TOW
06-08-2005, 16:57
I know things happen in life that rivals fiction, but jeesh!
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve,"
was
the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
one of
those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between
our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all
of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar
code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you
know how
much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy
that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She
had
no clue to what had just happened.
THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you
need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
you
think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to
fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No,
just
this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you
drive
over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary
told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put
it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair
and the
whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the
manager
what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise
control"
and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems
with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the
back of
my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed
the
copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine. The mother
says,
I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him to emergency!
Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."
.................................................. .............
my buddy tim sent this to me, see what you can add to it.... http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_1_129v.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZUxdm020YYUS)
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve,"
was
the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
one of
those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between
our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all
of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar
code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you
know how
much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy
that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She
had
no clue to what had just happened.
THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you
need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
you
think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to
fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No,
just
this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you
drive
over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary
told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put
it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair
and the
whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the
manager
what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise
control"
and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems
with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the
back of
my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed
the
copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine. The mother
says,
I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him to emergency!
Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."
.................................................. .............
my buddy tim sent this to me, see what you can add to it.... http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_1_129v.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZUxdm020YYUS)