Accepting and Declining the Hitch [Archive]

oldfivetango

01-22-2005, 09:36

Ok People-
Count me in- hell yeah i'm hitching.Only thing about accepting a ride
that you feel comfortable about is getting the door closed or the tailgate up before the driver hits the gas.
The diplomacy i am looking for is how to politely decline a ride.Someone
said if you stand at the intersection of the trail and the road and if somebody stops that you don't think it best to ride with you can always say you are waiting for other hikers who will be awhile yet.(in my case it would come out something like this:"Sorry but i promised my pal and master of the martial arts Master Chopyintui that i would wait until he got here")
But what if you are thumbing or just walking and someone you don't feel
comfortable with happens to stop.How do you politely decline someone else's innocent offer of kindness?
Some of you may think i'm obsessing over this issue,and , maybe i am
but where i come from we are taught not to look "a gifthorse in the mouth"
if you get my drift here.And you can say alot down south anyway by prefixing with the phrase "Bless your heart"(see my primer for Southern Behavior posted elsewhere)
So far all I can come up with my own is:
Bless your heart-Is that alcohol i smell?
Bless your heart-Do you have pet names for all those tattoos?
Bless your heart-Where you two guys ever- cellmates?
Bless your heart-I declare, i'd bet money that your family tree don't fork
Bless your heart-Didn't i see you co-star in a movie with Ned Beatty & Burt Reynolds back in the 70's?
So,as a guy with an inquiring mind,I would like to know how you decline
a ride without the other party realizing that you just plain dont like their looks.I mean, how shallow is that?I mean,if you just had your sign or thumb out and somebody was nice enough to stop-how you gonna diplomatically tell them to "buzz off" at that point?
Inquiring minds want to know.Thanks.
Cheers to all,
Oldfivetango:-?

Lone Wolf

01-22-2005, 09:43

Accept any and all rides. Just keep your Glock locked and loaded and be ready to do business.

jeepcj258

01-22-2005, 10:11

I have to say that you are really the first person that I have heard of that has thought of declining a ride.
After walking for days, I seriously wonder if you would still think of turning down a FREE ride. I have to say that I seriously doubt that I would turn down such a ride.

God Bless
Seth

orangebug

01-22-2005, 10:34

More people are afraid of that Glock that Lone Wolf has locked and loaded, and won't stop to offer you a ride.

It is a good idea to open the door, check out the clothing status of the driver and where the bottle is. You will know instantly when you aren't comfortable with a ride. All you have to do is look at your watch, say "Thanks, but Bruiser wanted me to wait for him to catch up" and wave the ride away. Using an enfeminante voice usually gets them away quickly, unless you are trying to get the ride that Jack Lincoln turned down.

Tha Wookie

01-22-2005, 12:29

Tell them you forgot your camera at the last stream so you appreciate it but you just realized you have to go back.

I never say this myself, but I hear it works.
Turn down the ride if they're drunk. Usually they are. Just kidding.

steve hiker

01-22-2005, 15:55

Turn down the ride if he has a boner.

grrickar

01-22-2005, 16:15

I would only accept a ride in a pickup,that way you are in the back and not in the vehicle with the driver and/or passengers. If a car stops, and it looks suspect or you just don't feel comfortable, just tell them you are filthy and would rather wait for a pickup instead of getting their seats dirty. Chances are you will be dirty, and that is just as good of an excuse as any.

hikerjohnd

01-22-2005, 16:22

Thanks Oldfivetango - I have been contemplating this issue for quite some time now. Where I grew up hitching was strictly verboten, period. I know I will hitch to town and pray at the feet of the angels that offer me a ride, but I know that the instance will come up, where I am not comfortable (and alcohol is about the only reason I can think of - the cell mates thing usually has some good stories attached) and want to politely decline - so thank you for posting this and thanks to all of you who are responding with sound advice.

stickman

01-22-2005, 17:25

Don't assume you will be safer in the bed of a truck than in the cab. A truck bed is the worst place to be if the driver goes too fast, swerves, does quick starts and stops, hits bumps or potholes too fast, etc. I hitched a bit growing up in West Virginia, and it ain't so much the driver as the driving I'd worry about.

bearbait2k4

01-22-2005, 18:14

As Tha Wookie said, the best thing would be to tell them you forgot something. You can always shuffle around in your stuff before getting into the vehicle, to make it seem more believable. If you tell them that you're waiting for another hiker, they will sometimes wait with you.

It is rare for someone to decline a ride, after walking for a few days. Especially in a desolate area...but, you always have to trust your instincts. I've had a bad hitch and have known of a few others, and all of us had bad feelings about our rides beforehand. Your senses are more in tune after a few weeks, months, etc., out in the wilderness, so trust them.

steve hiker

01-22-2005, 20:17

Just be careful if you see real thick hair sticking out from under his hat and he's got this big barrel chest and legs and his fingernails are WAAAAAAAA too thick and long for the average person. And that strange big nose ... a dead giveaway. :eek:

Lone Wolf

01-22-2005, 20:24

bearbait2k4

01-22-2005, 20:38

Well, some of us are not man to begin with, lone wolf, and would rather not cause unneccessary confrontation. Sure, you could just flat out tell them that you wouldn't be comfortable with riding with them, and a normal person would understand. But, if your instincts are correct in being hesitant, and the person just happens to be a little nuts, then who's to say they won't try something?

To each his/her own, I guess. I don't see the correlation between getting bad vibes from a person and persons from the Mid. East.

Lone Wolf

01-22-2005, 20:39

It's profiling and judging no matter how you look at it.

wacocelt

01-22-2005, 20:53

If your thumb is out and a vehicle stops, put away your pride and predjudices, put on a smile and get the hell in.

Now, I'm not saying that if the alcohol fumes or smoke are are so stong that your eyes burn to get in the vehicle, but in that instance, be prepared to tell the truth, as hard as that is for most folks these days. Forget being PC, just politey and honestly say "Thanks very much for stopping, but I have issues with X". You may get a negative response, but atleast you won't be miserably second guessing yourself the whole ride, just the whole walk into town! :D

Also, just because the driver looks like an extra from Deliverance, doesn't mean that they're gonna make you squeal, it just means that you're in the mountains and there's folks what lives in them thar hills who are just as likely to be damn good people as the church going family which looks at you like a bag of crap on thier porch as they drive by.

steve hiker

01-22-2005, 21:34

Some people get their panties twisted over the damnedest things.

java

01-22-2005, 22:14

If your thumb is out and a vehicle stops, put away your pride and predjudices, put on a smile and get the hell in.
This, especially as a woman I have to disagree with. Trust your instincts, if it doesn't feel right, for WHATEVER reason, just decline.
Just because someone stops to pick you up doesn't mean you owe them the 'courtesy' of taking the ride. Period. Just ask them where they are going, and say that you're heading somewhere else, even if you're not. It's that simple, we shouldn't compromise our safety for fear of insulting a local.

rickb

01-22-2005, 22:17

I have it on good authority that there are hundreds of people up and down the trail with no known address, carrying a knife and duct tape.

So be careful out there!

Seriosuly-

You dont lie to be PC, you lie to protect yourself. Period.

TDale

01-22-2005, 23:07

I have it on good authority that there are hundreds of people up and down the trail with no known address, carrying a knife and duct tape.
Wellll, there went another keyboard to spewed coffee!

Percival

01-22-2005, 23:54

If your thumb is out and a vehicle stops, put away your pride and predjudices, put on a smile and get the hell in.
Easy for you to say, with your 18 inch beard, bad breath, and years of experience with that sidearm tucked under your waistband. But what if the little lady with no weapon other than her smile is offered a ride by someone like THIS:

http://www.destgulch.com/images/deliv05.jpg

wacocelt

01-23-2005, 01:15

Easy for you to say, with your 18 inch beard, bad breath, and years of experience with that sidearm tucked under your waistband.

You've got me confused with L.Wolf, I'm far worse than all that, just look up my wedding picture. ;)

I believe I may have been a bit flippant with my previous comment, as I was speaking to a male, not the general hiking populace. Ofcourse women should be very cautious who they accept rides with, though many times a good book may be hidden beneath a distasteful cover and vice versa. I would like to reaffirm my stand that, just because the person who stops may bathe less than a Thru Hiker, only have one tooth and the IQ of a goat, doesn't mean that they are a bad person intent upon devouring your soul. On the flip side, just because the next ride is an attractive middle aged couple driving a caddy doesn't mean they won't turn into your most horrible nightmare.

You dont lie to be PC, you lie to protect yourself. Period.

You lie because you're afraid to tell the truth. The only thing you need to be protected from is the fact that you believe you're protected by lying. I'll take an ugly, writhing truth over candy coated lies anyday.

Panama Red

01-23-2005, 02:42

with living in the south i find that you may actually be using the term bless your heart innappropriatley(hope i splet that right) it is only used when someone has done or said something as if they have a lower intelligence. for example: your wearing your gaiters on a zero day in town bless your heart.

Youngblood

01-23-2005, 10:51

I never turned a hitch down on my thru. It wasn't that I was always comfortable with the hitch I got, it was more that hitches weren't always that easy to come by. I was never scared of being assulted or robbed, it was more a little worried about driving accidents, as in the case of the guy with the open beer in his hand, six pack on the seat who was on his way home after a day of work... he drove fine and even offered me a beer. Or being in the back of a pickup with a dog, tools, old tire or two and going 70 mph down the road trying to hang on to... opps there isn't much to hang on to!

But all kidding aside, hitching is much different for different individuals. It is different depending on your age, physically size, sex, sexual preferences, mannerisms, whether you are solo, clothes you are wearing, what you have with you, etc. I figure if someone stops to pick you up and your instincts say no way am I getting into this vehicle, then the best course of action might simply be to tell the truth and say "Thanks, but no thanks, I changed my mind." and simply turn around and walk away. What are they going to do but shake their heads and drive off... do you think they are going to stop and argue? Over the years, before cell phones were common, I offered unsolicited rides/help to folks whose cars were broken down a few times and I knew it was sometimes awkward for them (especially the solo females) and the times they declined I understood and just continued on. Other times they realized they were in a bad spot, weighted their options and decided to take me up on my offer to drop them off up ahead at a more accomodating location, usually their place of work, a nearby friends house, their house, a garage, a service station or a public business/place with a phone. It shouldn't be a big deal to turn down an offer for a ride... if turns out to be, you were much better off not getting in the vehicle in the first place and to take your chances on the open roadway.

Youngblood

Dharma

01-23-2005, 11:25

I know, I know. I had good hitches for my whole hike and there's only one reason for that... I'm a guy. You see, if I was a girl, I'd have all sorts of presuppositions about the world being after me, preying on the weak, and life on the trail generally turning out like a mini-series on Lifetime. Yeah, there are women who don't have problems hitching, but that's just luck I tell you. It has nothing to do with them -- it really IS dangerous out there. And, you know, there's nothing I can do about it.

/maybe I'm just in a bad mood today
// maybe I just feel like bitchin' instead of offering support
/// maybe I really did offer support

Tha Wookie

01-23-2005, 14:12

It's profiling and judging no matter how you look at it.

It's not always about looking, wolf. Sometimes you can smell the cheap vodka as soon as they open the window. Man you really are turning liberal.

Lone Wolf

01-23-2005, 14:32

I've been eating lots of fruit and veggies the past few months. That could be the cause.

wacocelt

01-23-2005, 16:06

I've been eating lots of fruit and veggies the past few months. That could be the cause.

The carpenters CD and patchouli oil is what worries me LW, if you stopped and offered Jack Lincoln a ride he'd give you a 'piece' of his mind!

Tha Wookie

01-23-2005, 17:12

I've been eating lots of fruit and veggies the past few months. That could be the cause.
Makes sense to me.

SGT Rock

01-23-2005, 17:15

I've been eating lots of fruit and veggies the past few months. That could be the cause.

Get that man a steak with bacon on the top.

wacocelt

01-23-2005, 17:34

a steak with bacon on the top.

That's the way to get me into the car when I'm hiking, deliverance poster child or not.

oldfivetango

01-23-2005, 19:50

Do y'all get off a plane when you see a middle Eastern looking person sitting in a seat? If you're gonna hitch, be man enough to take the ride or tell the person you don't like his looks and will wait for someone else. Making up stories is chickens**t. Gee Lone Wolf-
I guess i am less of a man for wanting a diplomatic way to turn down
a ride without hurting someone's feelings? Just for the record though i would not hesitate to tell a drunk thanks but no thanks-if there is one thing i absolutely cant abide its a damn drunk.How's that for pc?
Cheers to all(except you drunk sob's)
Oldfivetango:bse

TDale

01-23-2005, 19:51

I've been eating lots of fruit and veggies the past few months. That could be the cause.
To Hardees with thee for a monsterburger!

danbsc

08-21-2006, 00:02

Hey are you going to [town a]? Oh, you arent, so im going to [town b], and I should be on the oher side of the road. Silly me!

Sly

08-21-2006, 08:24

Programbo

08-21-2006, 19:32

Looking at this from the opposite side:...This reminds me of some of the rides I used to get way back when and I always wondered what in the world the people who picked me up could have been thinking...At the time (Mid-70`s) I bore an uncanny resemblance to a fellow named Manson and usually always had a large bowie knife strapped to my side..And yet several times I was picked up by single women with a baby in the back seat...2 teenage girls...A grandmotherly looking woman...I appreciated the rides but at the same time I was thinking to myself..What are you nuts? I wouldn`t have picked me up...LOL.....I guess since I was close to the AT and had a packpack they figured I was ok

Jack Tarlin

08-21-2006, 19:36

It doesn't happen often, but it's perfectly OK to decline a ride if you don't feel right about it.

And you know what? If the driver gets weird or upset over your polite refusal, you know what?

It means your instincts were probably right in the first place.

TOW

08-21-2006, 19:47

Spock

08-21-2006, 20:25

Also, just because the driver looks like an extra from Deliverance, doesn't mean that they're gonna make you squeal,

I once got in a ratty pickup with a fusty, rusty looking character with a 5 day beard. Turned out to be a district judge who had just finished a section hike.

But, instincts matter. Trust them. If someone seems off, I say, "Now Brother, I need to know - Have you accepted Jeeez-us as your personal lord and savior." If that doesn't work, I get a little wide eyed and start in about Satan. Now THAT'LL run just about anyone off.

JoeHiker

08-22-2006, 12:36

There is no need to be overly polite and no need at ALL to give some sort of a reason. Simply say, "Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to stop for me and give me a ride but I've changed my mind. I think I'd prefer to walk."

That's it. If they try to convince you or ask why, just keep a smile on your face and say no thanks. There is no need to offer any sort of further explanation. If they are cool, they will understand and move on without any unpleasantness. If they are NOT cool, you should be glad you skipped the ride and who cares what they think?

HIKER7s

08-22-2006, 14:11

I feel the same way most o you do. Its the feeling you have in the gut-check when you are going to go or not. I turned down a ride once where there were two other houndy looking guys (I was a houndy looking then to probably, just coming off trail) in the backseat. they wanted me to ride in the passenger front. That type o situation isnt one I like as you give up your back. I have only had 2-3 rejections Ive had to give in like what must be at least 200 hitches.

go with your gut

fiddlehead

08-23-2006, 22:11

I once had this happen to me when i was the driver, so i started doing it myself when i was the hitchiker:
Just before getting in the car/truck, somewhat startle the guy/girl, by saying: Oh, do you have a gun? You should be able to tell if they are lying or not because of the suddeness of the question. They have always said no, so i didn't have to turn down the ride. Now if they say yeah,(perhaps with a smile), then you have to figure out how to decline. Maybe not so easy.??
I also have seen cops hassling and/or searching hitchikers, whenever i see this, i stop and give the poor guy a ride after the cops are done with him. (I figure if they pass the cops search, they are ok with me)

Remember: Hitchiking is like being a pubic hair on a toilet seat. Sooner or later you get pissed off.