/recluse.html
LoneRidgeRunner
04-20-2011, 11:13
http://i.imgur.com/KtUV4.jpg
Bears totally think this way.
The bear "experts" who used to advise "playing dead" several years ago now say to NEVER play dead and ALWAYS fight like your life depends on it (it actually DOES) in the very unlikely event you are attacked by a Black Bear because IF a Black Bear attacks you it probably intends to eat you (because it's starving to death) and if you play dead you just made yourself an easy meal. Several years ago a starving Black Bear did attack, kill and partially eat a woman in the Smoky Mountains. The bear was tracked and killed and the only food found in its stomach was parts of the woman it had eaten. It was determined that the bear was a full grown male but only weighed 120 pounds as its body had consumed all its fat reserves and had actually began to burn muscle tissue.
LoneRidgeRunner
04-20-2011, 11:16
The bear "experts" who used to advise "playing dead" several years ago now say to NEVER play dead and ALWAYS fight like your life depends on it (it actually DOES) in the very unlikely event you are attacked by a Black Bear because IF a Black Bear attacks you it probably intends to eat you (because it's starving to death) and if you play dead you just made yourself an easy meal. Several years ago a starving Black Bear did attack, kill and partially eat a woman in the Smoky Mountains. The bear was tracked and killed and the only food found in its stomach was parts of the woman it had eaten. It was determined that the bear was a full grown male but only weighed 120 pounds as its body had consumed all its fat reserves and had actually began to burn muscle tissue.
Ooops just noticed this thread was in the humor section....:D
Brown recluse spider: http://dermatology.cdlib.org/DOJvol5num2/special/recluse.htmlI got bit once. My doctor was thrilled....Walked into the room "hmmm...Hi, bother some bug and get bit.......WHOHHHH!!!!! I only get to see a few of these a YEAR!!!" (he's all excited....I'm wondering what I'm dying of......). He then declares it to be about a 48 hour old brown recluse bite, proceeds to tell me all about how they can't bite and penetrate human skin unless their backs are on something. How they hide, don't spin webs.....Hands me a few prescriptions for antibiotics, steroids, etc and says I'll be fine in three days. I asked "what's this brown liquid running out of it". he replies "you really don't want to know". I later find out that is disolved HUMAN tissue......
Originally Posted by LoneRidgeRunner http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/wb_style/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1148561#post1148561)
The bear "experts" who used to advise "playing dead" several years ago now say to NEVER play dead and ALWAYS fight like your life depends on it (it actually DOES) in the very unlikely event you are attacked by a Black Bear because IF a Black Bear attacks you it probably intends to eat you (because it's starving to death) and if you play dead you just made yourself an easy meal. Several years ago a starving Black Bear did attack, kill and partially eat a woman in the Smoky Mountains. The bear was tracked and killed and the only food found in its stomach was parts of the woman it had eaten. It was determined that the bear was a full grown male but only weighed 120 pounds as its body had consumed all its fat reserves and had actually began to burn muscle tissue.
Ooops just noticed this thread was in the humor section....:D
http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/wb_style/statusicon/user_online.gif http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/wb_style/buttons/report.gif (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/report.php?p=1148563)
That's ok. It's just another reminder not to feed the bears :eek: