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Half Note
05-03-2012, 13:47
So I found out yesterday that my best friend is getting married (which means I'm stuck as best man) right smack dab in the middle of my planned hike. This worries me some. I obviously don't want to miss the wedding but the idea of having the will power to get back on the trail as well as the additional funding it's going to take to fly back and forth seems very daunting.

I'm sure there have been some WBers with similar issues. How did you manage to get back to the trail if you did? How do you plan for something like this not knowing where you'll be?

Any advice is appreciated, thanks.

BrianLe
05-03-2012, 13:58
The wedding is (or I presume soon will be) scheduled, so if it's a can't-miss thing you make your best guess of where you're likely to be on the trail in the right time frame and book a plane ticket. When you get close to time, you hitchhike to where you can catch a bus to your airport. Reverse on the way back.

While a person cannot (and IMO should not try) to "schedule" a thru-hike, you can look at spreadsheets and the like to get a sense for where you're likely to be in general at different points in time. If it's the AT that you're hiking, you could look here for example:
http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/content.php?184-AT-Hiking-Rates-Section-by-Section-%28AT-Data-and-Schedules%29

Live_for_hiking
05-03-2012, 13:59
I'd share your fears with the bride, groom, friends and family and have them remind you of the importance to get back on the trail. Nothing wrong with saying,"I'll be there but I'll need your support, help and maybe a kick in the ass to make sure I get back on the trail."

The big questions in my mind are:

1. Will the bride and groom make you shave your beard?
2. How will you get fitted for a tux if you lose a ton of weight?
3. I imagine the logistics planning a bachelor party from the trail would be interesting?
4. Will new trail buddies be welcome? ... with their extra hair as well?

Inquiring minds want to know!

All joking aside, I've read books and journals where life obligations pull people away from the trail. Most return to finish their thru-hike.

Moose2001
05-03-2012, 14:04
All joking aside, I've read books and journals where life obligations pull people away from the trail. Most return to finish their thru-hike.

Actually, in my experience most don't! Some do come back but in most cases once you're gone, you're gone for good.

Half Note
05-03-2012, 14:09
Appearance won't be a problem. I'm not too concerned about that, neither is the friend. Telling his ball and chain right now...getting some blow back already. She'll just have to deal with it.

Didn't even think about the bachelor party. Cripes. I'm sure I can manage though if I plan in advance.

Thanks for the tips!

Would still like to hear about getting back and forth. Would Amtrak be the least expensive route? It just seems so difficult without knowing where I'll be.

Cookerhiker
05-03-2012, 14:10
Good points, but....[

QUOTE=Live_for_hiking;1284274]....4. Will new trail buddies be welcome? ... with their extra hair as well?....[/QUOTE]

:-?

Blissful
05-03-2012, 14:13
I know many that take a leave of absence to attend a wedding. Just start earlier, plan for the expense and get back out there at your own pace when you return (don't plan to play catch up with buddies then either, you'll meet new ones)

Blissful
05-03-2012, 14:15
Actually, in my experience most don't! Some do come back but in most cases once you're gone, you're gone for good.

Not at all, esp if its a planned departure. Most get back on. Those that don't likely had an unplanned one. Still I did it twice with injuries, one with family and with work...and got back on

If you have the mental will to do this hike you will make it work out.

Spokes
05-03-2012, 14:50
Yes, it's a conundrum...... How will you look wearing a tux in a full beard?

You'll also most likely be the only one throwing Ramen Noodles on the Bride and Groom instead of rice as they leave the chapel.

Tipi Walter
05-03-2012, 15:00
Nothing should come between you and backpacking except a death in the family or jail time. What's your priority?

WIAPilot
05-03-2012, 15:38
Nothing should come between you and backpacking except a death in the family or jail time. What's your priority?

Agreed! Send a really nice gift instead! :)

WingedMonkey
05-03-2012, 15:41
Plan your hike, let him plan his wedding. One of you probably won't make it.

Cookerhiker
05-03-2012, 15:42
Yes, it's a conundrum...... How will you look wearing a tux in a full beard?

Pavarotti (http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://top-people.starmedia.com/tmp/swotti/cacheBHVJAWFUBYBWYXZHCM90DGK%3DUGVVCGXLLVBLB3BSZQ% 3D%3D/imgLuciano%2520Pavarotti3.jpg&imgrefurl=http://top-people.starmedia.com/music/luciano-pavarotti_17777.html&h=2000&w=1616&sz=241&tbnid=2wEOpDV-ZiWH_M:&tbnh=109&tbnw=88&zoom=1&docid=htLJwlUHr_q07M&hl=en&sa=X&ei=ld6iT7OeB-aC2wX2uannCA&ved=0CGoQ9QEwCQ&dur=2598) did it



You'll also most likely be the only one throwing Ramen Noodles on the Bride and Groom instead of rice as they leave the chapel.

:D
:D

flemdawg1
05-03-2012, 15:47
Nothing should come between you and backpacking except a death in the family or jail time. What's your priority?


Agreed! Send a really nice gift instead! :)

Absolutely disagree. Friends, especially your BEST FRIEND, is more important than finishing your hike a week or two earlier. The trail will always be there.

Blue Jay
05-03-2012, 15:54
"Friends" and family who have never been sick WILL get sick during thrus. "Friends" and family who have lived together for decades WILL schedule marriges during thrus. Most wait until you've been out for a month to get maximum reswults. People will try to stop you by doing what ever it taqkes.

jesse
05-03-2012, 16:26
Wait till after the wedding and go SOBO?

Derek81pci
05-03-2012, 16:46
I'd have to say sorry, currently working on a life dream. If it matters that much to him/them, they wouldn't mind either flying you back or excusing your absence. I don't know many of my friends that would leave the trail midway through and have the will power or cash to get back on. If you must go, Greyhound will be your absolute cheapest route. Yes, it sucks, but it's cheap and you will eventually get there.

The Old Chief
05-03-2012, 17:11
A real "good friend" will understand your desire to stay on the Trail and the extra expenses you will incur if you leave and return to the Trail for the wedding. I assume that your planned time to hike the Trail was known to your friend before he and the bride made the date to get married. I don't think you should alter your current hike. If your friendship will be lost if you don't go and the friendship is more important, by all means go home and worry about the Trail later.

Datto
05-03-2012, 17:18
I did two off-trail ventures on my AT thru-hike. One was a wedding in Maine when I was in Pennsylvania (I wasn't in the wedding party, only a visitor) and the other was a round-a-bout excursion to Washington DC. On the wedding someone else made the plans and travel arrangements and I just showed up and arrived, then came back to the Trail so it was a fun time. I actually looked forward to that wedding in Maine for something interesting to do as a diversion. By the way, there's a picture of me someplace putting on my suit pants outside the motel in Maine -- I didn't even have to take the buckled up belt off to get my pants on -- they slipped right on up to my waist overtop of my hiking garb with the belt of my suit pants still buckled because I was so thin.

For the Washington, DC excursion it was a timed event so wherever I was I had to get to DC in order to arrive at a specified date and time (which I did but that was an entire series of very lucky events occurring that made it happen and to get back to the Trail from where I'd left the Trail out in the middle of the boondocks of Virginia).

I'd told my friends I'd meet them in Damascus at 7:00pm on the Friday night of Trail Days -- I was five minutes early (or was it five minutes late? I think it was five minutes early). My friends were sitting right where I'd told them I'd meet them in Damascus.

I suggest you go ahead and see if it can happen. It's amazing how much things work out well for you when you're thru-hiking the AT.


Datto

Cookerhiker
05-03-2012, 17:40
.... I obviously don't want to miss the wedding...

Some of you apparently missed this. The OP is not asking whether he should go or not, just advice on how to make it work.

WIAPilot
05-03-2012, 18:32
Absolutely disagree. Friends, especially your BEST FRIEND, is more important than finishing your hike a week or two earlier. The trail will always be there.

Tell your best friend that you'll be there for his NEXT wedding! :sun

BabySue
05-03-2012, 20:29
Amtrak can be quite pricey. Chech out www.megabus.com.

fiddlehead
05-03-2012, 20:40
There are so many unexpected things that will happen on a thru-hike.
This is just another blowdown on the trail.
Deal with it.
Experienced hikers don't get upset when they see a blowdown, they just immedietly look for a way around it.

GritsNgreens
05-03-2012, 21:16
It's too easy man!! My solution is a Win-Win Just convince them to get married at the point you'll be on the trail :cool:, think of it...beautiful scenery, complete with best man, free catering by the fire of chili and potatoes au gratin, plenty of people, perfume of Ode de Deet, showered in trail mix upon leaving, and the honeymoon? Just pitch a tent, like I said...win-win...Every girls dream ain't it?

mirabela
05-03-2012, 21:47
Your mileage may vary, but I really liked having some interruptions to break up my hike. I got off for a few days for a wedding in southern VA, took three or four days to go back to Damascus (from Waynesboro) for Trail Days, took a long weekend off the trail at a friend's place in suburban NJ, took a long July 4th weekend with my parents in VT, spent a few days off with friends in Gorham, and took layovers in Oquossoc and again in Stratton, ME.

Personally, I found these to be very valuable opportunities to rest and recharge. They were tools toward my successful completion, not obstacles.

Miner
05-03-2012, 23:46
Whats more of a once in a lifetime event? Your thru-hike (think you'll do another)? Or your friends wedding (is the brides or groom's parents divorced)? Your choice.

From what I've observed. People who have to be in a specific place at a specific time and have to hike on a specific schedule are unhappy compared to those who can do what they want. This is true whether you are meeting up with friends to hike with them for a short while or going home temporarily for a wedding or the like. They often find themselves having to push hard at some point higher miles then they want and often complaining about the time pressure they are operating under since that is the last thing they wanted out on the trail as that was the sort of thing they wanted to leave behind for awhile. They hated seperating from friends they made on the trail and would have liked to finish with. And the problem of once being off the trail for a while, its mentally harder to get back on (a few days is one thing, but a week or longer becomes more difficult as time passes). Most hikers I've talked to that did something like that would not schedule time to hike with friends or family again and would prefer not to get off for a wedding ever again. Let your friend know just what a favor you are really doing for him because he probably is thinking its like coming home from a Florida vacation early.

My advice on making it work: You should make a conservative shedule on a spreadsheet (ie. don't over estimate the daily mileage) and stick with it even when you feel like hiking faster or farther. Don't join a group for more then a short time who may temp you to speed up or take extra zeros and put you behind. This will increase your chances of arriving on time where you need to get off. If you can take Amtrak or a bus instead of flying, you won't need to book as far ahead of time so you can remain more flexible on your scheduled departure point. Give yourself plenty of time off before the wedding (so that you have some play in your schedule and so you can do all the things a best man needs to do). Remember to mention at the wedding reception during your speach that you specifically got off the AT for the weddding and will be looking for a ride back to the trail as soon as the reception is over. *hint* ;)

ChinMusic
05-04-2012, 00:54
My kids have known my plan for a 2013 thru for years. My son gets married THIS summer. My daughter has been with her SO for like 8 years. I told her if you pick 2013 Daddy is gonna have a thick beard.

Praha4
05-04-2012, 00:58
the cheapest transportation to/from Texas to the AT would most likely by Greyhound bus. I rode the Greyhound twice to/from Florida in 2010 to the AT.

As I said after, there should be another website called "Bus Journals" for all the drama and adventure at the Greyhound bus stations and on the bus. Like being in the front row at Jerry Springer show.

Half Note
05-04-2012, 02:02
Thanks for all the advice y'all. I'll just make the most out of both situations and play it by ear I suppose.

Johnny Thunder
05-04-2012, 03:05
leaving the trail for a long weekend isn't such a huge deal...don't be dissuaded from going if you really want to. here are a few suggestions for how to make the trip home quick, fun, and painless.

first off, no one wants the bachelor party to be the night before the wedding. have you ever seen a groom have to wear makeup to cover up his black eye? i have. it's not pretty. don't be suckered into the whole, "but friends/cousins are coming from out of town so the bachelor party MUST be the night before to include everyone." schedule the party for a weekend comfortably before your departure for your through. i've done this twice. plan on casual drinks out after the rehearsal dinner since this is honestly all the grooms i've seen have ever really been up for anyway.

ask the groom/bride to lock-in the clothing needs of the bridal party before you leave for your hike. it's not that much pressure. if you're wearing a suit then you're fine...buy a suit. if you're renting a tux go in and get fitted before you leave to hike. tell the tailor that you might end up coming back a few jacket sizes smaller. see what they say.

stash whatever clothes you'll need (including dressy clothes for the rehearsal) with someone who lives near the event. if it's not near your home you can pack them in a box to be mailed to the hotel as the date gets closer. consider that you're not going to want to wear your hiker clothes around so pack some casual stuff, too.

don't travel with your pack or gear if you can avoid it. find a safe place (hostel, outfitter, etc) to leave your pack/bag/tent and anything else you won't need while home. this saves the inevitable lost bag or security confiscation.

plan your travel so you arrive on the day before the rehearsal dinner and leave on the afternoon after the wedding. unless you want more time at home then make it short and sweet. arriving a day early should be enough time to avoid any weather or itinerary related snafu's.

fly. don't ride the bus. don't take a train. if you're from texas you don't want to waste the 3 days each way that greyhound's going to take you. book in advance and get something cheap. here's how to do it:

first, hike a 6 month hike. even a 5 month hike. it's easier to plan all this logistically, plus it's more fun than a 4 month hike.

if you plan and hike a 6 month hike then fly out of the following airports.

weeks 2-6 - asheville.

weeks 7-12 dc

weeks 13 - 20 nyc/ewr

weeks 21 - 24 boston/bangor (don't bother...it's probably the hardest to fly from this section without major travel to/from the airport)

getting to asheville from franklin north to damascus is a breeze. by the time you pass damascus and until you get to duncannon, getting into dc will be easy enough. you'll figure it out. you walked there from georgia. getting to new york from duncannon through rutland is easy peasy. you can even get there from hanover (using a few connections). after that the options become sketch.

sure, there are some more convenient regional airports which might get you home quicker since they're closer to the trail. tri-cities in bristol comes to mind. or the airport in marion. harrisburg, pa. the problem with booking in/out of these areas is that the trail window in which they're convenient is relatively small and the number of public transport options into these small regional cities are not as great as getting into boston/new york/dc. the only reason i included asheville at the beginning of the hike is b/c of the way that the trail curves around the city and not b/c it has some big, amazing public transport infrastructure.

good luck. i've traveled home for stuff. timed my hikes around weddings. even worked a consulting job that sent me out to california and back while on a long hike. if you set your priorities you can do it.

and if she wants you to shave, be a man and shave. it's her wedding pictures. beards grow back.

jesse
05-04-2012, 06:02
Amtrak can be quite pricey. Chech out www.megabus.com (http://www.megabus.com).

I recommend Megabus. I took it from New Orleans to Atlanta last month. They have wifi and outlets to keep your phone charged. Make sure you carry enough food and water for the entire trip. They may not stop where you can get those things.

T.S.Kobzol
05-04-2012, 07:04
Bingo. When I'm out - I'm out. Weddings suck anyway :-) :banana



Nothing should come between you and backpacking except a death in the family or jail time. What's your priority?

T.S.Kobzol
05-04-2012, 07:07
So true. It's nice to know I'm not the only one with this paranoia :D


"Friends" and family who have never been sick WILL get sick during thrus. "Friends" and family who have lived together for decades WILL schedule marriges during thrus. Most wait until you've been out for a month to get maximum reswults. People will try to stop you by doing what ever it taqkes.

T.S.Kobzol
05-04-2012, 07:11
oh boy - well... let me see... you hit the nearest town on your through hike and you get onto a transportation vehicle(s) that will take you to the wedding's location. You go to the wedding, pig out on the entrees and then you get onto transportation vehicle(s) to get back to the town to continue your through hike.




Some of you apparently missed this. The OP is not asking whether he should go or not, just advice on how to make it work.

T.S.Kobzol
05-04-2012, 07:15
seriously though - a through hike takes almost half a year. There are so many possibilities during that time that you might be home before the wedding even starts.

Ender
05-04-2012, 08:56
Here's my advice;
First, make a general estimate of where you'll be on the trail when the wedding happens. Find the nearest airport and buy in advance a round trip ticket. Don't go the bus route or train route... too easy to back out of. Also, the more expensive plane ticket will be harder to justify backing out of.

Second, when you get back on the trail, take it slow and easy! Seriously. Even a short time away from the trail will weaken your hiking stamina. And those first three days back out on the trail are going to be harder physically, and more important, mentally. You'll be missing friends, the hiking will be tough, you'll be questioning why you came back out. So take it easy, cut your mileage way down till you get back into to trail mentally and physically. Plan a special treat for yourself back on the trail... bourbon for camp at night, or soda if you don't drink, or something along those lines.

People will tell you that if it's your dream you'll only want to be out on the trail. This. Is. Nonsense. Don't expect your dream to overpower basic human emotions of missing friends and family, physically hurting, being exhausted, etc. Especially those first few days back on the trail. Once out for a week or so, you'll get back into it and be feeling much, much better about hiking.

Just my $0.02. YMMV.

Tom Murphy
05-04-2012, 09:55
Did he know about your thru-hike plans BEFORE he picked the weddding date?

If so, I wouldn't feel any obiligation to be there, although I might still crash it in full thru-hiker glory. Open bar and AYCE?

Cookerhiker
05-04-2012, 10:06
One other possibility to consider: renting a car and driving home. It's a haul but will probably take less time than bus. Flying would probably only be cheaper if you know where you'll be and make the reservations in advance. I don't recall seeing where you'll be when the wedding occurs but you can rent a car in Roanoke or in the DC area after taking the train from Harpers Ferry. With a rental car, you'll also have more flexibility once you're back in TX.

It's at least worth looking into i.e pricing it out.

Live_for_hiking
05-04-2012, 16:54
Bingo. When I'm out - I'm out. Weddings suck anyway :-) :banana

Actually, extended family weddings are terrible. Non-family weddings have tons of potential! :cool:

ChinMusic
05-04-2012, 17:25
I think "Hikus Interruptus" is a better thread title.

Papa D
05-04-2012, 20:22
I've never been a big fan of weddings - - they are obligatory ceremonies run by busy-body mothers and grandparents full of little old people and lots of perfume. My mother in law was planning a big one, so my wife and I happily eloped - we've been happily married for almost 12 years. Then she planned (the one we would have received) for my brother in law - very formal, churchy, (almost comically, the typical big All-American wedding). That marriage made it about 2 years. My wife and I sure do enjoy secretly gloating about the contrast.

To be honest, I actually almost always enjoy funerals (with the exception of a tragic young death or similar) - - the best ones are short on ceremony and long on drinking and socializing - - by and large, the people at funerals want to be there to celebrate a life.

I see no problem in briefly interrupting your thru-hike for a weekend wedding though - - just think of it as a long, out of the way re-supply, shower, and town day. Do take a shower but unless you really want to, I'd avoid shaving or a haircut.

Datto
05-04-2012, 20:58
I would not recommend Greyhound for that long of a trip to get to Texas from the AT if that's where you're going. Even as a laid back thru-hiker.

Well, unless you want to join the circus for a couple of days on your way to Texas and then again, a different circus on the way back to the AT.

Sometime I am going to write about my Greyhound trip to the CDT.


Datto

Datto
05-04-2012, 21:17
I once hosted a beautiful tall blonde woman in a cool Cadillac with a Jacuzzi in the back when traveling to the only five diamond French cuisine restaurant in the world. Champagne, luxurious diamonds, silver place settings and courteous doormen.

My trip to the CDT on Greyhound was none of that.


Datto