View Full Version : re: AT thru hike social aspect
ok gonna go out on a limb on this one...
I have heard and read a lot how folks thru hiking North Bound on the AT meet all sorts of wonderful people and with the number of people encountered there is a good likely hood of "hooking up" with some one possibly even forming enduring friendships.
Does this happen for most? or just for a few of the more outgoing folks? I tend to be rather reserved and even timid(partly being a yankee and partly being just me!!!) and not one of your more outgoing guys. Now alone time in the wilderness I find comforting and delightful..there is the solitude and peace. Just sitting by a stream and pumping water while listening only to the birds and the gurgle of the stream is a real treat!!!
Yet one of the reasons, one of my motivations to thruhike the AT Is the social aspect and the oppurtunity to form some enduring friendships/relationships. Is that a legit reason to attempt a thru hike? Would I be likely to be dissapointed on this score?
I have done the Long Trail in Vermont and was struck by how UNSOCIAL that trail is at least once I got Off the AT section of it--ie the southern 100 miles.
I am interested in your feed back. Not so much those who make friends where ever they go...but especially from the less socially adept.. those who didn't make many friends in society (ie off trail life) yet DID (or did they?)on the trail.
How about those who got defeated in going the distance and got off the trail early...or very early? Was your experience still rewarding ..if so how so?
Is thru hiking the AT just a long, though very very strenuos vacation or is it much more...is it a real educational and enriching experience? if so how so?
thanks,
David
PS..someone please pass me a bow and arrow. I am gonna launch a zinger at this dancin bannana! Or should i just shoot it?
rocket04
01-26-2005, 22:26
I think it's inevitable to make some enduring friendships if you spend a significant amount of time with anybody (and you're not a complete dick). In many ways, how close to people you will become will depend on your hiking style. I hiked faster than average, so although I met a ton of people, the ones I kept in touch with are those I hiked the most with (by hiking I don't mean walking with, more end up at the same shelter at the end of the day). And the most I hiked with anybody was probably about a week. So you can imagine the kind of bond some people form when they hike together for months. And even if you don't form these lifelong friendships, trust me, you can enjoy the social part of the AT with conversations in the shelters, in towns, etc.
Bottomline, I was curious about this due to how shy I am, but already on the second day I saw that once you're out there with a bunch of people sharing a similar dream, you feel pretty comfortable. At least I did.
The Will
01-26-2005, 22:54
I am interested in your feed back. Not so much those who make friends where ever they go...but especially from the less socially adept.. those who didn't make many friends in society (ie off trail life) yet DID (or did they?)on the trail.
I wouldn't say that I meet those qualifications but I can offer my experience and perceptions.
The AT is a social trail. Even for the minority of us that hiked southbound, the social aspect was a large part of the experience. I find that, whatever form of backcountry travel I am engaged in, when ever I encounter a fellow in that environment the shared field of experience is nearly palpable. And much more so for the AT. I perceive a very close-knit community surrounding the AT that includes not only thru-hikers, but trail maintainers, trail angels and those who operate the hostels and other support services associated with the trail.
As far as being different or not "socially adept" as you put it, I would say this: nobody is normal, everybody is average. One of the things the late Keith Shaw (a trail legend who ran what was largely reputed to be one of the best stops along the AT...just in case you are new to the AT community) appreciated so much about his association with the trail was that people of all faiths, ethnicities and nativities sat down to eat at his table. There is opportunity for all to interact and forge relationships that endure beyond the hike.
Mountain Dew
01-27-2005, 00:11
"Hooking up on the trail" ... Unless it falls into your lap brother don't even brother. ( No pun intended ) Only 25% of thru-hikers are female. Variables that will decrease that % even further are as follows: You possibly not liking girls with leg/underarm hair, ones that are already taken, ones that start far ahead/behind you that you will never meet, ones you find not to your taste or you not to their taste, and the ones that are chased down the trail as if they were a smokey mountain bear and the male hikers were bear dogs. I use to refer to them as bear dogs all the time. Seeing them around females on the trail looks alot like seeing hikers at an AYCE. The look on their face is hilarious.
On a serious note.... I made numerous friends and still keep in good contact with the majority of them. If you ever read Bill Bryson's book , "A Walk in the Woods" then you'll understand why some people doubt the length of trail in which he hiked. You see, he mentions other hikers bu name about twice in the entire book. That's another story for another day...
hikerjohnd
01-27-2005, 00:23
Yet one of the reasons, one of my motivations to thruhike the AT Is the social aspect and the oppurtunity to form some enduring friendships/relationships.
So long as that is not your only, or primary, motivation for hiking, you will make friends that will last a lifetime. I do not believe you can go through an experience like this and not create those ties.
In the spirit of friendship, I would like to point out that I have refrained from using banannas.
--John
Footslogger
01-27-2005, 00:28
I think it falls into the "law of averages" category. Just more people starting northbound over the same few weeks.
'Slogger
AT 2003
Well, I leave for a 4-day hike tomorrow, and will be accompanied by 3 folks that I met during my hike in 2000. There are many folks that I met on the trail that I wish I'd stayed in touch with. My advice is to carry a small notebook and record the name, address and contact info for people you meet along the way. I kinda wish I'd taken more photos of folks too. People come and go on the trail, and that special person you met could suddenly disappear, not to be seen again on your hike.
Mountain Dew
01-27-2005, 00:38
Mows advice post :clap + When I got to Harpers Ferry I got many peoples info out of the photo book used to showcase that years class of attempting thru-hikers who get to Harpers Ferry. If this is foreign to you... At the ATC headquarters they will take your picture and add it to your years photo album along with any info you wish to put on the bottom of the polaroid. Goodtimes... :sun
NHhiker wrote:
...folks thru hiking North Bound on the AT meet all sorts of wonderful people and with the number of people encountered there is a good likely hood of "hooking up" with some one possibly even forming enduring friendships.
Most of my hiking in "04 was with hikers I had met during my thru-hike of '03. One who was unabe to finish in '03 invited me to join him when he returned to the Trail this past year. We have become good friends.
Also, a father and son I hiked with early on, came back and accompanied me on a trip out west to do the JMT. On trips east, I have visited them twice and we all stay in cantact via email. We also, have beome good friends.
Several of us keep in contact on the internet, sharing jokes and talking about "hooking up" on future hikes.
I personally know of a "couple" who met and developed their relationship on their thru-hike. They ended up hiking most of the Trail together.
One not so great story. I hiked with a really nice young lady from Canada. She had "fallen for" this handsome young section hiker around Neels Gap. They hiked together and he professed his deep affection for her and said he was going to quit his job and rejoin her up the Trail. He gave her a fake phone # and never returned. She handled it very well. In fact, she was able to find his correct phone # (I think with some detective work from a lunch credit card receipt)...called him...and his wife answered the phone. I heard this from her when we hiked together several days. She had a few down days but got over it and had a great hike.
Got to know many great people who I mentioned in one of my final entries in Trailjournals. In fact, if you're interested in what kind of friendships develop on the Trail, read through a few of the journals.
My belief is that the thru-hikers who hike just for the "social aspects" will not complete their thru-hike. You have to truly enjoy hiking itself if that makes any sense. And, I'd say I hiked the majority of the Trail alone, especially when one guy I was with got injured and left in Massachusetts.
TankHiker
01-27-2005, 11:28
It's an interesting world on the AT. I made better friendships in 6 months on the trail than I've made in 29 years in the "real world". I am also quite shy, but found it quite easy to make friends on the AT. It could be because I feel I have a lot more in common with AT folks than with office folks. But I think it's just because on the AT you are surrounded with people who are undergoing the same intense challenge that you are. There are also some safety issues, and hikers are always looking out for each other.
As far as "hooking up", the odds are stacked against the male thru-hikers. But it does happen. I had never really had a long-term relationship before I went on the trail. I met my girlfriend on the trail in '03, and we've been dating for 2 years now.
I made many awesome friends on the trail. That wasn't my purpose for going out there, but it was definitely one of my favorite aspects on thru-hiking.
-TANK
I am pretty quiet and withdrawn myself, hence the trailname "Mouse". Still I made a number of solid friendships and a few of them endured off the trail. I think being thrown into such a shared experience tends to generate friendships. Being quiet is almost a blessing. Being grating is the real friendship killer from what I saw.
As for relationships, that I cannot speak to.
Footslogger
01-27-2005, 12:44
Is thru hiking the AT just a long, though very very strenuos vacation or is it much more...is it a real educational and enriching experience? if so how so?=======================================
David ...The answer to this qestion is probably YES, depending on who you ask. It can be one, the other or BOTH.
Call me sick, but I personally do really like to hike and always have. Walking and hiking have been a great source of peace and solice for years. So, I started my thru-hike in 2003 from that perspective.
On the other hand, I'm also a relatively outgoing, inquisitive and open minded person. Therefore my hike was most certainly an educational and enriching experience.
At 55, I've had a rather full life, complete with travel all over the world both for business and pleasure. I knew the trail was going to be something special but I could have never anticipated the degree to which it would affect me. Despite all my adventures I can honestly say that hiking the AT from end to end ranks right up there with my proudest accomplisments.
I've always had good friends but those relationships developed over considerable time. I was amazed at the depth of friendship I established with the many hikers I met in 2003 over a 6 month period. Like Skeemer and Tank ...I stay in touch with many of them today, despite living way the hell out in Wyoming. I consider many of the hikers I met in 2003 to be somewhat of an extended family and they would be welcome in my home any day of the week.
Had I never hiked the AT, an event like Trail Days would be just that ...an event, and I would most likely be satisfied reading a recap of the weekend in a post on Whiteblaze. But, to the contrary, because of my experience I now look forward to returning to Damascus every year to be among hikers and to hopefully see some of the people I met along the way.
So yeah ...it's quite the ordeal and it can be whatever you make of it.
'Slogger
AT 2003
Slaughter
01-27-2005, 13:17
To throw in another 2 cents, from someone who only had the time to hike half the trail in '03 (and still longs for the chance to do a thruhike), even the three months I spent out there now count as some of the most meaningful moments of my life, and partially because of the people. I'd agree with Tank on the similarity between people who end up hiking the AT being an important factor in forming bonds, and the fact that you're out there in the woods together means that you get to know people a whole lot faster than you normally would. But it's also a little easier to meet people when you're all walking on the same trail, so the wallflowers have a little more of an advantage on the AT than they probably would elsewhere. Considering how important that experience has been for me, I've spent a lot of time thinking about the "whys" of the trail social aspect...and in the end I think I'm just thankful for it, and not just because I'm currently living with a wonderful man I met on the Trail. There's just a certain type of person who's still hiking after the first month or so, and those people would tend to get along with each other. Or so my theory goes. :)
Not to say that after Tank's and my input ..(ironic that we hiked together? And no, not dating each other)...you should expect to "hook up." I don't think any of us went out there looking for that, but if it happens it happens. All part of the AT, and being able to wake up each morning eager to see what the world will bring you down the path. :sun
"all part of the AT, and being able to wake up each morning eager to see what the world will bring you down the path"
I am not a particularly social beast, but God knows what marvels the Trail will bring your way. In no particular order, some wonders that the trail brought to me include:
A curious fox on top of Carter Dome (weekend trip)
A great display of the northern lghts at Baxter (cabin trip)
A moose at Rattle River Shelter (Winter Hike)
A bear in SNP (Thru hike)
&
The woman who I'd marry at Ethan Pond (solo loop trips 1990) :D
YMMV,
Rick B
Spirit Walker
01-27-2005, 14:56
I am an extremely shy person - but people who know me only in the trail community would probably have a hard time believing that. When I am amidst hikers, talking trail, I am completely comfortable and free to be myself. I don't worry about what others think of me, I can say what I think and know that it will be heard. The people you meet on the trail soon become friends because they share the same goal, and are experiencing the same things that you are. I found that if I met someone, and then met them again a week or a month later, it was like meeting an old friend. For a lot of us, when we are on a long hike, all of our protective emotional walls go down. It is happiness -- at least for me. After hiking, whenever I am in a gathering of other long distance hikers, even those I haven't met before, I feel a common bond with them. We all share stories and memories and conversation flows. On the trail you will meet a tremendously diverse group, and you soon find that it doesn't matter what their background is, what their age, experience level is -- all that matters is that you are both hiking to Katahdin and it is easy to become friends.
As others have said, the depth of the friendship depends on how long you spend together - if you are leapfrogging each other for four months, you will probably get to know each other fairly well. If you are hiking very fast or slow, you will have good conversations in passing, but there may not be any follow up. It doesn't really matter. I have found that even people I didn't know well on the trail have sometimes become good friends after the trail, because they understand where I have been, what I have seen, and who I am. The Gathering is a good place to get together with others who have walked the walk. And you can develop an intense friendship during the hike - which may or may not continue afterwards, depending on which ways your life takes you. Of those I knew on the AT, only one has continued long distance hiking besides me. I married him. For the rest, after the first few years of no face to face contact, the friendships lapsed -- but they were good while they lasted.
Then there are those really precious social moments:
Having dinner with four vultures on a Virginia overlook.
Having a love-lorn skunk try every way imaginable to get into my tent.
Walking inches away from a fawn gazing at me with her big wide eyes.
And who can EVER forget the mice!
I won't bore you with all the details, but even as somewhat of a shy person I made great friends out on the trail. Sure the relationships grew over time but most of my trailfriends I had started bonding with during the first week or two of the trail. The beginning is most crucial as everyone is a bit unsure and hesistant in what they are doing. A good time to bond.
To give you an idea of how relationships last, 6 os us 03' thru-hikers got together a couple weekends ago in the Shenendoahs, rented a cabin and went for a hike. It was an awesome weekend and I'm so glad we got together. Folks drove as far as 1100 miles just for a 3 day weekend.
I still talk to many other AT friends by email and phone regularly
rocket04
01-27-2005, 23:19
The beginning is most crucial as everyone is a bit unsure and hesistant in what they are doing. A good time to bond. That's a really good point. I remained in contact with the people I started with (just got an email from one of them actually!) even though for some of them we weren't really together all that long. But I thought about them throughout my entire hike and I feel that they were important in giving me that confidence early on because I saw the awesome people I'd be meeting along the way.
And then you always have the pleasure of seeing in these parts some people you shared a shelter with a time or two along the way. Case and point: Mouse was instrumental in making my pack feel 100% better by showing me a better way to adjust the suspension. And here she is! Thanks a bunch Mouse! (I hope it's the right Mouse...)