I'm angry

[squeezebox]

A fair piece of about my hiking the trail this year is about cleaning out my anger of my ex-wife, brother, 20 yr old son. My brother seems to be pretty much okay. My ex has stopped being violent, after the cops stopped by to talk to her. My son is still violent sometimes. I just don't need this ****. I'm hiking for mental health , mine!! Just don't what else to say.

[shakey_snake]

I've heard the healing the trail does for the head, is directly proportional damage it does to your feet!

Here's to the bloody nubs that extend beyond your ankles!

[illabelle]

Staying angry takes a lot of energy and focus. Hauling your butt and your gear through the woods and over the hills takes plenty of energy and focus. So maybe it'll work??
Hope you're able to enjoy the trail too!

[MuddyWaters]

Cant change other people.
You can accept them, what they do to you, and include them in you life.
Or you can exclude them.
You can run away for a while, they will be there when you get back. Not a permanent solution.

[full conditions]

One of the things that helps get me through a particularly hard day of teaching is thinking about my next section hike. Uncooperative students, angry parents, demanding administrators all become something I can endure when I remember that soon I'll be on the AT. Whenever I'm suffering on some long, exhausting climb or a day in the rain I try to remember that this is what I was dreaming of and not to squander a single, precious moment "wishing I was home wishing I was here". I think the trail is restorative therapy for many of us. Some days, just thinking about the trail is enough. Or posting on White Blaze.

[BirdBrain]

How people treat us is a reflection them, not us. We do not treat others is not based on merit, but rather on our own sense of fairness. Our happiness in life is not a dependent on our situation, but rather how we view our situation. Ask yourself who was happier, Gandhi or Kurt Cobain? Who was at peace, Mother Teresa or Robin Williams? Why do people protest what they perceive as an injustice against an innocent person by hurting other people they know are innocent? How we react to life hurts us and everyone around. We cannot truly feel the pain of others. We feel our own pain more. Reacting is self destructive. Things and situation do not make a happy life. Attitude does. You are not angry because of them no more than they are angry because of you. You are angry because of you. Go out on the trail and you will still be there. Having said all this, if you are going on the trail to get yourself right, it might work. If you are going so you can have a better plan to deal with them, you are wasting your time. There will always be jerks and there will always be you. You can't change them. They are not your problem.

[Water Rat]

If you are running away from the situation, nothing will be solved. The situation will still be there when you get back.

However, if hiking makes you happy and is a "reset" button for you, then it can be a helpful tool. Sometimes distancing ourselves from a situation is the best thing we can do. It allows us to view things from a different perspective and gain insight as to how we need to deal with the situation from that moment forward. In addition, sometimes physical activity allows us to vent the anger. That is never a bad thing. Getting that out makes space for other thoughts and emotions to move in. Hiking can be amazing therapy! Once you remember what "happy" looks like, it can be a lot easier to realize just unhappy you were with a given situation. That can be great motivation for taking that first step toward saying "I'd done with this. It is time to make it stop."

It's never unhealthy to cut unhealthy relationships from our lives... There are people out there who are extremely unhappy and they will suck the life out of you if you let them.

The first step (of cutting out the people who are toxin) is often the hardest, but it is so worth it when you have made the choice to surround your self with people who care.

I hope you find your answers.

[AO2134]

I always found anger to be fuel. It is motivation. It propels me forward, although sometimes it does make me take a few unnecessary steps back.

That anger has caused you to reevaluate your position and will hopefully lead you to some healing. Good luck sir.

[Teacher & Snacktime]

How people treat us is a reflection them, not us. We do not treat others is not based on merit, but rather on our own sense of fairness. Our happiness in life is not a dependent on our situation, but rather how we view our situation. Ask yourself who was happier, Gandhi or Kurt Cobain? Who was at peace, Mother Teresa or Robin Williams? Why do people protest what they perceive as an injustice against an innocent person by hurting other people they know are innocent? How we react to life hurts us and everyone around. We cannot truly feel the pain of others. We feel our own pain more. Reacting is self destructive. Things and situation do not make a happy life. Attitude does. You are not angry because of them no more than they are angry because of you. You are angry because of you. Go out on the trail and you will still be there. Having said all this, if you are going on the trail to get yourself right, it might work. If you are going so you can have a better plan to deal with them, you are wasting your time. There will always be jerks and there will always be you. You can't change them. They are not your problem.

BB - I hope you don't mind, but I paraphrased this a bit to fit a situation with which I've been dealing lately regarding bullying. I found the phrasing effective and to-the-point, and gave you credit


"How people treat you is a reflection on them, not you. You can treat others based on merit, and your own sense of fairness, but cannot control how you will be treated in return. All you can control is to what extent you allow their negative behavior to affect your life by reacting to them. There will always be jerks and there will always be you. You can't change them; they are not your problem." - AT Hiker, Birdbrain

[BirdBrain]

BB - I hope you don't mind, but I paraphrased this a bit to fit a situation with which I've been dealing lately regarding bullying. I found the phrasing effective and to-the-point, and gave you credit


"How people treat you is a reflection on them, not you. You can treat others based on merit, and your own sense of fairness, but cannot control how you will be treated in return. All you can control is to what extent you allow their negative behavior to affect your life by reacting to them. There will always be jerks and there will always be you. You can't change them; they are not your problem." - AT Hiker, Birdbrain

That is fine. I suspect I am paraphrasing people too. I doubt I came up with any of that on my own. I try to learn by example. It is less painful than the alternative.

Edit: After a bit of thought I recall a book that can be useful for people dealing with difficult people. It is called The Four Agreements. I could recommend an even better Book. However, some would be offended.

[futureatwalker]

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn.”
John MuirI wish you well. Enjoy your hike. Forget about everyone back home.

[WingedMonkey]

Perhaps for the few weeks you are on the trail you can figure out why you make others around you so angry.

[Teacher & Snacktime]

That is fine. I suspect I am paraphrasing people too. I doubt I came up with any of that on my own. I try to learn by example. It is less painful than the alternative.

Edit: After a bit of thought I recall a book that can be useful for people dealing with difficult people. It is called The Four Agreements. I could recommend an even better Book. However, some would be offended.

Just so you know....the comment was well received on my FB page.

HikerMom sends her best in her response: "I really like Birdbrain. He's an honorable man, IMO. He speaks truth. You can't control others only yourself. True dat. That trick is to not let those that clearly "push your buttons" get to you. It's hard & sometimes impossible not to react. It's like putting your hand on a hot stove & not reacting to the pain. It's THAT hard sometimes, IMO, no matter what kind of person you really are, it's still hard."

Anyway, yours is great advice for the OP, as are some of the other posts I've seen here. This thread reminds me of the support and caring I'd come to know on WB, but which unfortunately tends to fall by the cynical wayside. Kudos to (almost) all here, and best luck on your hike, Squeezebox.

[misterfloyd]

Gotta tell you Full Conditions, I teach in NC as well and I have been looking forward to this long section hike for a while.

It does have a healing effect but the problems you leave will be there when you get back, at least for me, many times

I hope the opposite is true for you. I hope you are able to find peace, or at least deal, or learn how to deal with a toxic situation... Myself, I'm still working at it.

Floyd

[BirdBrain]

Perhaps for the few weeks you are on the trail you can figure out why you make others around you so angry.

I doubt you will ever find a greater proof of my statements above than the one I just quoted here.

[4eyedbuzzard]

That is fine. I suspect I am paraphrasing people too. I doubt I came up with any of that on my own. I try to learn by example. It is less painful than the alternative.

Edit: After a bit of thought I recall a book that can be useful for people dealing with difficult people. It is called The Four Agreements. I could recommend an even better Book. However, some would be offended.

Just because one does not agree with the central premise of a particular book, does not mean that they would necessarily discard the many words of wisdom and guidance to be found within. Many simply find that it is part of a much larger collection of human thought, rather than the whole tamale.

[BirdBrain]

Just so you know....the comment was well received on my FB page.

HikerMom sends her best in her response: "I really like Birdbrain. He's an honorable man, IMO. He speaks truth.

HM was my 1st friend on here. She knows me. She also knows that I do not always succeed in following my own advice. I try. I fail. I try again. I fail again. I do not give up. Say hi for me.

[4eyedbuzzard]

You can't change other people. It's difficult enough changing yourself. Go relax in the woods. Get rid of the relationships that drag you down. Be selfish in this sense. No one takes care of you more than you do.

[BirdBrain]

Just because one does not agree with the central premise of a particular book, does not mean that they would necessarily discard the many words of wisdom and guidance to be found within. Many simply find that it is part of a much larger collection of human thought, rather than the whole tamale.

Wisdom can be gleaned from many sources. If one is patient and looks hard enough, it can even be found on hiking sites.

[kayak karl]

i don't go on a long hike until i have thinks in my life settled. pack is heavy enough without extra baggage. just saying