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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sara View Post
    I also get annoyed with the "protective" role that some people take... despite their good intentions.
    I have seen such 'protection' being done for reasons of blocking the other from meeting others/potential mates - which is a very negative and almost deceptive role to play.

  2. #62
    Registered User Hot Flash's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just Bill View Post
    I ask because that question comes up, and I wonder if it's because the unwritten gentleman's rule should be unwritten no longer.
    Yes, it's sexist.

    Personally I've never had any problem putting someone in their place when they needed it, and don't need to be treated like I'm a second-class weakling who can't look after herself.

    A guy wants to stare? I don't care, go ahead. I'll stare right back at him. He wants to make rude comments? Go ahead, I can verbally cut him down faster than he can imagine, and chances are I'm better, faster, and smarter at it than he is. He puts his hands on me? He'd better be ready to be stabbed or shot.

    In 30 years of solo backpacking, nobody has ever threatened me on the trail, and I doubt anyone ever will.
    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by psyenz View Post
    there is the Golden Rule, but not everyone wants to be treated the way I want to be treated; there are cultural/societal differences. the platinum rule, ...
    No need for a platinum rule the golden rule still applies. You want to be treated for who you are, including your personal issues and those aspects of you respected - do that for others for who they are.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by RN-PCT2015 View Post
    I once offered my seat on the subway to an obviously pregnant woman and she was actually insulted that I thought she might want to sit down. For guys with old fashioned views of how to behave, it can be a mine field out there but all things considered this is hardly a major concern especially on the trail.
    I would have done the same. And I think offering your seat to anyone who might need it more than you for physical reasons (elderly, handicapped, and yeah, just plain old pregnant) is just plain courtesy and not yet "out of fashion". I'm sure my young adult children would do the same.

  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4eyedbuzzard View Post
    Do mean to imply that it would be boring to only discuss such topics as the relative antimicrobial virtues of the supermicronic squishy filter over that of the SUL short wavelength DNA scrambler?
    How about the interrelational conduct between xx chromosomes and day chromosomes within the confines of an inebriant filled establishment?


    Quote Originally Posted by 4eyedbuzzard View Post
    I think part of my disagreement with some guy's behavior is that they too often (some almost always) assume a protective father/big brother role when in the presence of almost any woman, even when it's not warranted (I would agree that occasionally it is, and will likely be welcomed). We all have varying degrees of "sheepdog" in us - but when it's turned on 24/7 it becomes tedious, even obnoxious, to be around.
    (Love the sheepdog analogy!)


    I can't staaaaaand how some guys talk to me. (Especially older guys, no offense.) I sometimes get dismissed so easily! I was at an auto-parts store a couple weeks back looking for that greasy stuff you apply to brakes before you install them. I was dressed nicely, had heels on, coach sunglasses, a new bright yellow purse, hair done ect. He started off with a false charm spiel. Lots of sweeties, lots of where's your boyfriend questions. I can't even remember exactly what he said that made him such a hassle.


    And older women. Wow can they be derisive.


    Not you. You're cool, Buzz. You know... For an old guy.

  6. #66
    Registered User Sierra2015's Avatar
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    Day is "xy." Damn autocorrect hates me.

  7. #67
    Registered User hobbs's Avatar
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    Now is what JB trying to equate as gender rolls or is it sexism cause I am kind of lost on it now...
    My love for life is quit simple .i get uo in the moring and then i go to bed at night. What I do inbween is to occupy my time. Cary Grant

  8. #68
    Registered User Sierra2015's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RN-PCT2015 View Post
    I once offered my seat on the subway to an obviously pregnant woman and she was actually insulted that I thought she might want to sit down. For guys with old fashioned views of how to behave, it can be a mine field out there but all things considered this is hardly a major concern especially on the trail.
    I can't stand when women spurn good manners.

    Giving up your seat would have made you feel good! But now you have this sour memory.

  9. #69

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sierra2015 View Post
    You're my inspiration for treating others with respect and kindness. ^_^
    Thanks Sierra, I try. :>) I'm not perfect. I can get mad/ upset too & kindness goes out the window. I try not to go there!

    I find this thread interesting & I'm chiming in a lot b/c, my daughter had a creepy guy hiking with her.

    Just an example of one of things she had to deal with- He tried to match her hiking pace.
    She was a stronger hiker than he was, but regardless ,he would hike faster to try and catch up with her. (She avoided taking breaks so she could stay ahead of him) When she tried hiking slower, so he would pass, he would slow down too. That's just for starters....

    Some people aren't good at confronting people like that. She's not. I can understand that. It makes for an uncomfortable situation.
    The solution for her was to "jump ahead" with others in her group. She went back & filled in the gap later. That's harder to do when you are attempting a thru-hike.

  10. #70
    Registered User canoe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RCBear View Post
    Yep. SO the woman can make a move on a man but a man cant make a move a woman. double standard..clearly

    Mutual Respect
    Pretty much. Overt moves by a woman are easily dismissed by a man that wouldn't be interested. Not so easily dismissed without concern the other way around if the "gentleman" comes off a little creepy. Men don't have that concern. If they do, they probably are a bit too dainty for long distance hiking[/QUOTE]

    Again double standard. On the trail off the trail, it doesnt matter. Creepy is a differant story, by man or beast or by woman

  11. #71

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    I'm amazed at how such a simple original message can be considered offensive to some. Or that anyone would find it a problem that a man wants to behave as a gentleman still in todays world. Yes, we can hike with the best of them, and sail and climb, and whatever else we wish to do! I have never considered it a matter of 'equal', as many things can be equal but still different. And as a woman, who has been involved in a lot of male-dominant activities and work environments too, I do still appreciate respectful behavior. And will do my best to reciprocate.
    It isn't that I can't defend myself as much as that I shouldn't have to (ie unwanted advances, stalking, etc).

    Thanks, Bill, I agree with Sierra and HikerMom!

  12. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sierra2015 View Post
    How about the interrelational conduct between xx chromosomes and day chromosomes within the confines of an inebriant filled establishment?


    (Love the sheepdog analogy!)
    Not mine, an old concept. A well known essay on the subject here - http://mwkworks.com/onsheepwolvesandsheepdogs.html


    I can't staaaaaand how some guys talk to me. (Especially older guys, no offense.) I sometimes get dismissed so easily! I was at an auto-parts store a couple weeks back looking for that greasy stuff you apply to brakes before you install them. I was dressed nicely, had heels on, coach sunglasses, a new bright yellow purse, hair done ect. He started off with a false charm spiel. Lots of sweeties, lots of where's your boyfriend questions. I can't even remember exactly what he said that made him such a hassle.


    And older women. Wow can they be derisive.


    Not you. You're cool, Buzz. You know... For an old guy.
    I'm NOT old DAMNIT - I'm only 8 in dog years! Just a "well seasoned" occasional sheepdog.

  13. #73

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    I'm just lucky my wife overlooked my first dozen or so "unwanted advances" and eventually wore down

  14. #74
    Registered User canoe's Avatar
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    These women on the trail are a self reliant bunch. Have already handled these situation before off the trail. And evidently have confidence they can handle the situation on the trail... Or else they would nt be there. So are yougays and gals saying the woman is the weeker sex. I am hearing alot of this in this thread. Where are all the libbers. Again its about respect. If a man of woman is getting attention she or he does not want...move on up the trail. Its that simple. As someone already has said one can attach oneself with a group that one is comfortable.

  15. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by canoe View Post
    Pretty much. Overt moves by a woman are easily dismissed by a man that wouldn't be interested. Not so easily dismissed without concern the other way around if the "gentleman" comes off a little creepy. Men don't have that concern. If they do, they probably are a bit too dainty for long distance hiking
    Again double standard. On the trail off the trail, it doesnt matter. Creepy is a differant story, by man or beast or by woman[/QUOTE]

    Not everything has to have a single standard Canoe. Things don't have to be equal to be fair. I think if anyone doesn't get what I am saying about the role reversals not being equal footed, nor should they be, is not understanding the dynamics between opposite sex's interactions. Men can intimidate women in the outdoors. Very few women can intimidate a man on the trail. Boardroom and office settings, sure. But not in the settings we are discussing. It's really just that simple.

    Sent from my Galaxy Note 2 using Tapatalk 2

  16. #76

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    This is one of them areas where the Golden Rule of: "Do unto others as you would have them do to you..." can really get you in trouble if you're a guy.

  17. #77
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    The Golden Rule is great, but it works both ways.
    Judge me on my behavior - not on others' behavior, and not on your past experiences with other people.
    Just because I'm a man it doesn't mean I'm a stalker and it doesn't mean I need a lecture on how to behave around others.
    This isn't Pleasantville.

  18. #78
    Registered User canoe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hot Flash View Post
    Yes, it's sexist.

    Personally I've never had any problem putting someone in their place when they needed it, and don't need to be treated like I'm a second-class weakling who can't look after herself.

    A guy wants to stare? I don't care, go ahead. I'll stare right back at him. He wants to make rude comments? Go ahead, I can verbally cut him down faster than he can imagine, and chances are I'm better, faster, and smarter at it than he is. He puts his hands on me? He'd better be ready to be stabbed or shot.

    In 30 years of solo backpacking, nobody has ever threatened me on the trail, and I doubt anyone ever will.
    Good post HF

  19. #79
    Registered User canoe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RCBear View Post
    Again double standard. On the trail off the trail, it doesnt matter. Creepy is a differant story, by man or beast or by woman
    Not everything has to have a single standard Canoe. Things don't have to be equal to be fair. I think if anyone doesn't get what I am saying about the role reversals not being equal footed, nor should they be, is not understanding the dynamics between opposite sex's interactions. Men can intimidate women in the outdoors. Very few women can intimidate a man on the trail. Boardroom and office settings, sure. But not in the settings we are discussing. It's really just that simple.

    Sent from my Galaxy Note 2 using Tapatalk 2[/QUOTE] I am very clear in my understanding the dynamics between the opposite sex interaction. If a woman is intimatdated in the woods it means she is intimadated out of the woods too,

  20. #80
    Registered User canoe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by canoe View Post
    . So are yougays and gals saying the woman is the weeker sex.
    Sorry about the spelling. I meant to say guys and gals. Dont want anybody thinking I am a sexest bigot and a homophobe. LOL I am neither. Just playing devils advocate

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