Men's advice get rid of a guy on the trail.

[Ewker]

does this need to be talked about again and again

[Nean]

does this need to be talked about again and again

My thought ? Sure it does.
We have new members everyday.
Everytime something like this is talked about, well, more people have the oportunity to understand what's up.

You don't have to read it again and again however.

[SGT Rock]

Speaking as a guy to all the guys, but this isn't a question of "are women too indirect," or, as so poignantly put by that master of misogyny, Professor Higgins in My Fair Lady, "Why can't a woman be more like a man?"

It's pretty clear: "Among us girls." What part of that don't the rest of us guys understand? She asked for it clearly, and instead, a lot of guys play don't "get it" from that. Would you rather a woman just was bloody rude? Or would she get criticised then?

If you want to debate when and how women should say things clearly, go to a relationships forum, dudes. THIS thread is one that the person starting it, politely and clearly, said, "I want to hear from other women on this."

Any man wanting further discussion on this point - or even on her thread - should honor her request and take HIS comments to another thread. Isn't that the point?

Rock, you got it right the first time, but not the second. Sorry, Sarge...but take it elsewhere.

The Weasel

Well Weasel there was a thread in the women's forum that this thread started from. The guys started posting there, so instead of letting them take over that thread (as has happened in the recent past) I coppied this one over here to let the guys beat the horse while leaving the women's thread alone. I figured if guys were going to try and post somewhere anyway, may as well let them do it here and let them have their say. I know you haven't been around for a while (welcome back again BTW ) but this topic has been brought up a few times by women and ends up with discussions about hot dogs and women's anatomy. The point of starting this thread was to get that away from the original thread so the guys don't go there again - at least not on that version of the thread.

But I know you are trying to do the right thing - just like I was trying to do. We just missed the same starting point time and place

[jlb2012]

being properly respectful I know better than to post the following suggestion over in the women's forum:

one way to get rid of a guy who is bothering you on the trail - carry a sharp straight razor and tell the guy that the razor's name is Lorraine

[the goat]

I still hope to hear any other ideas for dealing with this annoying problem.

tell him you love him & want to marry him. that should do it.

[copythat]

"i thought i'd be out of place on the trail, seeing as how i'm a nun, but i'm really having a good time."

[Toolshed]

I started to think this whole concept was annoying because there are also enough annoying cloying women out there to sink a ship (ask any guy who has ever worked in the bar or nightclub about all the barflies), but then I thought about funny lines that would make me (or any normal guy) run for the hills:

I have this thick white discharge.....
I don't pluck those inch-long hairs around my nipples
I quit having sex 14 years ago and when I realized how disgusting it was
I slept around a lot and picked up a couple of STDs in my younger days, but they are now all under control.
I spent 8 months in prison in Georgia for stabbing my old boyfriend while he was sleeping one night because the prick smiled at another woman.
I find Loretta Bobbitt to be a courageous trendsetter.

[scope]

one way to get rid of a guy who is bothering you on the trail - carry a sharp straight razor and tell the guy that the razor's name is Lorraine

I think its Lorraina, actually...

[Toolshed]

I think its Lorraina, actually...

Sorry, I was thinking of my Mother-in-law "Loretta" (.....shudder.....)

[jlb2012]

I think its Lorraina, actually...

Lorena Bobbitt actually

[Frolicking Dinosaurs]

Hi, my name is Lorena Bobbit and I'm so happy to finally be out of jail. Can I borrow your scissors?

[hikerjohnd]

I have this thick white discharge.....
I don't pluck those inch-long hairs around my nipples
I quit having sex 14 years ago and when I realized how disgusting it was
I slept around a lot and picked up a couple of STDs in my younger days, but they are now all under control.
I spent 8 months in prison in Georgia for stabbing my old boyfriend while he was sleeping one night because the prick smiled at another woman.
I find Loretta Bobbitt to be a courageous trendsetter.

Ok - at first I was grossed out - but now this is my favorite post - #1 would send me running!

[TIDE-HSV]

the sort of thing you tend to take a person's word for... You don't want to verify it personally...

[Hammock Hanger]

Exactly. My wife and I had this discussion about something like this - specifically about the thread that sparked this one. She was wondering why guys were posting to it. And I said the initial post never said GUYS PLEASE STAY OUT. She said that she did, but wasn't being said in such a rude in the way but politely. I told her that the way I put it wasn't rude, that was what guys want: bottom line up front guidance on what is wanted. Anything that is vague with a guy will most likely have the opposite of desired effect.

On the other hand my wife told me that the way I put it was rude. So I suppose what could be construed as rude to most women is the way most men want things put, and the way a man would say what he wants or what he thinks could be considered rude to a woman.

Saying "I plan to take some time off in the next town" from a woman may mean she is dropping a subtle, polite, hint that she is trying to bow out of hiking with the guy and let him know she won't be moving out right away, most likely in an attempt to let him get ahead. HOWEVER the guy is most likely going to take this as an invitation that she wants him to do it with her, otherwise why would she mention it?

So now he is going to plan to do the same thing. Then she thinks he is an inconsiderate stalker and he thinks she just invited him to stay there with her and they have a realtionship of some sort (not neccissarily sexual).

On the other hand if she said: "I came on a solo hike for a reason - a personal one. And being with you is changing how that is working. I think we need to split up at Erwin so I can get back to hiking solo and get what I was looking for. Please do not hike with me after that so I can do this" tells him:

a) she wants to be alone

b) she doesn't want him with her. Alone does not mean the two of them alone.

c) next town is where she plans to have him go a different way.

If he still tries after that, well the only way she could be more direct is to say stay away or I will call the cops.

This all goes back to Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus....

[Almost There]

Now personally, I like to hike with another person, but it isn't the be all end all of me getting out on the trail. I am slowly getting my wife into it...but she hasn't been on any extended hikes yet. This past summer I hiked with a gal who wanted to get out for her first long hike. She had posted here and I knew the floodgates would open of offers from guys offering to hike with her. I simply sent her a PM and told her where I was hiking and told her she was more than welcome and that my wife would vouch for me that I wasn't some creep. Anyways, after that I left it up to her, she later said she asked some of the gals around here about me...Uh-oh! Anyways, it allowed her to decide in her own way and we went and hiked this summer, and had a great hike...that had absolutely nothing to do with "hooking up".

I would never push myself on another woman...for one, my wife would kill me, and two, it isn't why I am out there to hike. I was looking for someone to hike with and it just happened to be a gal. I will say this I do agree that some guys on the trail are complete dicks when it comes to gals on the trail and their desire to "get some". I saw it this summer when some guys were drooling over a girl. I don't know maybe I have never understood desperation. If a girl likes you, she'll let you know, and trust me she will already know you find her attractive. Let her make the move, and gals if the guy keeps coming on...tell him you just got out of a long relationship and you aren't interested in hooking up for a LOOOONGGG time! You could even work it into a conversation. If he still doesn't get the hint, just say I'm out here to hike my own hike and I just want some peace and solitude for awhile....and if he still doesn't get it...Tell him to ***** off!!!

[bfitz]

One method could be to start mooching from him. Have him pay for stuff in town, eat his food (the good stuff), smoke all his cigarettes or whatever he's smoking, etc. etc. Even if he doesn't leave you alone you can eventually break his bank and he'll have to get off the trail and back to work. Then you can have a great time with all the money you've saved.

[hammock engineer]

One method could be to start mooching from him. Have him pay for stuff in town, eat his food (the good stuff), smoke all his cigarettes or whatever he's smoking, etc. etc. Even if he doesn't leave you alone you can eventually break his bank and he'll have to get off the trail and back to work. Then you can have a great time with all the money you've saved.

That's the spirt. Break his bank, force him off the trail, give up his dream of hiking, and make him get a job. I think there are better ways out there then combating the worst actions in men with some of the worst things a woman can do.

[scope]

I've felt shut out of conversations between women, even though I've reassured that they're not of a personal nature.

I feel what you're saying, but I think its not really valid for men to be concerned with it. There's a ton a reasons why I think women need to be able to talk with other women, and I think women need a forum that is more like what they experience in real life, especially with being such a minority on the AT.

However, getting back to the original question, I think a woman gets rid of a man on the AT by trusting in other men to help, which perhaps is really the point that Tinker is trying to get to. As many here have said, a woman does need to communicate as literally as possible so that a man is clear on her intentions, but I think us men are writing ourselves off as dumbasses a little too quickly.

If a woman is 'communicating' to a man to leave her alone, and he's not doing that, then this is a problem man. He may not be a rapist, but he can certainly ruin a hike all the same. A woman should elicit the assistance of other men to become involved in whatever way is needed to remedy the situation, and one of the reasons I appreciate this thread staying out here, is that men need to be aware of the issues women may have on the trail and know that they may be counted upon to help.

[scope]

I feel what you're saying, but I think its not really valid for men to be concerned with it.

edit please

[Buckles]

One method could be to start mooching from him. Have him pay for stuff in town, eat his food (the good stuff), smoke all his cigarettes or whatever he's smoking, etc. etc. Even if he doesn't leave you alone you can eventually break his bank and he'll have to get off the trail and back to work. Then you can have a great time with all the money you've saved.

I think this is a great idea! Provided that he's been directly told, "I'm not interested!", the door is then open for the woman to bust the bank of any moron who can't take a hint. Turn on the charm. Make him pay for everything. Have him carry some of your gear weight. Mooch his food. He'll either run out of money or walk away when the dummy realizes this girl's going to cost him a fortune. I have no sympathy for idiots who don't know how to appropriately interact with the opposite sex. So ladies, give them a clear warning, and if that doesn't work, leave them penniless in some town while you continue merrily up the trail.