Throwing in the towel

[Gambit McCrae]

After 36 trips, and just under 850 miles complete, I walked over the New River in Pearisburg Friday. I hadn't planned very well for the cold weather I was not anticipating. I had only arrived the day before, but the milestone of finishing Southern Virginia was complete. In just over 2 years I had completed almost half of the AT. I bought a house in November, have been enjoying fixing that up a bit. My father had a major open heart surgery last month, and I almost learned the hard way he isn't going to be around forever. The trail was like mud soup, slipping and sliding all over the place. I sat in front of the Celanese Plant and called my shuttle driver Don, told him I was done. I drove home that afternoon feeling like my time needed to be spent elsewhere while it still could be, closer to family and elder friends, instead of walking alone in the woods more then at weddings, birthdays, mothers days etc. One side of the coin I felt like a failure, disappointment, miniscule...sub par to the norm on the trail, like a quitter. Feel ashamed to not put more effort into it, to stick it out. On the other side, I felt like a weight lifted, the pressure I have put on myself to finish it so quickly for someone working a fulltime Monday thru Friday job, and to still complete the trail at the same time, has finally burnt me out. A guy told me 3 trips ago "If it was easy, everyone would do it", and that kept me going for several more trips, but for now, I think my aggressive trail completion is over. I see more fishing trips with pops, drinking a cold beer and laughing about the day in my future and less of what I have come to know as walking in the woods alone. I will still be active on WB, and take my hikes, but with friends, and less of an intent to accomplish something. Who knows, this time next year I might be back at it killing miles. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[Greenlight]

Don't beat yourself up. I talked to Papa Sprout, a NOBO section hiker at Washington Monument while we were stopped at the drinking fountain in early April, and he said he's been knocking out a section at a time for years. You'll get there.

After 36 trips, and just under 850 miles complete, I walked over the New River in Pearisburg Friday. I hadn't planned very well for the cold weather I was not anticipating. I had only arrived the day before, but the milestone of finishing Southern Virginia was complete. In just over 2 years I had completed almost half of the AT. I bought a house in November, have been enjoying fixing that up a bit. My father had a major open heart surgery last month, and I almost learned the hard way he isn't going to be around forever. The trail was like mud soup, slipping and sliding all over the place. I sat in front of the Celanese Plant and called my shuttle driver Don, told him I was done. I drove home that afternoon feeling like my time needed to be spent elsewhere while it still could be, closer to family and elder friends, instead of walking alone in the woods more then at weddings, birthdays, mothers days etc. One side of the coin I felt like a failure, disappointment, miniscule...sub par to the norm on the trail, like a quitter. Feel ashamed to not put more effort into it, to stick it out. On the other side, I felt like a weight lifted, the pressure I have put on myself to finish it so quickly for someone working a fulltime Monday thru Friday job, and to still complete the trail at the same time, has finally burnt me out. A guy told me 3 trips ago "If it was easy, everyone would do it", and that kept me going for several more trips, but for now, I think my aggressive trail completion is over. I see more fishing trips with pops, drinking a cold beer and laughing about the day in my future and less of what I have come to know as walking in the woods alone. I will still be active on WB, and take my hikes, but with friends, and less of an intent to accomplish something. Who knows, this time next year I might be back at it killing miles. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[DavidNH]

Sounds to me like you made the right decision. Mud and rain certainly puts a damper on a hike. Also, there is the saying.. that if hiking the AT isn't your life priority (you have or have found other things that are more important to you) you should quit and go do what is a priority to you. As for me, I think hiking should be fun, not an emotional endurance test.There are always down times but if the emotional down time exceeds the joyous rewards.. then it's time to do something else.

[rocketsocks]

There is way to much emphasis placed by folks on collecting miles, in my opinion, as if it's somthing to be finished rather than just engaged in. Good for you dude.

[saltysack]

It's easy to get consumed by the goal at hand and forget the reason why you hike....regroup and get back out when your ready.....


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[Rain Man]

I've hiked over 1,700 miles in 13 years. People sometimes ask if I'm gonna do the whole thing. I tell them I'm going to keep hiking the AT as long as I'm having fun. If you aren't having fun, then stop. Sure. Although you are welcome to come hike a section with me and I'll show you how to enjoy a section hike!

My father is 90 and my mother in her 80s, plus I have daughters and now grandchildren. I definitely make time for all of them. If it were the trail or them, I'd make the same choice you did. Thankfully in my case, that's not the choice.

I'll be hitting the trail next Tuesday where I left off in Kent, CT last June. Plan to do CT and MA this trip.

For me, it's not just the path, it's the people on and off the trail.

[Bronk]

You are absolutely the norm on the trail. Very few actually compared to how many people attempt it. And you know what? That's OK. I attempted a thruhike and quit after 850 miles. But those were some of the best 4 months of my life. The trail is still there. Its not a race. Nothing saying you can't pick up where you left off at some point down the road. You've got other things that are higher priority right now...sometimes spending a bit of time alone in the woods helps you sort those priorities out. Be glad you figured out what is really important to you. Some people never figure that out.

[colorado_rob]

It's easy to get consumed by the goal at hand and forget the reason why you hike....regroup and get back out when your ready.....

Agree. And if and when you do "recover", I recommend trying some other trails. Though it has its definite charms, the AT, especially the parts you have completed, is just simply not that beautiful and inspiring of a trail, it really is mostly a long green tunnel.

Try parts of the AT in New England, like notably the whites and Maine. Or try some trail hiking out west in the Big mountains. Much better and many more views and guess what else: easier trails.

[LittleRock]

I wouldn't set myself on giving it up forever. Just take a break for awhile and see how you feel. I bet you'll be back within a year. :-)

Also, having just hiked the same section you just did a few weeks ago, I definitely wouldn't want to make it my last one. The first 60 miles north of Pearisburg were pretty lackluster.

[peakbagger]

One of the many reasons I switched to section hiking and not being in a rush to complete the AT was to limit hiking in the spring. In general maybe I just got lucky but the weather was consistently better in the late summer and fall. I had many trips in the summer and fall where my raingear never moved out of the bottom of my pack but there were few if any hikes in the spring that inevitably didn't require at least a couple of days of rain. Slogging around in the rain for a day isn't bad but once all the gear gets wet and the trail becomes mud, a lot of the fun goes away.

I met hiker once on the AT who was out for fun. He had hiked both the AT and the PCT as section hikes only hiking in September, he was an accountant and was right out straight in the first half of the year and he would take the entire month of September off and go hiking to make up for it.

It wasn't that Virginia was boring, it was just that there were 7 or 8 weeks of it. Definitely consider heading north for week one of these days hard to beat Maine in September.

[Gambit McCrae]

All great insight, a lot of experience posting here. I may have overstepped my intent, I will still hike, and go to the AT.. Just not as a first priority, or to aggressively complete it. I have a trip planned with a friend for memorial day weekend to finish up SNP, maybe that trip is what I need to revive the passion for the trail, last 5 trips or so, has just felt heartless, "going thru thru the motions" so to say. And as others said, I had 1 view in southern VA after Grayson highlands. 5 trips up to SoVa and nothing to see, just green tunnel and trail. That gets old for a purist section hiker, to have a desire to touch every inch of the trail, your gunna have some un eventful trips, but 5 trips in a row, and nothing but bland trail, no iconic vistas or attractions does get old.
Out of 168 miles of SoVa:
-Dismal Falls
-Angels Rest (eh, nice factory lol)
-The ponies
-Chestnut knob
- A couple gorgeous interstates lol

[Malto]

I sorta came to the same conclusion but for different reasons. I could have finished the AT several years ago but i would have had to hike the AT rather than other trips such as the Wonderland Trail, Lowest to Highest, the Adirondaks etc. While I still do trips on the AT and I will finish it someday, it is not my primary hiking location anymore.

[illabelle]

Can definitely relate. We're six years into our 10-year AT section hiking plan. Early on it was not unusual for us to overestimate how many miles we could do and so we bailed a few times until we figured it out. It had been a while since we bailed out - until a couple weeks ago. We drove seven long hours to SNP to day-hike Old Rag on Saturday, then continued on to northern Virginia to knock out the last 20 miles of that area, five on Saturday, fifteen on Sunday. Sunday morning I woke feeling sick. My husband took most of my weight, and we continued to the next road crossing to evaluate. Took two hours to cover three easy miles. With twelve to go, no energy, and a long drive home, we called the shuttle.
Figured out a few days later that we must have picked up a flu bug. I missed a day of work, husband missed a solid week. Of course, there are lots of good solid reasons to go home besides illness or injury: a soft bed, motorized transport, clean water, family. You made a good decision.

[MuddyWaters]

As u discovered, much of it is just trail in the woods. Nothing special or awe inspiring.

There are much wilder more spectacular places to spend time if thats what your after.

Have you really analyzed your reasons for trying?

When I lay in bed at night, I often imagine Im laying under my tarp. Smelling earth, listening to rain on the tarp dripping off the edge next to me while Im warm and dry under my quilt. With no one for miles around. Because thats where I would rather be.

When it comes to hiking, the journey is the destination.

[Gambit McCrae]

As u discovered, much of it is just trail in the woods. Nothing special or awe inspiring.

Have you really analyzed your reasons for trying?

I have put a lot of importance in my life on accomplishments. Walking every foot of the AT would be another hat to hang on the wall. That's the most honest I can be I guess, it means more to me to complete the miles, then what I see along the way. Saying it publicly isn't as humbling as hearing it in my head for years. It is actually quite disappointing to me, that putting so much effort and time into something just so that I can tell others I've done it? I didn't know how posting this would be taken, but I think it has been healthier for me then I thought it would be. I need to reevaluate my intent, and find a reason to do it for me, and not a nametag or accolade for bragging rights. Something I think I have lost along the way, that I do remember having some time ago, is appreciating the time out there, got too caught up in checking sections off the list, and not enough time taking it in. Thanks Muddy

[linus72]

you really have to have a LOT of free time and resources to pull off a thru, and I don't think it makes any of us who do it in sections less of a hiker. you can still be a 2,000 miler and it does not need to be a thru. that in itself is impressive enough if that sort of thing is important to you. sure its harder to get the legs back each time, but as someone in the same boat, working around the clock, its a pleasure to be out there even if i'm doing 10 miles at a time and it takes me 20 years. After all, we hike and backpack to be one with nature, not for a title. Don't be hard on yourself. Only college kids or retirees or those who are wealthy enough not to work can easily find the time. HYOH.

[Berserker]

Yeah man step back, relax and take a little time off. Get back to where you are excited to get out there. I'm on a plan to completion that is much longer than yours (probably around 12 years), and one of the main things I've learned is that there's no point in being out there if you aren't having fun. Section hiking involves lots of extra logistics and a different type of sacrifice than a thru hike. For the first few years I was focused on knocking down mileage. Then I went through a period of feeling like I was going through the motions that culminated in having a really crappy time on my long section hike a couple of years ago.

I remember hiking through part of NH just literally asking myself why in the he!! I was out there. It was a really warm humid week, and I was hiking the Southern part (the non-descript part before you get to the Whites). Somehow my lower back got chaffed really bad early in the week (I think my shirt slid up to where my bare skin was rubbing on the pack), and I was in pain for the rest of the hike. I just really did not have a good time. Then last year I went out my long section for the year and told myself that there isn't a point in being out there if I'm not having fun. I had some personal stuff going on to where the hike got postponed, and when I finally got out on the hike my mind was in the right place. Despite some odd weather I had a great time.

So now I'm having fun again, and actually starting to think about what it's going to be like after I finish the AT. The section hikes have become such a integral part of my life that it's going to be weird when I finish. At any rate, like said take a little time off until you are once again excited to be out there, and just have fun with it.

[MuddyWaters]

I have put a lot of importance in my life on accomplishments. Walking every foot of the AT would be another hat to hang on the wall. That's the most honest I can be I guess, it means more to me to complete the miles, then what I see along the way. Saying it publicly isn't as humbling as hearing it in my head for years. It is actually quite disappointing to me, that putting so much effort and time into something just so that I can tell others I've done it? I didn't know how posting this would be taken, but I think it has been healthier for me then I thought it would be. I need to reevaluate my intent, and find a reason to do it for me, and not a nametag or accolade for bragging rights. Something I think I have lost along the way, that I do remember having some time ago, is appreciating the time out there, got too caught up in checking sections off the list, and not enough time taking it in. Thanks Muddy

I was speaking rhetorically, not fishing for a confession.

A thing to realize, is that almost nobody outside the small number of AT enthusiasts cares. And 99.99% of the population wouldnt be impressed, they would say........why? That is , right after "whats that? " wheres that?" And "did you see the last episode of xyz?"

[Dogwood]

Sounds like you very much did accomplish a whole lot.

I've had to remind myself while coming across the finish line is a vital goal that lends framework to a hike the canvas of a hike to which I ultimately measure the artwork's success is the masterful colorful textural brush strokes living simply from moment to moment embracing as much of LIFE as possible that can expand the clarity and depth of being. There is something to say about the quality of the journey, the smaller increments, as much as the end goal of where you finally arrive. Being so consumed with a goal, begrudgingly always "sticking it out", a "forced death march", that the everyday reality of joyously living the journey, the real juice, where the most important stuff occurs is lost can become a dismal robotic affair. It's ultimately up to each of us to decide the perceived character of our experiences.


Many of us, including myself, have gained much clarity on hikes. I came to similar emotional feelings about my parents specifically my father. I saw our relationship and who each of us were more clearly which helped me "understand." I let go of so much baggage in our relationship through hiking. In that clear state on trail I'd want to go to him, embrace, look into his eyes, make him something to eat, "have a beer", tell him I loved him, and let him know I believed he did a good job with family and his personal life. I'd write down what I was feeling, record my feelings using a mike, and I'd call my father. I'd share later if I couldn't get through by phone. Connecting, communicating, sharing, can be realized in many ways. Spending quality time with parents who are both up in age and retired communicating from the trail in this state reading back my writing or playing the audio and once off the trail in person having that physical contact through embraces has been so much more gratifying since. No more was it simply going through the unappreciative superficial motions even if they were in person.


FWIW, on LD hikes I've chosen to temporarily suspend the hike experiencing near death emergencies of loved ones, deaths/funerals in the family and with dear friends, weddings, family gatherings, special events, personal short term injuries, and short term career responsibilities. I always went back to the hike. Why? I embrace the opportunities, the powerful vehicle backpacking "in the flow" living in the moment embracing LIFE in the fullest connecting more fully with myself and the rest of humanity in humility, love, and with a generous heart with a purpose beyond attaining another alphabet acronymed trail LD backpacking provides. I will never perceive backpacking becoming a bleak sounding exercise of "just walking alone in the woods."

[Dogwood]

Yeah man step back, relax and take a little time off. Get back to where you are excited to get out there. I'm on a plan to completion that is much longer than yours (probably around 12 years), and one of the main things I've learned is that there's no point in being out there if you aren't having fun. Section hiking involves lots of extra logistics and a different type of sacrifice than a thru hike. For the first few years I was focused on knocking down mileage. Then I went through a period of feeling like I was going through the motions that culminated in having a really crappy time on my long section hike a couple of years ago.

I remember hiking through part of NH just literally asking myself why in the he!! I was out there. It was a really warm humid week, and I was hiking the Southern part (the non-descript part before you get to the Whites). Somehow my lower back got chaffed really bad early in the week (I think my shirt slid up to where my bare skin was rubbing on the pack), and I was in pain for the rest of the hike. I just really did not have a good time. Then last year I went out my long section for the year and told myself that there isn't a point in being out there if I'm not having fun. I had some personal stuff going on to where the hike got postponed, and when I finally got out on the hike my mind was in the right place. Despite some odd weather I had a great time.

So now I'm having fun again, and actually starting to think about what it's going to be like after I finish the AT. The section hikes have become such a integral part of my life that it's going to be weird when I finish. At any rate, like said take a little time off until you are once again excited to be out there, and just have fun with it.

Having fun is not at the exclusion of trails and tribulations. Part of the joy, "the fun", the growth, of the backpacking experience is maintaining joy, curiosity, and growth in the midst of these.

I've come to believe if the hike isn't fun anymore it's not so much the hike that isn't fun it is me that isn't finding the fun that's there.

Likewise, if the hike has become boring it isn't so much the hike that is boring it is me who has allowed myself to become bored.