Okay, so I had to look up Gayetty. What disturbed me most though are the last few words of Wikipedia's first sentence: "Joseph C. Gayetty (b. 1827? Massachusetts - d.__ ) was an American inventor credited with the invention of commercial toilet paper.[1][2][3] It was the first and remained only one of the few commercial toilet papers from 1857 to 1890 remaining in common use until the invention of splinter-free toilet paper in 1935 by the Northern Tissue Company."
Grandpa and Grandma often waxed poetic about the hardships of life early in the century - but never once mentioned sphincter splinters. Just didn't see that coming...