Psychological musings and thoughts...

[Outdoorsman88]

I am by no means an expert in the backpacking field, but nor am I a beginner. I am physically fit, have been hiking 8-10 miles a day in the mountains of NC with full pack for some time now, have decent enough willpower, but still find myself lacking the psychological "umph" to push me into committing 100% to doing the trail. My mind gets filled with "what if"s and "but"s, and all my negative mind seems to do is to feed them. Anyone else having these sorts of negative mindsets? My main struggle with the trail will most definitely be 90-95% mental. If I am going to undertake this monumental task of the trail, I need to put into place some sort of meditation practice or something of the sort in order to detach from the negative thoughts and just "be." Thoughts/opinions/rants/comments??

Be well,
Jeff

[ChinMusic]

I never figured out how to get rid of negative thoughts, and still made it.

[windels11]

That is what happens to me ... I just try to put my mind in a different place, I think about when I get to the top and how pretty it is.. It helps some of the times but I've never found a 100% way to get it out of my mind

[kidchill]

You just have to keep going...it's easier said then done, trust me. Once I hit Harper's Ferry, I really didn't want to hike anymore. At the same time I didn't want to quit either. I didn't really know what to do, so I just kept my head down, stayed outta town, and kept on moving. The first quarter of the trail is physical, the second quarter comes easy, the 3rd quarter is mental, and the 4th quarter is both mental and physical. This is just my opinion from my hike...

[Paul the Brit]

I would suggest reading Appalachian Trials (A psychological and emotional guide to successfully thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail) by Zach Davis http://appalachiantrials.com its a great read.

[Dogwood]

Do you also go into the fearful and negative "what if's" and "but's" each time you get into an automobile and head down the road? It's my assumption you do not. Instead, you major on the benefits of getting in that automobile and it helping you. If you can do this, and it's my assumption you do, you already possess the method for applying it to hiking.

Your use of words and how you are defining things tells me a lot too. Here's what you said, "If I am going to undertake this monumental task of the trail..."
Don't look at it as a monumental task. Chunking a larger opportunity down into smaller parts is one way you can do that. Also notice my choice of words in describing a hike, "a large opportunity" rather than "a monumental task." How we define things can determine how we feel about them! When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change. - Wayne Dwyer

[Pedaling Fool]

I am by no means an expert in the backpacking field, but nor am I a beginner. I am physically fit, have been hiking 8-10 miles a day in the mountains of NC with full pack for some time now, have decent enough willpower, but still find myself lacking the psychological "umph" to push me into committing 100% to doing the trail. My mind gets filled with "what if"s and "but"s, and all my negative mind seems to do is to feed them. Anyone else having these sorts of negative mindsets? My main struggle with the trail will most definitely be 90-95% mental. If I am going to undertake this monumental task of the trail, I need to put into place some sort of meditation practice or something of the sort in order to detach from the negative thoughts and just "be." Thoughts/opinions/rants/comments??

Be well,
Jeff
8-10 mpd, and then what? Are you going back home? If so, day hiking is nothing like long-distance hiking, where you have to set up camp every night and ration food and think about where your next water source is and your next resupply...

How much time do you have? Because you may want to attempt a long-distance hike, say from Spring to Damascus, or something, that will go a lot further in answering your question then any of us can answer it.

[slow mind]

Heres a story I posted a while back that helped me in thinking about "What if's"

http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?87993-Trail-User-name-stories-What-is-yours&p=1338406&highlight=#post1338406

[quasarr]

I dunno, while hiking I spend a lot if time thinking about all the people who have wronged me, all the things I should have said, (the jerk store called and they're running out of YOU!!), etc. Maybe it's not healthy but it is what it is.

PS, anybody remember the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Out West there are a lot of burned places from wildfires, and hiking through there I would always sing, "Up FROM the ashes OF disaster GROW the roses of SUCCESS!"

PPS I recently found a copy of the book Chitty Chitty Bang Bang at Thomas Knob shelter and discovered it was written by Ian Flemming of James Bond fame!!

PPPS Don't let your worries prevent you from attempting the trail. If you have to quit, fine! Are the AT police gonna come get you? No! You can always try again next year. Remember, up from the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success!!!

:banana

[quasarr]

Here it is!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GND10sWq0n0

[AttorneyAtLunch]

Obsess over the trail for next couple of months. Emotionally invest yourself into the idea so much that you won't let yourself fail.

[SipseyFreak]

I don't think the will to hike on can be conquered prior to getting on the trail. You have to be in the wanting-to-quit stage of hiking before you can make up your mind to either hike on or bail. At that point you have to think of it in chunks to complete ... or maybe that's just the way my head works ...

[hikerboy57]

Obsess over the trail for next couple of months. Emotionally invest yourself into the idea so much that you won't let yourself fail.
one injury and your entire emotional investment is wiped out.
instead of obsessing over the trail, obsess on being prepared.do your homework. read trail journals.see whats worked for others.you wont know when you've hit the wall until you've hit it.im going to find out for myself next year.

[ChinMusic]

I don't think one can understand the mental aspect of the game until you play it. Expect to be surprised.

[Dogwood]

Don't embark on a thru-hike with the intention of actually finishing and enjoying it being double minded wishy washy about it! Your odds of not happily fulfilling the desire will not be good.

[Dogwood]

KK(KayaK Karl) had a good one liner recently about thru-hiking - something like, "everything that I planned for didn't happen and everything that happened I didn't plan for."

[q-tip]

My goal was to get what I considered a "Genuine AT Experience". I defined that for me at 1,000 mi. So I walked from GA to WV. By the time I got to Harpers Ferry I could not take another step, but I achieved my goal and believe I got the experience of long distance hiking I sought. Just a thought....

[Malto]

I don't think one can understand the mental aspect of the game until you play it. Expect to be surprised.

Totally agree. Prehike you can sit on you butt reading trail journals dreaming of skipping up the trail in knickers. A few crappy days of weather, friends dropping out, nagging injuries, boredom, pain and suddenly there will be a little devil sitting on your shoulder telling you "you have met your objectives, you don't need to go on, your feet really hurt, you don't want a permanent injury, it wasn't ever about finishing." How you smack down that little devil when, not if, he pops up will dictate whether you finish. I suspect most people can look back during their life at how they have handled adversity to get an indication on how they will react when faced with mentally challenging moments.

[Kdoiron]

I think burning the bridges behind you is the best way I can rationalize the trail as far as fear is concerned. Knowing that the journey itself will transform you is incredibly enticing mentally, especially when you see your motivation as change. Accepting that you don't want the trail, but without a shadow of a doubt that you NEED it, will you be able to jump that last hurdle. Granted my situation involves the AT as a start-over point after a divorce, but you get the idea.

[Lone Wolf]

I am by no means an expert in the backpacking field, but nor am I a beginner. I am physically fit, have been hiking 8-10 miles a day in the mountains of NC with full pack for some time now, have decent enough willpower, but still find myself lacking the psychological "umph" to push me into committing 100% to doing the trail. My mind gets filled with "what if"s and "but"s, and all my negative mind seems to do is to feed them. Anyone else having these sorts of negative mindsets? My main struggle with the trail will most definitely be 90-95% mental. If I am going to undertake this monumental task of the trail, I need to put into place some sort of meditation practice or something of the sort in order to detach from the negative thoughts and just "be." Thoughts/opinions/rants/comments??
just walk til you've had enuf of walkin'. them mountains ain't goin' nowhere

[hikerboy57]

just walk til you've had enuf of walkin'. them mountains ain't goin' nowhere
hmmmm. interesting strategy.

i think it'll work.

[A.T.Lt]

I can't means i won't.

[Meriadoc]

just walk til you've had enuf of walkin'. them mountains ain't goin' nowhere

This. A thousand times this.

If you truly desire to thru hike then you will thru hike (barring injury, financial troubles, etc.). It sounds like you don't really want to thru hike. And that's okay. Nothing says that if you want to hike for a long distance that you have to hike for six months. Hike for as long as is right for you. There is no reason to thru hike unless you want to and you are getting something out of it. A thru hike is a pretty arbitrary distance. I found that my driving reason for hiking was fulfilled by mile 2000 or so. I finished the AT just for the heck of it really, and because I had the legs and I love hiking.

If deep down you really truly want to go hiking then do it despite any negative thoughts. It's a risk, sure. But it is very worthwhile. Even two weeks on the trail will change your life.

Those without fear are not brave; they are fearless. Those who are afraid and push through anyhow are brave and courageous.
But if you want to go the meditative route, you can dissolve fear that way too. I found it much easier to truly face my fear through meditation post-hike (because my experiences put me in a much improved state) but user results may vary :D.

[frogmonkey]

I read Appalachian Trials, and it was good. I've also been reading books by people who have completed thru-hikes (almost the same as reading journals), and I love getting a glimpse of somebody's hike, what happened to them, how they dealt with it and whatnot. I find I have less what-if's because now I just know it won't be a what-if, it's going to happen. I'm also going to start doing yoga to help with meditation to clear my head.

I also think that if you're ready to do it, you're ready to do it, and there won't be any negative mindsets anymore. Maybe you just need to wait until you're ready rather than trying to push yourself in that direction.

[windels11]

This. A thousand times this. If you truly desire to thru hike then you will thru hike (barring injury, financial troubles, etc.). It sounds like you don't really want to thru hike. And that's okay. Nothing says that if you want to hike for a long distance that you have to hike for six months. Hike for as long as is right for you. There is no reason to thru hike unless you want to and you are getting something out of it. A thru hike is a pretty arbitrary distance. I found that my driving reason for hiking was fulfilled by mile 2000 or so. I finished the AT just for the heck of it really, and because I had the legs and I love hiking. If deep down you really truly want to go hiking then do it despite any negative thoughts. It's a risk, sure. But it is very worthwhile. Even two weeks on the trail will change your life. Those without fear are not brave; they are fearless. Those who are afraid and push through anyhow are brave and courageous. But if you want to go the meditative route, you can dissolve fear that way too. I found it much easier to truly face my fear through meditation post-hike (because my experiences put me in a much improved state) but user results may vary :D. great way to think about it!!! Some people hike to hike and stop when they wanna but some people hike to thru ! Great advice!

[Tipi Walter]

Why worry and fret? Why fixate on something big in the future when you can throw a bedroll out tonight and start getting your bag nights? Who knows, bag night fever might hit you hard and you get born again hard into the outdoor church of Miss Nature. If you do you'll fall in love and ZAP no more worries. If you can't sleep out tonight in the backyard because you hate it, well, the whole AT thing might not work.

[michaelosborne]

I would suggest reading Appalachian Trials (A psychological and emotional guide to successfully thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail) by Zach Davis http://appalachiantrials.com its a great read.
+1 on Appalachian Trials, it tackles the whole psychological aspect of thru hiking the AT and has helped me a lot as I plan for my hike.

[aficion]

One really must both love being out there, and be willing to endure great mental and physical hardship, in order to accomplish a cherished goal. Otherwise, no matter how you prepare, logistically, physically, or mentally...you'll quit. Everyone has their own reasons for wanting to try it, those who finish mostly want it bad. Real bad.

[WolfCBP]

I don't remember where I read it, but they suggested a "Why?" card. (Laminated)

They suggested you do some soul searching and put down legitimate "Why" reasons you are hiking. Stuff deep within. That way, when the mentals decide to shift negative, you can read the card and possibly regain positive encouragement since it was your own reasons from your heart.

But, like others said, expect the unexpected.

I will be on the trail in 2016, so I will just be learning all I can from these fine folks to help discover some of the "what-ifs" and how they handled them.

[Double Wide]

On miserable days, when I'm wet, cold, tired, blistered, hungry, and feel like I can't go on, I hope to be able to tell myself that as bad as it is, it's better than sitting at my desk, dealing with a job I hate and an incompetent boss. I'm treating my hike like a divorce--my job is a soul-sucking ex that everyone told me I should never marry, and three years later, I've had enough. I don't care how good the sex is a couple times a month, the other daily shiat just ain't worth it. I'm breaking free of a toxic relationship, and doing what I really want to do! Or something like that...

[Shroomer]

Hey Outdoorsman88,

Good question and some really good replies. For me it's starting with the goal of finishing a thru hike, but then letting go of that once I'm on trail. You set yourself up with as much information and physical training as you can get, and then just start walking. It's the walking that will take you to the end. For me, the idea of hiking several thousand miles over mountains, snow and bad trails with river crossings and sheer and total exhaustion, is just too much to take at one gulp. It's just too damn big. But each day is not the whole trail. I can hike one day, even some pretty darn hard days. Each day is a wonder in nature, a step out of my tent into adventure. I never know what's gonna happen or where I'll be by the end of that day, or who I'll have met and on and on.

I've noticed on both the CDT and the PCT that many of the people I met who later dropped off trail, some of whom where great hikers dead set on completing their Triple Crowns, were the most goal oriented people on trail. They were going to make it to Canada! But when the 1,000 mile blues set in around Colorado or up near Mt. Shasta in CA, their focus on a goal was not enough to sustain them. It's just too damn far. While those who simply liked being out there, eventually walked over the border into Canada, kind of surprised they'd just completed 2,600 miles.

Let go of the goal and learn to love walking. Learn to love living in a tent and cooking when your fingers are cold and all the other mundane things you do everyday on trail for hundreds of days. Things will get bad and you'll wonder what in hell you're doing out there. Take a zero, maybe a few and don't make the decision to quit when you're in the funk. Then begin to focus on the fun you're having on just the day in which you're hiking.

I find that if I'm loving the day to day life on trail, loving walking from morning to night, and not at all focusing on the end point, completion becomes inevitable.

Great question.

[Dogwood]

If you want to long distance hike it helps to know you already like hiking. From there, learn to accept/adapt to/conform to/flow with the long distance hiking lifestyle. Don't fight it. Accept that as your lifestyle. Be content with knowing that is your home. Love your hiking home as much as you might your kitchen, living room, bathroom, and bedroom somewhere in a house. Even if it is for only 6 months. Issues exist back in that house, city, etc and with that motor vehicle; issues exist also when one hikes. The issues are just different in some ways. Personally manage yourself at home in the house, city, and with the car, job etc and those personal management skills translate into hiking life AND vice versa. Eventually, one can get so familiar with the hiking lifestyle and the hike(trail) as home going back to that other "stuff" becomes the greater issue! I waiver back and forth, sometimes with feet in both worlds at the same time.

[4eyedbuzzard]

Nothing wrong with "what ifs and buts". You have some of them everyday in most things you do. It's why you have a spare tire for your car. It's why you price shop for many things. It's why hikers carry a small first aid/blister kit, rain gear, pole sleeve, ripstop/duct tape, etc. All "what ifs and buts". But none of them stop you from doing reasonable things - and thru-hiking is a reasonable thing. So just go walk until you need to stop.

[Grampie]

Life is made up of a lot of, "what if's." Don't let them consume your ability to thru-hike. My salvation was to think of all the other folks who have done what you want to do. Ask yourself. If they could do it, why can't I.
I thru-hiked as a 66 year old guy with very littke backpacking experience and did it. Think of the positive side. Take your journey as a personal challange.
Happy trails to you.

[snail2010]

Just decide you're gonna give it a go and head out. It'll take a couple of months actually living on trail before you can say if it's for you or not. My thru-hike experience on trail was a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. It was amazing even during the downs! The trail is a really great place for getting to know yourself. Maybe you'll go the whole distance, maybe you won't. It will be an awesome learning experience either way!

[Pressure D]

There is a lot of good advice given here. I really like Schroomers. That's what worked for me !When I finished my thru I didn't want it to end!!

[hikerboy57]

There is a lot of good advice given here. I really like Schroomers. That's what worked for me !When I finished my thru I didn't want it to end!!
+2 .

[Son Driven]

I am by no means an expert in the backpacking field, but nor am I a beginner. I am physically fit, have been hiking 8-10 miles a day in the mountains of NC with full pack for some time now, have decent enough willpower, but still find myself lacking the psychological "umph" to push me into committing 100% to doing the trail. My mind gets filled with "what if"s and "but"s, and all my negative mind seems to do is to feed them. Anyone else having these sorts of negative mindsets? My main struggle with the trail will most definitely be 90-95% mental. If I am going to undertake this monumental task of the trail, I need to put into place some sort of meditation practice or something of the sort in order to detach from the negative thoughts and just "be." Thoughts/opinions/rants/comments??

Be well,
Jeff

On March 7, 2013 I summit-ed Springer mountain, over weight, and 56 years of age. Spent my first zero day at Stover Creek shelter just 2.8 miles north of Springer, recovering from hypothermia from the night before. I thought to myself, if I was one of these younger hikers looking at myself, I would think, there is no way this guy is going to make it. He is to old, to fat, and has hypothermia, because he has the wrong gear. However the creator of the trail, purposed in my heart to hike the trail, and would have not given me something to do that was beyond what He knew I could do. Yes, it took me seven months, and yes I did flip flop at Swatara Gap, but I did finish the trail on 10/7/2013. For me it was the Spirit that is within me rather than body, or mind that got me through.

[nickgann]

Stop thinking, but embrace when you do. Rather than dwelling in the fight of what-ifs, treat the thoughts as an opportunity to explore something deeper within yourself. The what-ifs are rarely the disease, they are usually just the symptom.

[Shroomer]

There is a lot of good advice given here. I really like Schroomers. That's what worked for me !When I finished my thru I didn't want it to end!!

Hey Pressure D. At the end of each thru hike, I feel so good physically, spiritually and emotionally that I could just keep on walking up into Canada if I didn't miss my wife so much. Being an old married dude who still loves his wife, the only really hard part of any thru hike for me is just that, we miss each other. She hasn't piled my stuff on the porch yet, so I count myself blessed and the reunions are absolutely killer! But as for continuing on hiking, I'd probably just keep on going till the snow stopped me. Once you find your trail rhythm, usually after 3 or 4 weeks, it's just such a wonderful life out there.

[Shroomer]

On March 7, 2013 I summit-ed Springer mountain, over weight, and 56 years of age. Spent my first zero day at Stover Creek shelter just 2.8 miles north of Springer, recovering from hypothermia from the night before. I thought to myself, if I was one of these younger hikers looking at myself, I would think, there is no way this guy is going to make it. He is to old, to fat, and has hypothermia, because he has the wrong gear. However the creator of the trail, purposed in my heart to hike the trail, and would have not given me something to do that was beyond what He knew I could do. Yes, it took me seven months, and yes I did flip flop at Swatara Gap, but I did finish the trail on 10/7/2013. For me it was the Spirit that is within me rather than body, or mind that got me through.

Congratulations and way to go Son Driven, and so true. The physical stuff can be really hard, and in some cases catastrophic and hike ending, but it isn't usually what stops people from completing a thru hike. I've noticed a sadness of spirit that comes on in some early and in some much later, and is a prelude to the decision to step off trail. Bad blisters, cold or giardia or just the day to day toughness all exacerbate it, but they aren't the thing. The joy just goes out in some and at that point the hike is too much and it's over. And a section hike may in fact be just right for them. But strength of spirit is what pulls many through a tough day and gets them out there for more, and it's the most important thing people either bring to the trail, or gain while they're hiking it. It's what ultimately brings them to the finish. Way to go!

[Dogwood]

Very much appreciated some of the posts. TU for sharing.

[Nick P]

OD88,
I feel your mindset, and worry most about the solo part of my thru attempt next year, especially as a SOBO. That is, I worry about not having an external source of motivation. In my professional life I succeed or fail based on the estimations of others, and I guess this has taken over more of my life than I'd like to admit. To consider that for 6 months only an internal sanction, only me, myself, and I can call me out and get my body moving is a major shift in thinking.

I would only add to what has been said above the old advice from the stoic philosopher Epictetus; he says that when you are preparing to bathe you should try to "represent to yourself" the incidents usual in a bath--people will splash you, others will be loud, etc.--then you are better prepared for when they do happen, for they are not good or bad in and of themselves, but are good or bad in our own estimation. This sounds simple, but it's really the only recourse we have. It implies that we have read whiteblaze (lol) and found out as best we can what is usual for a thru.

Here's his own words:

"When you set about any action, remind yourself of what nature the action is. If you are going to bathe, represent to yourself the incidents usual in the bath, -- some persons pouring out, others pushing in, others scolding, others pilfering. And thus you will more safely go about this action, if you say to yourself, "I will now go to bathe, and keep my own will in harmony with nature." And so with regard to every other action. For thus, if any impediment arises in bathing, you will be able to say, "It was not only to bathe that I desired, but to keep my will in harmony with nature; and I shall not keep it thus, if I am out of humor at things that happen."

All the best,
Nick

[Shroomer]

Hey Nick,

One of the great beauties of the trail is that the usual confusion of life boils down to will it rain today? Am I hungry or cold, happy or sad fascinated by a conversation or need some quiet? The simplicity of these kinds of questions, however, require a very flexible attitude, an ability to follow nature's path and change course in a moment, without being caught up in whatever plans I may have initially preferred. It may mean hunkering down in a storm and forgoing a deadline I've set for myself. The arbitrary nature of goals becomes all too evident in the face of nature's demands. Living for today and whatever that may bring, becomes a prime quality for thru hikers. A long trail is an exercise, a great training ground, in learning to go with the flow.

On my first thru hike I started with folks I did not know, but over the course of the summer traveled with several trail families I grew to love. I'm social and that was wonderful. Trail people are some of the best I've ever met. On my second thru hike, I hiked with several people for 1,800 miles but eventually wanted to go faster, so I lit out on my own for the nearly 900 miles to the finish. It turned out to be some of the most rewarding hiking I've ever done. I came to grips with being alone and found that I liked myself for company just as much as I'd liked hiking with friends. This was a revelation as I'd never been alone for so long. There were stretches of 4 and 5 days between resupply when I saw no one and I was still OK, better than OK, deeply happy in fact. It was more a walking meditation that moved through past losses and happiness to a kind of quiet peace in the woods. One of the great things to come out of it was the knowledge that the life of a thru hiker is just as rewarding with or without other people. The motivation was not the approval of others, or even what I sought for myself, but more the simple act of putting one foot in front of the other, day after day, rain or shine, following a trail of beauty and adventure all for myself. You're gonna love it.

[Penn-J]

I need to put into place some sort of meditation practice or something of the sort in order to detach from the negative thoughts and just "be." Thoughts/opinions/rants/comments??

I enjoyed reading this thread. Have you ever heard of a guy named Echart Tolle? I highly recommend his books and watching him on You Tube. If you are somewhat familiar with meditation practices, it teaches you "thoughts" are not who you are. The brain is an organ that secretes "thoughts" like your liver secretes bile.
Our brains haven't really evolved from when we were hunter/gatherers. The organ "worries". It wants your attention.
You have a choice. Every time that organ secretes negative thoughts (which is very, very often and they are 95% repetitive and useless) you can let them grab your attention and take you to dark places, or you can recognize that they are only thoughts.

There is no way to stop them. Like trying to stop a raging river with your hands. Just get out of the river onto the shore and watch them go. (Then set up your tent, get a good fire going and be at peace) lol

I agree with Dogwood when he says that if you enjoy trail life, you will finish.

I would also suggest reading Thoreau, John Muir, Ed Abbey, Colin Fletcher, Annie Dillard, etc..
Just like "We are what we eat" I also feel, "We are what we read" If you fill your head with good nature writing, you will just want to be out in nature as much as possible. I have always found these writers more comforting then scripture.

Anyway, good luck on your hike!

[Autummyst]

This is one of the best threads I've ever seen on whiteblaze. This conversation is very refreshing and I hope I run across you folks out on the trail at some point. I feel that you've all reflected the way I think and what I think is important in how we navigate life/trail/etc, so no need for me to expand on any points. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing all of your thoughts.

Penn, I love your author suggestions. This made me think of this absolutely stunning video which I also found moving. The video is set to the background of Frost reading his own poem, "Birches". It was made by a thru hiker from the class of 2013 who is also a videographer

http://vimeo.com/62838131

[nickgann]

Shroomer, your ideas about arbitrary goals is perfection. Thank you for a beautiful perspective.

[HikerMom58]

Hey Nick,

One of the great beauties of the trail is that the usual confusion of life boils down to will it rain today? Am I hungry or cold, happy or sad fascinated by a conversation or need some quiet? The simplicity of these kinds of questions, however, require a very flexible attitude, an ability to follow nature's path and change course in a moment, without being caught up in whatever plans I may have initially preferred. It may mean hunkering down in a storm and forgoing a deadline I've set for myself. The arbitrary nature of goals becomes all too evident in the face of nature's demands. Living for today and whatever that may bring, becomes a prime quality for thru hikers. A long trail is an exercise, a great training ground, in learning to go with the flow.

On my first thru hike I started with folks I did not know, but over the course of the summer traveled with several trail families I grew to love. I'm social and that was wonderful. Trail people are some of the best I've ever met. On my second thru hike, I hiked with several people for 1,800 miles but eventually wanted to go faster, so I lit out on my own for the nearly 900 miles to the finish. It turned out to be some of the most rewarding hiking I've ever done. I came to grips with being alone and found that I liked myself for company just as much as I'd liked hiking with friends. This was a revelation as I'd never been alone for so long. There were stretches of 4 and 5 days between resupply when I saw no one and I was still OK, better than OK, deeply happy in fact. It was more a walking meditation that moved through past losses and happiness to a kind of quiet peace in the woods. One of the great things to come out of it was the knowledge that the life of a thru hiker is just as rewarding with or without other people. The motivation was not the approval of others, or even what I sought for myself, but more the simple act of putting one foot in front of the other, day after day, rain or shine, following a trail of beauty and adventure all for myself. You're gonna love it.

Shroomer I enjoyed reading this so much! :>) Thanks for sharing!

I agree there's something about trail people. :D

Some people charge their batteries by surrounding themselves with other people; those are the extroverts. Being alone in focused solitude is draining for extroverts. I'm an extrovert, my "battery" would be drained completely in 4-5 days. I would not be OK with that.

Introverts do their best thinking alone. Extroverts like to talk it out with others.

My daughter is an introvert but got extremely lonely on the trail at times. It seems she learned that she liked to be with people on the trail more than she enjoyed being alone. I think that is because she had plenty of "alone time" as she hiked but too much alone time is not good thing either. It's all about balance.

True happiness is found in fulfilling relationships.... it's who we are.

We do need to find deep inner peace within ourselves and "love" ourselves for who we are & who we are not, things that affected us that were out of our control etc.. I believe the trail is great for times of introspection.

I, personally, can't find those times on the trail for introspection b/c I feel too vulnerable, as a woman, alone hiking in the woods. That's just me. I do plenty of that in my alone times off the trail.

I'm not good with sticking to an agenda, I like going with the flow. I'm not task oriented, so stopping to smell the roses works well for me on the trail.

In the end, I believe, the trail will teach you a lot about yourself if you are teachable.

I loved the "walking meditation"- it is that, for so many hikers!! :sun

[clb]

This is one of the best threads I've ever seen on whiteblaze. This conversation is very refreshing and I hope I run across you folks out on the trail at some point. I feel that you've all reflected the way I think and what I think is important in how we navigate life/trail/etc, so no need for me to expand on any points. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing all of your thoughts.


I completely agree, a wonderfully positive insightful post!

[Shroomer]

I agree, this is a marvelous thread. Thanks Outdoorsman88, the question has elicited some great introspection from everybody. And thanks for the kind words, Hikermom58, Nickgann, Autummyst and clb. There really is something exceptional about trail people and it's a a good part of what makes the experience of thru hiking what it is. From accidental Trail Angels to those who make a choice to support us in our craziness and be part of the fun themselves, and then the thru hikers who as a group are some of the most interesting, intelligent and deeply spiritual people I've ever met. When I planned to hike a few weeks in the deserts of CA a few years ago, I found the experience of life in the wild and the wonderful people I had hooked up with, just too good to leave. By the end of summer I found myself in Canada with a new passion in life. Although I'd backpacked since the early '60s, none of those week and two week long trips came close to the experience of living in the woods and mountains for a full season. I now understand why the mountain men of past centuries chose to just walk out and not come back. It also seemed to hit on some deep American core experiences we all still hold just below the skin, of life on a Conestoga wagon and walking across the continent, or being one of the Native Americans who lived so close to the land that they still hold its sacredness to heart. The life of a nomad is deeply joyful. On a bone marrow level it just feels right.

On the PCT I met a wonderful, sarcastic and very funny Kiwi who had been told by his wife to, "Go hike that trail and get your smile back!" He had been miserable at home and needed a big change, and although he'd never done any serious backpacking, he headed off to hike our Western mountains. He was fun to walk with, but by mid-hike he hated the trail. He was done with it. He was tired and wanted to get home to see his wife and kids. He was really funny, but did nothing but complain about life on trail. When I asked him why he didn't just leave and go home, he told me he was from a family that finished things and he needed to complete the hike. He crossed into Canada two days before I did in mid September. He flew home a few days later and I figured I never see him again.

The next year at the PCT Kick Off at Lake Moreno just north of the Mexican border, who walks up the lane between the sea of UL tents, but my Kiwi friend. I couldn't believe it. I cussed him roundly as we met, reminding him of how much he hated the trail, and asked him what in hell he was doing back in the US at a trail event. He looked down, blushing and said, "I know, I know. When I got home in September, I was so happy to see my family and to be back home. But by Christmas I couldn't stop dreaming of hiking another trail." He was back here to attempt the CDT. The following year he hiked the AT and he's been back every year since to hike our American trails. He's a "ruined" man who's found himself through life on the long trail.

The trail is a teacher as Hikermom58 says. It's also a home and a job and a vacation and a friend and the best adventure of your life.

Merry Christmas and the best of luck in the nearly new year to all the 2014 AT hikers! I too look forward to meeting you all.

Shroomer