WhiteBlaze Pages
A Complete Appalachian Trail Guidebook.
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  1. #81

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    You're a real hiker when the Super Bowl is coming but you plan a long backpacking trip the day before. It's a choice between television and being a couch potato---or hiking. ALWAYS and irrevocably be out hiking. Remember this time honored mantra---

    If you're indoors you're a failure. If you're outside you're a success.

  2. #82

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    Where the hell is that like button

  3. #83
    Registered User Cadenza's Avatar
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    05-11-2012
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    I don't normally care much about watching overpaid prima donna thugs, regardless of what kind of ball they use.
    This year it just happens that I hate both teams equally.
    I have a doctor appointment on Friday and plan to head back to Citico on Saturday. By the time I get back to civilization it will be old news.
    It won't matter to me if I never learn the results of the game.

  4. #84

    Default your a real hiker when

    The 5 second dropped food rule doesn't apply anywhere.

    You can smell approaching people's laundry detergent on their clothes long before you pass on the trail.

  5. #85
    Registered User Cadenza's Avatar
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    05-11-2012
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    Default You're a real hiker when....

    ....upon coming out of the woods you stop at your first restaurant and don't even bother to inspect your coffee cup for floating insect carcasses.
    (and if you were to find one there you wouldn't pay any attention to it.)

  6. #86
    Registered User
    Join Date
    08-12-2009
    Location
    Spring Lake, MI
    Age
    55
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    1,471

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    Strok'in it means getting your cook stove going

  7. #87
    Registered User
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    01-28-2008
    Location
    Spokane, WA
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    68
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    4,908

    Default

    Your riding on the bus, and you check out each tree for food hang potential.
    "It's fun to have fun, but you have to know how." ---Dr. Seuss

  8. #88

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    Your riding on the bus, and you check out each tree for food hang potential.


    Yes, or hammock-hanging potential.

  9. #89
    Registered User
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    04-02-2013
    Location
    Houston, TX
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    34
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    42

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    You know you're a hiker when you carry an extra pair of socks and some footpowder to work, in an air conditioned office.

  10. #90
    Registered User
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    01-19-2011
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    Abingdon, Virginia
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    54
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    Default

    You know that you are a hiker when you can smell the "fresh, soapy scents" of town folk way before they can smell your hiker aroma.

  11. #91

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarcasm the elf View Post
    I'll be on the forums for a while, I may be a real hiker, but I'm also a new parent...
    So...you never heard of a baby carrier pack?

    Congratulations!

    "To make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot

  12. #92
    Wanna-be hiker trash
    Join Date
    03-05-2010
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    Connecticut
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    39
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    Quote Originally Posted by atraildreamer View Post
    So...you never heard of a baby carrier pack?

    Congratulations!
    Using an Ergo front pack right now.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.

  13. #93
    Registered User
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    06-12-2014
    Location
    Kansas (KS)
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    61
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    You know your a real hiker after completing your first poop in the woods!

  14. #94
    Registered User
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    06-25-2012
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    Lurkerville, East Tn
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    61
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by L8Hiker View Post
    You know your a real hiker after completing your first poop in the woods!
    Followed by your first post on WhiteBlaze?

  15. #95

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    Quote Originally Posted by L8Hiker View Post
    You know your a real hiker after completing your first poop in the woods!
    You're a real hiker after completing your 4th book on pooping in the woods and studying in detail Man's bout with his angry Turds.

    In fact, on my last trip I had a near struggle to the death with a mean and angry Turtlehead and . . . . well . . . here's the journal entry---

    January 15 2015 Day 16

    8F DEGREE TURD PACKET
    Unfortunately just after eating oatmeal and being warm and satisfied a terrorist turtlehead wanted out in the worst way but a pot of tea was coming to a boil and it was dark and cold outside. I waited and felt impending splash down. Once the tea boiled I turned off the stove and grabbed 2 paper towels and unzipped the fly door and ran out to dig a hole. Before completing the head of the irritable stool poked out necessitating a quick strip down, squat and release. What came out had a human face and spoke clearly in Latin:

    "Offal protestium exflange urgentsium fecallia. Ecce Effluvium." Translation: "This turd protests being held back by a sphincter skin-flap (flange?) and must come out. Behold the Turd."


    It sat on the ground and wanted to be hand-carried to my next several campsites and wanted to stay with me but it could not be carried as it was more a melted ice cream pancake batter mix with no real hand-holds and so we talked and it was slowly buried as it cried. It's been my only companion on a long lonely trip and I now feel bad and miss Young William. Long gestation but a quick goodbye---the story of a man and his turd. I left the best part of me on the banks of the South Fork.

  16. #96
    Wanna-be hiker trash
    Join Date
    03-05-2010
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    Connecticut
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    39
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    Default

    When you are posting updates to WB from inside a shelter in 5* weather.
    Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.

  17. #97
    Registered User Bags4266's Avatar
    Join Date
    10-01-2009
    Location
    Holland, NJ
    Age
    60
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    895

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    When you give your hiking boots blisters

  18. #98

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tipi Walter View Post
    You're a real hiker after completing your 4th book on pooping in the woods and studying in detail Man's bout with his angry Turds.

    In fact, on my last trip I had a near struggle to the death with a mean and angry Turtlehead and . . . . well . . . here's the journal entry---

    January 15 2015 Day 16

    8F DEGREE TURD PACKET
    Unfortunately just after eating oatmeal and being warm and satisfied a terrorist turtlehead wanted out in the worst way but a pot of tea was coming to a boil and it was dark and cold outside. I waited and felt impending splash down. Once the tea boiled I turned off the stove and grabbed 2 paper towels and unzipped the fly door and ran out to dig a hole. Before completing the head of the irritable stool poked out necessitating a quick strip down, squat and release. What came out had a human face and spoke clearly in Latin:

    "Offal protestium exflange urgentsium fecallia. Ecce Effluvium." Translation: "This turd protests being held back by a sphincter skin-flap (flange?) and must come out. Behold the Turd."


    It sat on the ground and wanted to be hand-carried to my next several campsites and wanted to stay with me but it could not be carried as it was more a melted ice cream pancake batter mix with no real hand-holds and so we talked and it was slowly buried as it cried. It's been my only companion on a long lonely trip and I now feel bad and miss Young William. Long gestation but a quick goodbye---the story of a man and his turd. I left the best part of me on the banks of the South Fork.
    This...always this

  19. #99
    Registered User Huckleberry's Avatar
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    11-22-2011
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    BROOKLYN,NY
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    Default

    when you can recite the lines to "Southbounders"

  20. #100
    Registered User 2015 Lady Thru-Hiker's Avatar
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    02-10-2014
    Location
    The AT starting April 2nd
    Age
    63
    Posts
    458
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by colorado_rob View Post
    Yeah, this! And you spend on average $600/month, that's 7-grand a year on gear and other outdoor supplies....
    Feeling wholly inadequate That's it, call off the thru-hike!!
    ““Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees....” ― John Muir

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