Lighten up

[RangerZ]

What can I do to lose some more milligrams? They all add up.

I’ve already:

Peeled the labels off my chapstick, body glide and gold bond powder containers.

Have titanium eye glass frames, cook pot and lid, spoon, windscreen and trowel.

Sanded the paint off of my tent stakes.

Trimmed the page margins from my AWOL guide. Trimmed the excess plastic at the tops of zip lock bags.

Changed from a 0.7 to 0.5 mm diameter pencil lead mechanical pencil.

Deleted apps from my cell phone.

Separated 2 ply TP into 1 ply.

Shortened my laces to the extent possible.


Like I said, lighten up.

[rmitchell]

Try to keep happy thoughts.

No need to hike with heavy heart.

Keep it light.

[foodbag]

Thanks for the humorous post - I was having a case of the Mondays until I read it

[Maineiac64]

Go keto and intermittent fast

[MuddyWaters]

Your jesting of course,

But most of the items, sans eyeglasses and shoelaces, a few awol pages, and scraps of TP..... arent required. So dont bring them.

And for the glasses you could get Lasik....

[Coffee]

Use your trowel as a spoon.

[HooKooDooKu]

Use your trowel as a spoon.

Use your spoon as a trowel.

[mclaught]

Deleting apps is a really good idea. I hadn't thought of that and now I'm also not going to charge my phone battery as much, maybe only 50% or so.

[RangerZ]

Thanks for the humorous post - I was having a case of the Mondays until I read it

Glad to be of service.

[RangerZ]

Your jesting of course,
But most of the items, sans eyeglasses and shoelaces, a few awol pages, and scraps of TP..... arent required. So dont bring them.
And for the glasses you could get Lasik....

I'm actually waiting for future cataract surgery. My wife’s surgery corrected her vision so much that she doesn’t need glasses any more.

[RockDoc]

Your post is funny because it is spot on....

But losing body weight is the smartest way to lighten your kit.

[Mouser999]

You could drink "go lightly" the pre colonoscopy drink. You'll drop some weight))))

[4eyedbuzzard]

You could drink "go lightly" the pre colonoscopy drink. You'll drop some weight))))

And add some thrust...

[RangerZ]

Use your spoon as a trowel.

I like the idea. Just have to use them in the right order.

[4eyedbuzzard]

I like the idea. Just have to use them in the right order.

After the first rotation there is no right order.

[greenmtnboy]

From the local seniors, not sure if there is relevance here....

WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE!What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans takecare of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a waterpark. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal.You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and thinkof which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress: $5,000. Tux rental: $100. People never stareat your chest when you’re talking to them.New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be yourfriend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a five-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You are unable to see wrinklesin your clothes.Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shaveyour face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes: One color for all seasons. Youcan wear shorts no matter how your legs look.You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can doChristmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier!

THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN & WOMEN (They’re not what you might think!)NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. But ifMike, Dave and John go out, they will refer to each other affectionately as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wild Man.EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only $32.50;none of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls gettheir bill, out come the pocket calculators.MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need... butit’s on sale.BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar ofsoap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. (ēĔęĊ: A man would notbe able to identify more than 20 of these item.)ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument... anything a man says after that is the beginning of anew argument.THE FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about thefuture... until he gets a wife.MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change... but he doesn’t. A man marries a womanexpecting she won’t change... but she does.

[Odd Man Out]

https://www.amazon.com/Future-Essent.../dp/B00BQ1VD6W

[gracebowen]

You forgot to trim and hem extra length off of your T-shirts.

Shave your head. In fact shave everything.

Trim your nails as short as possible.

[gracebowen]

Mechanical pencils have .03 size lead.

[Dogwood]

Things ULers say by Jupiter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oxpObyS4DE

My favs from Jupiter:

Do you know the wt savings?

You know I heard of one guy that cut one of the shoulder straps off his pack. Do you really need two?

I come out here to be free. You know I don't need some backpack weighing me down?

You know I was fired from my job? But now I can hike full-time.

I can't wait to get home to edit my lighter pack.

Selfieing his pack like it's a scantily clad Scarlett Johansson.

Yeah, I dont carry a stove. I prefer my food cold. Food is just better. All I eat is cold beans and pure sugar. Yeah a stove is just too heavy. It really gets in the way of me enjoying the outdoors. Think of the wt savings.

I can't wait to get home and reweigh all my gear.

My pack is so light you know I can probably run this trail.

I can't wait to go to the thrift store and look for more button down shirts.

Do you know if you take the stickers off your water bottles you save a gram?

I'm only interested in routes no one has ever done before or FKTs.

Swami is like my spirit animal.

You know I'm thinking about getting my toenails removed.

Bug spray just isn't worth the wt.

Oh dude you gotta try a quilt. It's like a sleeping bag but lighter. I never experience any drafts with a quilt.

No I stopped carrying a rain jacket awhile ago. Do you know your skin is WP, right?

Yeah, if you want the lightest set up you have to buy all cuben

Think of the wt savings.