I know this isn't hiking humor, but a comment one our members* made was something to the effect of raising your kids in a barrel. The concept is you throw your kid in a barrel and feed ‘em through the bung hole until they’re 20.

On reflection, this method has some real advantages.

If you want to give ‘em a bath you just roll the barrel to the top of a hill, fill the barrel half way with water, add soap and kick the barrel down the hill. To rinse you pull the plug at the bottom of the hill, drain, roll the barrel back up the hill, fill half way with rinse water and kick ‘em back down the hill. The spin cycle is intuitively obvious.

On the down side you would have to add an overhead hoist somewhere to load ‘em into the bed of the pick up. If you want ‘em to see where you’re going you leave the plug out of the bung. If not, leave it in.

On the plus side you’ll never have to wonder where they are late at night. Just put the barrel on the lawn where you can see it out of a window and everything’s jim dandy.

On the down side creative photos of your little darling are going to require a little more effort. Of course you could paint a happy face on the barrel, guaranteeing a smile in every photo.

On the plus side you’ll never have to wonder if the new clothes are going to fit. Just pick a sufficiently large barrel to start with and you’re all set.

My hat is off to who ever developed this new method of child rearing. A few down sides, but you are guaranteed that your child will be a well rounded adult.

*I think it was Skids. Of course Skids is free to take credit for this breathtaking improvement, or can deny it if he prefers not to deal with the local DFACS.