View Full Version : Rules for Recreational Hiking
Youngblood
03-15-2005, 12:21
Rule 1. There are no rules.
Rule 2. Don't be surprised when someone tells you to Shut the F--- Up if you try to tell them the rules for recreational hiking.
SGT Rock
03-15-2005, 12:36
How about a nice hot cup of shut the F____ up. :D
orangebug
03-15-2005, 12:54
Oh yeah? Then what about the right and wrong way to hold trekking poles? :bse
My only rule: If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
Rule 3. No short cutting switch backs
Rule 4. LNT
Rule 5. Be respectful of other hikers
Rule 6. Little Bear is always right. :D
Bloodroot
03-15-2005, 13:57
Rule 7. Bring your craziest mut with you.
Rule 8. Slackpacking is prohibited.
Rule 9. Muesser book is the bible.
;) It's all I could come up with ;)
Rule 10. Fat guys like me may not hike naked on the solstice. (see rule 5)
NICKTHEGREEK
03-15-2005, 14:15
Shave every morning.
Brush your teeth after every meal, when you wake up and before retiring
Bathe and change all your clothes daily
Use aftershave and deodorant
Even if no one is within a mile excuse yourself if you belch or pass gas.
Carry nothing either homemade or sold at Wally World
Consumption of Ramen is an affront to Nature's Bounty. Don't mess with Mother Nature.
The Old Fhart
03-15-2005, 14:16
I disrespect rule #10 and people come up to rub my stomach thinking I'm the happy Buddha. :D
peter_pan
03-15-2005, 15:19
HYOH.....hyoh !!!! "nuff said. :D
HYOH.....hyoh !!!! "nuff said. :D
Rule 11. You must not HYOH. You must hike my hike. :D
rule #12 ---- Don't pee on your stick!!!!!!!:eek:
rule #13 ---- Don't poop on your shovel!!!!!!!!!! :eek:
smokymtnsteve
03-15-2005, 18:42
#14 HYOH as long a U hike it correctly.
orangebug
03-15-2005, 18:42
Rule #14 - NEVER pee on the electric fence! :eek:
#14 HYOH as long a U hike it correctly.
ie: My Way
smokymtnsteve
03-15-2005, 18:53
Rule #14 - NEVER pee on the electric fence! :eek:
ah OB I know some folks that like that sort of thing
max patch
03-15-2005, 19:18
HYOH...just don't lie about it later.
Youngblood
03-15-2005, 19:54
HYOH...just don't lie about it later.
Max,
This is Hiking Humor, Rules for Recreational Hiking... please refer to rule #2 in post #2.
Youngblood
peter_pan
03-15-2005, 20:02
MOWGLI16,
BOHICA....rule 2 applies.
Pan
#14a. Never talk your little brother into peeing on the electric fence.
SGT Rock
03-15-2005, 20:09
#14a. Never talk your little brother into peeing on the electric fence.
Why not? :-?
MOWGLI16,
BOHICA....rule 2 applies.
Pan
Oh Peter. Honestly, you flatter me. :D
15. Have fun and "keep on truckin' " !!! :D
alanthealan
03-15-2005, 21:35
16. Never drink
17. if you do drink hid it in a manner to preserve the hiker image
18. If you fail to hide in a manner befitting a hiker blame it on blisters.
19. If you stagger and fall, fall in a manner that hides your pack and the fact you are a hiker.
#14a. Never talk your little brother into peeing on the electric fence.
I actually have an antique generator, that was used in the latter to early 1890-1900s, for medical stimulation.
Basically it's a crank, and two things that are clipped on you.
Think "field telephone torture", and that's basically what it is.
I talk my little brother (6' 225lb, not that kind of little!) into holding onto the ends of the clips, as he didn't know what it was, and I gave the handle a quick spin.
No lie, his hair stood straight up, and he lets out a howl of suprise, jumping straight up in the air, and collapses in a heap.
I nearly died laughing. :D
jaboobie
03-16-2005, 09:52
I actually have an antique generator, that was used in the latter to early 1890-1900s, for medical stimulation.
Basically it's a crank, and two things that are clipped on you.
Think "field telephone torture", and that's basically what it is.
I talk my little brother (6' 225lb, not that kind of little!) into holding onto the ends of the clips, as he didn't know what it was, and I gave the handle a quick spin.
No lie, his hair stood straight up, and he lets out a howl of suprise, jumping straight up in the air, and collapses in a heap.
I nearly died laughing. :D
I have one of those. They're fun at parties.
Shave every morning.
Brush your teeth after every meal, when you wake up and before retiring
Bathe and change all your clothes daily
Use aftershave and deodorant
Even if no one is within a mile excuse yourself if you belch or pass gas.
Carry nothing either homemade or sold at Wally World
Consumption of Ramen is an affront to Nature's Bounty. Don't mess with Mother Nature.
ARE YOU REALLY A HIKER?????????????????? :D
Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get there sometime.
Happygirl123
03-27-2005, 17:01
Rule 2. Don't be surprised when someone tells you to Shut the F--- Up if you try to tell them the rules for recreational hiking.
Don't swear-it is bad and mean and stupid :mad:
minnesotasmith
03-27-2005, 17:24
Rule #3 (roughly):
Your dog, kids, cell phone/beeper/pager/music device, tobacco or other drug habit, PMS episode, gear deficiency, lousy life in general, socialist/feminist political beliefs, poor physical conditioning, worse luck, or lack of pre-hike planning do not have the right to affect MY hike negatively in any way.
Blue Jay
03-27-2005, 18:08
Rule #3 (roughly):
Your dog, kids, cell phone/beeper/pager/music device, tobacco or other drug habit, PMS episode, gear deficiency, lousy life in general, socialist/feminist political beliefs, poor physical conditioning, worse luck, or lack of pre-hike planning do not have the right to affect MY hike negatively in any way.
That's it, I don't know where I'm going to get the kids or the PMS, but I'm thruing again in '06'.
Stoker53
03-27-2005, 19:58
Rule #15 - Never under any circumstances defecate when you are on the uphill side of the poop. Esp important on a steep slope where pooper has to hold on to vegetation to maintain the pooping posture. Hence the origin of the expression..... "$hit and fall back in it."
minnesotasmith
03-27-2005, 20:20
I take it you'll have no problem coming up with a dog to let loose on the AT, a cell phone/beeper/pager/music device, tobacco or other drug habit, gear deficiency, lousy life in general, socialist and/or feminist political beliefs, poor physical conditioning, worse luck, and lack of pre-hike planning before your repeat thru-hike, then? Practice makes perfect, I suppose... :datz ;)
saimyoji
03-27-2005, 21:02
Hell, all you have to do is grow a nice 'bushy' beard and MS will have words for ya! :jump
Blue Jay
03-27-2005, 22:02
I take it you'll have no problem coming up with a dog to let loose on the AT, a cell phone/beeper/pager/music device, tobacco or other drug habit, gear deficiency, lousy life in general, socialist and/or feminist political beliefs, poor physical conditioning, worse luck, and lack of pre-hike planning before your repeat thru-hike, then? Practice makes perfect, I suppose... :datz ;)
YES, finally you are correct. Most of those things (other than the dog) are easy to fake, as was your hiking experience. I truly enjoyed your gear list, the most extreme case of novice over planning/packing I've ever seen, even on the web, and I'm a go heavy guy.
Rain Man
03-27-2005, 22:10
Don't swear-it is bad and mean and stupid :mad:
Right you are. Especially about the stupid part.
Rain:sunMan
.
smokymtnsteve
03-27-2005, 22:12
ya know Bleu Jay that ole MS is REALLY BUTCH,,, :eek:
well on the internet he is any way :D
minnesotasmith
03-28-2005, 15:31
You mistook a list of gear options I was considering for a complete list. When I listed 3+ backpacks, it would make no sense to think I was considering taking all of them with me.
Since you apparently take a dislike to my disdain for socialists/liberals/feminists/radical environmentalists, perhaps these will give you some background why, presuming you can bring yourself to read it all the way through: http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/Printable.asp?ID=1226
Excerpt from above:
"Reactionary" was once almost a swear-word to the Left but, if a reactionary is someone who wants to put social and economic change into reverse gear and return the world to some sort of idealized and simpler past, the major reactionary movement in the Western world today is undoubtedly the "Green" movement. One sometimes gets the impression that only the entire elimination of the human race would satisfy the Greens in their desire to return the world to a pristine state. Certainly no concession to their aims ever seems enough to satisfy them.
The wish for nature conservation and reclamation has a long and honourable past -- including among its advocates most English-language poets from at least the 18th century onwards (Who can forget William Blake’s "dark Satanic mills"?). And no one has ever set aside a greater area for nature conservation than US Republican President Theodore Roosevelt did -- and that was roughly a century ago. And while there are still some environmental causes that represent undramatic, largely uncontroversial and sensible improvements to our quality of life and the prospects for our future (e.g. control of farmland degradation), many others are quite fanciful, extreme and ill-founded (as the statistician Lomborg, 2001, has shown at length). Modern-day "Greenies" go well beyond mere nature conservation in what they seek and are very strong and relentless advocates of change to practically all of our existing arrangements and systems. And that suits change-hungry and drama-hungry Leftists down to the ground. So therefore many "Reds" have in recent times become "Greens" and Red-Green alliances spring up with some frequency
The fact that nature conservation and reclamation has never previously in its long past attracted much Leftist attention does suggest that their recent interest in it lies not in the cause itself but rather in the drama and disruption that modern day Greenies create in pursuit of their goals. Many Green advocacy groups -- such as Greenpeace -- provide opportunity for drama and self-advertisement aplenty."
http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/e-sermons/scum.html
=========================================
You really sound unhappy, BJ. Try doing some hiking, as I am doing these days, and will do much more of in a few weeks (referring to my upcoming ~90 mile AT section hike, to be reprised along a different section a few weeks later).
===============================================
Smoky, someone who has a disease mostly contracted by whites in the U.S. by repeatedly engaging in promiscuous homosexual activity would do well to not go around calling others by names that imply that they are that type as well. It sounds a lot like wishing...
The Old Fhart
03-28-2005, 15:37
"And that suits change-hungry and drama-hungry Leftists down to the ground. So therefore many "Reds" have in recent times become "Greens" and Red-Green alliances spring up with some frequency."Hey, I know a lot of fans of the Red Green Show (http://www.redgreen.com/)! :D
Mountain Hippie
03-28-2005, 16:38
Rule one revisited
I have not been able to get past rule #1. If I follow rule #1 then I would have nothing else to say for there would be no other rules. On the other hand if I read a little more into rule #1 then it can not exist because it cancels itself out thus there could be other rules. So is no rule the rule or is the rule no rules? I await a ruling on this issue. :-?
smokymtnsteve
03-28-2005, 16:56
Smoky, someone who has a disease mostly contracted by whites in the U.S. by repeatedly engaging in promiscuous homosexual activity would do well to not go around calling others by names that imply that they are that type as well. It sounds a lot like wishing...
once again U R wrong MS ,,, someone who is so bothered by the thought certainly has unresolved issues. I mean speaking of reactionary (we know where your thoughts are MS ) ;) action -reaction hahaha!
Blue Jay
03-28-2005, 20:52
Smoky, someone who has a disease mostly contracted by whites in the U.S. by repeatedly engaging in promiscuous homosexual activity would do well to not go around calling others by names that imply that they are that type as well. It sounds a lot like wishing...
Your recent post truly illustrates what a pathetic human being you really are.
minnesotasmith
03-28-2005, 20:57
Being well-informed and applying logic to knowledge is pathetic. That definitely sounds like a leftist to me.
Smoky had made himself look a certain way by his own words. Reasonably presuming he had not thought of it, I suggested that he might not want to portray himself that way. It was a kindness, really...
SGT Rock
03-28-2005, 21:10
MS,
Knowing Smokymtnsteve that was totally uncalled for.
orangebug
03-28-2005, 21:21
May I remind folks just how valuable the Ignore List may be?
Smoky, someone who has a disease mostly contracted by whites in the U.S. by repeatedly engaging in promiscuous homosexual activity would do well to not go around calling others by names that imply that they are that type as well. It sounds a lot like wishing...
Minnesota has illustrated again the tendency of conservatives to not listen to facts, even publicly disclosed facts, but preconceived prejudices
That's interesting in terms of this list. A likely tragedy in the history of the nation.
Weary
The Old Fhart
03-28-2005, 21:32
SGT Rock,
Knowing minnesotasmith, what else would you expect from him?
I agree with SGT ROCK,
MS, those comments were completely uncalled for.
To joke about a deadly disease as you did in another thread, one can only wonder what causes you to say these things. I was hoping that post would have been deleted.
saimyoji
03-28-2005, 21:46
MS, you're way off base. Take it back, say sorry and lets move on. You do have some positive contributions to this site, why demean yourself with such statements?
My rule of thumb: write it, delete it, rethink it, then write it for real if thats how you feel. I've written and not sent thousands of emails, posts after re-thinking them. Give it a try.
smokymtnsteve
03-28-2005, 21:55
please don't delete it...I'm really thick-skined and can take ...I mean I'm a member of the Kincora HARD_CORE crew.
and I did "poke MS in the eye" :rolleyes:
(and here is my sick confession, I enjoyed it, was it good for U too MS?)
I haven't survived and thrived 23 years with HIV without being a little tough.
and HIV aside I'm still "more butch" than most 45 year american men...
Alligator
03-28-2005, 22:13
Oh MS probably just missed having his nice Hot Cup of Shut the **** Up this morning.
Hell, all you have to do is grow a nice 'bushy' beard and MS will have words for ya! :jump
I remember that thread, he had harsh words for the bearded folk. Seems like he loves to stir the pot, and also has a problem holding is tongue when tact would be advised. I know the type though, I bet if I met him on the trail he wouldn't say jack about my beard. As for the reaction to the benign jab from Smokymntsteve, what a way to communicate with your fellow trail enthusiasts. Way to go scooter.
MS, you're way off base. Take it back, say sorry and lets move on. You do have some positive contributions to this site, why demean yourself with such statements?
"Positive contributions"? Did I miss something???
saimyoji
03-28-2005, 23:06
Yeah, I'm not gonna sift through all of MS's posts to find some that you'll find positive, but I know I've read some that I found helpful, non-offensive. Have a look. I'm not defending his all-around abrasiveness, just saying he's had some positive contributions.
Thank goodness we don't play this way on the trail? I wanted to smile before I went to bed and what do I find on this thread? I looked and I saw and I wasn't amused. My bad.
I have a thought though, silly as it might be, that any one of us would stop and help anyone else on the trail, no matter who they are. Am I right?
I think some of us need to take a hike! I'm in!
SGT Rock
03-29-2005, 04:48
Yes, MS has had some very good posts in the past about things.
Rule #15 - Never under any circumstances defecate when you are on the uphill side of the poop. Esp important on a steep slope where pooper has to hold on to vegetation to maintain the pooping posture. Hence the origin of the expression..... "$hit and fall back in it."
Rule #15a
Never take a dump in the hood of your hooded coveralls.
Rule 15 coralary: Always look before you poop.
Yes, MS has had some very good posts in the past about things.
Yeah, I suppose you're right. Sometimes its hard for me to wade through the MS BS in order to find something worthwhile. My patience also runs thin for those (regardless of their political bent) who opine endlessly about a trail that they have barely set foot on.
minnesotasmith
03-29-2005, 09:20
If someone's well enough to post, they're well enough to expect and handle a retort when they initiate an unpleasant exchange on a thread. Having an illness (one that is mostly behaviorally-contracted at that, as lung cancer and liver cirrhosis are) is just that; it doesn't make someone a saint or a hero. I believe that smoky's sickness should be considered a private matter, one that shouldn't be brought up (by him or others) on WB 1/10th as much as it has been lately.
Deepdiver
03-29-2005, 09:46
Thank goodness we don't play this way on the trail? I wanted to smile before I went to bed and what do I find on this thread? I looked and I saw and I wasn't amused. My bad.
I have a thought though, silly as it might be, that any one of us would stop and help anyone else on the trail, no matter who they are. Am I right?
I think some of us need to take a hike! I'm in!
I believe you are right here.... Ever fight with your brothers and sisters? You can, but if anyone else messes with them, look out!