The author was not well grounded is my take.Originally Posted by rickb
If that post was too long for you to read, here are the cliff notes:
(1) Take the sketchiest person you met on the trail. Now pretend that person is stalking you trying to 'be in a relationship' that is extraordinarily one sided. Multiply that by 3 or 4.
(2) Add in offensive comments directed to the sole woman present with no one standing up for her.
That was the post in a nutshell. Very disturbing.
I saw none of that behavior**. Much of my hike I had a female companion so I guess I could have missed some of the 'guy' talk. I think this experience is not at all typical. But if it happens even once, that is too much. Look out for our fellow hikers!
**I must edit that. I saw misogynistic behavior at least once in a rather personal and complicated situation. (This was not stalking but incessant gender charged joking - nothing dangerous.) And the persons concerned didn't realize that it was out of line even when I eventually called the perpetrator on it. Months later, after more experience of the same behavior from the same person, the woman involved came back and told me that she had changed her mind and understood it to be abusive. Misogyny runs deep in this culture, deep enough that it is often unrecognized and even dismissed as humor, even by women. And we are very carefree with our words. Words have power.
Last edited by Meriadoc; 02-23-2014 at 21:14.
Well grounded or not, the actions of others are clearly far out of line. Certainly far enough to be called stalking.
Step 1: Stop the stalking and abuse. (And straighten out these people! Teach them that it is wrong and hope they apologize and make it better.)
Step 2: Help out the OP with perspective and how to handle different situations.
I think she learned and grew from this experience as difficult as it was. (Still not justifying the experience - one can learn from anything.) The shame is that the experience added a wall to trusting others. And that is one of the marvelous aspects of the trail and of life - trusting and letting go.
Last edited by Meriadoc; 02-23-2014 at 20:58.
[QUOTE=Meriadoc;1852883]Well grounded or not, the actions of others are clearly far out of line. Certainly far enough to be called stalking.
Step 1: Stop the stalking and abuse.
Step 2: Help out the OP with perspective and how to handle different situations.
I think she learned and grew from this experience as difficult as it was. (Still not justifying the experience - one can learn from anything.) The shame is that the experience added a wall to trusting others. And that is one of the marvelous aspects of the trail and of life - trusting and letting go.[/QUOTE
Stalking is not to be condoned or tolerated..... not my point at all... as far as trusting and letting go, one must exercise some judgement in whom one places their trust, on the trail or anywhere else......letting go of bad memories and habits is great...letting go of your better judgement...not so much.
I misunderstood what you meant by 'grounded.' I agree with you.
Okay. I'm officially freaked out.
Can't say I blame you. Maybe if you read the journals of some women who thru hiked last year you might get a less distorted view of solo thruing as a female. Hope it helps.
Don't be. Most, if not all, of the guys you'll meet on the trail will be nothing like the ones the author described. The worst my daughter has experienced was more the following puppy type.
"That's the thing about possum innards - they's just as good the second day." - Jed Clampett
No reason to be, trust me, if you can live in the big city and hold your own, you can hike the AT.
I don't want to knock the woman that wrote the post back in 2006, I have never been in her shoes and I'm not in a position to judge. Having said that, most women I know in situations like that, just speak up early and say something like "I really don't want to hang out with you". A little bit of honesty early on, goes a long way to keep stuff like this from getting to the point of needing to be mean or scared . But than again, you know all that, so I'm preaching the choir.
Last edited by bfayer; 02-23-2014 at 21:38.
Sierra, from what I know of 6 months on the trail, this tale is an outlier. A far out outlier.
I agree with Aficion that the biggest part of this is good judgment also known as simple street smarts. Who to trust, who to let get close, and how to set limits. All three of those were problems in the tale. Confidence also seemed to be an issue - note how the one guy quailed when faced with the reality of what he was doing.
You strike me as a very strong person who has her head firmly on her shoulders. Use it and you will be fine.
And I have a selfish reason for you to go ahead with your hike. It'd be fun to bump into someone as vibrant as you on the trail. :P
I've gotta say, the recent crop of prospective thru hikers (who are posting here) is pretty awesome. I hope I'm on the AT enough to say hello to you folks as you come through Maine!
Okay... I feel better.
The trail is like the rest of the world.
And I'm excited about running into Merry! ^_^
For the most part better....
My guess is that someone looking to avoid the party scene and much of the troubles in that article should consider hiking southbound. There are so many reasons to hike the AT southbound that I'm not even considering ever hiking northbound in the bubble, and I'm a guy so I don't have to deal with most of the more ridiculous nonsense. I feel very bad for the women who have to deal with that kind of crap.
HST/JMT August 2016
TMB/Alps Sept 2015
PCT Mile 0-857 - Apr/May 2015
Foothills Trail Feb 2015
Colorado Trail Aug 2014
AT: Rockfish Gap to Boiling Springs 2014
John Muir Trail Aug/Sept 2013
and I would still say the author had a distorted sense of reality, and I did read it, twice
while everyone deserves to be treated with respect (regardless of gender), plain and simple, we also need to be accountable and take responsibility for our own actions: everything we do has consequences, and a person can do anything they want if they're willing to pay the consequences; did she do this? hmmm....no, not fully
just my opinion
but then again we all know what they say about opinions, don't we? just like a certain in-disposable body part, and as is evident here, everybody has one
distorted sense of reality?! bill, you smoking again? share man. pass it around the primal fire
sorry, I didn't mean JB, meant the author of the story from 2006 being referred to earlier, forgot the quote
I always try to follow the Boy Scout motto.
I think you might have a point.
When I was 19 I found myself in a bad neighborhood. I was looking for a party at a friend's house and I (like an idiot) had somehow left my phone at home. I was on a street corner and scratching my head at the street names when I saw a group of young men coming my way. They all had shaved heads, tattoos, baggy jeans, and long white t's. Basic LA gang banger uniform. They saw me and one guy bounced on his toes and pointed "Look fool! Let's get 'er!" Another guy said in tone he'd use for a bulldog, "Get 'er. Get 'er!"
I'm white as hell and clearly did NOT belong in that area. They were all Latino guys and were looking to scare me.
Instead of acting afraid I turned to them and laughed. I said, "I know, right?" In a teasing tone. I then asked them for directions. They all came up and swarmed me.
And were the most helpful gentlemen I could have asked for. "Whatcha doin' 'ere hyna? 'Ou should'na be 'ere alown gir'." They escorted me to the party and everyone parted ways happily.
If I had acted afraid? Maybe that would have escalated. But instead I acted like I was one of them and I had no reason to be afraid.
I dunno, I think about that a lot when I hear about people getting jumped.
Love your story, Sierra, and it reminded me of this:
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/20...-subway-rider/
And also of an experience I had in Boston many years ago, when I was taking my two young kids to the Science Museum and took the wrong subway. It was morning, and the stations were fairly deserted. We went way upstairs to wait for our train. Across the platform from us was a short, pudgy middle-aged man in a trench coat, and you can guess the rest. I wasn't especially frightened, but this is not the sort of thing you want to provide parental guidance on, so I hoped the kids wouldn't notice. And then two young black toughs with tattoos and attitude approached us. Was this going from bad to worse? Well, no. At the sight of the young men, the flasher left immediately, the train came a few minutes later, and we all boarded.
Okay, I have to know, are you talking ass holes or elbows?
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