Travel Bidet Recommendation?

[Time Zone]

Today my Tushy Travel Bidet gave up the ghost ... namely, a small tear in its side. I guess it weakened over time. I got it in late 2020, so a bit under 4 years, but not daily use ... probably only used 1/4-1/3 of the time, so say about a year's daily use. That seems typical compared to some other reviews I've seen. I'm considering my options for replacement, from among it, something from Brondell, CuloClean, HoleyHiker, and other cap-style attachments.

It's among the more expensive and heavier travel bidets, and but it does have a few advantages. It collapses to be smaller, it has a well-angled flip spout that sprays 3 narrow streams, and perhaps the most unappreciated advantage, it does not make a loud plastic bottle crinkle sound when you squeeze it. It's quiet, because the bottle part is made from silicone.

On the trail, a bidet water bottle that squeezes quietly is probably not that important. But if you aren't in the woods when away from home, I suspect you're not going to want a loud crinkly bottle in a public restroom (e.g., highway rest stop) for instance. So ... I may get another, or something like it. For hiking I may get a cap style one (I've also made my own* which works decently as well).

Any recommendations for quiet travel models, as well as cap-style on-trail models? Or just experiences to share? Thanks much.



* Grip a nail of desired aperture diameter in some pliers or vice-grip. Hold over tealight candle to heat up. Pierce water bottle cap with hot nail at desired angle through its top surface. Definitely ultralight!

[Miner]

Since most of us hike, the ones that go onto a water bottle work best for many on this forum; preferably the ones that will accept different diameters other than just Smart Water bottles, as soda bottles are narrower. Ive been using this one, UYICOO Portable Bidet, for the past 4 years and have had no issues with using the same one. I see no signs of it giving out anytime soon. It is a simple as you can get; want more water, squeeze the bottle harder. What I like about it over other similar ones is the neck is longer so you are less likely to get an accidental drip on the threads of your bottle.

Having a bidet is really helpful if you are having a bit of the runs, and just being able to cleanup better when you aren't showering any time soon. If nothing else, it seems to prevent Monkey Butt when you are hiking in hot weather for several days and can't clean up with sweat on your backside, along with the other things. I once started to get a case of that on the PCT in a heatwave in Oregon and cleaning my backside everyday cleared it up and haven't had any issues since due to keeping cleaner.

[chknfngrs]

absolutely sparkles, doesn’t it? I mean, my backside is probably the cleanest part while on trail.

[Time Zone]

So are there soft and/or quiet bottles on which these cap-based bidets will fit? Or is it just crinkly and noisy water/soda bottles?

[Miner]

They fit a variety of opening sizes, within limits, but yes, they are normally soda and water bottles.. But I don't notice much noise in standard water/soda bottles. The bottle is turned upside down and I use a 20oz or larger size so there is some water pressure behind it. Squeezing the middle of the bottle doesn't really make much noise for the amount that I squeeze. I suppose if you are really squeezing hard you'd get more crinkly noise. I think it has to do with the size of the bidet opening and how much water you are trying to get at one time. I'm not trying to get a jet washer effect.

Not everyone does it, but using your left hand with the bidet will get your backside cleaner than just water pressure; relying on soap or hand sanitizer afterwards to kill any germs as the water should have gotten any noticeable things off your backside and hand. Having spent 5 months last year on the CDT with one, including having the runs for a week due to some medication I was on briefly, I'm satisfied with how things worked.

[Time Zone]

Thanks - that makes sense ... the larger, taller the bottle, the less you have to squeeze it to get out a given amount of water.
These things have a limited life - I think I may try a couple cap-style ones from GGG and compare to my own. A friend gave me a peri bottle once, and that is soft and non-crinkly, but IIRC the threads aren't suitable for a screw-on bidet attachment that would spray directly (on the target area, e.g., 90 degrees) if inverted. [Instead, it sprays in the direction of the bottle's long axis]. It would work well for the "pour from the top, let gravity carry the water where it needs to go" method, while conserving water due to the small holes in it. But I tried it once at home and ... the water didn't go where I hoped it would. Perhaps a deeper squat in the woods it might have, but it never made it into my kit. If I still have it around though I think it would combine well with the Holey Hiker cap - IIRC that doesn't require specific threading.

Edit: I do still have it. The bottle opening is smaller than that of a standard soda/water bottle. Not by a lot, but enough to notice at a glance. So it's questionable that the HHv2 will fit in there. But I'll find out.

[Time Zone]

Update: have tried 4 new commercially-made bidet bottle toppers. Two very good, two can't recommend.
Very good:
Holey Hiker: this is a press-fit topper with 4 nozzles. Stays in place and does a nice job. Water use light to moderate, although water pressure is a bit light.
Common Gear 3g: this is a screw-cap style topper. 1 nozzle, but you can move it around (like my DIY one mentioned at the end of the original post). Water use moderate, pressure (perfectly) moderate. Jury is out on durability, as it looks 3D printed not injection molded. Apparently some earlier ones were not so robust, as they acknowledge this on the product page and encourage you to reach out to retailer's CS (to make it right presumably). Not sure if mine is pre- or post-fix.

Can't recommend:
Pika Outdoors/Summit Suds backcountry bidet: appears to be 3D printed, kind of heavy (feels solid), screw-cap style. I struggled to get more than a short, very weak stream out of this. So, water use very low, water pressure very low. It's hard for me to believe all of these are this weak; perhaps some manufacturing variances led me to get a particularly low-flow one.
CuloClean: press-fit style topper, 2-tiered design can fit 2 diameters. Water use high and VERY fast, yet water pressure on the light side of moderate. At least all the water goes where it should. But it's over before you know it, and it seems to empty faster than you can squeeze it to generate a good pressure on the stream. That last part might depend on the bottle. I'm using a half-liter soda bottle, tall and skinny.

My DIY one is most like the common gear 3g one, in that it's a single stream that seems to strike the right balance of water use and pressure. If you were using say 8oz or less instead of 17 (this is just home testing thus far) then I'd suggest the Holey Hiker as I think the 4 nozzles do sufficiently good work with less water and less effort. The common gear and DIY ones are right up there too, and might be my preference when water is plentiful.