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Focus
05-12-2005, 11:06
Here is my dilemma. I began planning to hike the AT last march with a start date of March/April of 05. There were only two things that could mess up my plans, a new job opportunity or a women. Well, I have had both of them. First, I left the old job in Apr, started the new one in May. The new job is not anything like I expected and I find myself sitting in a cube all day staring at the computer thinking about the AT and what my heart wants me to be doing. Career wise, I SHOULD stay here a year and then hike next march but that is another year wasted. Second, I met my girl on July 4 last year and we have been together ever since. She initially knew of my possible plans to hike the AT in March and it was not an issue then. She is being supportive now about it, but I know in her heart she does not want me to leave for that long. Basically, I am looking for some feedback to my current situation. Should I stay or go? Go with my gut or my brain? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

kentucky99
05-12-2005, 11:22
do what your heart dictates remember the trail is always their but our youth is not and well its a soul seeking search and journey hiking,with all that the trail.:banana ky

Henny
05-12-2005, 11:23
Go with your gut, women have a pattern of being supportive in the beginning, but changing their mind later, Dude you will regret not doing the trail, 10 years from now if you decided not to do it you will look back and kick yourself, if she loves ya she will support you if she doesnt well you have to ask yourself if it was worth it to begin with.
Good Luck

chknfngrs
05-12-2005, 11:31
You can always get a job, and you can almost always find a woman. Likewise, given relatively good health and spirits you can almost always hike the trail. But, you can't always have everything fall in the order you want them to, and in this case it's important to remember what you want to do and how you want to go about them. Sometimes it OK to be selfish, or selfless.

That said, I say quit the job, hike the trail, and bring the girl along. Come back, get a new job (w/o cubicle) and continue life.

rgarling
05-12-2005, 11:46
You are a little late for a thru (South to North) this year. Why not do a section with your GF this fall when the leaves change colors?

Lilred
05-12-2005, 11:49
GO!! start in Maine and head south.

shades of blue
05-12-2005, 12:26
Focus...
I'm curious as to why another year at this job will be better for the career. I agree that it doesn't look good on a resume to begin a job for a few weeks, and then quit it. Will it be easier for you to leave this job next year? Sometimes we have to make choices as to what is important in our lives. The trail will be there, and hopefully you will be in good condition to hike it when you are ready. If the job really isn't where you want to be, maybe a soul searching hike on the AT is what you need to get your "focus". Only you can really make that decision. As for the girlfriend. If she says she is supportive, then take her at her word. You can use this trip to see her desire for your spiritual development, and she can see how dedicated you are to keeping in touch, and including her as much as possible. It would even be better if she could hike with you some.

In the end, you have to find your own path in this. We can't always do what makes us happy, but sometimes we can find a compromise that works. Good luck.

BookBurner
05-12-2005, 12:52
For god's sake man, quit your cruddy job and hit the trail! When talking to future employers, never mention your current job. Just leave it off your resume entirely and pretend that you left your former job in April to prepare for a southbound thru-hike of the AT. Future employers never need to know about your past two months in the cube. It doesn't sound like much of a career stepping stone that you would want to talk about anyway. It's a long time until next spring for you to waist away in your hole thinking about what could have been.

As for the lady, if she can't deal with you leaving for five months now, when is it ever going to get easier for her? Will she be more supportive next year, in five years, in ten years? No way! As the relationship grows, both of you will become more dependant upon one another and more hesitant to leave. If you all are destined to be together forever, this year is the best time to leave. If you all are not destined to be togethor, you don't want to blow a thru-hike opportunity on love lost.

You're 29 man, life is wonderful, and full of nothing but opportunities that you cannot begin to imagine. Go jump in and see where it leads you.

-- BookBurner
www.enlightenedthruhiker.com

You want to make God laugh? Tell him you have a plan!

generoll
05-12-2005, 12:55
since you have only been at this job for a short time, if you leave now and hike the gap in employment will be insignificant. just don't even bother listing it. if you have the funds and the time to hike it now then go. i waited too long and now i have to settle for section hiking it when i can get a week off now and then. by the time i have the time to do a thru hike i'm afraid i won't have the knees to do a thru hike.

Focus
05-12-2005, 13:34
Thanks everyone for your great posts, I really appreciate your advice. Basically, I am thinking of starting out in HF and going north then flopping back down to HF and going south. If all goes well, and I can make up my confused mind, I would plan to start around June 6. Now I just have to make a decision. Any additional thoughts are appreciated.

MOWGLI
05-12-2005, 13:42
If all goes well, and I can make up my confused mind, I would plan to start around June 6. Now I just have to make a decision. Any additional thoughts are appreciated.

Yeah, I've got an idea. Start on June 4th! It's National Trails Day! What better time to start a long distance hike! :)

RockyTrail
05-12-2005, 14:14
Interesting choice, June 6th....that's D-Day (1944).
The Allies started on that day, you can too!

Pencil Pusher
05-12-2005, 14:59
Keep the job and the woman and postpone this another year. Or two or ten. Wanderlust can be just as powerful as the temptation for women. You've only got enough blood to think with one head at a time...

gr8fulyankee
05-12-2005, 15:24
1.) quit job
2.) keep the girl
3.) Hike the trail

If she loves ya she'll be around when you get back, if not.. how much longer would the girlfriend have lasted after you grew to resent her for making you stick around and that she wouldn't have.

Mags
05-12-2005, 15:26
Carefully observe the way your heart draws you and then choose

that way with all your strength. --Hasidic saying

So which way is your heart drawing you? What is the most important thing in your life right now?

Travel, adventure, mountain views?

The love and companionship of somewho who cares about you?

A job that satisfies you on many levels?

None of these choice are good or bad. They just are.

What is good or bad is making a choice that is not right for you.

Only *YOU* know what is really important to you at this stage in your life. Don't make a decision because "it seems like the right thing to do". Make a decision because it is the right thing to do for you!

Yeah..it is not a concrete answer. But life seldom has cut and dry answers.

gr8fulyankee
05-12-2005, 15:35
Where is Dr Phil when we really need him~!

TakeABreak
05-12-2005, 16:58
Focus, as everyone else has said, do what is in your heart. And if the girl friend is not supportive now, what is going to be like later in life when you want to do something else. Does she want to be your partner in life or your boss or ball & chain.

Do what you really want to do, yeah there may be some regrets either way, but you will regret even more if you do not do it.

A-Train
05-12-2005, 17:20
The most wise thing Wingfoot always says is: you should only be on the trail if its the most important thing to you at the time. If not, you should go do what it. This is 100% true.

Happypappy
05-12-2005, 18:04
Here is my dilemma. I began planning to hike the AT last march with a start date of March/April of 05. There were only two things that could mess up my plans, a new job opportunity or a women. Well, I have had both of them. First, I left the old job in Apr, started the new one in May. The new job is not anything like I expected and I find myself sitting in a cube all day staring at the computer thinking about the AT and what my heart wants me to be doing. Career wise, I SHOULD stay here a year and then hike next march but that is another year wasted. Second, I met my girl on July 4 last year and we have been together ever since. She initially knew of my possible plans to hike the AT in March and it was not an issue then. She is being supportive now about it, but I know in her heart she does not want me to leave for that long. Basically, I am looking for some feedback to my current situation. Should I stay or go? Go with my gut or my brain? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
A long time ago, I was asking myself the very same questions. The girl smiled and said, "But honey, I don't want to be without you." Then the draft board came calling, and next thing I know, I am suddenly a 52 year old grandpappy wondering what ever happened to my plans and dreams. Now I sit and dream and say, "One day." Ah well, let's just hope that I am healthy enough when I retire, cause I plan on hitting the trail immediately following my last day of work.

whitedove
05-12-2005, 19:24
Hey Focus,

As far as your relationship if she was and still is supportive that is awesome. Has she said or done something that makes you think she doesn't want you to go or is it what you may be thinking is in her heart? If you two have good communication and trust there shouldn't be a problem, especially if you include her as much as possible and like someone else said maybe she can hike some with you. Yes it will be hard for you to be gone for that long but if she is the one for you, if she loves you she will understand your dream and want it for you.


For the job situation, if you are not happy there, I would go ahead and say adios and hit the trail. Too many times we are defined by our careers, the money and we look back and regret many things because of it. As far as I know this is the only life we have, live it!

I hope things work out for you whatever you decide. Best of luck!!

RITBlake
05-12-2005, 20:55
Man Up!

Hike Now, Ask Questions Later!

UCONNMike
05-12-2005, 20:59
She'll break your heart sooner or later, mine is doing it to me now, and i regret making plans to take weekend breaks and a week off half way through, and calling her and this and that. Granted the trail isnt the reason for our troubles, but she came around about the trail, and she understood what i had to do. If you wanna hike it make a go, man up!

SavageLlama
05-12-2005, 23:13
To paraphrase the great philosopher and ski film guru Warren Miller:


If you don't hike this year...

you'll be another year older when you do.

neo
05-13-2005, 00:01
go with your gut,follow your dream,i started my dream may 2001,with a section hike,i cant quit my job,i would be a dead beat dad and in jail for not paying child support,but section hiking is my dream,from may 2001 to may 2004 i have hiked from amicola falls in ga to dalton mass,in sept this year i will hike from dalton mass to gorham nh.what will make u happy,we all have choices to make,so do what your heart says to do:cool: neo

Ridge
05-13-2005, 00:38
Get her involved. Have her post your journal entries into a website. Involve her with mail drops, etc. Have her hike with you on at least some of the trail. hikerwife

Ridge
05-13-2005, 00:40
Have her get involved with the hike by transcribing journal entries. Posting to a journal on the web. Maybe get her to hike some with you. hikerwife

neo
05-13-2005, 01:00
Have her get involved with the hike by transcribing journal entries. Posting to a journal on the web. Maybe get her to hike some with you. hikerwife

way to go hiker wife,:cool: neo

Ender
05-13-2005, 12:37
Have her get involved with the hike by transcribing journal entries. Posting to a journal on the web. Maybe get her to hike some with you. hikerwife

Very true. Get her involved, and that way she'll have an even more personal attachment to your hike.

As for the job... well, a year worth of more money saved up won't hurt, but then again, you may put it off again in a year. Might as well just go.

Of course, that's what I did this past time, and it took me months to get a new job that actually paid something worthwhile. Ugh. Still though, totally worth it.

icedancer
05-13-2005, 12:56
Beyond hikerwife's great ideas, remember that you are approaching prime time for fatherhood. If the girlfriend becomes wife you will not want to miss out supporting her through prenancy and being a dad. Go now before your life gets really complicated!

glessed
05-13-2005, 13:47
I second the following comment (Made earlier):

"I say quit the job, hike the trail, and bring the girl along. Come back, get a new job (w/o cubicle) and continue life."

d'shadow
05-16-2005, 15:26
This is an important decision which can effect the rest of your life. If she is the right woman for you then she will support and encourage you to follow your dreams. You are a life long hiker and will want to go hiking without her on many occasions. She needs to be confortable and accept this way of life you want to lead or your relationship will end up costing one or both of you the ability to fulfill your dreams.
She needs to believe in you and trust that you will come back to her or she is not the right woman for you. It is important for a woman to have her own projects and interests and you yours, you are partners in life and should be able to each stand on your own as individuals within your relationship.
When you are ready, hike the trail, follow your dreams, make your life an adventure.

bearbait2k4
05-16-2005, 17:37
If you really want to hike, then hike. You are essentially just putting off work - - or are just "borrowing" some retirement time.

As for the girlfriend, this kind of stuff will happen. In a perfect world, she would be 100% understanding, and wouldn't have a problem being separated from you for as long as it takes. Actually, in a perfect world, she'd probably go with you. This isn't a perfect world, though. Your friends can probably stand to let go of you for 5-6 months, as with your family, so she can most likely find it in her heart to do the same. She may not like it, but we all have to plan around things that are not really under our control. If she is the thing that keeps you from going to do something you REALLY want to do, you will have that between you, anyway.