go here >>>> Chuck Norris
Originally Posted by Tabasco
Thanks StarLyte, Tabasco shared that with us a while back. But it's still nice to be reminded that corporate America still has a little sense of humor.
"If you play a Nicleback song backwards, you'll hear messages from the devil. Even worse, if you play it forward, you'll hear Nickleback." - Dave Grohl
I have a WONDERFUL collection of Chuck Norris quotes photographed from the walls of Porta-Johns in Iraq and Kuwait. Picture this: sitting on the pot - the door reads "look out Chuck Norris is behind you!" When you turn around, the back wall says, "Awww, you missed him - you're lucky to be alive!"
"All I wanna do is go the distance..."
"If you play a Nicleback song backwards, you'll hear messages from the devil. Even worse, if you play it forward, you'll hear Nickleback." - Dave Grohl
I love this thread... just had to throw that out there...
It's fun....one of my favorites. And there hasn't been a single arguement on this thread of which I'm aware. (Knock on wood!)
"If you play a Nicleback song backwards, you'll hear messages from the devil. Even worse, if you play it forward, you'll hear Nickleback." - Dave Grohl
Chuck Norris was banned from the zoo. He kept battling the silverback for his females.
Chuck Norris was once mistakenly categorized in the orangutan species of great ape. The scientists never made that mistake twice. He now has his own genus called chimpus norrisae.
Chuck Norris has no problem with male pattern baldness. He just tells his hair to grow and it does. Example: Enough back hair to shame a wolly mamoth.
Chuck Norris felt embarrassed by his fellow redhead's weak body so he told him, "Carrot Top, thou shalt be strong. And he was."
Chuck Norris has done more than all federal, state and local governments combined could ever do....he has given the white trash hope.
Chuck Norris was once walking by the Westminster dog show during the bull dog portion. He was immediately surrounded by judges checking his teeth, coat and crotch. He won first prize.
After realizing their mistake the main judged tried to disqualify Chuck. Needless to say the trophy still sits proudly on Chucks mantle and that judge will never walk again.
The heavens and the earth are balanced by two polar opposites, Chuck Norris and Bob Ross.
Chuck Norris' liver is so tough, he once used it to filter the pollution off the Yangtzee River. For the next generation Chinese boys could see straight down to the bottom. They built a shrine to his liver.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to sleep like other humans. His heart, breathing and brain activity are so low it's as if he's always in permanent hibernation mode.
"If you play a Nicleback song backwards, you'll hear messages from the devil. Even worse, if you play it forward, you'll hear Nickleback." - Dave Grohl
After viewing that you might want to sleep with one eye open.Chuck dosesn't play
When Chuck Norris drinks out of a Nalgene Bottle, the bottle grows giant Chuck Norris testicles.
too much to sift through, so i don't know if it's been said or not, but my favorite is:
when the boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for chuck norris
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