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Crazy Larry #1
06-08-2005, 16:57
I know things happen in life that rivals fiction, but jeesh!



ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve,"
was
the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
one of
those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between
our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all
of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar
code so
she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you
know how
much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy
that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She
had
no clue to what had just happened.

THREE

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you
need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
you
think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to
fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No,
just
this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you
drive
over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary
told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put
it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair
and the
whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the
manager
what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise
control"
and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems
with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the
back of
my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

EIGHT

Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed
the
copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine. The mother
says,
I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him to emergency!

Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."
.................................................. .............
my buddy tim sent this to me, see what you can add to it.... http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_1_129v.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZUxdm020YYUS)

max patch
06-08-2005, 17:17
urban legends

digger51
06-08-2005, 18:17
Great stories Wanderer, I laughed more than I have in days.
Last week I went to Wal Mart and after getting my stuff I went to the checkout and put them on the conveyor in front of the cashier. In total seriousness she asked, " you ready to check out hon?". I told her, no, I just heard that her aisle was the best place to hang out at.

Moon Monster
06-08-2005, 21:09
urban legends

Good call.

Hammock Hanger
06-08-2005, 21:24
I don't laugh at jokes much but a number of those made me giggle...:)

fiddlehead
06-08-2005, 21:37
An excellent laugh to start my day. Reminds me of when i was hiking with Lazee in 91 (runs the Eckville hostel in PA now) we were in Manchester Center Vt. at a restaurant and he ordered a pepsi to drink. They said they were sorry but their pepsi machine wasn't working. Well, Mick is a Pepsi machine mechanic in his "other life" and said so and that maybe he could check it out for him. he came back in about 2 minutes with a glass of Pepsi and told us that the machine wasn't plugged in. He said it happens a lot in his business and is always the 1st thing he checks out on an emergency call. he got his dinner for free for knowing this!

Crazy Larry #1
06-08-2005, 22:20
come on you people, surely there is some one else that has a true funny story to add here? lets keep this going..... http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/7/7_2_106.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZUxdm020YYUS)

TakeABreak
06-08-2005, 22:56
O.k. this is a true story from my sister.

She stopped at a walk up ATM machine and a Blonde girl about 18 years old, was getting money from the ATM, my sister after waiting for a while looked to see what the blonde was doing, the blonde noticed my sister looking over her shoulder, the blonde said this takes forever.

After a couple of more minutes my sister started to giggle, the blonde left my sister used her ATM card got out $200.00, while doing so she noticed the little decal that says all transactions must be in multiple's of twenty, my sister finished her transaction and went back to her car.

Her 18 year son, said mom what took so long, my sister busted a gut laughing, and said that blonde would put her atm card in take dollars, finish the transaction, take the card wait a second till the screen cleared, insert the card again, take out another twenty dollars and do the whole thing all over again. My sister said she counted the lady doing this 10 times.

TakeABreak
06-08-2005, 23:26
Here is another true story that happened to me, I owned a 19 ft fiberglass boat, living near lake Erie I knew the 18 gallon fuel tank in the bow was not enough, so I bought two 5 gallon plastic fuel to fit under the AFT (rear) backsplash area. I filled them up inserted them left them there for a few days (with the vent cock on can open of course).

Upon returning a few days later, I noticed one was almost empty. Upon close examination I noticed that the can had a small puncture at one end on the bottom, so drained the remaining few ounce out, washed it out a little, so it would reek to bad when I returned it.

When I went to Meijer's to return this bright right red 5 gallon fuel can, that clearly states on it gasoline only. I told the customer service person what happened, he picked up the fuel can, took the spout off stuck his nose to it, gasped looked at me with a really pissed off look, and at the top of his lungs shouted this has had gas in it, I can't take this back. I looked at him and noticing that a lot of people where staring from him shouting, I shouted at the top of my lungs (with the meanest and deepest tone possible) well stupid that is what you would normally use a gas can for, how else do you think I would find out a brand new gas can is leaking you stupid peace of ****.

The manager came running over asked what happened, I explained it to her. she looked at me, and I said now you tell me how &*% else do you think I was going to find out a brand new gas leaks. She gave me a new one, money to replace my gas, and all the cleaning products I needed to remove the spilled gas from the back of my boat( I could she was afraid of being at this point, not only from a faulty product but also, the jerks attitude). And made her, make the jerk apologize to me for actions. As I was leaving I could her reeming him a new but hole.

I did make it clear to the manager if he ever acted like towards me again, I would settle up with him first, and he looked at me and I said if you want we can settle this right here and now, seeing that not even their security guards (who had saw what happened) were wanting a piece of this, he put as much distance between us as he could.

TakeABreak
06-08-2005, 23:42
just wanted to add, I am usually not that way towards people, that i am generally a ver nice and polite person, I just will not let any act or talk like that me, especially when I di dnothing to them. This is supposed to be the humor section, so ahead and laugh at it, I do know. It really funny when you think about it, to this day I still can not believe that anyone would that stupid.

The Cheat
06-09-2005, 08:25
Does it ever seem to anybody else like every fifth word or so just up and disappears sometimes:-? ?

PKH
06-09-2005, 08:46
Urban legends indeed - but good ones though.

Cheers,

PKH

Jaybird
06-09-2005, 09:19
yep! a agree...URBAN LEGENDS...





But, it could've happened...next time youre in a McD's...
check out the register....

they have burgers, fries, etc...on the number keys rather than actual prices ($1, .50 etc)...no wonder America's kids cant count... :confused:

Big Dawg
06-09-2005, 09:48
Does it ever seem to anybody else like every fifth word or so just up and disappears sometimes:-? ?

Yea,, I've noticed that on many threads,, must be Whiteblaze lingo. It seems to happen to "my" posts/threads from time to time also. I think we just start typing away, & don't always pay too much attention to our grammer/punctuation,, & word placement.

Back to the topic of this thread,, I've been crackin up,, great stories!

PKH
06-09-2005, 10:25
Jaybird,

I doubt this is strictly an American phenomenon, although many have spitefully said so. These types of cash registers are designed to be operated by increasingly illiterate employees. Good thing or bad? Depends on your point of view. I find it alarming, and I would rather that everyone could read, write, and not be restricted to cartoons and little pictures of hamburgers and apple turnovers.

Cheers,

Hammock Hanger
06-09-2005, 10:31
I was working at a friends restaurant up in Aspen there were 3 registers. One register did not tell you the change you had to actually "count" out the change. You would not believe how the cashiers would fight over who got the 2 registers that "told" you the correct change. I usually took the "old" regiater whenever I helped out. It really isn't that hard to count out change... is it:confused:

Crazy Larry #1
06-09-2005, 12:17
Does it ever seem to anybody else like every fifth word or so just up and disappears sometimes:-? ?no attacks please.....

jeepcj258
06-09-2005, 14:20
I enjoyed that!

God Bless
seth

gr8fulyankee
06-09-2005, 15:21
I actually got into an arguments with this women @ Burger King about 10 years ago when she gave me back $10 too much in change. She said "the register says your change is that amount" I said it was wrong. She called the manager over to correct me, instead he looked at the situation and said thank you to me for being honest.

c.coyle
06-09-2005, 15:32
... These types of cash registers are designed to be operated by increasingly illiterate employees. ... I find it alarming, and I would rather that everyone could read, write, and not be restricted to cartoons and little pictures of hamburgers and apple turnovers.

And be able to actually make change. :eek:

"That'll be $3.45"

"Out of $5.00?"

"Three forty-five, fifty, four, and one is five"

"Thank you"

Christ, I'm old. I was actually taught to do it that way when I was a kid.

(This thread should probably be in non-hiking humor)

The Cheat
06-09-2005, 15:46
no attacks please.....??????????

DavidNH
06-09-2005, 16:52
wanderer what a classic! I got a good chuckle here.

Now some one please tellme.. is it REALLY possible that Walmart could find and would hire someone SO STUPID as to try and scan the divider at the check out line?? Where do we get these people??

Oh and Mcdonalds.. you could by 3 6 or 9 nuggets but not a half dozen? No wonder service is going down hill.. Serious lack of brains!!

I ask again..where do they find these people? I mean elementary kids know more than this!!!

NHHiker

Crazy Larry #1
06-09-2005, 17:30
I actually got into an arguments with this women @ Burger King about 10 years ago when she gave me back $10 too much in change. She said "the register says your change is that amount" I said it was wrong. She called the manager over to correct me, instead he looked at the situation and said thank you to me for being honest.hahahahaha, that's good............. http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_12_6.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZUxdm020YYUS)

Crazy Larry #1
06-09-2005, 17:35
??????????my apologies if i'm wrong, but i thought you were referring to "Take A Breaks" threads and the way he was typing? http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_18_4.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZUxdm020YYUS)