You may be right, I may be crazy... but it just might be a lunatic you're looking for

[scheherazada]

So, I'm at a pretty bad point in my life. Not the lowest, thank goodness. But I'm unemployed, my mom is throwing me out of the apartment she's been letting me live in over a big misunderstanding, I have no money, and I'm just coming off several years of horrible depression and medical issues. (Some might say, I am still pretty depressed. You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to.)

I'm also 280 lb on a 5'8" frame. (Down from 310.) I've been walking every day pretty steadily for a few months and my legs are catching back up to "walk forever" status- I have good legs. But I pretty much expect some weight to drop on this trip.

Every fall I dream about an AT thruhike in March, and every year I reject it as a pipe dream. But this year, I feel like, it might be my year. I have always been happiest when camping and hiking; I come from a family of campers, hikers, hunters and fishermen, and while I don't get to go out as often as I want to, I have some experience. In 2005, I ran away from home with the dog and camped in Shenandoah National Park until we ran out of money- we handled things pretty well, and it was so hard to go back to dirty, boring, nasty civilization.

I feel like I need to hike it this year because it will be my anti-depression; because for once and for all, really being in the woods will reset my brain, at least for a few months, and it will answer a lot of questions for me. And, of course, because I've wanted to ever since I knew what the AT was.

Anyway! Advice. The pinchiest thing is money; my friend says she can get me a temporary job that ends in March, and I have a few odds and ends that I can do on the side, but one of my friends did a thruhike and it cost her between $5000-6000- that's a lot of dough. I've already determined that I'll need to make sure I'm comfortable on the trail in order to avoid spending a lot of time in town, which I know would be my weak point moneywise. I also know that I'll want to keep my pack light, which typically means either more money or less comfort.

I'm not planning on hiking with anyone; I'm not averse to making friends, but I'm really doing this to be with me. What I'm really looking forward to are the sunrises and sunsets; the turning a corner and finding marvelous views; the taste of M&Ms after a long hike; the sheer physical enjoyment of little things when you live in your body. I do expect to desperately need hot baths and so on every so often, but I feel like I will love the Trail too much. Love-hate. LOL.

Am I crazy? Should I put it off and save up like a good little monkey, or should I live off Ramen this year and go gung ho? Difficulty: don't give me any crap for being fat, and don't tell me how risky it is for a female to hike alone; I got that part.

[Hill Ape]

:confused:

[HikerMom58]

I understand exactly what you are saying... Oh Gosh.. I can relate to ur thread so much... that's crazy ..not you. ;)

I know for a fact that being on the trail does, in fact, help with depression.

I'm thinking that you should work until March. Keep being physically active as much as you can... you will have better success in staying on the trail the more weight you drop but don't make it a "thing".

Take the amount of $$ you have saved up and hit the trail. Let the trail do the healing. Go as far as you can go on the $$ you have. You can figure things out at that point.

I'm so glad you came on here asking for our advice. You go girl!!

[Blissful]

Many hikers go to the trail to find answers, healing, escape. The woods can do something deep within you. But this is something that does require planning. One must still live. Eat. Have shelter. Sleep. Have clothing and shoes that work. I think you are already realizing you need cash. Working toward a goal (and this goal, hiking the At) is a very satisfying thing. So I would definitely work right now and save up money for your goal of hiking. Meanwhile, read all you can, here, trail journals and elsewhere. Learn about the trail, gear etc. Knowledge at times can be golden.

[slbirdnerd]

Smile. Plan. You can do it! HikerMomKD and Blissful have great advice, as do most of the members here. Read, engage, learn. If you haven't read Becoming Odyssa, I highly recommend starting there.

[QuabbinHiker]

One word of warning - if you intend to thru hike the trail to help with your depression, if you fail to complete the thru hike it is more than probable that your depression will become much more severe. It concerns me that you are looking for a Mike Tyson knockout for your "horrible depression" and that you feel right now is the trail. I urge caution and I am making an assumption here - correct me if I am wrong. You have been treated by the mental health community for years and are probably a tad frustrated. Until a cure is found ( if one is found ) you need to carefully manage your chemical imbalance that is depression and that requires medical attention from a Psychiatrist and therapists. If you take medications for your disability you need to factor that into the thru hike.

On that note, I strongly encourage you to go hike the trail. YOLO.

[Onedawg]

Wow! That's one heck of a first post.

[scheherazada]

I really appreciate all the kind words and helpful thoughts!

I've considered what happens if I fail to complete the trail. I'm really doing much better on the depression front- found meds that work for me, which I will have to carefully plan around, definitely. I do believe that my depression is largely circumstantial and partially self-made- well, you know, it's complicated, but self-limiting beliefs and so on.

I think I'm in a place where, if I fail to complete the trail, I can look at just starting as still something to be super proud of. So many people don't get there. And even if I fall off the wagon, that doesn't mean that I can't come back later- even years later- and complete the hike. But even if I don't, it still will have been an amazing journey. It's better to know when to stop than to keep going when it's horrible for you. One thing I've learned is that it's no shame to know your limits.

QuabbinHiker, I appreciate your concern, I mean that. I just can't wait to be back where I belong, not in this concrete jungle.

I've been reading as much as I can for about a year now, and I'm scouring the forums for information about food(definitely need to eat well!) and supplies. I have a medical background, with some nursing school under my belt, so I'm pretty familiar with nutrition and first aid. I'm just having a hard time estimating how much money I'll really need. I have a ton of family in New Hampshire and Maine, so I might be able to skirt some there- I know it gets more expensive up there.

Would it be worth it to do some section hikes first, even though that would cut into my budget?

[RED-DOG]

I have Thru-Hiked the trail three times my third was in 2012 and i spent 5700 dollars out of a budget of $7000 thats gear and every thing on the trail, my advice to you is work as long as you can save as much as you can atleast $6000, but be fair warned the AT is not easy it's hard. on that note go have lots of fun and most important of all ENJOY it.

[Slo-go'en]

Being female is irrelvalent, being fat is a handycap which can be overcome, but no money is a show stopper.

It always comes down to a question of money. Or lack there of. You have to pay to play. Those who try to do it on the cheap don't get far. Somehow, someway, you need to earn enough to take the trip and to live on in the mean time. That is the reality, plain and simple. How you can do that, I have no clue. I just hope you can figure out a way.

In the mean time, going out to local parks and doing long walks can do you a world of good and that doesn't cost anything - or at least much. Keep loosing weight. You'll feel better and look better.

[Pedaling Fool]

Am I the only one thinking that the OP may have her priorities all screwed up. She's 28 and lives with her mother and is overweight, which seems to indicate she's not really an active person. So going on a TH is jumping out of the pan and into the fire.

So what about after your thru-hike? You got your whole life ahea of you and you're thinking of a thru-hike and your chances of finishing ain't looking so good. What next?

[Rocket Jones]

You have a range of options, especially if you remember that it's all about the journey, not the destination. One extreme is to work now and save as much as possible, then in the Spring start your hike and go until your money runs out. You don't even have to start in Georgia. The other extreme is to work and scrimp and save as long as it takes (could be a couple of years or more) to have the money you'll need to complete your thru hike, realizing that most people don't finish. If you do finish, great! If not, then you've got a bit of a nest egg to help get back into the world.

In the meantime, keep walking. Work on your core too by doing planks.

Get outside on the weekends for dayhikes and overnighters. Now is the time to practice and figure out your sleeping, camping and cooking processes. Try cooking a trail meal out in the yard one morning or evening.

If you need gear, start keeping an eye out for sales and bargains. Thrift stores, yard sales, Craigslist, etc. can all provide amazing deals if your timing is right.

In my opinion, the only expectation you should have about a long hike is that it's going to be harder than you ever dreamed of. I saw a sign once that said "Embrace the Suck." You're going to hurt, be cold and tired, get rained on, have gear fail and get discouraged, but you'll also see those magical sunrises and reconnect with nature. The trick is to be able to appreciate them when they happen.

[Harrison Bergeron]

The AT isn't therapy for overgrown kids who can't figure out how to get started in life. It's a bucket-list item for people who like to walk in the woods anyway. The primary cause of depression in most people is not insufficient hiking -- it's loneliness and lack of control over the events in their life.


If you're a 300 lb grown woman living with your mother with no job or prospects, I would say it's time to quit feeling sorry for yourself and think about what you're doing wrong. Losing weight and walking are good first steps, but instead of saving $5000 for an AT hike, why not invest that money in some education so you can get a job and support yourself?


You may discover that once you become more physically attractive and self-sufficient that others will want to spend time with you. By the way, the cost of weight-loss surgery has come way down -- if you had a job, your insurance would probably cover it.


Good luck, and I hope you "find your mojo", but I doubt that you'll find anything on the AT that you didn't already have.

[Teacher & Snacktime]

Make plans to do what you feel you need to do. If it's the right thing for you, it will work out. I know this sounds kind of "shredded wheat" or whatever the term is for cosmic reasoning, but somethimes those pennies you find on the road really are telling you you're on the right path. Whatever you decide, I can attest from personal experience that there will be folks from WhiteBlaze to support you. (see post #3) And yes, you're probably nuts....but then, aren't we all.......

[illabelle]

I'm pretty sure there's not one word above that I would disagree with. You've gotten some very good advice, delivered with encouragement and a gentle tone. We wish the best for you.

Please understand that taking a walk will not fix the things that aren't right in your life. I don't know you or your mother, so I'm just guessing here, but I think she's probably the one person in all the world who loves you more than anybody else does. Take a walk if you like, but don't walk away from her. If you can work on fixing that relationship, getting healthy, getting a job, and becoming self-supporting, you might find that the depression lifts and your perspective changes about many things, including the AT.

[Teacher & Snacktime]

I'm pretty sure there's not one word above that I would disagree with. You've gotten some very good advice, delivered with encouragement and a gentle tone. We wish the best for you.

Please understand that taking a walk will not fix the things that aren't right in your life. I don't know you or your mother, so I'm just guessing here, but I think she's probably the one person in all the world who loves you more than anybody else does. Take a walk if you like, but don't walk away from her. If you can work on fixing that relationship, getting healthy, getting a job, and becoming self-supporting, you might find that the depression lifts and your perspective changes about many things, including the AT.

Ok....made me weepy....and I totally agree.

[magneto]

You are not crazy. Two years ago, I met a young man on the AT at a shelter near Mt. Greylock in Massachusetts. It was late June (as I recall) and he was southbound having started at Baxter a few weeks before. Stepping off to climb Katahdin, he weighed 300 lbs. It took him 7 hours to climb it, he said, but climb it he did. By the time I met him, he had dropped 60 lbs on his hike, having completed the most difficult part of the trail through the 100 Mile Wilderness and the Whites. He had the look of a thru-hiker who was going to make it, although I don't know if he did.

I used to weigh over 400 lbs. Three years ago I had gastric bypass surgery in the fall and dropped 175 lbs in just 9 months, sitting on my butt. I started hiking in the spring, and lost another 40 lbs by the end of the hiking season. I started with the lower peaks in Mass and Southern New Hampshire, but then I "accidentally" hiked Lafayette and Garfield, and was hooked. Right now I am chasing the 48 4000-Footers in New Hampshire - I have bagged 24 so far in the last two years.

You can do this.

[Hill Ape]

lets assume for a moment that you're in the less than 25% of hikers that actually make it. then what? where will you live, where will you work, what will you have to return too? the world is still there, waiting. you'll still have to adapt to that environment, you have to work to live independently and feed yourself. the freedom you long for, isn't free. you have no job, no marketable skill, and no money. hiking is not going to address those issues, it may well make them worse.
you say you feel like this year might be your year. why? what evidence do have to support that conclusion? everything in both your posts says to me you are simply trying to run away, to escape.
i'm not one to give you anything about your weight. pro or con. yes, if you thru hike it will present an additional challenge. blind people have hiked the trail, amputees have hiked the trail. you will face challenges every single day. as in life. learn to face those challenges in life, and you'll be a more effective thru hiker. if you're a quiter, if you give up easily, if you wallow in depression and self pity, you wont succeed in life or on the trail.
my advice. get your life in order first. go back to nursing school and finish your degree. give yourself options. accept and love yourself. take care of yourself; mentally, physically, emotionally. stand on your own two feet, before you use those feet to take a hike, and take care of your feet. hit the trail as often as you're able for a respite from the rat race. save money for a thru hike in the future, don't ever let go of that, when the time is right, you'll be better for it in every way.

[treesloth]

In my opinion, the only expectation you should have about a long hike is that it's going to be harder than you ever dreamed of. I saw a sign once that said "Embrace the Suck." You're going to hurt, be cold and tired, get rained on, have gear fail and get discouraged, but you'll also see those magical sunrises and reconnect with nature. The trick is to be able to appreciate them when they happen.

Those are awesome words, Rocket. From everything I've read about a thruhike (I've yet to do one, but soon enough), it seems like MOST can expect to be less-than-happy to miserable about a 1/3 of the time. The other 2/3 of the time, OK to fabulous. Results vary, of course. But that's a pretty good ratio to me, in the grand scheme of things. My small multi-day hikes have always been in the 2/3 section of that pie chart, so I've yet to experience true mountain misery in backpacking (I've experienced it otherwise). But I'm pretty sure I now understand how life on the trail is much about tradeoffs. :) Embrace the suck!

[ATMountainTime]

Good luck man, we've all had hard times. The trail wont heal anything, but it will give you perspective and clarity.

"Embrace the Suck" - LMAO. Awesome.

[HikerMom58]

Good luck man, we've all had hard times. The trail wont heal anything, but it will give you perspective and clarity.

"Embrace the Suck" - LMAO. Awesome.

ATMountainTime... you're funny. :) The trail does heal some things. I know this it true from first hand experience in my own family.

scheherazada.... it's great that u have found meds that work for you. That's huge right there. It is complicated isn't it??
Hopefully you have had some "talk therapy" to give you support as well. You prob. know the type of people that you need to hang out with that help and support you on your road back to complete recovery. Hang with those people.

Sometimes the depression will take on a life of it's own after a while. The original cause of the depression will get lost in symptoms of the depression itself. That's when hiking the trail will help u the most in getting your life back. It works.

You will still have to push through things on the trail but it will be much easier as time goes by. Hiking the trail is not easy but it give you back your confidence that you can do anything you want too. ;)

The weight will come off too. :D

If I could reach through the computer and give you a big hug, I would. :) You can do this girl... I believe in you!

[RCBear]

I have to side more with Hill Ape in this one. Although Magento's story is very inspiring and this could be your catalyst to getting your life back in order. But....Magento, other than the weight similarity, may not have had the severity of the other issues that you mentioned are plaguing you. I am wary when I hear people want to di something on the extreme side of the spectrum in the hopes of altering their situation.

I think working to save, and in the meantime, biting off manageable goals that provide rewards along the way and build confidence is the better approach. How will you handle it if for say, you have built the event up so large in your mind only to perhaps noy get out of GA or GSNP?

You don't want to risk falling into deepr depression over it. I would pay closer attention to the comments suggesting the downside than the ones accentuating the positive in this case.

Work up to it. I think you will find better success that way. Good luck with whichever direction you pursue!

[Teacher & Snacktime]

I think we're all in agreement here that the AT is not meant to be a cure, but perhaps an anecdote (pun intended) :banana

[Driver8]

I'm pretty sure there's not one word above that I would disagree with. You've gotten some very good advice, delivered with encouragement and a gentle tone. We wish the best for you.

Please understand that taking a walk will not fix the things that aren't right in your life. I don't know you or your mother, so I'm just guessing here, but I think she's probably the one person in all the world who loves you more than anybody else does. Take a walk if you like, but don't walk away from her. If you can work on fixing that relationship, getting healthy, getting a job, and becoming self-supporting, you might find that the depression lifts and your perspective changes about many things, including the AT.

This may be right on, but it may not. I leave it to you to make that call, sherazada. It may be that a long distance him

I think this can and probably should be about setting and working toward goals. Earn and save certain amounts of money with time. Get hikes of certain length and difficulty in. Snag the gear you need, within budget. Lose some pounds and gain some stamina, shave time off of hikes or walks you use to measure progress. Once out on trail, set goals to get certain distances - NC border can be a check mark, then Clingman's Dome, then Hot Springs and Damascus, for example. Longer mileages and elevation gains/losses can be metrics, too.

If you really want it, you can make it happen. Just have to work steadily at it. Good advice for us all. Good luck and blessings to you!

[scheherazada]

Hey guys. Thanks again! I might take "Embrace the Suck" as my motto- along with "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something." And "Fear is the mindkiller." Lol!

I have to correct some assumptions- first, I have a bachelor's degree already. I'm amazingly attractive, and I have a lot of great friends(thank god!). I have a lot of volunteer experience in ecology- planting trees, maintaining trails, picking up trash. I am the Trash Ninja. I have a lot of stuff going for me. I even successfully ran my own business for three years.

When I come back, knowing me, I'll probably work any job I can get until I save up enough to start my own business again. I do much better when I'm holding the whip and the carrot.

I'm not worried about the physicality of trail life- I've already been getting back into shape, and I'm additionally hitting the gym every day for strength training. My body is sturdy. It will adapt.

I'm just worried about money. So I'm hearing at least $5000, right? More like $7000 is better? Well, I guess we'll see what I can come up with. I hate to keep putting it off- there will always be a very good reason to put it off- but we're not always in control.

[Driver8]

Sorry, meant to say in paragraph 1 that it may be that a long distance hike will be the time and place where you fledge out on your own, come into your own, and that may good things for you, in your relationship with your mom and otherwise. Again, for you to work out.

[Teacher & Snacktime]

Hey guys. Thanks again! I might take "Embrace the Suck" as my motto- along with "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something." And "Fear is the mindkiller." Lol!

.


Hooray for the Princess Bride reference!!!! Oh, and don't worry about the ROUS's on the trail....I don't think they exist (except maybe in the shelters).

[chief]

Wow scheherazada you're cured. You've gone from fat, broke, and depressed to fabulous in just a few posts. Okay, still broke, but who's counting? The AT should be a walk in the park for you. Keep us updated and good luck.

[Chaco Taco]

The AT isn't therapy for overgrown kids who can't figure out how to get started in life.
Funny, I just had to point this part out. Anyone?

[HikerMom58]

Funny, I just had to point this part out. Anyone?

http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/images/Eloquent/miscgreen/quote_icon.png Originally Posted by Harrison Bergeron http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/images/Eloquent/buttonsgreen/viewpost-right.png (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1513144#post1513144)
The AT isn't therapy for overgrown kids who can't figure out how to get started in life



Yeah, sometimes it can be or they want to pretend it's some kind of therapy, anyway. LOL!!

Funny, I've met more than one young hiker that openly admits, they are on the trail b/c they are an overgrown kid who can't figure out how to get started in life. The ones that admit it don't seem partially proud about it...

[Driver8]

Smile. Plan. You can do it! HikerMomKD and Blissful have great advice, as do most of the members here. Read, engage, learn. If you haven't read Becoming Odyssa, I highly recommend starting there.

The Barefoot Sisters' books, Southbound and Walking Home, are also good, relatable reads. And if you haven't read Bryon's Walk in the Woods, it's fun and informative - lots of good laughs.

[magneto]

RCBear: Thanks for the reference - I'd like to say that at the time of my surgery, when my weight had hit its highest, I had many challenges that were unpleasant to face: flagging business, home in foreclosure, family problems, blood pressure 240/190 from excess weight, taxes owed to the IRS, debts, etc, etc... What I came to realize is that the unpleasant circumstances of our lives should not prevent us from achieving great things, if we can otherwise achieve them. Despite all the crap, I resolved to have the surgery, lose the weight, take on each challenge one by one, and then become an athlete via hiking and eventually mountaineering.

So now I hike and climb when I can, in the time, weather and terrain that I have. (Luckily I have New Hampshire handy). I do not wait for things to be perfect. Given the real chance, I would depart immediately on a long thru-hike. There is never a convenient time to be away, so you just have to find a time to do it.

The trail might not cure your ills, but engaging in an intense, athletic pursuit can do wonders to clear you mind and give you space to solve your problems. This has been my experience.

scheherazada - "Fear is the mind killer" - I like the Dune reference. Here is the rest of it: "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." From a geeky science fiction novel - I know - but so true.

Don't be afraid to take on the trail, even if you have other problems in your life.

[Papa D]

Go for it. If you stick with it and actually do it, that weight will come off fast - - start slow - 8 mile days, build up to 9, then 10, then 12 - - you'll know you have trail legs when you do a 13.9 to a shelter and see it's crowded and just say what the chell - I'll just do another 6.1 to make a good 20. You can do more than you think you can but a lot of your days will absolutely SUCK for you - you'll be so furking out of breath going up hills that will never seem to end - you'll be literally exhausted beyond what you think is possible - you'll sweat, chaff, get blisters, get wet and freeze your ares off in a cold rainstorm in the same day. Over a few weeks things will either get a lot better or (frankly) you'll pull the plug and get off - the choice is yours but you really can do more than you think you can - this is true.

[johnnybgood]

Wouldn't you know it ,another Richmonder out there. ***Remember this ; slow & steady progress wins the race here. Good Luck !

[Onedawg]

Wouldn't you know it ,another Richmonder out there.

Smile when you say that. :D

[Wise Old Owl]

So, I'm at a pretty bad point in my life. Not the lowest, thank goodness. But I'm unemployed, my mom is throwing me out of the apartment she's been letting me live in over a big misunderstanding, I have no money, and I'm just coming off several years of horrible depression and medical issues. (Some might say, I am still pretty depressed. You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to.)

I'm also 280 lb on a 5'8" frame. (Down from 310.) I've been walking every day pretty steadily for a few months and my legs are catching back up to "walk forever" status- I have good legs. But I pretty much expect some weight to drop on this trip.

Every fall I dream about an AT thruhike in March, and every year I reject it as a pipe dream. But this year, I feel like, it might be my year. I have always been happiest when camping and hiking; I come from a family of campers, hikers, hunters and fishermen, and while I don't get to go out as often as I want to, I have some experience. In 2005, I ran away from home with the dog and camped in Shenandoah National Park until we ran out of money- we handled things pretty well, and it was so hard to go back to dirty, boring, nasty civilization.

I feel like I need to hike it this year because it will be my anti-depression; because for once and for all, really being in the woods will reset my brain, at least for a few months, and it will answer a lot of questions for me. And, of course, because I've wanted to ever since I knew what the AT was.

Anyway! Advice. The pinchiest thing is money; my friend says she can get me a temporary job that ends in March, and I have a few odds and ends that I can do on the side, but one of my friends did a thruhike and it cost her between $5000-6000- that's a lot of dough. I've already determined that I'll need to make sure I'm comfortable on the trail in order to avoid spending a lot of time in town, which I know would be my weak point moneywise. I also know that I'll want to keep my pack light, which typically means either more money or less comfort.

I'm not planning on hiking with anyone; I'm not averse to making friends, but I'm really doing this to be with me. What I'm really looking forward to are the sunrises and sunsets; the turning a corner and finding marvelous views; the taste of M&Ms after a long hike; the sheer physical enjoyment of little things when you live in your body. I do expect to desperately need hot baths and so on every so often, but I feel like I will love the Trail too much. Love-hate. LOL.

Am I crazy? Should I put it off and save up like a good little monkey, or should I live off Ramen this year and go gung ho? Difficulty: don't give me any crap for being fat, and don't tell me how risky it is for a female to hike alone; I got that part.


I am not going to read the other posts... but to the quick the depression is disturbing, possibly to everyone who might post. You are 29 and a yet from your good writing you haven't found a calling - these are difficult times and we as a group can identify with that.


Focus on the work ethic instead and success will be around the corner... the trail is always there. I suggest you work out each late sunset or morning and bang out a well know three or four mile. Every other week add a mile.

Keep posting - you are amongst friends.

[bigcranky]

First, thanks for the Billy Joel brainworm from the thread title. I thought I had blocked out that portion of my life.... :)

You're not crazy for wanting to hike. Dreams like that are what keep us going, day in and day out, for most of our lives. It sounds like you have some idea of what you're getting yourself into, though I wonder if you understand just how much of a grind it can be over a really long distance. But as mentioned above, slow and steady. Start with very short days in Georgia and ramp up the mileage as you move north.

Yeah, five grand is a good number, maybe more, depends on a lot of things that you don't know until you get out there. (The weather in March. How much it rains. Injuries or illness. Etc.) But there is nothing wrong with a long section hike, either.

As long as we're throwing old movie quotes around, remember that it's supposed to be hard.... The hard is what makes it great.

Good luck and happy trails.

[Coosa]

scheherazada

Check out my blog --- http://ChasingTheTrail.blogspot.com --- then leave a comment there or message me here. I'll send you a box of food if it's stuff you like -- left over from my hike -- if you read the blog, start to finish, you'll understand --- I may have some gear and I have MAPS I'll sell you at a good price if you're interested (was just about to list them here) NJ Northward --- try to buy gear second hand or MAKE your own!

I agree with the idea of working till you start your hike but suggest a later start date so the weather doesn't slow you down and cost you $$$$ waiting out the Cold! Mid to Late April start would give you another month to save money. Or even first of May.

Hope to hear from you,
Coosa

[Bronk]

Given your situation, I'd suggest you just save as much money as you can and set out to hike until the money is gone or you aren't having fun anymore. If you need to set a goal, shoot for 100 miles and put a notch in your belt every time you complete another hundred. This is the way most people should do it because the reality is that 80% of people that set out to hike the whole trail don't end up making it for a variety of reasons, and you've got several things stacked against you from the outset. While it sounds cool to tell people that you are going to hike about 2200 miles, you might be embarrassed to talk about your trip if you don't go the whole way. People will be just as impressed if you tell them you walked 100 miles, 300 miles or 1000 miles. Most people have never walked 10.

[Datto]

One of the things you will find, after a few hundred miles of an AT thru-hike, is you'll be accepted by other AT thru-hikers no matter who you were and used to be. I found an AT thru-hiker is accepted for who they truly are -- complete with warts and pasts and disabilities and aspirations and dreams and intentions.

You would not believe the number of times I saw that transition happen on my AT thru-hike. I consider it to be one of the most beautiful things to observe and experience on an AT thru-hike.


Datto

[Bobby]

So, I'm at a pretty bad point in my life. Not the lowest, thank goodness. But I'm unemployed, my mom is throwing me out of the apartment she's been letting me live in over a big misunderstanding, I have no money, and I'm just coming off several years of horrible depression and medical issues. (Some might say, I am still pretty depressed. You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to.)

I'm also 280 lb on a 5'8" frame. (Down from 310.) I've been walking every day pretty steadily for a few months and my legs are catching back up to "walk forever" status- I have good legs. But I pretty much expect some weight to drop on this trip.

Every fall I dream about an AT thruhike in March, and every year I reject it as a pipe dream. But this year, I feel like, it might be my year. I have always been happiest when camping and hiking; I come from a family of campers, hikers, hunters and fishermen, and while I don't get to go out as often as I want to, I have some experience. In 2005, I ran away from home with the dog and camped in Shenandoah National Park until we ran out of money- we handled things pretty well, and it was so hard to go back to dirty, boring, nasty civilization.

I feel like I need to hike it this year because it will be my anti-depression; because for once and for all, really being in the woods will reset my brain, at least for a few months, and it will answer a lot of questions for me. And, of course, because I've wanted to ever since I knew what the AT was.

Anyway! Advice. The pinchiest thing is money; my friend says she can get me a temporary job that ends in March, and I have a few odds and ends that I can do on the side, but one of my friends did a thruhike and it cost her between $5000-6000- that's a lot of dough. I've already determined that I'll need to make sure I'm comfortable on the trail in order to avoid spending a lot of time in town, which I know would be my weak point moneywise. I also know that I'll want to keep my pack light, which typically means either more money or less comfort.

I'm not planning on hiking with anyone; I'm not averse to making friends, but I'm really doing this to be with me. What I'm really looking forward to are the sunrises and sunsets; the turning a corner and finding marvelous views; the taste of M&Ms after a long hike; the sheer physical enjoyment of little things when you live in your body. I do expect to desperately need hot baths and so on every so often, but I feel like I will love the Trail too much. Love-hate. LOL.

Am I crazy? Should I put it off and save up like a good little monkey, or should I live off Ramen this year and go gung ho? Difficulty: don't give me any crap for being fat, and don't tell me how risky it is for a female to hike alone; I got that part.



I hiked the AT when i was 25 and the PCT when I was 27.
I'm 40 now - even if i wanted to, it would be almost impossible for me to go hike a long distance trail. You have the perfect opportunity to go hike the trail - focus on a spring departure and work towards that goal. Save every penny, work extra jobs, read stuff, acquire the gear you'll need, and hike as much as you can. As one gets older and involved with the rat race of life, time can be the hardest thing to come by. If you have it now, take it and run with it.

Just remember one thing that someone said to me when i was leaving on my 2nd long distance hike - "where ever you go, there you are."

In my opinion - there will be plenty of time to get a job, acquire bills, and make commitments with your time. Those opportunities will be there when you get back.

Keep in mind too - that there will always be people to tell you all the reasons why you shouldn't do something or will not be successful. Measure them for what they are and act accordingly.

As far as a cure all? eh, the sun still rises and sets regardless of where we find ourselves in life and there's no magic bullet for what ails us, but walking in the wood everyday for six months will most definitely help!

good luck and have fun!

[RCBear]

I hiked the AT when i was 25 and the PCT when I was 27.
I'm 40 now - even if i wanted to, it would be almost impossible for me to go hike a long distance trail. You have the perfect opportunity to go hike the trail - focus on a spring departure and work towards that goal. Save every penny, work extra jobs, read stuff, acquire the gear you'll need, and hike as much as you can. As one gets older and involved with the rat race of life, time can be the hardest thing to come by. If you have it now, take it and run with it.

Just remember one thing that someone said to me when i was leaving on my 2nd long distance hike - "where ever you go, there you are."

In my opinion - there will be plenty of time to get a job, acquire bills, and make commitments with your time. Those opportunities will be there when you get back.

Keep in mind too - that there will always be people to tell you all the reasons why you shouldn't do something or will not be successful. Measure them for what they are and act accordingly.

As far as a cure all? eh, the sun still rises and sets regardless of where we find ourselves in life and there's no magic bullet for what ails us, but walking in the wood everyday for six months will most definitely help!

good luck and have fun!

If I were to have only read your post and had not seen the OP, I would declare it to be great advice. Having read the original post however, I think we all need to he very careful in the encouragement to "just do it". She has made a follow up post that appears to be very much out of sync with her original. I believe that imparting what worked for us back when or now and assuming it transfers is risky to her health at best and could end up disastrous at worst if she were to act upon it. This woman has significant emotional and health issues that cant just be cured by a "walk in the woods".

The advice she needs right now needs to come from health care professionals, not folks on WB. Sometimes not hearing the news you want is for the best.

I wish her the best. That is all any of us can, or should do in this situation in my opinion.

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[Bobby]

If I were to have only read your post and had not seen the OP, I would declare it to be great advice. Having read the original post however, I think we all need to he very careful in the encouragement to "just do it". She has made a follow up post that appears to be very much out of sync with her original. I believe that imparting what worked for us back when or now and assuming it transfers is risky to her health at best and could end up disastrous at worst if she were to act upon it. This woman has significant emotional and health issues that cant just be cured by a "walk in the woods".

The advice she needs right now needs to come from health care professionals, not folks on WB. Sometimes not hearing the news you want is for the best.

I wish her the best. That is all any of us can, or should do in this situation in my opinion.

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Everyone hits low points in life. Some people call them "bottoms" and they can be used as motivation to change. Planning a hike on the AT and working on trying to carry it out seems fairly safe healthy.

What she described is a fairly common phenomena these days. She is by no means in an unusual circumstance and would perhaps benefit from some change.

As far as depressed - probably half the people we encounter on a daily basis suffer from some level of depression. Heck I bet half the people on here can identify in some way with this woman. Additionally i wouldn't be surprised if a lot of the people on here are medicated - either from a dr. or just self medicating. Pretty normal these days.

[RCBear]

Everyone hits low points in life. Some people call them "bottoms" and they can be used as motivation to change. Planning a hike on the AT and working on trying to carry it out seems fairly safe healthy.

What she described is a fairly common phenomena these days. She is by no means in an unusual circumstance and would perhaps benefit from some change.

As far as depressed - probably half the people we encounter on a daily basis suffer from some level of depression. Heck I bet half the people on here can identify in some way with this woman. Additionally i wouldn't be surprised if a lot of the people on here are medicated - either from a dr. or just self medicating. Pretty normal these days.

Im sorry but if you read her opening post and one of her followups, this is not the normal depression that people suffer due to outside environmental variables that everyone faces these days. those that have clinical depression that feature bouts of extreme mania (her follow up post) preceded by episodes of deep depression (her original), cycle through those stages regardless of oustide influences, although those factors can and do exacerbate their state of mind. Of these people, those that have fine tuned their meds over time (its a process) in order to be effective throughout the day without major swings have figured out their "system" and as long as they NEVER veer from taking them, can do amazing things. People that have not reached that state of self discipline and self caring yet are at extreme risk to bad things befalling them. I know she is still reading these comments and I dont want to add pain, but I make them not for her, but for the rest of us that want to believe that what worked for us, can work for her. It doesnt happen that way. People that suffer from mania can make themselves believe nothing can stop them from accomplishing what they want, only to come back to earth very hard in a matter of days, if not hours. They tend to be intelligent people that are very adept at finessing the support they want to hear from others. This young woman appears to be cycling through those stages quickly.

If she is not under the supervision of a qualifies health professional at the moment (and that would appear to be the case), we are potentially doing her a grave disservice by continuing to feed her kumbaya advice. This is serious business and we are being too cavalier in our posts.

I believe someone from the get go said "hell of a first post". If that is true, it does nothing but further my point, especially since she put conditions on her expected answers.

In all good consciousness, I am of the belief that for her sake, this thread be closed. Sorry for being longwinded but this is going in a bad direction.


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[Bobby]

Im sorry but if you read her opening post and one of her followups, this is not the normal depression that people suffer due to outside environmental variables that everyone faces these days. those that have clinical depression that feature bouts of extreme mania (her follow up post) preceded by episodes of deep depression (her original), cycle through those stages regardless of oustide influences, although those factors can and do exacerbate their state of mind. Of these people, those that have fine tuned their meds over time (its a process) in order to be effective throughout the day without major swings have figured out their "system" and as long as they NEVER veer from taking them, can do amazing things. People that have not reached that state of self discipline and self caring yet are at extreme risk to bad things befalling them. I know she is still reading these comments and I dont want to add pain, but I make them not for her, but for the rest of us that want to believe that what worked for us, can work for her. It doesnt happen that way. People that suffer from mania can make themselves believe nothing can stop them from accomplishing what they want, only to come back to earth very hard in a matter of days, if not hours. They tend to be intelligent people that are very adept at finessing the support they want to hear from others. This young woman appears to be cycling through those stages quickly.

If she is not under the supervision of a qualifies health professional at the moment (and that would appear to be the case), we are potentially doing her a grave disservice by continuing to feed her kumbaya advice. This is serious business and we are being too cavalier in our posts.

I believe someone from the get go said "hell of a first post". If that is true, it does nothing but further my point, especially since she put conditions on her expected answers.

In all good consciousness, I am of the belief that for her sake, this thread be closed. Sorry for being longwinded but this is going in a bad direction.


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You are making some incredibly far reaching assumptions based on a couple of posts. Instead of trying to read between the lines and psychoanalyzing her, why not just take her for who she says she is and answer her questions.

I get what you are saying, but i disagree with the extreme direction you are taking her posts. Let's not forget that these posts will probably have very little impact what what she actually does with her life - it's the freakin internet and we are in a chat room about hiking!

[HikerMom58]

You are making some incredibly far reaching assumptions based on a couple of posts. Instead of trying to read between the lines and psychoanalyzing her, why not just take her for who she says she is and answer her questions.

I get what you are saying, but i disagree with the extreme direction you are taking her posts. Let's not forget that these posts will probably have very little impact what what she actually does with her life - it's the freakin internet and we are in a chat room about hiking!

I tried to " interpret" what she is trying to communicate to all of us. I think I got it all wrong on my interpretation of her OP.
Now, I'm really confused about where she is coming from.....

This type of communication leaves much to be desired....:eek: I tried...:o That's all we can do, Bobby.

[Kookork]

A manic depressive patient takes days to switch from depressive to manic not hours. She sounded like a normal person to me who has reached a bump in her life. Nothing complicated to me.She can handle either a hike or her temporary situation. We are not perfect and why should be.

[RCBear]

Sorry Bobby, I couldn't disagree with you more on this subject. There are no lines to read between. They stand out pretty sharply on their own.

And with that I will shut up. There is nothing more I can add to my earlier post. I hope sherazade finds her way and the peace and serenity that she seeks. Because sometimes, those two things to people that struggle as she does, is as good as true happiness.

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[chiefduffy]

If I were to have only read your post and had not seen the OP, I would declare it to be great advice. Having read the original post however, I think we all need to he very careful in the encouragement to "just do it". She has made a follow up post that appears to be very much out of sync with her original. I believe that imparting what worked for us back when or now and assuming it transfers is risky to her health at best and could end up disastrous at worst if she were to act upon it. This woman has significant emotional and health issues that cant just be cured by a "walk in the woods".
The advice she needs right now needs to come from health care professionals, not folks on WB. Sometimes not hearing the news you want is for the best.
I wish her the best. That is all any of us can, or should do in this situation in my opinion.

This post reminds me why I rarely go beyond the second page of a thread!! OP: get out there and HIKE!

[elmotoots]

Yes you are crazy.

You said you dream of an AT thru hike.

Being overweight and unprepared won't stop you from hiking but it will reduce your odds of completing a thru hike. Do you want to take a bigger chance on failure?

If you want to do a thru hike get a job lose some more weight, save some money. All while continuing to get your legs in shape.

If all you want to do is hike, then go hiking.

You must PREPARE YOURSELF to succeed. Or get yourself ready for the failure.

I think you could complete a thru hike. And getting ready could be over half the fun.

Sorry if my words are harsh, but you asked for opinions and this is mine.

[Onedawg]

it's the freakin internet and we are in a chat room about hiking!

Thay can't put something on the Internet that's not true.

[marshbirder]

I started obsessing about a thru-hike in 2006 when my life was hitting bottom, a true bottom. Looking back on it now, it was absolutely an attempt to escape everything and it was long before I had ever heard anyone say "everywhere you go, there you are." I tried all kinds of geographical cures for my depression and other issues. Thank god I didn't attempt a hike then. I probably wouldn't have made it more than a week and upon failing, things would have gotten worse. My bottom would have gotten much deeper and darker. Here I am several years later, back on the obsession train, but my life is *completely* different. I got help, made lots of changes in my life, and I'm ready. The longest I've ever spent hiking was three weeks on an Outward Bound course when I was a teenager, so I don't want to imply that I know anything about a thru-hike. However, to me, I think the mental challenges will be difficult enough now, as a relatively healthy adult. That being said, nature is one of my forms of therapy. I find serenity and peace in nature and it was one of the most important components of my recovery from my depression and other problems. But I did it in pieces, not setting out to hike 2100+ miles over 6 months.

I can't tell the OP what to do, especially since I haven't done a thru yet, but if I were in your shoes, I would get professional help and then take a shot at it in a couple years after I have hopefully balanced out and gotten my finances in order. My planning now, since I am truly serious about doing this, has helped me stay on track with keeping myself together and taking care of myself, mentally and physically. It could do the same for you.

YMMV

[CanadianEh]

Hi scheherazada (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/member.php?49700-scheherazada),

I don't think it's silly for you to want to hike the AT. And I don't think it's strange that you think it might help your depression either. Exercise has been proven to be extremely effective in combating clinical depression. The problem is many people with depression can barely get out of bed let alone exercise, which is where medication can be extremely helpful. Sounds like you are on the right track in that regard and are already exercises so great!

Since you are on medication, you are obviously under the care of a physician. Have you talked to him/her about your desire to do a long distance hike? Do they have any concerns? Are you seeing a therapist as well, and if so have you discussed your desire to hike the AT with him/her? They might have some insights into your health and mental well being that could help ensure that your journey ends a positive outcome. And by "positive income" I mean that whatever the outcome is, whether you make it 200 miles or 2000 miles, you leave it feeling good about yourself.

The only advice I can give is what I would recommend to any hiker on a long distance hike (myself included). Instead of worry about making it the whole trail, focus on making it only to your destination that day. When you get there celebrate! Your long term goal really should only be to make it to the next town. Throw a mini-party for yourself when you get there - you did great! Only then start worrying about the next town as a brand new adventure. Why stress about what is coming a month down the road? It only distracts from the enjoyment of the now.

That said, it is smart to be a bit fiscally prudent. Set aside some money before you leave that you absolutely will *not* spend on the trail. This is your "starting over" money once you are done. It might be for rent, for food, just money to keep you on your feet until you secure employment when you get back. When you complete your AT adventure you might feel a huge mix of emotions, including a bit of a "hangover" returning to the real world. Heck, I find I have this after 5 days in the backcountry. If you combine that feeling with being flat out broke and needing to be dependent on friends / family, well, I can't imagine that would help anyone's mood.

Good luck!

[Kookork]

Hi scheherazada (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/member.php?49700-scheherazada),

I don't think it's silly for you to want to hike the AT. And I don't think it's strange that you think it might help your depression either. Exercise has been proven to be extremely effective in combating clinical depression. The problem is many people with depression can barely get out of bed let alone exercise, which is where medication can be extremely helpful. Sounds like you are on the right track in that regard and are already exercises so great!

Since you are on medication, you are obviously under the care of a physician. Have you talked to him/her about your desire to do a long distance hike? Do they have any concerns? Are you seeing a therapist as well, and if so have you discussed your desire to hike the AT with him/her? They might have some insights into your health and mental well being that could help ensure that your journey ends a positive outcome. And by "positive income" I mean that whatever the outcome is, whether you make it 200 miles or 2000 miles, you leave it feeling good about yourself.

The only advice I can give is what I would recommend to any hiker on a long distance hike (myself included). Instead of worry about making it the whole trail, focus on making it only to your destination that day. When you get there celebrate! Your long term goal really should only be to make it to the next town. Throw a mini-party for yourself when you get there - you did great! Only then start worrying about the next town as a brand new adventure. Why stress about what is coming a month down the road? It only distracts from the enjoyment of the now.

That said, it is smart to be a bit fiscally prudent. Set aside some money before you leave that you absolutely will *not* spend on the trail. This is your "starting over" money once you are done. It might be for rent, for food, just money to keep you on your feet until you secure employment when you get back. When you complete your AT adventure you might feel a huge mix of emotions, including a bit of a "hangover" returning to the real world. Heck, I find I have this after 5 days in the backcountry. If you combine that feeling with being flat out broke and needing to be dependent on friends / family, well, I can't imagine that would help anyone's mood.

Good luck!






Hi CanadianEH
Welcome to WhiteBlaze and wish you to see around. If this is your third comment on this forum then I want to see hundreds more.

[CanadianEh]

Hi CanadianEH
Welcome to WhiteBlaze and wish you to see around. If this is your third comment on this forum then I want to see hundreds more.

Thanks Kookork! You just made my morning.

[Butterfly58]

I missed the post where she said she has "extreme bouts of mania." Was a post deleted or is someone playing doctor on here? I went back and read all 3 of her posts and missed it. Could someone please point me to that post or highlight where she said it?

[quasarr]

Am I crazy? Should I put it off and save up like a good little monkey, or should I live off Ramen this year and go gung ho? Difficulty: don't give me any crap for being fat, and don't tell me how risky it is for a female to hike alone; I got that part.

I 100% agree with Slo-go'en. Your concerns are misplaced! There is a lot of BS online and in person about female hikers, but most of it comes from people who: A. aren't female, and B. never hike. So how the heck would they know anything? I have hiked and traveled solo for months at a time, all over the world. And take my word for it, the AT is a safe environment for you to hike alone. As for being overweight, that won't matter if you can do the miles.

But MONEY is a HUGE issue! There are some people who are true hobos and just want to spend every night in the woods, maybe pay $3 for a shower at a camp ground every now and then. But if this is not you, then you will need to save a lot of money. Trust me, you don't want to be the only hiker who can't visit a bar or restaurant. You don't want to debate over whether you can pay $5.50 for a milkshake when it's blazing hot out and everyone else is getting one. You don't want to wear the same ripped up shoes for another 200 miles because you can't afford a new pair.

I say, save your money now so you can spend it on the trail.

[RCBear]

I think its fair to say at this point that any further comments on this thread are for our purposes only. The OP is long gone and im pretty sure is on to her next adventure planning on another forum. We catered to something that never really existed in the first place.

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