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  1. #41

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    Quote Originally Posted by 4eyedbuzzard View Post
    Yeah, it kind of is because it's only being asked now to make a point.

    In fairness, there are often questions regarding bras, menstruation, etc., that are more appropriate for only other women to answer, even if men may have knowledge due to their spouse/SO. And I understand women who may not want men answering their requests for hiking partners. Cyber pink-blazing and such.

    Not exactly, but I think mothers relationships with their children are a bit different than a fathers. Not that men don't love and care for their children. But it is different - "A mother's love..."

    Yep. Nothing new here on WB. People come here all the time looking for validation to quit their jobs mid-career, quit school, leave their spouse and/or family, take out loans, open gofundme accounts, hike for charity - the list is endless. And they are usually disappointed by the majority of answers because most people here are surprisingly well-grounded for a bunch of wanderlust hikers. Probably because they've either experienced the downside themselves or seen it in others too many times: Quit my job, or quit school, or left my wife, sold the house, spent my savings --- then quit the trail at Neel Gap. Not that this happens to everyone obviously, some people manage to balance thru-hiking and the rest of their lives quite positively. But it or something like it is all too often the reality with mid-life decisions made under internal stress when life's timing isn't ideal for a long hike. There are some great times to hike. Transitions in school, jobs, relationships, retirement, etc. In the middle of raising a family isn't usually on that list.

    But as you note above, what they are looking for is validation and comments that support their motive because deep down, people seeking validation are already conflicted over desire (to hike) vs. duty/responsibility to externalities (could be career/job, spouse, children, etc). They don't really want to hear opposing opinions because it raises the level of their internal cognitive dissonance. If they weren't already conflicted, they wouldn't be seeking validation - they'd just hike. So they come here thinking a bunch of hikers will offer nothing but support, but find instead that the place is full of the more mainstream moms and dads (who just happen to hike) they don't want to hear from. And then maybe they flag the posts for moderation for whatever reason they can find.
    You express thoughts bettern me.

    But an all too common theme, is that people get enamored with some romanticized notion of a thru hike. Nothing else will do. Nothing. That bubble bursts pretty quick when you start uphill with that heavy pack. These are frequently the people that drop out quick. At least from many journals i read.
    Last edited by MuddyWaters; 03-25-2019 at 18:47.

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by tdoczi View Post
    so making a point is acting like a 2 year old?...
    Making a point over something like being requested not to post in one specific forum that's titled "Female Hiking forums - For Woman's Issue only"? Is it really that important a restriction on one's online activity that a point has to be made?

  3. #43

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    Quote Originally Posted by 4eyedbuzzard View Post
    Unless you know a WB member IRL, how do you know what gender they truly are? The internet is a pretty anonymous place. Gender and/or gender identification, race, age, location, are only what the person behind the computer claims they are. And I can almost guaranty you that there are women members here on WB who use member names and avatars that would lead others to normally associate them with being men, not women. It's not an uncommon practice in the online world. There are many reasons. In work and business forums, women often face the same glass ceiling they do IRL and can be treated condescendingly by some men. In sports and outdoor forums they are often not viewed as seriously as men. And then there's cyber safety to consider. Gender anonymity and false gender identity is often used an online safety measure to reduce the possibility of unwanted attention and cyber stalking.
    Many guys will chime in while saying "I'm a guy so take this for what it's worth" or something similar.
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  4. #44

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    Quote Originally Posted by MuddyWaters View Post
    Its not.

    Look at womens forum posts. Most are gear or hiking buddies.

    And a parent ditching kids to go hike, isnt exactly gender specific either. The OP wanted cheerleaders to tell her it was OK. No reason to even ask otherwise, duh.

    And input from other people, who together with their spouse raised several kids to adulthood in a healthy family unit, simply cant be pertinent can it?
    Some of us women disagreed with her and told her to wait to thru hike. And yes, I do think, no I know, in MOST cases, being the mother who has primary responsibility for the kids and their activities and the household, is a whole lot different than being the husband who takes off on a hike for a week, a month or 6 months. My husband used to travel a lot and there were actually times when it was "easier" when he was gone because we had our routine down pat.
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  5. #45

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    Quote Originally Posted by PennyPincher View Post
    Some of us women disagreed with her and told her to wait to thru hike. And yes, I do think, no I know, in MOST cases, being the mother who has primary responsibility for the kids and their activities and the household, is a whole lot different than being the husband who takes off on a hike for a week, a month or 6 months. My husband used to travel a lot and there were actually times when it was "easier" when he was gone because we had our routine down pat.
    I'd occasionally get sent out of town for six week training sessions. I absolutely hated being away from my kids for that length of time. I'd have loved to have stayed home full time and done the primary care giving, and let the wife work. She needed breaks from the kids and I couldn't understand it at the time. I think it's one of those "we value more that which we don't have" things.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4eyedbuzzard View Post
    Making a point over something like being requested not to post in one specific forum that's titled "Female Hiking forums - For Woman's Issue only"? Is it really that important a restriction on one's online activity that a point has to be made?
    now i'm confused, my point specifically is childish or the mere act of making a point is?

    but in all seriousness, IMO i responded to childish nonsense in kind.

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by gpburdelljr View Post
    Here is the explanation of content allowed.
    https://whiteblaze.net/forum/showthr...e-Hiking-Forum
    quoting: "Currently this is an open forum. So with that in mind, if you are a male reading this, please refrain from making rude, crude or otherwise distracting posts here."
    I feel quite sure I didn't post anything rude, crude, or otherwise..... unless by otherwise they mean reasoned input from a fellow parent that applies to the question.

    If it's only because I'm a guy...um yeah, that's nothing but divisive IMO. Kinda makes me want to block a few random folks from some of my threads for no reason.....
    I suppose what I had posted was in opposition to what the OP wanted to read....but it was a perspective to consider forma parent faced with the exact same delima..... EXACTLY!

    I don't know, it just seems to me that a women's forum would be a "safe place" where ladies might go to post things that are girl specific (i.e hygene or whatever), not a place to private conversations about things that aren't gender "specific" or "unmentionable"

    oh well..... whatever.

  8. #48

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    Quote Originally Posted by blw2 View Post
    quoting: "Currently this is an open forum. So with that in mind, if you are a male reading this, please refrain from making rude, crude or otherwise distracting posts here."
    I feel quite sure I didn't post anything rude, crude, or otherwise..... unless by otherwise they mean reasoned input from a fellow parent that applies to the question.

    If it's only because I'm a guy...um yeah, that's nothing but divisive IMO. Kinda makes me want to block a few random folks from some of my threads for no reason.....
    I suppose what I had posted was in opposition to what the OP wanted to read....but it was a perspective to consider forma parent faced with the exact same delima..... EXACTLY!

    I don't know, it just seems to me that a women's forum would be a "safe place" where ladies might go to post things that are girl specific (i.e hygene or whatever), not a place to private conversations about things that aren't gender "specific" or "unmentionable"

    oh well..... whatever.
    Look at it like the Straight Forward, or Pet forum.

    If someone asks for feedback about hammocks from people who have actually used hammocks, they're looking for specific information from specific people, not everyone's opinion on hammocks and why they've never used a hammock, but don't like them anyway.

    Same with the Pet's forum. If someone asks for feedback from pet owners who have successfully thru hiked with pets, they're asking for specific feedback from specific people, not for that Puddlefish guy to whine about that one time when a dog tried to bite him.

    It's not unreasonable for a woman to to ask for other womens' feedback about an issue. If she specifically asks for female opinions... just let it go, don't force your opinions, no once cares if we have wives, daughters, or girlfriends. They're seeking a female perspective, not a parent's perspective, not a boyfriend's perspective, and you and I can't give them that, no matter how very much we value our own opinions, and think the rest of the world needs to hear them.

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4eyedbuzzard View Post
    Unless you know a WB member IRL, how do you know what gender they truly are? The internet is a pretty anonymous place. Gender and/or gender identification, race, age, location, are only what the person behind the computer claims they are. And I can almost guaranty you that there are women members here on WB who use member names and avatars that would lead others to normally associate them with being men, not women. It's not an uncommon practice in the online world. There are many reasons. In work and business forums, women often face the same glass ceiling they do IRL and can be treated condescendingly by some men. In sports and outdoor forums they are often not viewed as seriously as men. And then there's cyber safety to consider. Gender anonymity and false gender identity is often used an online safety measure to reduce the possibility of unwanted attention and cyber stalking.
    Thank you Dr Phil for mansplaining it. Let some hairy grays grow in and you might audition for the modern role version of a Great Wonderful and Powerful OZ. I mean that in an analytically positive sense. Now all this thread needs is defining a thru hike and what it costs to thru hike and will have a Trifecta.

  10. #50
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    Jesus, next are we going to see a thread like "Got Kicked Out Of The Ladies Room" or something? It's a women only forum, they don't want you posting (or probably even reading) there, so leave it alone and get over it.

  11. #51
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    I don't think the issue is that men should never post in the women's forum, but rather when someone specifically requests advice from a specific subsection of hikers sharing their specific situation, just understand that your opinion might not be relevant. It doesn't mean that an opinion from a related experience or from reasonable conjecture isn't a valid opinion, but that's not what was requested. There are similar guidelines for answering posts in the Dog forum and Speed Hiking forum, if I'm not mistaken. But this happens a lot in the Women's forum, and not just when it could be framed as a gender-neutral topic like parenting.

    I remember posting a thread about bras in the Women's forum before my hike last year and had more male responses than female ones. About bras! I whole-heartedly believe each man who replied intended to be helpful, but I was not interested in a bunch of men telling me that my concerns were nothing to worry about. A man can spend a hundred nights around a camp fire and be oblivious to certain experiences a young woman might be having at the same campfire (just as I'm sure I'm oblivious to parts of the male experience), so it was the female perspectives that I was after. I had to roll my eyes halfway into my skull when one guy literally started his response -- in a thread requesting personal experiences of being a woman and feeling comfortable/uncomfortable with going braless in camp-- with "The real answer: ...." I mean, dude. Really?


    I totally think a father's opinion about leaving his kids for a thru-hike could be valuable to a mother considering the same decision. But the thread very clearly requested opinions from mothers. So if the OP and/or the mod decided to delete the posts of folks who weren't the target audience-- even if it's because OP is just upset that responses aren't validating them, and not because of gender-- time to shrug your shoulders and move on.
    A.T. 2018 Thru-hike Hopeful
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  12. #52

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    Quote Originally Posted by blw2 View Post
    quoting: "Currently this is an open forum. So with that in mind, if you are a male reading this, please refrain from making rude, crude or otherwise distracting posts here."
    I feel quite sure I didn't post anything rude, crude, or otherwise..... unless by otherwise they mean reasoned input from a fellow parent that applies to the question.

    If it's only because I'm a guy...um yeah, that's nothing but divisive IMO. Kinda makes me want to block a few random folks from some of my threads for no reason.....
    I suppose what I had posted was in opposition to what the OP wanted to read....but it was a perspective to consider forma parent faced with the exact same delima..... EXACTLY!

    I don't know, it just seems to me that a women's forum would be a "safe place" where ladies might go to post things that are girl specific (i.e hygene or whatever), not a place to private conversations about things that aren't gender "specific" or "unmentionable"

    oh well..... whatever.
    The very first sentence of the post was:

    I'm wondering if there are other women out there in my position:”

    It’s pretty clear she was looking for comments from women, not men.



  13. #53

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    Quote Originally Posted by gpburdelljr View Post
    The very first sentence of the post was:

    I'm wondering if there are other women out there in my position:”

    It’s pretty clear she was looking for comments from women, not men.


    And the very last sentence was "I figured if I could find other mothers out there in the same position it would help!" Posted into the Female Hiking Forum. Which has the rosey pink background. On the fourth post no less, 3 guys in a row posted into the thread two of whom I am certain know better not to but did it anyway. If the OP in a thread in the Female Hiking Forum asks for responses from other women, let the other women answer the thread topic. It's common courtesy regardless of gender on any thread in the forum honestly where the OP has specifically asked for a desired perspective. If no one answers in a week or two maybe chime in guys. Less than 2.5 hours later, chill the hell out fellahs.

    Also, just PM a moderator if you have a question like this one-post deleted and you've been thread banned. Site rules are in my signature (See #3), or use this link https://whiteblaze.net/forum/agreement.php, look under Odds & Ends above, second item.
    "Sleepy alligator in the noonday sun
    Sleepin by the river just like he usually done
    Call for his whisky
    He can call for his tea
    Call all he wanta but he can't call me..."
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  14. #54

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    Quote Originally Posted by tdoczi View Post
    is this thread, for example, something we really need a special place for female users of this site to solicit answers ONLY from other female users? and if a man should dare chime in there should be repercussions?

    https://whiteblaze.net/forum/showthr...shoes-worth-it

    if so, i'd like to be pointed towards the forum where i can ask trekking poll advise only from men in their 40s
    The thread posted by Robert Miles, from phonenix, Arizona? I didn't see that one originally but Robert is a spammer from Bangladesh.

    Spammers are getting a little more "creative" lately. They like to cut and paste actual posts from other forums because it sounds plausible as the grammar of the copied post is often better than their own but the post may still be out of context. In this case, a man posting into the Female Hiking Forum about approach shoes on 5.0-5.4 territory. Gender not mentioned at all. We're not a climbing forum.

    The spammer copied it from here.
    "Sleepy alligator in the noonday sun
    Sleepin by the river just like he usually done
    Call for his whisky
    He can call for his tea
    Call all he wanta but he can't call me..."
    Robert Hunter & Ron McKernan

    Whiteblaze.net User Agreement.

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