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  1. #1
    Registered User mml373's Avatar
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    Default Dating for Single Hikers

    Note from a single guy who's been using "traditional" online dating sites to meet a lady hiker for far too long...without success, in terms of actually meeting someone who "really hikes." :-) And, evidently "camping" means RVing...not really camping. :-)

    Are there any resources out there that can help single hikers meet? Match dot com is worthless in terms of meeting people who really are into hiking/backpacking at the level I enjoy (intent to through hike the AT.) I am aware of Meetup, but unfortunately I work rotating shifts and am unable to participate in my local hiking group's outings because I never know my work schedule far enough in advance (they book up more than a month out.) Still, backpacking (and perhaps an AT through hike) is something I want to share with someone special and cannot imagine ever being with someone who doesn't have a passion for the trail.

    I see all these couples that have relatively little in common, always fighting, and just can't imagine ever going down that road.

    Just trying to come up with options or see how others couples met through their love of backpacking. I'm an early/mid 40s guy near St. Louis, looking to find someone who understands this whole active lifestyle/backpacking thing that so many of us here enjoy. There's so much to see, to learn, and to experience and it would better to experience it all with someone.


    Thanks in advance for helpful replies. :-)
    Planning for a North-South thru-hike to begin...one of these days...

  2. #2
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    Hmmmm. I met someone who is new to back packing and wants me to show her what I know. And I'm excited about that. On the other hand it might be unrealistic to expect a romantic partner to have the same love of hiking you do. There will always be one of you who likes it more it seems. A more important aspect of the relationship might be how well you respect and support each other's differences.

    I think it's very easy to meet women who are into a fitness lifestyle. Maybe just be open to the relationship evolving on its own. It helps to have other friends to share your hobbies with.

    For instance I also practice martial arts but I don't expect my girlfriend to share the same passion for it.

    Good luck.


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  3. #3
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    I like the mountains and being outside. My next partner probably should as well. I'm all for mutual respect but if you were married for years and developed a love for hiking during that marriage that's one thing. If you love to hike and be in nature and are single, you're probably going to want to find someone with at least some love of that and not just an understanding and acceptance of it.

  4. #4
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    Your question is about how to connect with women who backpack, but my answer will apply to backpacking or to most any other activity.

    You wanna meet women who backpack? or women who bike? or women who sing? or women who walk tightropes? or women who volunteer in their community? or women who collect coins? or women who skydive? Instead of looking on a dating site, I think the best way to connect is to involve yourself in the activity you're interested in. You will naturally find others also involved in the activity. What this means for you is go for a walk. Take a hike. Get out on the trail. People frequently come on WB with concerns about hiking alone. They're always told not to worry about it. Once they get on the trail, there are plenty of others and friendships will naturally develop. My observation is that a person with purpose (a trail to hike, a song to learn, a tightrope to walk, ....) attracts in a more positive way than a person who is waiting for the right companion before committing to a purpose. Whatever your passion is, just go do it. That passion will attract people who enjoy doing what you do.

    On the other hand, I think most couples have areas of compatibility and shared interests as well as areas of conflict and disinterest. If you don't find a woman to share backpacking with, backpack anyway, and find a woman you can share other things with.

    Just my opinions. I have no special knowledge or training. Take it for what it's worth.

  5. #5
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    Have you considered volunteering on your local trail maintenance crew? In NY, there are always NY-NJ Trail Conference volunteer projects. Maybe things like that would be good.

  6. #6
    Registered User lonehiker's Avatar
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    I probably shouldn't respond as it is really off subject to the OPs question. But, we use my hiking as our alone time. That is, this time of year the wife will look over at me and ask, with irritation, "is it hiking season yet?" My response, "almost."
    Lonehiker

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by mml373 View Post
    Note from a single guy who's been using "traditional" online dating sites to meet a lady hiker for far too long...without success, in terms of actually meeting someone who "really hikes." :-) And, evidently "camping" means RVing...not really camping. :-)

    Are there any resources out there that can help single hikers meet? Match dot com is worthless in terms of meeting people who really are into hiking/backpacking at the level I enjoy (intent to through hike the AT.) I am aware of Meetup, but unfortunately I work rotating shifts and am unable to participate in my local hiking group's outings because I never know my work schedule far enough in advance (they book up more than a month out.) Still, backpacking (and perhaps an AT through hike) is something I want to share with someone special and cannot imagine ever being with someone who doesn't have a passion for the trail.

    I see all these couples that have relatively little in common, always fighting, and just can't imagine ever going down that road.

    Just trying to come up with options or see how others couples met through their love of backpacking. I'm an early/mid 40s guy near St. Louis, looking to find someone who understands this whole active lifestyle/backpacking thing that so many of us here enjoy. There's so much to see, to learn, and to experience and it would better to experience it all with someone.


    Thanks in advance for helpful replies. :-)
    There are TONS of things for a single in STL to do with others in the outdoors. MeetUp is a great place to start. St. Louis Adventure Group has a weekly night hike on Thursdays and plenty of other activities. None require more than a week or so RSVP. Same with St. Louis Singles Adventure Group. Try joining as many outdoor groups on MeetUp as you can to give yourself a wider array of outdoor choices.

  8. #8
    Garlic
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    I agree with the posts above about getting active in trail organizations and maintenance, as well as just getting out and doing the activity. That's where the rubber meets the road, so to speak, and it's an incredible community of good people.

    And you know, of course, you'll meet the right person only when you aren't looking. (Says the guy who's been married 35 years.)
    "Throw a loaf of bread and a pound of tea in an old sack and jump over the back fence." John Muir on expedition planning

  9. #9
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    Pursue what you love to find the one to love. You mentioned Meetup. Well make time for it if you want to make time for that person you will meet. Or do the thru hike and let the trail take it where you need to be in life and perhaps meet that person there. Don't put off the AT because you are waiting to find her first as you may need to find her on the AT or as a result of your journey.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  10. #10

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    I have no suggestions, but I feel your pain.

  11. #11

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    +1 to Illabelle's post. Find someone you like. You'll never find the exact person who you like, who likes you, with the same love for hiking, and who hikes at the same pace. One partner always has to be willing to slow down to accommodate the other partner, and they aren't going to do that unless they like each other. Start with the like each other part.

    Meetup is great for what it is. I've met a bunch of interesting people through meetup, but the same kind of rules apply. Competition, distance, relative attractiveness (not necessarily physical), schedules, incompatible age or gender. Highly recommend just to share the activity with humans, but don't count on meeting that special someone.

    Be attractive, don't be unattractive.

  12. #12
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    Just a word about meetup ... supply and demand of spots on an outing definitely varies from group to group and place to place, but I have seen groups where people almost always get in off a waiting list, because there are always people who drop off a hike in the last day or two, due to some unforeseen circumstance or a better offer or whatever. You could keep a bag partially packed and monitor the drop-offs as you get nearer an event that, you find out, you can attend. Might not be the case where you are, but I thought I'd mention it.

    Could not agree more with illabelle. Best advice so far, IMO. Just get out there, however you can. You'll meet some fine people, regardless of romantic potential.

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by garlic08 View Post
    I agree with the posts above about getting active in trail organizations and maintenance, as well as just getting out and doing the activity. That's where the rubber meets the road, so to speak, and it's an incredible community of good people.

    And you know, of course, you'll meet the right person only when you aren't looking. (Says the guy who's been married 35 years.)
    This reminds me of a couple trips where I met a couple hiking groups and took their pics.


    This was taken on the Mountains to Sea trail above Upper Creek in the Pisgah NF---App State college kids out for a trip.


    This interesting shot was taken on the AT near Mt Rogers and shows a women's backpacking group pulling a long trip and wanted me in the pic.


    Here's a good example of dayhikers and area hiking groups. This is the Tellico Plains Hiking Club who I recently met on the Bald River trail.

  14. #14
    4eyedbuzzard's Avatar
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    And now we all finally know the REAL reason Tipi stays out in the woods for so long - Tipi's Hiking Harem.

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by 4eyedbuzzard View Post
    And now we all finally know the REAL reason Tipi stays out in the woods for so long - Tipi's Hiking Harem.
    When I got home my wife was really disturbed by this pic---Just kidding but she did get a good laugh---

    TRIP 123 229-L.jpg

  16. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by mml373 View Post
    Note from a single guy who's been using "traditional" online dating sites to meet a lady hiker for far too long...without success, in terms of actually meeting someone who "really hikes." :-) And, evidently "camping" means RVing...not really camping. :-)

    Are there any resources out there that can help single hikers meet? Match dot com is worthless in terms of meeting people who really are into hiking/backpacking at the level I enjoy (intent to through hike the AT.) I am aware of Meetup, but unfortunately I work rotating shifts and am unable to participate in my local hiking group's outings because I never know my work schedule far enough in advance (they book up more than a month out.) Still, backpacking (and perhaps an AT through hike) is something I want to share with someone special and cannot imagine ever being with someone who doesn't have a passion for the trail.

    I see all these couples that have relatively little in common, always fighting, and just can't imagine ever going down that road.

    Just trying to come up with options or see how others couples met through their love of backpacking. I'm an early/mid 40s guy near St. Louis, looking to find someone who understands this whole active lifestyle/backpacking thing that so many of us here enjoy. There's so much to see, to learn, and to experience and it would better to experience it all with someone.


    Thanks in advance for helpful replies. :-)

    Here's the best advice:

    Stay single. You are the envy of many men currently in dead end relationships. All women start off sweet and cute and before you know it, you wake up next to complete opposite. Take a few deep breaths and this desire to find a mate will soon disappear. Being single isnt sad; its liberating; the solitude, the peace, the tranquility Vs a lifetime of nagging, whinning and bitching!))

  17. #17

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    See if you can get a job at Mountain Crossings at Neel Gap. You'll get to see a few thousand(?) female hikers every season.

    Seriously, I agree 100% with Ilabelle's post. Go out and do what you're passionate about, join hiking groups, trail maintainence groups, trail magic groups etc. One caution though. Go to the women's forum and read the thread about "How to spot a Creeper" or some heading like that and don't be that guy they describe.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by firesign View Post
    Here's the best advice:

    Stay single. You are the envy of many men currently in dead end relationships. All women start off sweet and cute and before you know it, you wake up next to complete opposite. Take a few deep breaths and this desire to find a mate will soon disappear. Being single isnt sad; its liberating; the solitude, the peace, the tranquility Vs a lifetime of nagging, whinning and bitching!))
    Being single can be awesome, but having the type of attitude that's apparent in the rest of your post will probably create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    Anyways, you may find a girl that loves hiking... but only does day trips, or only wants to go to popular summits, or wants to bring 1000lbs of gear, or hikes really slow, or hikes really fast, or is always on her phone in the woods, or who hates that you are always on your phone in the woods, or who is hyper-focused on her blog, or who takes a million selfies... etc. Going into a relationship saying I want ____ may not be the best choice. Live your life, if you meet someone you love and start a relationship, there's a good chance you can get them to go hiking with you and compromise on what the trips entail. My guess is most guys who troll Meetup groups or get out on the trail with intentions of picking someone up are rarely successful. Also, many girls won't want to immediately go from being strangers to being alone in the back-country together, so you may want to have more in common than just walking with a backpack.
    Backpacking isn't rocket science, if you meet someone who can walk the chances are you can get them up to speed in no time, if they're willing. There are plenty of couples on the AT where one partner was brand new at the start.
    Last edited by Zea; 05-11-2017 at 13:12.

  19. #19
    Leonidas
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    Seems to be that every year on the AT romance blooms. Heck, it even ruined a chance at the first calendar triple crown for a female.
    AT: 471 mi

    Pinhoti Trail '18-19'

    @leonidasonthetrail https://www.youtube.com/user/tehJC13

  20. #20
    Registered User theinfamousj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mml373 View Post
    Note from a single guy who's been using "traditional" online dating sites to meet a lady hiker for far too long...without success, in terms of actually meeting someone who "really hikes." :-) And, evidently "camping" means RVing...not really camping. :-)
    Ah ha! That explains my mother's lack of success! She usually describes her favorite hikes and camp spots and the gents she is on dates with suddenly get all, "Oh, yeah, well, um, I like the *idea* of camping..."

    They think her professed love of camping is RVing. That makes so much more sense.

    My Facebook mentions that I like to "camp in the remote wilds of the world". I suppose that is enough elaboration to say, "Not an RVer."

    Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

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