View Full Version : something new to be afraid of
mrcoffeect
02-25-2013, 13:51
Im kinda tired of the bears,mice,snakes,tics and weirdos on the trail. I was thinking maybe we could all get wound up about alien abductions on the trail...... it could happenż
That's just wrong. They are undocumented space visitors!
Slo-go'en
02-25-2013, 14:00
Just so long as they don't expect ransom for my safe return...
ATMountainTime
02-25-2013, 14:02
Its already happened. Haven't you seen Nikki Minaj?
SoCalled
02-25-2013, 14:04
The question isnt if they are aliens or where they come from. The question is : How much their tent weight and where can I buy one.
The greatest fear of a UL hiker is to meet someone lighter.
: )
Fur Queue
02-25-2013, 14:07
The weird thing about aliens is that they almost exclusively choose Americans to abduct...so I should be safe. They also seem to abduct an incredibly high percentage of stupid people...drunken lumberjacks felling trees at 3.a.m etc etc...
The question isnt if they are aliens or where they come from. The question is : How much their tent weight and where can I buy one.
The greatest fear of a UL hiker is to meet someone lighter.
: )
UL Depends on the gravitational pull from their home planet!
The weird thing about aliens is that they almost exclusively choose Americans to abduct...so I should be safe. They also seem to abduct an incredibly high percentage of stupid people...drunken lumberjacks felling trees at 3.a.m etc etc...
Why study the fringe nations! :bse
How about crap circles?
The crap circles have been debunged as a hoax!
SoCalled
02-25-2013, 14:12
UL Depends on the gravitational pull from their home planet!
Dammit ..! You are right ...
So Im heavier that I tought concidering all the other gravitational schemes ... Dammit ..!
Dammit ..! You are right ...
So Im heavier that I tought concidering all the other gravitational schemes ... Dammit ..!
Or lighter then an undocumented visitor from Mercury!
SoCalled
02-25-2013, 14:20
Any trails on mercury ???
Im packing my stuff right now.
broken arrow
02-25-2013, 14:25
probe your own probe
FatHead64
02-25-2013, 14:26
The crap circles have been debunged as a hoax!
Aren't those mostly in GSMNP?
The question isnt if they are aliens or where they come from. The question is : How much their tent weight and where can I buy one.
The greatest fear of a UL hiker is to meet someone lighter.
: )
Once I heard two alien's private conversation . one said to the other: Can you believe that human's lightest tent fabric is still Cuben fiber??
The other answered : And they don't know how to dehydrate water???
mrcoffeect
02-25-2013, 15:44
I've had dehydrated water before. tasted alot like sand:-?
SunnyWalker
02-25-2013, 15:46
I'll take my Gerber Machete to 'em!
FarmerChef
02-25-2013, 15:48
This is why I always carry a bit of extra tin foil folded up for my windscreen. When I see the bright lights and suddenly eerie unexplainable fog rolling in, I simply cover my head with the foil and they can't see my brain waves. I might as well be invisible! :dance
Fur Queue
02-25-2013, 16:00
As long as you don't wear a plaid shirt and have tobacco drool, or are grossly overweight and desperately crave attention you should be safe I think...
They wouldn't be aliens long, the current administration would document them, give them all free cell phones, and offer them an intrest free loan to start a buisness.
Odd Man Out
02-25-2013, 18:03
Just give the aliens some cotton to wear and they will die from hypothermia as soon as it rains.
Steve Jennette
02-25-2013, 18:11
My girlfriend was abducted by alien thru hikers, and they got her preggers......at least, that's what she told me.
FarmerChef
02-25-2013, 18:12
As we all know from "Signs" water is deadly to aliens. Why else would they visit a planet that is more than 70% covered by it? Defense against the aliens (assuming you weren't wearing your tin foil hat as indicated prior) is to squeeze your bite valve and spin around rapidly, flinging the water in all directions. This works better after a few beers. Remember: It only takes one drop. Use your water sparingly. And, of course, don't spill your brew.
Just give the aliens some cotton to wear and they will die from hypothermia as soon as it rains.
They will just coat themselves in Vaseline
Wise Old Owl
02-25-2013, 19:25
That's just wrong. They are undocumented space visitors!
They are required to carry a green card and pay $450 in the first round of interviews.... Want to see mine?:sun
Wise Old Owl
02-25-2013, 19:27
Just give the aliens some cotton to wear and they will die from hypothermia as soon as it rains.
Aparently you have avoided watching Moonshiners on Discovery up to now....
Capt Nat
02-25-2013, 19:51
Last time they came past, they were scanning for brain waves and totally missed me! Silly Aliens.....
Wise Old Owl
02-25-2013, 20:09
Wear a foil hat.... Reflectix if possible..
Bucketfoot
02-25-2013, 20:10
Forget aliens. If you have been watching Finding Bigfoot on the Animal Planet channel you would know that the AT is their main travel route when roaming the Eastern US. Watch out they like to pee on your tent.
hikerboy57
02-25-2013, 21:18
there have only been 5 reported alien abductions of thru hikers dating back 80 years. if we assume that 2000 hikers a year attempt a thru, and 1 in 10 finishes, this would mean 1 abduction for every 3200 finishers, so the odds are pretty low.
but once you factor in day hikers section hikers weekenders and 2 girl scouts and a couple of old people the odds drop even more
i wouldnt worry about it. most aliens tend to stay in the towns and cities where they can drive a medallion taxi, send money back to their home planet to their families and one day get them over here to stay
When aliens hitchhike their sign says" Hiker to the next planet"
hikerboy57
02-25-2013, 21:24
When aliens hitchhike their sign says" Hiker to the next planet"
they interpret "moon the cog" quite differently
How about crap circles?
That is how you locate the shelters....crap circles, tp flowers.
Hairbear
02-25-2013, 21:25
They didnt abduct me i begged to go,they dont pay 40 percent in taxes there.
mrcoffeect
02-25-2013, 22:16
Wear a foil hat.... Reflectix if possible..
Im never in the woods without mine. as a mater of fact, Im leary of anyone I meet in the woods if they don't have one on.
The pod people already got to them. :eek:
they interpret "moon the cog" quite differently
I don't want to see the aliens Mooning. That should be an ugly scene!!!. And I don't recommend anyone mooning to aliens even if their spaceship creates smoke worse than Out trains. It is an uncharted territory.
Wise Old Owl
02-25-2013, 22:31
Im never in the woods without mine. as a mater of fact, Im leary of anyone I meet in the woods if they don't have one on.
The pod people already got to them. :eek:
Revenge of the Body Snatchers and R of Pod People is before our time...
Be afraid of Shelter Mice
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01793/owl-mouse_1793880i.jpg
mrcoffeect
02-25-2013, 22:51
Forget aliens. If you have been watching Finding Bigfoot on the Animal Planet channel you would know that the AT is their main travel route when roaming the Eastern US. Watch out they like to pee on your tent.
that totally explains that one morning i woke up wreaking of urine and all my beef jerkey was missing. and to think all this time
I had thought i fell off the wagon in town.
Wise Old Owl
02-25-2013, 22:58
that totally explains that one morning i woke up wreaking of urine and all my beef jerkey was missing. and to think all this time
I had thought i fell off the wagon in town.
And with that folks he is invited to the Cafe... Do not pass go - don't reach for the $200 hidden under the board.....
Coffee Rules!
02-26-2013, 05:12
I think everyone here now thinks I'm full gooze bozo crazy. I laughed like a madman the entire time reading this thread.
broken arrow
02-26-2013, 06:30
how much are Star Trekking poles?
FatHead64
02-26-2013, 07:34
how much are Star Trekking poles?
40 credits....federation credits, that is...
broken arrow
03-02-2013, 05:13
and those are made of Trellium-D? link please.
kayak karl
03-02-2013, 07:04
isn't there an AT book that has a story about this on Max Patch?
Capt Nat
03-02-2013, 09:10
Don't have time for this, I'm going star blazing...
mrcoffeect
03-02-2013, 09:37
Don't have time for this, I'm going star blazing...
make sure you bring your foil hat, and have fun.
Train Wreck
03-02-2013, 12:39
that totally explains that one morning i woke up wreaking of urine and all my beef jerkey was missing. and to think all this time
I had thought i fell off the wagon in town.
If you'd hung that bag of jerky in the shelter you'd still have it :sun
mrcoffeect
03-02-2013, 13:16
If you'd hung that bag of jerky in the shelter you'd still have it :sun
NOTHING will stop a bigfoot from getting your beef jerkey. Even bear cannisters, it is a well known (internet fact) that they make use of crude tools like leathermen and such. And most carry a little spare change on them. :D
Any trails on mercury ???
Im packing my stuff right now.
There are a few trails on Mercury. Bring both your summer gear and winter gear.
Get the new Western Mountainering -300 degree F rated bag. It's a 80# bag but with 38% of the earth's gravitational pull it only weighs 30.4#.
During the day it's a balmy 800 degrees f so make sure you stay hydrated and have the ingredients to make a pizza.
The great thing about mercury is that the day is 58 earth days so at 2mph for the daylight time is a wopping 1392 miles per day.
FatHead64
03-02-2013, 13:54
and those are made of Trellium-D? link please.
I don't know about Trellium-D, but the shock absorbers don't work without dilithium crystals.