View Full Version : Worst Meal You've Ever Cooked On the Trail
Train Wreck
12-14-2012, 12:16
When you finish drooling over the thread discussing the best meal you've ever fixed on a hiking trip, let's give the other side equal time. What is the WORST meal you've ever had on the trail? Why?
Mine, be "Liptons Chicken Alfredo and Broccoli on Rice with Pistachio Instant Pudding Mix- all cooked together as a one pot meal. I had got rid of the bulky packaging at home and labeled the outsides of the cheese packet and the instant pudding packet. My husband was in too much of a hurry and just dumped all the contents of both packets in over the boiled rice & chicken. The rice instantly turned a startling shade of green. We had nothing else because it was the last night of our hike, so we tried to eat the putrid mess anyway. No way! Just too disgusting. I can still taste it after all these years!
Seatbelt
12-14-2012, 12:24
I was sitting at Stover Creek shelter and, wanting to get a real early start, I quickly fired up the stove at first lite and heated some water for my rice/mix breakfast--only it wasn't just water....I had mixed some lemonade powder in my water the nite before and forgot. That was some awful tasting rice. I soon after went to clear water bottles!
FarmerChef
12-14-2012, 12:26
LOL that sounds awful.
My worst meal. hmmmm.... I haven't had anything quite as dramatic as train wreck but I have had my critics. The worst was a rice a roni I made from scratch. I didn't realize that adding pepper at the beginning of the cook cycle would have any different effect than when I cook at home. Well, I was wrong. Boy was that dinner spicy. It was all we had to eat for dinner and it took a good 20 minutes to cook it so the little ones begrudgingly forced it down. I like spicy so I didn't mind :D
MDSection12
12-14-2012, 12:33
Back when I was using Mountain House meals I always forgot that the breakfast omelette ones use less water than the rest... I think I did it three times, and each time ending up eating egg soup. That was awful.
max patch
12-14-2012, 12:48
Well, this meal didn't get eaten...
One morning I started to boil water for my oatmeal and coffee. When the fireball happened I realized I was boiling white gas instead of water.
Not mine personally, but saw it cooked. Disgusting, not eaten.
Mountain House Beef Stew made with fruit punch instead of plain water.
On a long stretch, at a dry camp, without resupply for 9 days. We relented and gave the guy a new dinner and some water to start over.
Lesson learned, NEVER mix all your water into flavored drinks.
coolness
12-14-2012, 13:00
I brought along a can of Treet on one of my early hikes. I tried to slice and fry it for breakfast......It had no fat whatsoever and the texture was like soft pencil erasers. Gross. Never going to buy that again......
coach lou
12-14-2012, 13:22
Before I got my cooking merit badge, it was Pop Tarts, space food sticks, and Dinty Moore Beef stew on the trail for me, but after I got out of the USMC, I tried to get my best friend to pack with me. On our second trip out, a winter trip from Salisbury, to Jug end, my friend didn't want to share meals....he was going to do it himself. He took some snacks, but took 7 small steaks for meals. On the third day they were Green, he thru them out..........good thing I overpack:rolleyes:
Drybones
12-14-2012, 13:58
Scambled eggs and bacon bits...didn't think the dog was going to eat them, yuk!
Starchild
12-14-2012, 14:07
Tossup between a can of spam* I found in a lean too and pancakes that were burnt on the outside and raw in the inside.
*Perhaps I just had a spoiled piece of spam as some people claim spam taste good, but since that time I have never really wanted to ever try that again.
Feral Bill
12-14-2012, 14:40
I was co-leading a school group on a four day hike. The second dinner was mac and cheese, the kind that needs added margarine. No margarine in the food supply. Result: disgusting fluorescent orange glop. Fortunately(?) we were distracted by a kid who never, ever shut up.
atmilkman
12-14-2012, 15:03
Well, this meal didn't get eaten...
One morning I started to boil water for my oatmeal and coffee. When the fireball happened I realized I was boiling white gas instead of water.Damn. I'll bet that was a rude awakening.
wcgornto
12-14-2012, 17:40
Things I ate on teh trail that I wouldn't eat anywhere else: Vienna Sausage
Given to me at a shelter by a man at a shelter out for an overnight with his son. I scarfed them down like gold. Would never, ever consider eating them without a thru hiker appetite.
CarlZ993
12-14-2012, 18:46
Well, this meal didn't get eaten...
One morning I started to boil water for my oatmeal and coffee. When the fireball happened I realized I was boiling white gas instead of water.
Wow! A 'Homer Simpson' fireball. Bet that was something to see.
coolness
12-14-2012, 18:55
Fried Spam is awesome
Many Moons
12-14-2012, 18:57
Things I ate on teh trail that I wouldn't eat anywhere else: Vienna Sausage
Given to me at a shelter by a man at a shelter out for an overnight with his son. I scarfed them down like gold. Would never, ever consider eating them without a thru hiker appetite.
Not bad on a salteen cracker and some texas pete hot sauce, but i'm a redneck! Hike On!!!
Miller
atmilkman
12-14-2012, 19:56
Lipton cup-o-soup with cous cous and foiled packet chicken. All together it tasted like crap. The soup is the only thing I'll eat now. You can have that cous cous and that fake yard bird.
joshuasdad
12-14-2012, 20:21
I typically don't cook, even on overnights. But the saddest meal I have had is the Thanksgiving meal of chicken salad on crackers at Tricorner Shelter this Thanksgiving. I was likely the loneliest person in TN for that meal -- Tricorner Knob is the furthest point from a road in the entire state.
middle to middle
12-14-2012, 20:25
I shared a shelter one night with a man who set a lot of mouse traps. They were snapping shut all night. He got up and re set them. In the morning he made mouse stew and ate it. I know gross story but I had to tell it again. It shows how practical and frugal a person can be. It is not uncommon for desperate hungry people to eat our little four legged friends. I worked in NYC and the "Mole People" who lived in the subway tunnels ate the rats.
Survivors all.
I'll tell two of them:
#1 when I ran outdoor programs for kids, we were camped one night in Pisgah Forest in NC in the rain and they wanted to make hot chocolate - - I told them to boil water on a stove and go ahead and do it. Instead of hot chocolate mix, they made a "drink" out of chocolate pudding mix. I made them consume it.
#2 in 1996 I was living in the back of my pickup truck (built in bed) and traveling the country - mostly climbing - at some point I bought a "box" of tofu that was supposed to be refrigerated and had it in a cooler - - the ice melted days earlier but I thought it was "cool enough" to make a "tofu-scrambler" with - - I think I was at a rest stop in Eastern Colorado or Western Kansas when this happened. Anyway, I ate the whole thing for dinner and went to sleep. It was coming out both ends for the next 20 hours - I even considered going to a hospital I was so bad off.
hikerboy57
12-14-2012, 21:00
scrambled pancakes.they dont pancake well in a pot
Lipton cup-o-soup with cous cous and foiled packet chicken. All together it tasted like crap. The soup is the only thing I'll eat now. You can have that cous cous and that fake yard bird.
Try Israeli Couscous. It's actually good. Tiny pasta balls about 20 times larger than regular couscous.
atmilkman
12-14-2012, 21:03
Try Israeli Couscous. It's actually good. Tiny pasta balls about 20 times larger than regular couscous.
I'll give em a try.
Wise Old Owl
12-14-2012, 21:05
Scambled eggs and bacon bits...didn't think the dog was going to eat them, yuk!
You are describing Pheasant Omelet. yea it sucked - had to cook the FD pooh on a pan forgot the oil... what a mess.
Hairbear
12-14-2012, 21:30
hawks vittles jambalia,looked and tasted like the bottom of a bird cage .the dog wouldnt eat it either.we both went hungry.
atmilkman
12-14-2012, 21:38
hawks vittles jambalia,looked and tasted like the bottom of a bird cage .the dog wouldnt eat it either.we both went hungry.
You know it's bad when a dog wont eat it.
I also mistook my dr bronners soap for olive oil one time - bad move
Hairbear
12-14-2012, 21:58
You know it's bad when a dog wont eat it.you know it...i bet a possom wouldnt have eaten it
virginia jen
12-15-2012, 02:15
Oatmeal soup. Accidentally put 4x the nec water for the 2 packs of oatmeal. As i slurped it down i vowed to always carry on extra pack. I'm sure I'll make worse though:D
SCRUB HIKER
12-15-2012, 02:33
I was co-leading a school group on a four day hike. The second dinner was mac and cheese, the kind that needs added margarine. No margarine in the food supply. Result: disgusting fluorescent orange glop. Fortunately(?) we were distracted by a kid who never, ever shut up.
I had this same situation on a trip I took in high school. I was eating it so slowly and deliberately that eventually it got cold and then it was almost impossible. One of the leaders rightly made us eat everything because of LNT and because we needed the calories.
I was stoveless on the AT and I would say my worst failure there was trying to make instant gravy without using boiled water. I already knew I was happy with the taste of cold instant taters (that in itself makes other people queasy), but it turns out cold instant gravy doesn't work the same way. It needs boiling water. Otherwise it's just cold water with an extremely concentrated salt/soy/beef flavoring.
Mountain Mike
12-15-2012, 02:53
Ramen noodles, not much nutritional value, high in sodium & MSG. How do they keep sneaking in my pack?
Sarcasm the elf
12-15-2012, 03:14
Alright TW, I think I've got the winning story.
The first ever overnight I did as an adult had a memorable experience. My buddy and I had just dropped a good chunk of money buying gear for backpacking even though we couldn't afford it, in order to make ends need and still hike, my buddy who had no experience made his own soda can alcohol stove for the trip.
I was skeptical at first, but he tried it out in his kitchen and the soda can stove worked well, it boiled water quick enough and was practically free, so I agreed to use it. He even bought a MSR backpackers pot to go with the stove.
On our first day out we made it seven miles ( a big deal on your first trip wearing a pack in over a decade). We got to the campsite and I proceeded to make dinner. I removed the stove that was nestled in the new cookpot, lit it with the denatured alcohol I bought and made couscous.
The first few bites were okay, but then I accidentally took a bite from the part that was at the bottom of the cookpot and my mouth exploded in pain and sent signals to my brain that we were under attack. I instantly turned green and without consciously knowing what happened I ran close to the edge of the tent site and spit out everything in my mouth, replacing it with dry heaving. Not knowing what happened, I unsuccessfully tried to rinse my mouth out as my very concerned hiking buddy tried to see if he could help. He said so something to the effect of "I've never had couscous before but this tastes terrible". To which I responded that I ate the stuff all the time and that this must save been contaminated.
After a brief discussion, the truth came out. It turns out that my buddy was too lazy to buy proper cooking alcohol when testing his stove. Instead he grabbed the only flammable liquid he had available, his girlfriend's nail polish remover, and used that for his first few trial runs. The problem is that nail polish remover does not fully burn down and instead leaves a residue that tastes something like rocket fuel. Turns out that since he hadn't washed the stove before putting it inside the cookpot, all the residue was shaken out into the cookpot. :eek:
Not an experience that I will soon forget. :mad:
Feral Bill
12-15-2012, 03:20
Alright TW, I think I've got the winning story.
The first ever overnight I did as an adult had a memorable experience. My buddy and I had just dropped a good chunk of money buying gear for backpacking even though we couldn't afford it, in order to make ends need and still hike, my buddy who had no experience made his own soda can alcohol stove for the trip.
I was skeptical at first, but he tried it out in his kitchen and the soda can stove worked well, it boiled water quick enough and was practically free, so I agreed to use it. He even bought a MSR backpackers pot to go with the stove.
On our first day out we made it seven miles ( a big deal on your first trip wearing a pack in over a decade). We got to the campsite and I proceeded to make dinner. I removed the stove that was nestled in the new cookpot, lit it with the denatured alcohol I bought and made couscous.
The first few bites were okay, but then I accidentally took a bite from the part that was at the bottom of the cookpot and my mouth exploded in pain and sent signals to my brain that we were under attack. I instantly turned green and without consciously knowing what happened I ran close to the edge of the tent site and spit out everything in my mouth, replacing it with dry heaving. Not knowing what happened, I unsuccessfully tried to rinse my mouth out as my very concerned hiking buddy tried to see if he could help. He said so something to the effect of "I've never had couscous before but this tastes terrible". To which I responded that I ate the stuff all the time and that this must save been contaminated.
After a brief discussion, the truth came out. It turns out that my buddy was too lazy to buy proper cooking alcohol when testing his stove. Instead he grabbed the only flammable liquid he had available, his girlfriend's nail polish remover, and used that for his first few trial runs. The problem is that nail polish remover does not fully burn down and instead leaves a residue that tastes something like rocket fuel. Turns out that since he hadn't washed the stove before putting it inside the cookpot, all the residue was shaken out into the cookpot. :eek:
Not an experience that I will soon forget. :mad: You win......
Hairbear
12-15-2012, 04:23
Alright TW, I think I've got the winning story.
The first ever overnight I did as an adult had a memorable experience. My buddy and I had just dropped a good chunk of money buying gear for backpacking even though we couldn't afford it, in order to make ends need and still hike, my buddy who had no experience made his own soda can alcohol stove for the trip.
I was skeptical at first, but he tried it out in his kitchen and the soda can stove worked well, it boiled water quick enough and was practically free, so I agreed to use it. He even bought a MSR backpackers pot to go with the stove.
On our first day out we made it seven miles ( a big deal on your first trip wearing a pack in over a decade). We got to the campsite and I proceeded to make dinner. I removed the stove that was nestled in the new cookpot, lit it with the denatured alcohol I bought and made couscous.
The first few bites were okay, but then I accidentally took a bite from the part that was at the bottom of the cookpot and my mouth exploded in pain and sent signals to my brain that we were under attack. I instantly turned green and without consciously knowing what happened I ran close to the edge of the tent site and spit out everything in my mouth, replacing it with dry heaving. Not knowing what happened, I unsuccessfully tried to rinse my mouth out as my very concerned hiking buddy tried to see if he could help. He said so something to the effect of "I've never had couscous before but this tastes terrible". To which I responded that I ate the stuff all the time and that this must save been contaminated.
After a brief discussion, the truth came out. It turns out that my buddy was too lazy to buy proper cooking alcohol when testing his stove. Instead he grabbed the only flammable liquid he had available, his girlfriend's nail polish remover, and used that for his first few trial runs. The problem is that nail polish remover does not fully burn down and instead leaves a residue that tastes something like rocket fuel. Turns out that since he hadn't washed the stove before putting it inside the cookpot, all the residue was shaken out into the cookpot. :eek:
Not an experience that I will soon forget. :mad: yup he wins.....
Different Socks
12-15-2012, 04:39
well, this meal didn't get eaten...
One morning i started to boil water for my oatmeal and coffee. When the fireball happened i realized i was boiling white gas instead of water.
rotflmao!!!
rice , peanut butter, freshly caught blue gill and blackberries (near chestnut knob shelter) wrapped in a burrito, i wouldnt say worst thing ive had, but most interesting at least
coolness
12-15-2012, 08:37
I shared a shelter one night with a man who set a lot of mouse traps. They were snapping shut all night. He got up and re set them. In the morning he made mouse stew and ate it. I know gross story but I had to tell it again. It shows how practical and frugal a person can be. It is not uncommon for desperate hungry people to eat our little four legged friends. I worked in NYC and the "Mole People" who lived in the subway tunnels ate the rats.
Survivors all.
That's just nasty..... Gotta be desperate!!
coolness
12-15-2012, 08:40
Well, this meal didn't get eaten...
One morning I started to boil water for my oatmeal and coffee. When the fireball happened I realized I was boiling white gas instead of water.
Maybe your trail name should be Fireball!! That's pretty scary.....
coach lou
12-15-2012, 08:53
Yes indeed....Max does come in with a can of gas sometimes!
atmilkman
12-15-2012, 08:58
Maybe your trail name should be Fireball!! That's pretty scary.....
We named a guy boom boom after he blew up a MSR fuel can with a pocket rocket cross threaded on it. We hear this BOOM and turn and look just in time to see a fireball about 5 feet in circumference. The bottom of the can hit another guy in the groin and we just called him lucky.
Wise Old Owl
12-15-2012, 11:23
Sarcasm - wow yow win.
HikerMom58
12-15-2012, 11:32
These stories are all good :)... LOL!!
Tuckahoe
12-15-2012, 13:22
For me the worst would be any of the Lipton/Knorr instant rice. Probably the biggest disappointment was Packit Gourmet's spaghetti.
hikerhobs
12-16-2012, 11:11
raman noodles and tuna in a foil pack. why i took out tuna is beyond me, since i hate eating fish. :confused:
Wise Old Owl
12-16-2012, 11:23
With that I can added anything with Canned Salmon... must be an Alaska thing.
coolness
12-16-2012, 15:27
With that I can added anything with Canned Salmon... must be an Alaska thing.
Canned salmon is gross; our cat wouldn't even eat it......
Kerosene
12-17-2012, 00:16
I don't think I beat the Elf's nail polish story, but here are mine:
1) On a sub-zero camping trip in Scouts, apparently the white gas leaked through the plastic baggie, contaminating the fudge my mom had packed for me. We still tried to eat it, but the smell was overpowering.
2) Trying to cook pancakes in a pot and without a real spatula. What a mess. We didn't eat that night.
3) Richmoor Eggs Bandito that had probably been sitting in my food bag at home for 5 years. Just say no.
bigfoot2
12-17-2012, 00:50
Worst for me is any kind of freeze dried eggs. Yuckkkkk!
chip2012
12-17-2012, 12:49
Elbow macaroni, coconut jello, and sugar packets in a bottle. Drink when noodles soften.
Another Kevin
02-01-2013, 15:00
How'd I miss this thread the first time around?
Oatmeal, sweetened with the Dr Bronners that I sleepily mistook for honey. (It was a 50-50 chance, I had only two squeeze bottles in my pack.)